What could possibly go wrong?

I tried instagram & twitter for a week or two each back in like 2019. I thought they were kinda dumb and deleted them.

I disabled my facebook account in the latter half of 2020 because it was just making me depressed. I don’t think I’ll ever actually delete my account, since it has my only copies of pictures with now-deceased family members. But the longer I’m gone the less I miss it. Especially the algorithmic sort, aka “you’ll watch the content we show you and to hell with your preferences”.

Parents: “son its ok if you’re gay, we know its hard being different in a small town like this but youre still our child and we will always love you no matter what”

Me: “mom, dad, i’m not gay.”

Mom: “really? you sure about that?”

Dad: “you’ve literally never had a girlfriend and would be the only straight guy in town who hasnt. hell even most of the gay kids have had a beard at some point.”

Me: “i’m not gay… i’m just horribly depressed and have zero self esteem.”

Mom: “shit. whoops. i suppose we better find you a therapist then.”

Me: crawls into a hole and dies of embarrassment

Apology was for people offended by an aquarium using teen slang to connect with today’s youth.

• take professional development on my employer’s budget
• bring a book
• don’t be afraid to take slightly longer than usual lunches for errands or for exercise or whatevs
• if monitoring is lax enough, and there’s unmonitored guest wifi, bring your personal laptop and play some vidya

As a former sysadmin I agree with this chart

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness... that is life.”

• Kevin Hart -> 5’2” / 158 cm
• The Rock -> 6’4” / 193 cm
• Shaq -> 7’1” / 216 cm
• Yao Ming -> 7’6” / 229 cm

Shame that Voyager doesn’t appear to have a way to input a clean table in a comment.

Well, so much for considering a return to twitch as an entertainment option

Looks like the cat distribution system is working as intended.

Spez isn’t on here

I’ve heard the phrase “pavement princess” used for such vehicles

“What’s the twist?”

“Good luck explaining all this to the IRS without going to prison.”

“…I’m fucked.”

Taylor Swift. She’s cute I guess but her music is the audio equivalent of a lukewarm stale glass of milk.

omg adhd must be a superpower, with the hyperfocus

Yeah, it would be, if you had any say on when the hyperfocus started and what was the subject of it.

Delete old.reddit

All the longer term users who keep the ecosystem functional will leave in frustration. That is, the ones who didn’t leave already over spez deciding to kneecap third party clients.

Once those users are gone, the death spiral starts.

Disregard inkjet printers

Acquire laser printer

I totally didn’t see this somewhere and start writing it on the walls in middle school:

Those who write on shithouse walls

Roll their turds into little balls

Those who read these words of wit

Eat those little balls of shit

“You wouldn’t download a car, would you?”

“Nah, I’m too busy downloading cum.”

Not sure if stupid is the word I’d use, but we tend not to pick up on subtlety very well.

Paraphrasing from memory a comment I saw in a similar thread on a different site:

• What’s subtle to you is entirely invisible to him
• What’s obvious to you is still mostly invisible to him
• What’s embarrassingly obvious to you is just starting to become subtle and therefore potentially noticeable to him

We don’t have nearly as much practice on picking up subtlety, and many of us are well aware of the potential blowback of perceiving interest and acting on it (“ew gross i’m just being nice you creep”).

We aren’t mind readers. Frankly, if I was a mindreader, I wouldn’t be hanging out on Lemmy. I’d be hanging out in the casino at the poker tables.