Spyke

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196

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anxiety rules

Unfortunately work me will say whatever my coworker needs to hear to get quick, accurate replies, save anything prejudice or cruel. Did my agnostic ass happily discuss dyeing Easter eggs with an old white dude who Teamsed me "happy Easter if that's even acceptable anymore"? Praise your white American Jesus you know I did.

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But it'll all be fine, I'm sure it'll blow over and never affect me

YES THIS! I've been saying over and over since 2016 - I read almost exclusively dystopic sci-fi and many books have a point where the reader thinks "run this is getting too bad it is the time to go". I'm thinking specifically when June has no money in her bank account (yes it's a tinge too late even then). So I've been trying to figure out when that point in our story will be and last year decided it is id Trump is elected again. We are a lost country and evil has won at that point.

memes

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you don't need to do. just be

I feel like the caption doesn't summarize the spirit of the quote. The indigenous folks cooked, told stories, made art, danced, fell in love, made enemies, had sports, and formed various unique cultures. There's a lot of "doing" in a that. For me this reads as you don't need to grind to make other people wealthy and collect a lot of plastic bullshit that Instagram convinced you was necessary for happiness. But like we're all slowly, collectively realizing this right?

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My wife and I just came home from vacation, and after 4½ years of avoiding it, we have COVID.

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After my ability to smell and taste were completely gone for 2 months I got bummed out enough to try smell training. I didn't buy the expensive kits, but did find strongly scented aromatherapy wax sticks that I sniff every day. If nothing else, going from "these all smell like nothing" to "oh that IS lemongrass or ginger" definitely brightened my mood. It's been 6 months now and I still can't taste tomato or smell lavender, but can now easily detect things like nail polish remover and eucalyptus oil. It's weird to take a strong whiff of rubbing alcohol and not notice a single thing. Good luck!

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Fear

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I had a clear childhood memory of when gravity temporarily vanished and we all had to duck and cover under our desks. Years later I learned how gravity worked. A few years after that I realized my memory was impossible though it felt very real. This may be the root of my trust issues...

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sneeze rule

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It feels very good, like physically itches the inside back of my throat (amazing if you're having an allergic response to something), while being deeply psychologically satisfying to yell from your abdomen. I try to only do it at home, but there's a reason some people scream-sneeze.

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What looks easy peasy lemon squeezy but is actually difficult difficult lemon difficult?

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I'm really struggling with this right now. I've joined to some new interest groups, but everyone including myself, seems so guarded, every time I leave feeling like I've failed a barrage of social aptitude tests. I feel like so many adults have baggage that by 40 they're spring loaded to overreact and overthink, they come across as unapproachable. Or maybe I'm awful, which is what keeps kicking around in my head.