Spyke

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

need advice

What's your honest advice for a young person struggling with rent, money, and finding a job, still relying on parents financially right now?

Not looking for "just work hard," genuinely curious what actually got you through a phase like this, and how you dealt with the guilt of relying on parents at this age.

I just feel like I'm running behind something, not even sure what exactly, money, stability, proving something to myself, maybe all of it at once. Curious if anyone else has felt that and figured out what they were actually running from, or toward........

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

Did Your Childhood Home Leave a Mark You're Still Working Through???

Did any of you grow up in a toxic or unstable home as a kid? How did you actually deal with it, or move past it?

Looking back, home wasn't calm growing up. Constant fighting between my parents, things a kid shouldn't really be exposed to. I don't even fully know whose fault it is, honestly, and part of me hesitates to blame either of them completely, because I've also watched both of them work hard for me despite everything falling apart between them. That contradiction is confusing on its own, seeing people cause you pain and also genuinely try for you at the same time. I've started noticing it in myself now, more impatience than I think I should have, reacting harder to small things than the situation probably calls for. It's like some of that environment got wired into me without me even realizing it until recently.

I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm asking because I know I'm not the only one who's grown up like this, and I'd genuinely like to know how people actually worked through it, not just survived it, but actually became calmer, steadier versions of themselves afterward.

A few things I'm curious about:

Did you notice the effects on yourself right away, or did it take years to even recognize the pattern?

Was there a specific turning point, therapy, a relationship, distance from the situation, or was it more gradual than that?

Does it ever fully go away, or does it just become something you manage better over time?

Genuinely trying to understand this instead of just carrying it forward without realizing it. Appreciate any real experiences you're willing to share.

[[[[Sometimes I catch myself wondering what it would've actually felt like to grow up in a genuinely happy, peaceful family. Hard to even imagine it sometimes, since it's not something I ever really got to experience firsthand._]]]]

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

ans guys ///

ngl which country is actually the best to retire in? like proper peace, good weather, decent food, not stressed 24/7 kinda vibe

not looking for the "richest" answer, just curious where people actually feel chill and healthy once they're done working.........

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

Just Curious - What's Everyone's Profession Here???

Just curious, what do you guys actually do for a living?

Scrolling through comments here, you can tell there's a huge mix of people, some clearly technical, some more creative, some who sound like they've been in the working world for decades, others who feel like students or early in their career.

No particular reason for asking, just genuinely curious what kind of professions make up this community. Feel free to keep it as vague or specific as you're comfortable with.

Drop your profession below, and if you want, one thing about it people usually don't expect.

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

Tried 5 Skills, Quit All 5 — What Am I Missing?

Everyone's talking about "learn a skill" like it's some magic fix. I've tried, and nothing has stuck. What am I doing wrong?

Over the past while I've actually tried: copywriting, logo design, tutoring, SEO, social media management. Not just thought about them, actually tried them. I even reached out to businesses directly for each one, emailed a genuinely large number of people, and maybe 1% ever replied, and even then it was usually just "we don't need this right now" before the conversation closed. And every single one, I quit before it went anywhere.

I don't think it's because these skills don't work, plenty of people clearly make money from all of them. I think something in how I'm approaching this is off, and I want to actually understand what before I pick up something new and repeat the same pattern for the sixth time.

So instead of just asking "what skill should I learn," I want to ask something more specific:

For people who actually stuck with a skill long enough to see results, how long did it take before you saw any real payoff? I have a feeling I've been quitting before the "boring middle part" even ends.

Did you struggle with switching between different skills before one finally clicked, or did you commit hard to one thing from the start?

Is a 1% reply rate on cold outreach actually normal, or is that a sign my pitch, targeting, or approach itself needs fixing before I even think about the skill?

If you were in my position right now, tried five different things with nothing to show for it, what would you actually do differently, a new skill, or the same list with more patience?

I'm not opposed to learning something new, but I'd rather fix whatever's actually broken in my approach than just add a sixth failed attempt to the list...................

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

What's a Real Side Hustle That Actually Paid Off???

What side hustle actually helped you make money during a rough financial phase???

Being honest, I'm going through this right now. I need money, and I'm trying to figure out something realistic I can actually start, not some "make $10k a month" course pitch, just something real that's genuinely worked for regular people.

If you've been through a similar phase, I'd really appreciate hearing:

What did you actually do,and how much time did it realistically take before it started paying off?

Did it need any upfront investment, or could you start with basically nothing?

Would you recommend it to someone in a tight spot right now, or was it more trouble than it was worth?

