Spyke

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asexual

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I am looking for advice.

For what it's worth, if you think your partner is neurodivergent, there are potential things there that can drastically affect how he feels sexual attraction. Maybe he's ace or somewhere on that spectrum, but given that he seems eager under other circumstances, I'd say it seems more likely that a combination of anxiety and neurodivergence (especially ADHD) can result in the behavior you're seeing. This article mentions that sexual aversion is over 10 times more common in people with ADHD.

The other tricky part is that sex can be an incredibly anxiety-inducing subject, which might just make him shut down when trying to talk about it. Instead, I'd gently try to talk to him about neurodivergence and see how he responds. If he can talk to a good professional about it, that would likely be a great place for him to start figuring out some of this stuff, and deal with his anxiety (and whatever other feelings are bundled up in this) in a healthy way that will allow the two of you to communicate.

If he's averse to therapy and thinks he must be "broken" to seek a therapist, try to encourage him--seeing a therapist is more like having a personal trainer than seeing a surgeon. A therapist talks in terms of goals and growth.