Cops will execute you for throwing pies at the wealthy elites these days, may as well skip straight to throwing Lucy Parsons special pie.

Future Cop: LAPD.

Transforming mecha dystopian police shooter. It was pretty cool. It had a PVP arena mode, capture the flag sort of thing. Loved that game.

Put them in a lil zoo, charge admission to see them

But I was born weird!

Jesus was the original soft white underbelly

But don't swing your arms, so it doesn't look like you're running. Just sprint forward with your arms at your sides.

If your mother has already passed, politely inform the woman "My mother is dead." So she understands.

Please listen carefully to the following broadcast. Your survival depends on it. Do not, under any circumstances broadcast ends suddenly

Just normal men

My ginger cat lets me carry her monorail style over one outstretched forearm. I carry her around the yard the way a waiter carries the little white towel over his arm, while I water my plants and I tell her in detail about what seeds ive planted this year. She seems moderately interested.

Sh also lets me carry her upside down with two hands, ass in the air, front legs dangling down, belly out, when she's somewhere she's not supposed to be, I pick her up, dangle-carry her to her bed, and yeet her in. She seems to think it's funny.

In the morning, when it's time for breakfast, she walks down the hallway in front of me, pinballing off the walls, and hitting her head quite hard each time. She walks under the table and chairs, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. She does it on purpose.

I was doing tasks! Teal is sus

If Christian Bale wants to make himself look like Skeletor for a role, that's his choice.

No dishes? Do you pour the couscous and boiling water into your cupped hands?

Hardware store guy: "I'm here if you need any advice!"

Me: "How do I begin to heal from past traumas when my only coping mechanism is fantasization and when the only emotional reaction I have to someone breaking contact with me is validation of my belief that I'm a burden and they are better off without me in their life?"

Coroner taking pictures on the first day of school

Spborgetti

Oh how the turntables

My local library has baking kits you can borrow - not books, but cake moulds, trays, tins, ect everything you might need to bake up a storm at home. They have a recording studio you can book out if you want to make a podcast, audiobook, album or other recorded media. They have 3D printers you can bring your files to and print your parts. They have meeting rooms you can book, if you want a professional space to meet with folks to say, go over a business plan, discuss a startup, hold an AA meeting, whatever. All for free.

TIL that fruit of the loom started in 1893.

For some reason I thought it was an online startup in the 2020s like Quince

Resist giving employers ANY details. Your doctor certainly won't give them any, you don't have to either. I send a text or email "I'm unwell and won't be in today" and my doctor's notes all say "Diagnosis: medical condition."

Could be a throat infection ( it currently is, it's 3am and I am sick as a dawg), could be a cold, could be a broken wrist, could be depression. They aren't entitled to know.