Spyke

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67 replies

Monkey paw: the genie changes what they really want to be their biological sex.

1
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Don't forget about the hilarious anti trans closeted trans people who will now have to face reality

22

I know there are anti-gay people who are secretly gay, but I didn't know the phenomenon extended to trans folk.

It makes sense it would.

4

I'll use my newfound body to protect my brother's, sisters and everyone in-between.

Only question is how do I get out of my house now that I'm a heavily armed attack helicopter. My fucking rotor blades are stuck in my dam drywall like it's the fucking backrooms.

11

I guess I'd take the robot for day 1, but "the body I want" is like the job I want, the car I want, or the clothes I want.

3

I've experienced being a robot. It's no fun because instead of sleep, you just run up your debt because you can keep working... and then, the planet explodes because they dug too deeply.

3

We’d be an epic goth fae furry girl 100% and would love it epically

5

How about just every person?

Oh nevermind - all the guys would end up hung too big.

3
sh.itjust.works

Excited to see which of the joke-artists actually wake up as an attack helicopter.

36

This video is required watching. Jacob Geller's best work. 37 minutes long, but please watch the whole thing.

3
Deebsterreply
infosec.pub

Seems you need to download the PDF to get all of it.

2

Can we agree that PDFs deserve to longer prison sentences

1

This would also be extra funny when turbo closeted biggots get affected too.

30
lemmy.world

Despite not being trans can I have a body that does not sound like slowly breaking a fist full of spaghetti when I get out of bed in the morning?

45

My immedate reaction was to imagine the sound of cooked spaghetti.

Was wondering why a wet slapping sound would be undesirable first thing in the morning.

I regret that train of thought...

9

I'd need a water bed to have one before getting out of it.

1
lemmy.world

I can feel the grimace from "breaking a fist full of spaghetti" from the denizens of Pastaland all the way up here in northern EU

13
katereply
lemmy.uhhoh.com

i have a conspiracy hypothesis that many restaurants break the pasta without telling people because people prefer it without even knowing

5
lemmy.wtf

Someone will want a body made of antimatter and the earth is gone.

22

I don't, Earth is like the only plannet we know has life, that's so unique ans special, how can ylu throw that away? For what? To kill 1 specie ? I mean they will probably kill all others and that but I would rather take my chances.

1

Wait for the world to get overrun by furries, but it's just middle age bald dudes suddenly having shoulder length hair, six pack abs, and a deep sense of regret about how comfortable it is to carry around a two foot long penis.

59
lemmy.world

People wishing for long hair and 6-pack abs have no clue the maintenance hell they are getting themselves into. The regret about the 2/3rds of a meter dong is spot on. Like envying a woman with melon sized breasts and not realizing how much back pain she deals with.

18

I've got hair that's about mid back at the longest and I don't find it particularly annoying. But then again I usually keep it pinned with a hat so that probably helps.

2
hOrnireply
lemmy.world

They actually put that in a cartoon? And I don't mean the sex change thing, I mean the salt shaker joke.

19

You tell someone "If you stick Your tongue out and pretend to shake salt on it You'll feel a salty taste", then they try it out and do the motion of jerking someone off and catching cum in their mouth.

29

Probably having someone do the motion of shaking some salt on their tongue. Go try it out in front of a mirror and you'll see.

19
lemmy.zip

oh my gosh! I'm SOME of those! :D a fem-leaning androgynous (but functionally genderless) cybernetic wolfthing with trillions of bodies across the multiverse all subliminally linked to the same consciousness!

13
lemmy.world

What if everyone gets the body they really want but it ends up in the trunk of your car instead?

23
lemmy.world

genie twist. they woke up with a dead body next to them

9

Now they get the special opportunity to fuck their dead inner selves

4
lemmy.world

wake up as an apache attack helicopter

Yes, yeeees, YEEEEEEES! BRATATATATATATA

16

Dude condemns himself to starving during a global fuel supply crisis for the sake of a decades old joke, news at 11

25
lemmy.world

Give it a minute or two. After you piss away the ammo and see the sticker shock to re-up, it will be nice and quiet.

