Unironically I'm all for this. So long as you're not harming others, please do work through your stuff with whatever weirdness you want.

Communication. Communication. Communication. Don't try to strategize. Don't try to manipulate the situation to your desired end. And most of all, do NOT "should" him. He is under no obligation to meet your needs or figure them out for himself, and same goes for you. It's just a question of if he is naturally inclined to meet your needs and act according to your values after you clearly communicate them to him. If he is not inclined, then it's up to you to decide how far you're willing to level with him or if you would be better off pursuing a relationship with someone else.

Learn to distinguish your subjective STORIES from what you are actually feeling. For example "I feel like you don't love me" is NOT a feeling. Putting "I feel" in front of some statement does not magically make it valid. "I'm scared this relationship might not last", also not a feeling. Any sentence starting with a "You..." is a story. More truthful: "when you don't message me in X amount of time, I feel insecure, and I start to worry about the future of the relationship". Now you're just speaking candidly, honestly, saying what is actually happening. You're not putting blame on him, just acknowledging something that hopefully everyone can agree is happening (he's not messaging you), and saying what the impact is on you emotionally, and what kind of thoughts it triggers in you. He's following some girls on social media? Can everyone agree that's happening? Okay, how does that make you feel AND, distinct from those feelings, what does it make you think? Please also flip it to positive "when you give me flowers, I feel love and I think this relationship is going well." Clear, straight-forward communication without shoulding. You can also do it on something that hasn't even happened "I'd love to go on a vacation together some day, if we work together for that goal, I believe I'd feel secure, and I'd believe you love me" (you're young and still learning your likes and dislikes, so please be aware that sometimes some ideas don't turn out as great as you hoped, and that's okay). Feel free to try to find a way to make the conversation more natural but stick to the same logic.

You may want to look into this: https://pastebin.com/ZHhS044M

And especially this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication

Here's the money shot: https://youtu.be/LZ259Jx8MQY?t=1240

I wish they had used a better mic but that was like giving my soul a really good scratch.

I love these pages. I miss the early 2000 internet.

Weird only to a mind that's used to being constantly bombarded with low quality entertainment, lulled into comfortable numbness with mostly unnecessary material goods. While this is overly extreme (and potentially hazardous... though that being 4chan it's probably exaggerated, if even true), most people would do well to take periods of disconnecting entirely and have minimal entertainment available. Zen Buddhist retreats are great by my experience. Yoga Retreats are nice but you need to weed out the ones that are really just masturbatory Wellness holidays for rich white women. Vipassana retreats are probably good too tho I personally haven't been to one of those. But just starting meditation would be great. https://www.wakingup.com/ is a low bar access point with guided meditations but also a lot of great philosophical discussions from several different branches of thought (notably Stoicism and Buddhism but others too). And you can get it for free (request scholarship) if the price seems steep.

Protein Barius

I'm against it because of the questionable ways AI gets trained (stealing art or books for example) and also because of the environmental impacts.

With the unethical training habits and energy consumption from megacorps, in addition to just being brain-killing slop, AI generated content should have no place in social media. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sorcerer%27s_Apprentice

Yeah, Unilever isn't much greater either. In general trying to go for local, smaller brands would be good IF you can afford it. Of course a lot of people have to go by what is cheapest and most available and that's their right. But now if ever, if someone is resourced enough, it would be good to spend some time on at least taking a look at the brands they have available in their regular grocery stores and try to make responsible choices.

(As someone who has been doing this for a long time, and is low income, it's a bit of an unrewarding pain in the ass but at least I don't have that nagging feeling at the back of my head as much)

Thankfully it seems like EU is at least trying to be stricter about conscious consumer labels etc, limiting green-washing and all that. That makes life a bit easier for those who very understandably don't have tons of time and energy to research every purchase.

Ah, I didn't see this post.

https://bsky.app/profile/saelliott.bsky.social/post/3ljxf6ou6l22a btw for the post on Bsky.

That's fucking great news. If there ever was a time I wish Finland copied something from Sweden, this is it.

I don't generally like it but this one was kinda good. Good flipped logic.

Just had a chat with a gamer friend who was ditching Windows for good and switching to https://bazzite.gg/. I'll probably do so as well. Apparently I've been needlessly scared of Linux and I had missed that SteamDeck encourages devs to make games work for Linux.