Not looking for generic lists, genuinely want to hear what worked for real people who've actually been where I am right now. Any advice is appreciated. 😶‍🌫️ >--___^___^#

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

Money, Family, AI -What's Actually Stealing Our Happiness?

What's your honest thought on happiness, given how different everyone's life actually is?

Some people have more money than they could spend in ten lifetimes. Some people don't have enough to eat today. Some kids grow up with parents who genuinely love each other and build a calm home. Some kids grow up listening to their parents fight every single day, absorbing all of that tension without ever asking for it. And somewhere in between, most of us are just going through the motions, trying to figure out what we're even chasing anymore.

Here's what's been sitting with me lately.

As kids, we all had this idea: when I grow up, I'll buy this, I'll do that, I'll finally feel like I've made it. There was so much excitement attached to the future.

Then you actually get there, whatever "there" was for you, a job, a certain amount of money, a certain lifestyle, and the excitement is just... gone. You got the thing, and you feel strangely normal. Maybe even a little empty. Like the finish line moved the second you crossed it.

It's like we're slowly becoming more like machines, going through routines, chasing the next milestone out of habit rather than genuine desire, not really feeling much either way.

And I can't help but think AI is making this worse, not better. It's optimizing everything, our feeds, our recommendations, even how we spend our free time, but optimization isn't the same as meaning. We're more efficient, more connected, more informed than any generation before us, and somehow a lot of people feel more disconnected from any real sense of purpose or joy.

So I'm curious what people actually think:

Is this just what adulthood is, and we romanticize childhood excitement more than it deserves?

Is it inequality itself, seeing some people struggle to survive while others have more than they need, that quietly numbs everyone's sense of what "enough" even means?

Is it the home we grew up in, whether it was calm and loving or full of tension we never chose to be part of, quietly shaping how much we're even capable of feeling happy as adults?

Or is it something newer, like constant optimization and technology, that's actually changing how capable we are of feeling excited or content in the first place?

Not looking for a neat answer. Just curious what this community actually thinks, because I don't think I've figured it out myself.

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

My Self-Worth Has a Ticker Symbol. Need to Fix That

How do you stop your mood from being controlled by your P&L?

I've noticed a pattern in myself over the last 8 months of trading: green day, I feel great, confident, like I've got life figured out. Red day, everything feels heavier, even things unrelated to money.

It's not just about the money itself anymore, it's that I've let a number on a screen decide how my whole day goes, sometimes how I treat people, how I see myself, whether I feel like "I'm doing well in life" or not.

I know logically this isn't healthy. But knowing that hasn't been enough to actually change it.

So I wanted to ask people who've been trading, investing, or even just dealing with unpredictable income for longer than I have:

Did this ever stop being tied to your identity for you, or does it just get more manageable with time?

Did you build any specific habit or rule that separated "how my trades did" from "how my day/mood goes"?

Is there a difference in how people who've been doing this 5+ years relate to losses compared to someone 8 months in, or does everyone struggle with this at some level?

I don't think the fix is "stop caring," because that's not realistic. I think the fix is something more specific that I haven't found yet. Curious what's actually worked for people who've been through this longer than me.

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

6 Months Gone, Nothing to Show For It........

6 months of 2026 are already gone and I feel like I've wasted a good chunk of it. Need some direction.

I'm free for about a month right now. Right now my days look like: wake up, check trades, watch series, repeat. I do intraday trading on the side, but I've been in a losing phase, and I've noticed my entire mood for the day depends on whether I'm in profit or loss. That's a problem in itself, but it's also making me realize I'm not using this free time for anything that actually builds me up.

I don't want to look back at the end of this year and realize I spent another 6 months just watching series and stressing over green or red candles.

So I wanted to ask people here directly:

If you had a genuinely free month, what skill would you actually spend it learning? Something practical, not just "learn to code" as a buzzword, but something that actually paid off for you personally.

Any podcasts or channels that actually added value to how you think, not just entertainment dressed up as self-improvement?

For those who've traded before, how did you stop your mood from being tied to daily P&L? Did you find something else to focus your energy on instead?

Not looking for generic "just be productive" advice. Looking for specific things that actually worked for you, even small ones.

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

Your Favorite Place, Your Actual Budget

What are the best places you've been to that are actually worth exploring?

Not looking for the obvious tourist checklist, more curious about places that surprised you, felt different from what you expected, or just stuck with you long after the trip ended.

Could be a country, a random small town nobody talks about, a trek, a street you wandered into by accident, anything.

A few things I'd love to know if you're up for sharing:

Where was it, and what made it stand out for you?

Was it planned, or did you just stumble into it?

Would you actually go back, or was it a one-time kind of place?

