Ladies, divorce your Republican husband while you still can.

I live in a humid climate (especially in the summer), and if we don't refrigerate our bread and tortillas, or any baked goods, they get moldy in like 4 days.

Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they're issuing out bed linens. We're all thrilled because we're getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because "they have flowers on them", then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.

He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.

We had access to a BK at one of the FOBs I frequented in Iraq and although I've never been a huge fast food fan, that stuff was so good. It's a huge morale booster. I'm sure that sounds simplistic as fuck, but you really come to appreciate the little things when you're deployed.

Meanwhile, and I note this as a veteran of the Iraq war myself, 28.5% of mass shooters had a military background, but they're not coming after veterans for THEIR guns.

Blue line American Flag sticker/apparel, especially if it's set inside the Punisher logo.

This is what happens when you get two "LOOK AT MEEEE!" people on one stage at the same time

It's because the coffee makes you shit the cancer right out

It's awesome. Sure, I have moments in life that suck regardless, but in those moments I always think to myself "Wow, this would be even worse if I had kids."

I never thought I would mind changing my last name when getting married until it actually happened, and I was surprisingly emotional about it. It felt like I was erasing my identity or something, a totally unexpected feeling that came out of nowhere. It was also weird to have to change my signature after having it for so many years.

We ended up getting divorced 7 years later and I reclaimed my maiden name, and needless to say, if I ever get married again, I will not be changing my last name. It was also a nightmare of paperwork to change it (both to get married and divorced), and I don't want to do that yet again.

My cursive looks like a 10yr old wrote it, which is about the last time I actually wrote in cursive

I love my kids so much I chose not to bring them into this fucked up world.

This is really fucking weird

Calling yourself "Alpha". If you have to say it out loud, you are definitely not the Alpha.

I'd go back to February of 2016, to a town in California, at the banks of the river that my friend decided he wanted to "take a swim" in, and try to stop him. I'd bring with me copies of all the news articles reporting about how he drowned in that river and that someone found his body and called the authorities. I'd show him a copy of my text messages back and forth with his sister when she told me what happened to him. She claimed that he went swimming in the river often and that he was unaware that the current that day was really strong. I wanted to believe her, but I knew he was troubled, that he ad psychosis and PTSD, and that he didn't want to live past 40. And who the fuck swims in a river in February!? I would do my best to try and save his life.

This is what JD Vance wants for America

I couldn't date a cop

Will Smith has been having a Kanye-esq descent into madness for several years now, so this comes as no surprise.

Edited to fix spelling error.

I'M JACKED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW I'LL COME AT YOU LIKE A SPIDER MONKEY OLD MAN

Surprise surprise. Remember when this bullshit first kicked off and they were like "Oh yeah, we'll totally let them back in once the fighting stops"? Yeah, that was never the plan.