Understandable tbh, they clearly don't have a lot of intelligence to share.

It doesn't really feel any better once you know that it's an empty pleasantry they don't really care to have an answer to.

If Fairphone doesn't faceplant by then, it'll be my next phone in a few years.

Real cork caps? You damn bet that I'll keep those bad boys.

Based on 3rd hand accounts, he’s been steadily losing weight for years and while it was hard to find recent photos at a cursory glance, there are a few where he is noticably skinnier (also the article does mention he looks fitter in a conference call)

Damn. I wanted it to be real.

Individual level, educate yourself and learn compassion:

https://youarenotsosmart.com/2022/06/27/yanss-236-how-minds-change/

https://www.cnvc.org/

https://www.streetepistemology.com/

https://pastebin.com/ZHhS044M

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Read_a_Book because we have a lot of people who really think they know more about things than they do, based purely on social media posts and sensationalized news. "bAn ALl ReLIGIOnS" is such a highschool tier take that speaks to incredibly poor understanding of human culture, society, philosophy and psychology. Religion is just organized and political spirituality. And we need things that spirituality can offer, and materialism (capitalism) has nearly robbed us of it. And spiritual does NOT have to fucking mean believing in some skydaddy, it can just mean being able to STOP and be with all of life, as it is, within any given moment. You can frame it with the awe of quantum fucking mechanics if you want. Go watch Carl Sagan at the very least. Christianity had one fucking job and they couldn't have failed more catastrophically... But I digress... Though understanding the difference between RELIGION and SPIRITUALITY (and what NEEDS spirituality fulfills) would go a long way in guarding against cults.

A lot of the time dealing with cults or cult-like communities requires you to do things that go against your every impulse.

Respect your own boundaries but keep a door open provided your boundaries are respected.

Do not belittle the people in the cult. Do not demonize. I CANNOT emphasize that part enough. If you can't stop yourself, you best avoid these situations because you will only make it worse.

Actively seek to understand what the person is getting out of the cult (usually it's basic social acceptance - which is exactly why vilifying cult members only works in the cult's favor - see MAGA). If they believe they are getting some spiritual need fulfilled, you better have really good understanding of what that need is before you try to talk about it. Read the relevant philosophy and so on. There are no ideas in the world that can't be twisted into a cult rhetoric.

Cults chiefly work by predating on people who feel like they aren't HEARD or SEEN by others. Their experiences are dismissed or straight up ridiculed. This seems to be an impossible pill for some people to swallow and they seem to legitimately think that calling people idiots will surely make them feel bad and get back in the route of sanity Spoilers: it just makes them run right into the welcoming arms of the cult's spokespeople who shower them with (seemingly) unconditional love and validation.

Once the cult is their only social circle, it's basically impossible to extract them. Unless you are willing to see them COMPASSIONATELY as basic humans whose behavior is ultimately dictated by very basic needs for human connection, you will have no hope of reaching them.

Most people make the mistake of thinking that if they can just communicate some very smart and clever narrative to the people in the cult, they will be able to change their minds. But what that tends to accomplish is that you just put the person on the defensive. It's actually even worse if you manage to get through to their intellectual faculty because then you have effectively demolished some faith-based thing that they have but you are offering nothing in return. Instead all they have now is feeling like they are an idiot and YOU know it. But they can still run back to the cult and stick around on principle. So all you did was make them dig their heels in, because now they KNOW all the rest of the world is able to prove that they are stupid and nobody wants to feel that. Basically in the cult they will have all their social contacts, support network, possibly even their financial security. Few people are going to choose feeling stupid, alone and destitute over that.

Unfortunately most people will jump at the chance to tell another person that their beliefs are stupid. And even more so they will jump at the chance to tell another person that they are morally inferior.

Look into Non-violent Communication https://www.cnvc.org/

And also this https://pastebin.com/ZHhS044M

Both require very, very stern honesty with oneself and understanding the difference between FEELINGS and NARRATIVES about feelings. You both need to commit to this, and NOT police each other - when one of you sees the other fail, it's on them to translate, not to guilt trip.

(and yes, learning this will initially lead to very stiff and awkward speech, you'll get over it)