Kiwibank is desperately trying to stop people saying they want to fuck its sheep mascot
But for every lustful post killed by a legal threat, another 10 take its place.
https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/03-10-2026/kiwibank-is-desperately-trying-to-stop-people-saying-they-want-to-fuck-its-sheep-mascotOpen linkView original on thebrainbin.org
158 replies
If this doesn't make it onto John Oliver's show at some point, I will be very disappointed.
It was in the feature spot of the opening credits last night. I had no idea what it was; now I do.
Anyone else think this a ploy to find candidates for the FBI on the US? If you open an account do you also get a job there?
For every deranged penis they cut off, two more take its place! Hail Hydra!
Said it in another thread with the same thumbnail:
If they didn't want people to lust after their mascot, they shouldn't have given her "fuck me" eyes and a sultry smile. This is the internet, they should have anticipated this.
They knew exactly what they were doing
We're talking about it, aren't we?
"oh no, the publicity!"
And the color of that green M&M trollop.
Journalism is dead
I didn't go to school for 4 years for a dying field to stare at degen porn of bank mascots
If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life
This isn't journalism, it's an ad. I hadn't heard of Kiwibank until right now.
It's a bank owned by the New Zealand government, so if you're not based in New Zealand, that's not a surprise.
Kiwi should've given that away, duhhhh.
I assume that unless someone lives in New Zealand, that they probably aren't going to be using Kiwibank. They appear to only do business there.
There's something people here don't understand
When something happening in New Zealand gets global attention, everyone in the country takes notice
Kiwis wouldn't pay attention to the ads, but the instant that they get overseas eyes involved, they'll be all over it
Source: am Kiwi
Also, WOULD
Why are you repeating yourself
True. They're also owned by the NZ government, actually.
I took the commenter's implication to be that True Journalists would have looked into the images and been able to confirm if they were, in fact, pornographic.
The CEO presses pause, the mascot sheep looking over the boardroom in coquettish freeze-frame. "Guys, you've gotta tell me, nobody thinks this sheep is fuckable, right? We didn't put a CM out with a sexy sheep on purpose, did we?"
The VP loosens his collar. The marketing team fidget and look around the table, anywhere to avoid the gaze of the CEO.
"Guys? It's not fuckable, right?"
A junior exec caves. "M-maybe a little bit?"
"God FUCKING damnit!"
This reads like a Dropout Brennan Lee Mulligan CEO sketch
The CEO is upset at being the only Scalie in the room
Maybe don't show her out on a date, then?
Oh c'mon, that's not fair, that's not a date. That's very obviously a hotel lobby, this is the morning after hooking up.
Jealous?
It's been a minute.
It's big in Wales
Whales are indeed big.
Damn you, sexy whales!
Krakens aren't that bad, there is place for 2 cuties
Must be newly hired FBI.
Kash Patel has entered the chat.
Kash is happily married
The DMCA is out of control
Since when does the DMCA apply in Aotearoa?
DMCA takedowns are valid regardless of what country they come from I think, and both Twitter and Bluesky are based in the US
I would imagine New Zealanders should be sensitive and wise about sheep sexualisation jokes...
Obligatory Thanks Smokey
https://youtu.be/HNMq8XS4LhE?is=kVR_yLIBeQpvR6p2
It's the old classic Scottish joke again:
A man at the bar is complaining:
"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No!
And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scoarching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No!
And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!"
"but you fuck one sheep..."
Yeah, we really don't want to encourage the Aussies too much.
OK? So don't make it so fuckable
This is the green M&M all over again
You can't tell me it wasn't intentional
https://mms.fandom.com/wiki/Ms._Green
Huh.
I think they are referring more to the (really fucking stupid) backlash against those changes by the Fox News crowd.
They tried to make it a culture war thing. The alleged "sexiness" of a cartoon M&M being reduced. They flipped their shit.
investigates
I dunno if a beauty salon was maybe the best setting to use for your ad, Kiwibank.
Why did they give a sheep eyeliner?
John Oliver is going to run so hard with this.
Considering I've never heard of Kiwibank until now, the advertising is working.
Maybe just not working as they intended...
Is it a sperm bank company?
great pivot! They really should...
Baaaaaaddie alert!
No! No, I can work with this
I'm fuckin dead
On the fucking nose:
Something about beating a dead horse
Beating off one at least.
Anyone remember Erin for Esurance? There's a reason you don't see her anymore...
Okay but she's actually drawn attractive and sexy. This is a fucking sheep.
Kiwi jailbait
A sheep with freaking eyeliner.
They know what they did.
