For a "fun" pitchfork, right after I sharpened it, I had it gold plated just for this occasion.

I heard a pitchfork is good for ONE vote but you have to deliver it yourself.

That negates the entire biblical story too.

What to say after you fart in a crowd (or elevator).

“Take that!”

“What do you say?” like prompting a child to say thank you.

"That'll be five bucks, you pervert"

“Not a bad sound out of a half inch speaker”

“Did you hear that spider bark?"

“Someone step on a duck?”

"That duck's got bad breath"

Forest Area Reticulated Tree Spiders (FARTS)

“A bit more choke and that engine will start”

“Did you hear what that asshole just said?”

“There’s someone behind me talking shit!”

“Keep shouting Sir, we'll find you”

"So sayeth the King"

“I shouldn't have trusted that one”

"I don't remember eating that."

“That’s gonna itch when it dries”

''Two sniffs of that would be greedy''

“The the horns working, now try the lights”

“Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk”

“The Rear Admiral has spoken”

(Just before you fart) “Alexa, play something by Ed Sheeran”

 “Don’t worry, (name), I’ll tell them it was me!”

“You’ve/I’ve got a turd honking for the right of way.”

“Ahh, the ghost of dinners past”

“You got that one for free, next one you will have to pull my finger”

"As foretold by The Prophecy."

“Now your turn”

The toothless one speaks !

“Sounds much better after my tune up”

“Aaaand...scene!”

“That was supposed to be a song but came out of the wrong end”

“Message from turd castle”

“Glad I'm not in my Space Suit”

“Damn! I was saving that for the elevator”

“An empty house is better than a bad tenant”

“Guess what I had for my last meal”

“This haaause is noww cleeeean”

“carpet frogs”

“Now that I have your attention, we will have a moment of silence for all those that have died in elevator accidents”

I saw a conspiracy theory that said we used to live on Mars but we polluted it so much that, to survive, we had to send a rocket with two children to the next planet, called Earth. Then everyone died.

The children's names were Adam and Eve.

Mine was shorter.

Thanks!

I will support ANY politician that doesn't want to KILL.

In short, isn't THAT the job? Prevent death.

Don't ask what a data center can do for you, ask what YOU can do for a data center

You can't fight lawlessness in your government by following the laws of your government.

As soon a s the Stock Market goes DOWN enough to buy cheap then the strait will open so they can sell those stocks they bought.

Buy low, sell high. There is no other way to do it.

SPEAK LOUDER, I CAN'T HEAR YOU

Should we just start believing him?

He's got an honest face.

Charlie WHO?

When Trump opens his mouth, you can SEE Putin's hand.

Trump literally just doesn’t know what a reflecting pool is.

He KNOWS it's taller than a skyscraper if you stand it on end.

The universe finding it's ballance.

So...he has something USELESS and he wants everybody to FIND a use for it before HE goes broke?

I'll get right on it.

Marjorie Taylor Green has been hated by the Left for YEARS and never feared for her life.

She was hated by the Right for two DAYS and had to hire security.

Dollar Tree donates 89% to the Republican party and 11% to the Democratic party.

https://www.goodsuniteus.com/

Don't give ANY business ANY money if they are supporting our current dictator. Hit 'em where it hurts.

If America saw what America was doing to America, then America would invade America to liberate America.