Artemis II astronauts going around the Moon: "I have two Outlooks, neither of which works"
Astronauts during the first Mars mission: "I previously had two Teams versions, neither of which worked, and now there's apparently a third one, and it doesn't work either"
Imagine finding a log with something like "we couldn't stop shareholders, our planet is doomed. We will start with a new colony on the planet closer to sun, perhaps this time we will not destroy our home"
There is a novel "Microserfs" many years back and in it if I recall all the guys at MS drove Ford Taurus because at some point Gates drove one. So all the little serfs wanted to be like him.
Don't give him what he says his life goal is (die on Mars). It would be way more terrific if he died in a supercar crash (like the one he had in 2000 with Peter Thiel as passenger in a $1M McLaren F1, the fastest production car back then).
Probably missed calls. It'll keep showing a notification bubble in both activity and calls until you bother clicking the missed call as if that makes any difference or sense to anyone or anything but the notification counter.
Yeah, those don't work well with Outlook. I get an e-mail from Microsoft telling me to login to the web version only to see that someone put a 👍 on my e-mail. It completely defies the purpose.
Microsoft really knows how to keep office workers occupied doing nothing at all.
I have to use Teams for work and it baffles me how unbelievably bad the interface is. Everything that should be easy and quick to do is made difficult and time consuming. Every time you try to do something simple you'd expect to be able to, it is blocked or limited in such a way that you can't do it and you have to find a workaround. It fights you in every way it can whenever you're trying to accomplish something. You also have to sign in with two factor authentication multiple times every day. I don't understand how this so-called "productivity" suite is even tolerated by private companies. It cripples productivity.
Not in my experience. I sign into lots of different systems every day and run Teams on all of them, and I never see any MFA prompts so long as I’m on a managed asset. Every system logs in to Teams automatically just by opening the Teams app.
Now, if you’re talking about a pinned app or SharePoint link or something once you’re in the app, maybe. But default chat and meetings should be the same experience, in terms of authentication workflow for the user, as launching and using Outlook.
Your IT has set up Conditional Access policies with a Sign-in Frequency set too low (it should really be labeled as a period, because it defines the time period that will occur before reauthentication is required). For regular users like all of you, forcing reauthentication that many times each day is excessive and just cruel on the users. They maybe thought it would make them super secure, but it only trains the users that MFA is an annoyance rather than an important security feature.
It’s a setting that can easily be changed, so make some noise and see if you can get some feedback passed through your org structure to IT.
I don't think I've ever had to sign into Teams (PR Outlook, for that matter) in my desktop. Mobile, I have to after changing my password. I assumed all the MS apps signed me in with my domain login on my laptop. On weird issue I have is things like SharePoint and Dynamics 365 asking me to sign in again after its already brought up the site, and clicking the button to do it just brings a blank pop-up that immediately disappears and I'm logged "for real" I guess.
I've worked at different places that used Teams, and that thing with having to re- login regularly is certainly fault of whoever administers Teams within your organization.
Yep. I sign in once when the app is opened (which happens automatically as I’m logged into the computer as my Entra ID) and then am never prompted again until I close and reopen Teams.
Something is misconfigured in the environment, or there is a security policy that is set way too high, or one is scoped incorrectly. It is definitely not the normal or expected user experience.
Teams has a lot of faults, but that one is on your org’s admins and security team. Hopefully for you it’s a mistake and not done intentionally.
There are no Teams servers on Mars and the client will time out before radio signals can reach Earth. So any copies of Microsoft Teams on Mars are just a waste of storage space, and not very terrifying compared to "actual" malware that could be in the same storage space.
Not exactly. It time out for different reasons. On earth it times out trying to authorise thru ActiveDirectory, which will never succeed because your company uses AD and not Teams, but Teams is too stupid to realise that it should use another auth method, just because it sees AD on the system.
