Spyke

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autism

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Exactly how I felt

It also makes it harder to even accept help because you have been doing okay so far. It's almost like, if you accept too much or certain types of help, you feel like a lesser person. It's not true, of course. It's just hard to ask for help for things you thought where okay.

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Anyone got anything they wanna talk about?

I'm so so tired of not having a job. In 11 years since finishing school I feel like I've tried everything multiple times. Summer jobs, studying, visiting companies, calling companies, idk how many times I've rewritten my resume trying different layouts etc. one time I even drew an image to have on my resume. it was cringe af. "you have to stick out"

I'M DESPERATE FOR A JOB.

But I'm autistic, I can't do whatever because of sensory issues (mostly sounds, like the checkout area in grocery stores) and I happen to feel really really uncomfortable to work with people, like homes for elderly or so. I simply feel way to unsure on the social interactions. When is it ok to push their consent? How much can I push it? Why? When? What? I also tend to laugh or giggle when I'm nervous, not a good trait in that field. oh yeah, I'm also slow and not very good with stress, it makes me slower, ironic huh?

I have considered personal assistance, if I get to work with the "right" person. But what are the odds for that?

And next month new rules and regulations will start regarding being jobless, less money, stricter rules and I'm so freaking stressed I don't know what to do. I'm seeing a psychiatrist on Tuesday, I hope they're a decent person with decent ideas.

I'm just so tired.

I just want a job so I can start living and not just surviving.

cat

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Chonk

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A normal cat weights around 4kg. Crumbs weighted at most 17kg. That's a little over 4 times the normal weight.

An average weight for an average person is 70kg. 4 times the normal weight for an average human would be 280kg

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*Permanently Deleted*

I dunno if I'd call myself a workaholic, but I easily get stuck in the hamster-wheel when I'm stressed and the longer you are in the hamster-wheel the blurrier your surrounding gets and it gets harder and harder to stop the wheel to get out. I think your note made him step out of that wheel and he hopefully realized what's important in life. You, and living in the moment. So I don't think he hates you.

autism

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Dear Autism, please tell me about your "low-demand" lifestyle

I dunno if I have a 'low demand lifestyle' but some things I do or think about that makes things easier:

  • I have alarm for when it's time to make lunch and dinner, which helps me relax or focus.
  • I have an alarm for when it's time to go to bed. Not necessarily sleep, but I use that time to wind down.
  • I plan my days roughly in a calendar; sleep, lunch, dinner, gym time. How detailed I am depends on how integrated it is into my routine. When going to the gym, I don't plan the time to walk there and home. But if I'm going on a family trip, I like to plan out in more detail.
  • Routines and habits are more about doing things in the same order rather than the exact time every day.
  • I order groceries every other week to the door. I still go to the grocery store 1-2 times a week tho but that's mostly for veggies or stuff I forgot to order.
  • If it's worth doing, it's worth doing halfway.*
  • Actually use things that help me, like nose-canceling headphones and stimming toys.
  • We live in an apartment complex with shared laundry room, so I try my best to book laundry same day every week, that way I don't need to remember as hard as I have a laundry-day.
  • I go to the gym on the same days every week as well. Those are my gym-days.
  • We eat roughly the same things every day/week, I don't like to plan my meals too much and prefer to just wing it. I build meals by deciding on: a protein, some veggies, a starch (aka. pasta, rice or potatoes). I make we eat veggies at least once a day and preferably more than just some chopped onion.
  • Only wear comfy clothes. I absolutely refuse to wear anything that is uncomfortable in any way. It takes way to much energy.
  • Make cleaning easier. You don't need a special cleaning bottle for every area, with a special tool and everything color-coded etc. **
  • I try to do some kitchen-cleaning every evening before bed. It has become a part of my going-to-bed routine. I also prep the coffee maker. If I'm going somewhere I prepare clothes for the next day, prepare breakfast and just as much as I can to make the morning easier.

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  • Example: Say you need to do the dishes, but you only have energy for half of the dishes. If you only want to do everything or nothing. You'll have to wait... while more dishes pile up. Needing more and more energy to do them all. In the end you are forced to use a lot more energy than you have to clean them all.

If you instead think it's worth doing halfway, sure your kitchen might rarely be ✨Sparkling Clean✨ but your mental health and energy levels will be SO much better.

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** All you really need for cleaning your home:

  • Bottle of all-cleaner, for most areas. Floors, dusting etc.
  • I like to use dish-washing soap to clean the kitchen area, it's good at removing fats and safe if you accidentally don't rinse properly.
  • A bad-ass oven cleaner, so you don't have to scrub for eternity!
  • Toilet cleaner, for the bowl. You can use all-cleaner for the rest of the toilet.
  • Window / glass cleaner. Although, if you have good micro cloths you don't even need that.
  • A chalk-remover that you use when you get buildup from the water.

Tools:

  • Micro-fiber cloths. There are different types and qualities.

    • Smooth ones are good for glass and other shiny surfaces.
    • Fluffy ones are good for all other areas, especially dusty or if it's many germs as they "catch" the germs.
  • I like to use dish-washing tools to clean the kitchen. ( I kinda have a lot woops )

    • Sponge-cloth, a thin square "cloth" made from sponge, super absorbent and washable.
    • Dish brush and/or sponge (non-scraching) and/or sponge with handle
    • Fine soapy steel wool for those impossible spots
  • Vacuum-cleaner (get one of those quiet ones, I can watch tv while using it, they are amazing.

  • mop and bucket (not those flat ones)

  • Nice to have

    • "spot eraser" sponge, a white, dense sponge, great for removing spots on handles, light switches etc.
    • "Edge brush", like this: https://www.stadbutiken.se/sv/artiklar/smartbrush-komplett.html but you can also repurpose an old toothbrush.
    • A broom-set, especially if you have pets or often get dirt on the floor so you don't have to pull out your vacuum cleaner all the time.
    • A rubber-broom to clean carpets with, especially if you have pets.
    • If you want to be fancy you can skip the vacuum-cleaner and mop if you replace them with proper cleaning mop that cleaning-companies use, like this: https://www.stadbutiken.se/sv/artiklar/swep-extramopp-50cm-rod.html but they are expensive.

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Well that turned into a wall of text. Woops.

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*Permanently Deleted*

I prefer no sex-scenes tbh as they extremely rarely add something to the story. The implication or the first few seconds are more than enough. They only time I've felt that a longish sex-scene have added to the story is in Bridgerton when Penelope finally finds her love match.