Roughly how much did it end up costing you, and did it feel worth that amount looking back?

I'm building a list for future trips, and honestly the best recommendations I've gotten have always come from real people's experiences rather than "top 10 places to visit" articles that all say the same five cities.

Drop your favorite spot, I'm genuinely taking notes.

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asklemmy·Ask Lemmybysandhu

????????

Is a 5’2" girl and 6’2" boy an ideal height combo for a couple?

Saw this pairing come up in a conversation recently and it got me curious what people actually think. A foot of height difference is pretty significant, so wanted to get different opinions on it.

Things I’m curious about:

Does a big height gap like this actually matter for compatibility, or is it just an aesthetic preference some people have?

For those in relationships with a noticeable height difference (either direction), does it cause any real day-to-day issues, or is it just something people online make a bigger deal out of than it actually is?

Is there an “ideal” height gap at all, or does it really just come down to personal preference and has nothing to do with how well a couple actually works?

Not trying to start a debate, just genuinely curious what people think, especially those who’ve actually experienced a similar height gap themselves.

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goodoffmychest·Off My Chestbysandhu

Lost 15% to Greed, Again.......///

im 19, trading for 8 months. Learned an expensive lesson about greed this week.

I started with intraday trading first. Had a good run for a while, but I wasn’t disciplined about stop losses, and eventually gave a lot of that profit back. Switched to swing trading about 3 months ago, thinking a slower pace would suit me better.

For a while, it worked. I was recovering at a solid pace, felt like I’d actually learned something from the intraday phase.

Then three days ago, one greedy decision wiped out 15% of my capital again. Same mistake, same cycle, just a different strategy this time. No stop loss discipline, held on longer than I should have, convinced myself “it’ll come back.”

It didn’t.

What gets me is that I know the rule. Set a stop loss, respect it, don’t let one trade decide your month. I just didn’t follow my own rule when it actually mattered, again.

I’m not looking for stock tips. I’m trying to understand the psychology side of this, because clearly the technical knowledge isn’t the problem, my execution and discipline is.

For those who’ve traded longer than me, how did you actually fix this in yourself? Was it a system, a rule you forced on yourself, or did something just click after enough losses?

Genuinely trying to learn from this instead of just moving on and repeating it a third time.

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goodoffmychest·Off My Chestbysandhu

Lost 15% to Greed, Again.......///

im 19, trading for 8 months. Learned an expensive lesson about greed this week.

I started with intraday trading first. Had a good run for a while, but I wasn’t disciplined about stop losses, and eventually gave a lot of that profit back. Switched to swing trading about 3 months ago, thinking a slower pace would suit me better.

For a while, it worked. I was recovering at a solid pace, felt like I’d actually learned something from the intraday phase.

Then three days ago, one greedy decision wiped out 15% of my capital again. Same mistake, same cycle, just a different strategy this time. No stop loss discipline, held on longer than I should have, convinced myself “it’ll come back.”

It didn’t.

What gets me is that I know the rule. Set a stop loss, respect it, don’t let one trade decide your month. I just didn’t follow my own rule when it actually mattered, again.

I’m not looking for stock tips. I’m trying to understand the psychology side of this, because clearly the technical knowledge isn’t the problem, my execution and discipline is.

For those who’ve traded longer than me, how did you actually fix this in yourself? Was it a system, a rule you forced on yourself, or did something just click after enough losses?

Genuinely trying to learn from this instead of just moving on and repeating it a third time.

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trading_and_crypto_memes·Trading and Crypto Memesbysandhu

15% Gone in One Greedy Trade//

19, trading for 8 months. Learned an expensive lesson about greed this week.

I started with intraday trading first. Had a good run for a while, but I wasn't disciplined about stop losses, and eventually gave a lot of that profit back. Switched to swing trading about 3 months ago, thinking a slower pace would suit me better.

For a while, it worked. I was recovering at a solid pace, felt like I'd actually learned something from the intraday phase.

Then three days ago, one greedy decision wiped out 15% of my capital again. Same mistake, same cycle, just a different strategy this time. No stop loss discipline, held on longer than I should have, convinced myself "it'll come back."

It didn't.

What gets me is that I know the rule. Set a stop loss, respect it, don't let one trade decide your month. I just didn't follow my own rule when it actually mattered, again.

I'm not looking for stock tips. I'm trying to understand the psychology side of this, because clearly the technical knowledge isn't the problem, my execution and discipline is.

For those who've traded longer than me, how did you actually fix this in yourself? Was it a system, a rule you forced on yourself, or did something just click after enough losses?

Genuinely trying to learn from this instead of just moving on and repeating it a third time.

View original on thelemmy.club
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