Or maybe you believe in the Great Filter hypothesis, and signs of life discovered on Mars implies that this filter may be ahead of humanity rather than behind it
The most impactful moment of our history: explorers on Mars discovered the remains of an ancient spacefaring civilization. In the decades that followed, these mysterious artifacts revealed startling new technologies, enabling travel to the furthest stars. The basis for this incredible technology was a force that controlled the very fabric of space and time. They called it the greatest discovery in human history. The civilizations of the galaxy call it
I saw a conspiracy theory that said we used to live on Mars but we polluted it so much that, to survive, we had to send a rocket with two children to the next planet, called Earth. Then everyone died.
thats stupid in so many ways. nevermind the mountain of evidence that we evolved on this planet, two people cannot found a stable population. their children would be fine, but after that they're speed running inbreeding. it would only take a few generations for all kinds of genetic problems to start coming up and they would only get worse.
Static crackles in the astronaut’s helmet as he makes his way onto the red soil. A message pops up on his display. “Hey, got a sec for a quick teams call?”
It would means we have already contaminate this environment and we won't be able to tell if any discovered life form came from mars or from contamination.
Here's a fun one. We find an archive. Stored in a form durable enough to last eternity, we find a vault, the last remnant of some long-forgotten Martian civilization.
They include the usual history, culture, historical artifacts, etc. But what shocks our explorers most of all? The biological archive. DNA sequences, freeze dried tissue samples, etc. Their language, once cracked, reveals the truth.
This isn't just a library or archive to remember the Martians. They knew they were on a slowly dying world. They never got rocket technology, though they did master advanced biology before the end. So they included everything needed to revive them, to actually bring them back from the dead.
Then we have to figure out what to do. This isn't the dodo bird or some other species we, humanity, are responsible for killing off. The Martians died of natural causes a billion years before our ancestors crawled out of the water. We have no ancestral moral debt to the Martians.
Sure, we could bring them back. But think through the implications of that. Mars is their world, the very planet we were planning to colonize. Will they want it back, maybe ask to live on Earth in the millennia it takes to teraform it? And even then, we'll now have a literal alien civilian right on our doorstep. Do we really want to open that Pandora's Box?
I was introduced to the concept of the moral dilemma of bringing back extinct aliens from Isaac Arthur, and it's a scenario I truly love.
Mars is doing the me gusta meme face.
Artemis II astronauts going around the Moon: "I have two Outlooks, neither of which works"
Astronauts during the first Mars mission: "I previously had two Teams versions, neither of which worked, and now there's apparently a third one, and it doesn't work either"
"Houston, what is 'New Teams Classic' and why is it asking me to log in three times in a row?"
Imagine finding a log with something like "we couldn't stop shareholders, our planet is doomed. We will start with a new colony on the planet closer to sun, perhaps this time we will not destroy our home"
I had the same thought. Evidence of a long extinct and clearly human civilization.
Agile
wtf even downvotes do you work in microsoft or what? or do we have "anything big tech is good" bots here
Bro is outraged because of 6 downvotes out of 702 total votes 💀
6 is too many.
I'd believe there are six people in management here who see Teams as a "good solution"
If someone keeps pressing the button then it will fluctuate between 6 and 7 downvotes
To be honest, we're talking microsoft teams here.
There is a novel "Microserfs" many years back and in it if I recall all the guys at MS drove Ford Taurus because at some point Gates drove one. So all the little serfs wanted to be like him.
You need to update teams to join this meeting that starts in 1 minute.
Oh no, I can't join the meeting, Teams is broken again
I have two Outlooks and neither of them are working
Ticket closed. Feature not a bug.
I understood that reference
Elon Musks bones.
No, wait, you said terrifying, not terrific. never mind.
Don't give him what he says his life goal is (die on Mars). It would be way more terrific if he died in a supercar crash (like the one he had in 2000 with Peter Thiel as passenger in a $1M McLaren F1, the fastest production car back then).
God, if only we.could have been so lucky. Imagine how the last 26 years would've been with them dead.
At least he temporarily lost some money and pride by wrecking his stupid uninsured penis compensator.
I now know to which moment in time i go back to adjust the outcome, if the opportunity arises.
What if whatever killed him and is wearing his skin is just as evil and stupid, but is not a junky.
