Tell me you're young without telling me you're young.

Paper towels, for most of my life (I'm old AF), were as long as they were wide. Square, they were. Bounty originated select-a-size by perforating them twice as frequently, so they were half as long as wide. Others eventually followed suit and now youngsters think that's how it's always been.

Speaking as a 57 year old, it seems odd that they're both having cognitive problems. As you might guess, most of my friends are around my age and literally zero of them are in any kind of decline like that.

Out of curiosity, do your parents have a carbon monoxide monitor in their home? IANAD but it's my understanding that long term, low level CO poisoning can lead to symptoms like you're describing.

AFAIK ex-presidents aren’t allowed to leave the country without specific permission, due to all the classified crap in their heads. If one tried to flee the country, it would be their detail’s duty to detain them.

Heck, they’re not even allowed to drive in public roads… not that Trump has probably ever driven a car.

This is why I give things away to friends and friends of friends. If they ask to borrow something that I'm happy to get rid of, I tell them they can borrow it on the condition that they never bring it back or even mention it to me again.

Incelephant

alternate headline: "UBlock Origin Lite - Crippled adblocker for a google-dominated internet."

do what u/Buffalox said, stop using chrome and chromium-based browsers.

Wow, a whole $1 million. They’ll notice that for like seven seconds.

As stated right there on the label, some of the NaCl has been replaced with taster’s choice KCl. So it was never pure sodium to begin with, due to all that pesky chlorine and now about half of the Na has been replaced with Potassium.

My solution to the problem was to preemptively lose all my hair in my thirties but yours probably works too.

Thus raising the average IQ of both countries.

I highly recommend switching to a 3rd party app for passwords, payment info, etc. I know Bitwarden is a trusted app with a free tier that can import from chrome.

It’s more secure than chrome or Firefox “vaults” and it’s backed up online and synced between devices automatically. It also doesn’t tie you to one browser. There are apps for iOS, android, windows, macOS, and Linux plus plugins for all major browsers.

Inmate number is most appropriate

I downvoted it because it’s not funny. It’s real, valuable information. It’s not the kind of thing that belongs in c/nottheonion because there’s nothing odd or funny about it.

When it comes to refried beans, “too many” or “too much” are both incorrect. The correct construction is “may I have some more please?”

Honestly, for running jellyfin/emby/plex, there's nothing better. The only thing an update might get you would be higher refresh rates or maybe 8k support, but for watching video, who cares?

Once I disabled the built-in "leanback" launcher with its fucking toxic ads and replaced it with flauncher, it's been essentially perfect for watching media. flauncher is fugly as hell but it stays out of my face, unlike google's ad-focused launcher.

All VPs are basically picked because of what they are more than who they are. Since there aren’t a lot of actual duties assigned by the constitution, VPs are just picked to help win the election. That means their age, gender, skin color, birthplace, etc are more important than their achievements. That means almost all VPs, including Vance, are “DEI hires.”

They’re building their own drones, and they’re pretty good. They just need money for parts at this point.

I would bet this tracks fairly closely to percentage of pickup truck owners

You kids with your fancy “tapes!” In my day we had to watch whatever the hell was on the three or four channels we could pick up with the rabbit ears, and we were damn glad to have it!

Once a year they’d show a Bond movie or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or maybe even that Willie Wonka movie. Such an event!

VCRs didn’t exist until I was a young adult. Doggone spoiled kids!

There are a lot of people who think, largely due to misinformed cooking shows, that you shouldn't wash mushrooms, just wipe them off.

If you want them washed, maybe say "Hey, I can help out by washing those for you."