Don't threaten me with a good time.

Someone should fire this guy. Out of a cannon. Into the sun.

Better place to ask: https://lemmy.world/c/mentalhealth.

This sounds like depression. I think you should get an eval from a mental health professional.

Back when I worked at Burger King in high school, there was me and a stoner running the late shift. I'm running the drive through and the guy wants a Whopper, plain but heavy, heavy, heavy, [...], heavy, heavy pickles. I push the "heavy pickles" button about 7 times. He probably said it 15-20. The stoner starts giggling and says "I'LL GIVE THIS FUCKER JUST WHAT HE ASKED FOR." He proceeds to put, easily, 100 pickle slices on the sandwich. At this point it's a pickle burger with a little meat. It goes out the window and we go about our day.

Manager gets a call about 15 minutes later. Guy calls in and asks to talk to the person who made his sandwich. Manager says "sigh, what did he do this time?" Guy says he's been eating at Burger King for 15 years and this was the first person to make his Whopper the way he wanted.

He prefers a woman who is "damaged" because he thinks she'll put up with being treated like a broodmare.

I'm O- so I give two units of red cells and get saline and the plasma/antibodies back. The guy at the donation site says "make sure you don't drink any alcoholic beverages for 24 hours...but you can have one if you want." He looks back to see if his manager is around and then whispers "you can have two but don't leave the house."

Fry: Sorry, I'm not here to buy.

Car Dealer: I understand, and it's wonderful that you don't care whether anyone questions your sexual orientation.

Fry: I care! I care plenty! But I just don't know how to make them stop!

Car Dealer: One word: Thundercougarfalconbird.

This is top level enshittification. You're showing the user an ad that is, as OP says, the opposite of what they want, and then charging Truth Social for the impression. Magnificent!

He had his eye on a really nice couch in the lobby.

These people should have their children taken away from them.

Ahh Bill Maher is not a liberal comedian. He's really not either of these things.

The concept of rewatching a movie is almost foreign to me now given that I have access to a library of tens of thousands of movies. It would have to be very good and something that whoever I'm with hasn't seen.

Of course I used to watch the same movie about every month or so back when I was growing up in the 90s.

I heard tell from a Gen Xer who said cable TV used to not have ads.

He doesn't think Palestinian children are innocent by reason of their religion.

Yeah I think Arch is fine, but I'd never recommend it to a new Linux user.

We feel shame at being naked because people have told us to be ashamed of certain areas of our body. It's completely learned. Very young children run around without clothes on with no shame because they haven't learned it yet.

I was kinda shocked that they:

• got it out so quickly
• went that hard

Mel Gibson.

Every year is an amazing year for rich people.

The thing about Seinfeld and other comedians who aren't as popular anymore is that they blame the audience for not liking their material. Tastes change over time. The comedian either needs to change their act or live with the consequences that people aren't going to like their material as much.

Rodney Dangerfield was a great comic for his time. If someone tried to tell the same jokes today, I don't think he'd get very far. That's not the fault of the audience. It's the fault of the comedian. No one owes you a laugh.