Just started at a place that uses teams. The window always says I have two unread messages. I don't.
If you go to notifications and filter by unread you will probably be able to find what it is
Probably missed calls. It'll keep showing a notification bubble in both activity and calls until you bother clicking the missed call as if that makes any difference or sense to anyone or anything but the notification counter.
Or theyre reactions to a message
Or calendar invites
Yeah, those don't work well with Outlook. I get an e-mail from Microsoft telling me to login to the web version only to see that someone put a 👍 on my e-mail. It completely defies the purpose.
Microsoft really knows how to keep office workers occupied doing nothing at all.
I have to use Teams for work and it baffles me how unbelievably bad the interface is. Everything that should be easy and quick to do is made difficult and time consuming. Every time you try to do something simple you'd expect to be able to, it is blocked or limited in such a way that you can't do it and you have to find a workaround. It fights you in every way it can whenever you're trying to accomplish something. You also have to sign in with two factor authentication multiple times every day. I don't understand how this so-called "productivity" suite is even tolerated by private companies. It cripples productivity.
While I agree the UI needs some work, getting prompted for MFA multiple times a day for just using Teams chat and meetings is not normal.
You can get multiple sign in requests if you change devices regularly. It's common to require authentication any time you change device
Not in my experience. I sign into lots of different systems every day and run Teams on all of them, and I never see any MFA prompts so long as I’m on a managed asset. Every system logs in to Teams automatically just by opening the Teams app.
Now, if you’re talking about a pinned app or SharePoint link or something once you’re in the app, maybe. But default chat and meetings should be the same experience, in terms of authentication workflow for the user, as launching and using Outlook.
It's not? Everyone at my company has the same experience.
Your IT has set up Conditional Access policies with a Sign-in Frequency set too low (it should really be labeled as a period, because it defines the time period that will occur before reauthentication is required). For regular users like all of you, forcing reauthentication that many times each day is excessive and just cruel on the users. They maybe thought it would make them super secure, but it only trains the users that MFA is an annoyance rather than an important security feature.
It’s a setting that can easily be changed, so make some noise and see if you can get some feedback passed through your org structure to IT.
I don't think I've ever had to sign into Teams (PR Outlook, for that matter) in my desktop. Mobile, I have to after changing my password. I assumed all the MS apps signed me in with my domain login on my laptop. On weird issue I have is things like SharePoint and Dynamics 365 asking me to sign in again after its already brought up the site, and clicking the button to do it just brings a blank pop-up that immediately disappears and I'm logged "for real" I guess.
Yeah that’s usually the case, but some orgs don’t domain join devices cause they are bad.
Also the dynamics blank popup thing is your windows auth working
I've worked at different places that used Teams, and that thing with having to re- login regularly is certainly fault of whoever administers Teams within your organization.
Agreed. Sounds like a config problem if the whole org is seeing it.
Yep. I sign in once when the app is opened (which happens automatically as I’m logged into the computer as my Entra ID) and then am never prompted again until I close and reopen Teams.
Something is misconfigured in the environment, or there is a security policy that is set way too high, or one is scoped incorrectly. It is definitely not the normal or expected user experience.
Teams has a lot of faults, but that one is on your org’s admins and security team. Hopefully for you it’s a mistake and not done intentionally.
what is supposed to be and what is are often two different things.
Sir, this is a Wendy's?
"Didn't you see my post in the channel?"
"Sweety, I don't know wtf is going on in this cluster fuck. Be thankful I even replied"
I can sometimes hear Teams notification sound from neighbour's apartment, triggers me to check my phone almost every time.
They added the teams call sound as a horn to forza horizon 6, I made a few people tab out of the game with it lol
Amazing
Enabling sound notifs for teams is pathological self hating behavior
"No Trespassing" signs, written in Goa'uld.
Honestly, anything written that we could understand without deciphering would raise a couple of terrifying questions:
Who / What wrote this?
Do they know our language or do we know theirs?
KREE
Woodland, swamp or plains?
There are no Teams servers on Mars and the client will time out before radio signals can reach Earth. So any copies of Microsoft Teams on Mars are just a waste of storage space, and not very terrifying compared to "actual" malware that could be in the same storage space.