7

I like that you guys assume after I wake up as an attack helicopter I'd just go to my regular day job and then get overwhelmed with my new grocery bill.

Oh no, I can't fit through my apartment door and my rotors keep shredding through my jackets.

5
lemmy.world

OwO I get to be a winged hybrid wolf-tiger-fox, with an 11" knotted and barbed cock? And I get to pound my furry friends as their fursona too? I'd actually get a career that I love, while it not feeling like work at all, having submissive cuties ride me like the bull I am? Hell yes.

13
CheesyFoxreply
lemmy.sdf.org

Knotted i get, but barbed? Even jerking off would be uncomfortable!

6

Nah, barbs are similar to the system of an erection. It's not so firm that you become a living sword, so you have enough give for it to be a nice experience. And barbs are usually much smaller than art depicts.

I used to date a tiger for a few years (hence the tiger hybrid addition, lots of wonderful memories that I wanted to encapsulate) and so I have it on very good authority how they feel ;3. Also I have a huge thing for feline furs, funny how that happens...

2
RVGamer06reply
sh.itjust.works

Do you have any depiction of how such a cutie creature would look? For scientific purposes, of course

4

It could be anything, but I'm basic and those around me that I have had the pleasure of pouncing on are furry, mostly vulpines, canines, felines, and dragons. And while I initially prefer slender males and androgynous individuals, I am also demi and so anyone who catches my attention and interest can be considered cute.

My only 'requirement' I guess you can call it is bring a fur... Though that isn't an absolute. But I haven't dated or got freaky with anyone not furry in 20 years. The bubble of the fandom, while small, is far more welcoming than the general population.

But a mostly-naughty 'ideal' cutie? Slender, male(ish, maybe), rather hung, uncut, geeky, loves cuddling, loves getting freaky frequently, shares a couple of my interests (automotive, tech, drones, finances...), is sweet and affectionate but can be assertive and commanding when we are alone (I have a service top thing now and then), is okay with bringing others into our bedroom (not a ton, but some), and doesn't mind my baggage (disabled, emotional scars, trust issues, horrendous self-confidence). Basically, an intelligent and good looking guy* who I share both ideas and projects, as well as bodily fluids with, and that I can fall asleep with feelings safe and genuinely cared for (sharing the same, of course). I don't feel like I have a lot to give (my master says otherwise, but) but if I get attached I'll give them the world, as much as I can.

That's what I look for in my 'cuties' :3

1
lemmy.world

I'm not that far along, kinda on the fence between 'I'm human but my sona is adorable' and 'I really want to be my sona for the rest of my life'. I do follow and support the Freedom of Form Foundation for several years now, which is furs that are way smarter than me in science and research trying to, very slowly, make actual furries possible by adjusting the human body to one's sona creature. They have recently done deep-dives on fur, scales, and tails. Maybe I'll get to see their labor before I die; it's very slow but exciting.

But in the hypothetical, if I woke up as my sona, it would definitely be a positive event.

E: and I've been a fur for 22 years and counting, so I definitely know I'd be happy. Me as I am is very meh. At least with my sona, I would be as I see myself.

3

I also have a lot of respect for the FFF, but I think there's a faster way. The FFF is focusing on physical technologies. I think we need more mental technologies. Technologies built out of ideas, which work on our minds to change our perceptions. Technologies which can let us feel our preferred bodies, and perceive others' preferred bodies.

1

Socialists? Usually socialists are the ones who speak about their gender identities openly. What I really wish to see in this scenario is the amount of outer trans conservatives

11

Don't let the Extremisms in. They will pretend, but are mostly just humanoid yellers. Me and mine, conversely, we yell and go nuts, for the right reasons

2