They want it to be difficult to cancel. Shit like this should be illegal.

Us common folks may not have flying cars or jetpacks yet but this shit is pretty dope.

Everywhere I look everything is getting fucked to death. Insects, fish, entire ecosystems, entire climates, entire regions near the equator, all FUCKED.

Then my uncle says “how come it’s getting colder some places, I thought the globe was supposed to be warming! Hahahah”

At least he can arguably not give a fuck. He is rich and has no kids. I don’t get why the poors on the right side of the spectrum are so willing to parrot this idiotic bullshit though, don’t they realize their 600 even-poorer grandchildren are FUCKED?

Far right: “while we’re at it we’re going to cut taxes for the ultra rich and corporations, and raise taxes on everyone else. Trickle down economics hasn’t failed as a model, it just needs 75 years to start trickling. And we’re gonna make it harder for people to vote and harder for people to trust elections because that’s our only chance of winning with a garbage platform that does nothing to benefit 90% of you.”

Average republican voter: DURR SOUNDS GOOD TO ME, JUS MAKE SUR U WAVE TH’MURKIN FLAG AND CALL THEM LIBRALS FAGS WHILE YER AT IT

I would LOVE to see more of this. Looking at you GATORADE, with your half-inch-deep plastic rim on the bottom and new hourglass bottle shape. 32oz sized bottles are 28oz now and MORE expensive. Fuck shrinkflation to death.

She’s apparently equally strong while seated in a crowded movie theater.

This is more depressing than it is funny

I hate that evolutionary part of me that cares about having sex/a mate so much that I actually allow myself to become depressed based on the goddamn preferences of one person.

For years the only happiness I’ve found has been by removing myself from the market entirely and just writing off the notion of being with someone, a “with no hope/expectations there is no letdown” kind of thing.

I was carrying on just fine like this until I got a beautiful new coworker a few months ago who laughs at even my worst jokes like it’s going out of style. Alas though I’m sure she likes me I know I’m too old for her so here I am just unusually unhappy in my solitude for the first time in years. Ugh, is it time to get on tinder? I fucking hate the whole enterprise of dating.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

“Shocking cunt shocks with yet more cuntery!”

It’s honestly fucking hilarious how hard Musk has Trumped this company.

People are still going to call it twitter and tweeting because it’s usable in a sentence. Calling it “x” is a thoroughbred-mouthbreather move. For example:

“Twitter tweeted an announcement that it would add disclaimers to tweets with misleading and false information regarding voter fraud”

“X x’d an announcement that it would add disclaimers to x’s that american elections are rigged and Trump and Musk are totally not the swamp they complain about”

“Blaze your glory!”

At a certain point it’s not trolling, you’re just being a retard.

“Drain the swamp!”

Says one of the biggest swamp rats in the world.

These people are addicted to voting against their own interests. Just look at the 2017 tax cuts. At the EPA. At his covid response.

I just hope he’s turned enough of them off voting in our “rigged” elections for 2024z

I’m in NC and one of my (voting age) coworkers heard me ranting about how republicans keep fucking everything up with evil, unamerican legislation at all levels of government and she was so surprised to hear something bad about republicans instead of democrats that she said:

“Wait, which one is which? I think democrats were.. the ones I don’t like..

What’s the difference?”

As fucking made up as this sounds I swear to god this is as close to verbatim as I can recall. The conversation started with the plastic bag ban in the outer banks that fucking supermajority cuntpublicans overturned— and how everyday republicans consistently vote to destroy the planet, only to benefit some rich cunts and the profit margins of big companies that they have zero vested interest in. It’s unreal how fucking stupid these people are.

I was a heroin addict and only jerked off like once a month for years (i.e. whenever I could get my hands on a couple adderall, i’d get my hands on something else). Now i’m clean and exercising and gaining weight and trying to be a human again, and I kinda started jerking off a bit more and I’ve realized just like with eating — the more I eat the more I feel the need to eat— the more I jerk it the more I find myself wanting to jerk it. Now I feel I’ve opened a degenerate can of worms.

I kind of liked not being a slave to my monke brain… except then I was a slave to my junke brain. Someone just teach me how to live.

He is literally crying in the picture though. What is this book of lies?

Disney’s desperation is showing—just look at their stock price the past 2 years.. down 50%

I’m honestly surprised they didn’t raise their subscription fees sooner. Unfortunately for them it’s a double edged sword, which will cause a lot of people to cancel and quite possibly harm them in the long run.

All western news is doing some strong work completely ignoring coverage of this narrative. Absolute fucking disgrace and travesty.

Maybe it’s just late, but this one-two punch of randomness and absurdity just got me good. Still giggling.

Nevermind all the birds and insects dying, the crop and literal drinking water shortages. We’re gonna have front row seats to the collapse of civilization as we know it. What a fucked up time to be alive for anyone like me who cares deeply about nature. This shit is ruining my mental health.

Humanity does not deserve to exist. It has been decided, greed is our great filter. If there were 100 people to blame for all of this I could go out and kill them, but 100 million? What the hell can any of us do about that?

We still have the whole republican party denying climate change.. these people are hopelessly fucking greedy and stupid.

He’s not having a hooker shit on his chest through a hammock though, might not be him.

“Eat the rich” is honestly where we’re headed. And I don’t mean literally eat I mean TAKE THEIR WEALTH.

Until billionaires are made illegal, and “real estate investment” (i.e. predatory price gouging on homes/apartments) is made illegal, everything is gonna continue getting more fucked. It’s too little too late though, greed has destroyed our planet. We’ve got front row seats to the downturn of human civilization.

I’m stocking up on canned food, and I’ve never been the doomsday prepper type. Honestly I think we’re about to enter a protracted global depression that makes ‘08 look like a speedbump.