So exactly how it works on Earth?
Not exactly. It time out for different reasons. On earth it times out trying to authorise thru ActiveDirectory, which will never succeed because your company uses AD and not Teams, but Teams is too stupid to realise that it should use another auth method, just because it sees AD on the system.
At least you have an undeniable excuse why you can't take calls and take 15-30 minutes to respond to texts.
twist: Microsoft already built data centers and servers on Mars.
Or maybe you believe in the Great Filter hypothesis, and signs of life discovered on Mars implies that this filter may be ahead of humanity rather than behind it
The most impactful moment of our history: explorers on Mars discovered the remains of an ancient spacefaring civilization. In the decades that followed, these mysterious artifacts revealed startling new technologies, enabling travel to the furthest stars. The basis for this incredible technology was a force that controlled the very fabric of space and time. They called it the greatest discovery in human history. The civilizations of the galaxy call it
If there was intelligent life on Mars in past there would presumably be lasting signs that we could discover.
Who knows what signs we might find in ice cores from the Martian South Pole.
Finding signs of technological development on Venus on the other hand would be interesting...
Even if this were the case though, life on Mars (or anywhere outside of Earth) would be a really cool discovery!
I saw a conspiracy theory that said we used to live on Mars but we polluted it so much that, to survive, we had to send a rocket with two children to the next planet, called Earth. Then everyone died.
The children's names were Adam and Eve.
thats stupid in so many ways. nevermind the mountain of evidence that we evolved on this planet, two people cannot found a stable population. their children would be fine, but after that they're speed running inbreeding. it would only take a few generations for all kinds of genetic problems to start coming up and they would only get worse.
That negates the entire biblical story too.
Indeed it does. But it's not like people actually believe creation myths anyway >.>
Every time I hear someone ask to help out with Teams, it sounds to me like "Can you help me shove my fist further up my ass" ... Yes eeeh sure . . .
That Tesla Melon Husk dumped in the space.
With Elons body in the space suit. The Elon that remained on earth is something... Else.
What left for us is a Felon.
Presumably it’s mostly topological horror.
Getting trapped in caves, falling off cliffs, collapsing ground, tentacle pits
Elon Musk.
Static crackles in the astronaut’s helmet as he makes his way onto the red soil. A message pops up on his display. “Hey, got a sec for a quick teams call?”
Single women in your area
Bugs or organisme from earth.
It would means we have already contaminate this environment and we won't be able to tell if any discovered life form came from mars or from contamination.
I thought we knew we already did that with the rover.
They took a lot of care to sanitise all of the landers and rovers
Lol
the mars movie tropes, always find some secret alien life or advanced structure on the planet.
Here's a fun one. We find an archive. Stored in a form durable enough to last eternity, we find a vault, the last remnant of some long-forgotten Martian civilization.
They include the usual history, culture, historical artifacts, etc. But what shocks our explorers most of all? The biological archive. DNA sequences, freeze dried tissue samples, etc. Their language, once cracked, reveals the truth.
This isn't just a library or archive to remember the Martians. They knew they were on a slowly dying world. They never got rocket technology, though they did master advanced biology before the end. So they included everything needed to revive them, to actually bring them back from the dead.
Then we have to figure out what to do. This isn't the dodo bird or some other species we, humanity, are responsible for killing off. The Martians died of natural causes a billion years before our ancestors crawled out of the water. We have no ancestral moral debt to the Martians.
Sure, we could bring them back. But think through the implications of that. Mars is their world, the very planet we were planning to colonize. Will they want it back, maybe ask to live on Earth in the millennia it takes to teraform it? And even then, we'll now have a literal alien civilian right on our doorstep. Do we really want to open that Pandora's Box?
I was introduced to the concept of the moral dilemma of bringing back extinct aliens from Isaac Arthur, and it's a scenario I truly love.
Given how humans treat humans probably better to keep them extinct.
Like if they were all hot female big titty race lots of humans would be receptive but species supremacy groups will rise.
Excuses.