The sheep is also, allegedly, drawn attractively and sexy
"It'd take like 3 guys to fuck a
nostritchsheep"*fuckable sheep
We've seen everything
It's too late, we've already seen everything...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg_cwI1Xj4M
Wait… I haven’t seen it. Can someone post it. For research purposes.
ddg search for erin esurance rule 34
https://rule34.gg/?tags=esurance
https://hentaiporns.net/r/character/erin-esurance/
She got rear-ended by Aflac.
Ben Affleck?
Nope, Corkscrew Aflec.
Ducks have corkscrew-shaped penises
I heard he fucks girls in some place very uncomfortable...
In the back of a VW?
Lol I'm glad someone got this 30+ year old joke
Because advertising operates in fads?
Not at all. She became the target of many rule 34 posts. Enough that the company pulled her from advertising.
Also that Snoop album Doggystyle.
username checks out
=)
he has eyes for small canids.
did they not learn when australia brought sheep with chlamydia to continent, and infecfted the koalas.
FBI is looking into it.
…for recruiting.
New Zealand never beating the allegations
Nah mate that's Australians https://youtu.be/f2gii2nenUg
They DID get deported back to New Zealand and became shepherds again...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheep_shagger
Sounds like it could be used both ways.
and the Welsh, they're the real sheep shaggers
While I'm not Welsh, I've lived in Wales for some time and I've been informed the reputation comes from after the English conquest in the middle ages; English law of the time apparently demanded death for those who stole sheep but lesser penalties for those caught shagging them. Therefore Welsh poachers when caught red-handed would claim to be having their way with the livestock rather than stealing it.
That’s their excuse
The only thing that annoys Australians and New Zealanders more than people implying they fuck sheep is when people confuse Australians and New Zealanders.
Hey now, I know where Boba Fett's dad originated.
How can you confuse them when they're the same thing? (/jk)
It's advertising. They always do it on purpose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxBuly8Vblc
wat?
oh, France. I see.
That landing full flat when jumping from the swing, oof
Thank you for sharing
Shearing
Kwikbank: where men are men, and sheep are nervous
Yeah. Sure. But is it bringing in the bucks? I mean sheep? I mean customers?
The glorious days on which all the furries on Twitter harassed Tony the Tiger.
A different but relevant video 🐑: https://vimeo.com/24550780?fl=pl&fe=sh
Possibly NSFW.
You need to enclose your link in
to embed the gifThank you!
The Young Kash Patel Story.
You guys bring my hope that this will be a place better than reddit one day higher than ever before.
🌏👨🚀🔫👨🚀
he prefers small dogs. he cant handle large powerful ones.
Uhhh, what is the conclusion i should gather from this? Is it like an anti-bestiallity ad?
Lol. No idea, I saw this years ago and it stuck with me. I guess don't fuck sheep.
I mean thats a message i can stand behind, tho this is a confusing way of communicating that
Idk wtf I just watched, but it was hilarious.
Eh, she's ok but she's no Judy Hopps.
Before Judy Hopps there was Lola Bunny, and before Lola Bunny there was Maid Marian; and before all of them there was Bugs Bunny in drag.
Ya I'm sure no one looked lol
So a bank, like a real bank that people safeguard their savings, has this as its mascot?
Yes, a real bank.
But not really safeguarded. New Zealand doesn’t do deposit protection like the FDIC.
well, it's making some people want to make a deposit
At least it’s not a sperm bank.
Yep. backed by the NZ government, no less...
To be fair, our current government is a total clown show.
To be fair to be fair, our clown show of a government want to sell off Kiwibank.
Don't forget that part of the government also wants to buy back the BNZ too.
They're really earning that red nose and the giant shoes.
Remember Samsung Sam?
I do not.
Here's her SFW intro video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2cQW_MQRtQS
Comments, naturally, are disabled.
People were aroused by this? Even my furry ass was like: "what a basic sheep." I get that she passes the Harkness test but.. Meh?
Mmmmehhhh. If you're gonna bleat, really get into it.
Herw is your updoot sir.
54 entries in about 2 months on the blue site. Yeah, that isn't a lot.
Re: Harkness, She's closer to a Born Sexy Yesterday situation.
Obligatory 'Thanks, Smokey!' 🐑🍆
Oh no, lol. I had forgotten about this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtsQwicbsy4
And so history repeats itself...
Would.
Obviously, you got banned from society
fucking sean william scott again.....
@[email protected] verdict?
People are fucking gross. There’s no way around it.
Stone houses and glass or something like that.
Hey, at least it's not a real sheep.