Were you one of the cool ones? One time I went in with my small backpack bursting with Taco Bell. The door guy asked to check my bag, took a peek, looked at me disappointingly, then shrugged and let me in anyway haha
Were yall also loud and rambunctious also? Cause otherwise it wasnt so bad for most of the people near you, save for maybe a vegetarian whos senistive to meat smells.
I’m surprised I haven’t heard this happening from my teens. They’re not especially into junk or fast food, but do like lean proteins: eating an entire rotisserie chicken each would be entirely consistent, and cheaper.
The only unrealistic thing here is that I almost never see that many chickens out on the warming shelves at one time
As a active teen and even into my 20s I could eat two medium all-dressed pizzas, I'd fold them in half to eat them faster, then go biking for a few hours, then shit out a Douglas fir that evening.
AI Overview
An all-dressed pizza (or toute garnie) in Canada—specifically in Quebec and Montreal—is a traditional pie topped with tomato sauce, mild pork pepperoni, sliced green peppers, fresh mushrooms, and mozzarella cheese.
A two-pizza night once a week was pretty common before I got my driver's licence. I used to ride a BMX everywhere, inc to work each day, maybe 30km a day in commutes.
But I'd eat like a crocodile. Huge meal once or twice a week, then almost nothing the rest of the days.
Not seeing the issue here. Sounds pretty wholesome to me actually! A bunch of boys hanging out. Unknowing to the horrors that adulthood brings. Soon high school will end. Soon college will start. Some of your friends will drift away. Some you won't even notice until you realize one day it's been a while since you hung out with that one guy. The one you're not best friends with, but sometimes he'd be around. Except he hasn't been around for months, and you're just now noticing. Other friends you notice right away are gone. They get accepted into a college on the other side of the country. You claim you'll keep in touch, but lets be real. You're both going to be super busy with college. You'll drift away from one of your best friends over the next few years. It's neither of your faults really. That's just how life is. You spent your whole life with this guy since you were 5 years old, and now as you transition into adulthood you become strangers. Then one day you wake up, and realize you haven't seen any of those friends in 20 years. All you do is work six days a week, and run errands on the 7th so you have enough supplies to handle the upcoming week. Now even the burnt out face in the mirror looks like a stranger.
But at least they'll have the wholesome memories of being in a costco as teens and eating chicken together. Before it all fell apart.
this hurt to read. i hate how well it captures that feeling. why the hell is adulthood like this? we grind people into paste and don’t even realise how much we have lost of what they could have been. sigh.
And maybe some pot? Remember when we were kids, and smoking in the ally, and saying how weed will never be legal in our lifetimes? Welp. It's legal. In our lifetimes.
Hey, wanna play this disc of MP3s I burned onto a CD? It's got Oasis, and Sublime in there somewhere.
You're absolutely right, but I am already absolutely in awe of them actually eating chicken and not just staring at their phones without interacting. At least that's my assumption because trying to devour a rotisserie chicken with one hand while holding your phone in the other seems like a challenge.
Teen boys are eating machines. I remember when my kids were teens and a bunch of boys came to the house. It was like a plague of locusts. They pretty much emptied the fridge. I still fondly recall pulling out a pickle jar they had eaten all of the pickles out of, leaving just the brine.
Shit man one upon a time those chicken's were like $5 a pop. Cheapest and fastest way of getting a ton of protein in by far. Now not so much. The last time I bought one I think it was double that in price. This is why we can't have nice things. Companies gotta get greedy.
While I don't disagree on companies (having always been) getting greedy, getting a whole cooked chicken for 5 bucks is only possible through industrial factory farming of livestock with horrible animal cruelty.
Try raising, slaughtering, plucking, gutting and cooking a chicken for that average price without basically creating a torture concentration camp for chicken.
I wonder if we'll ever be able to solve the animal cruelty problem through brute force technology. For example, genetically engineer chickens so they simply never grow a brain. Raise the brainless bodies hooked up to an intravenous feeding system. Could cram more of them in a smaller space that way too. Can't be cruel to a thing that isn't conscious in the first place. Sort of a poor man's lab-grown-meat approach.
Amusingly, most people would probably find this a lot more horrifying than factory farms, even though objectively the animals would experience absolutely no suffering whatsoever, as they wouldn't even have the minds to comprehend anything about themselves or their environment.
As someone who has backyard chickens and has tried raising meat chickens, they are pretty close with the current ones. Regular egg laying chickens don't have a lot going on upstairs but you can still see them finding (relatively) creative ways to scavenge food and stay safe. Meat chickens just stand there. They can barely move or react to anything. One step above catatonic. They were treated well and given good living situations, but I had to put them out of their misery because they would overeat and had leg problems. It was spooky and sad at the same time.
Honestly I am a bigger fan of vegetarian (vegan) meat supplements. I don't mind if chemistry gets involved as long as supervision is adequate. In the end, livestock is just a biological "factory" that turns vegetables/grains/grass into tasty meat. No reason that can't be done without the detour via the living being.
Not everyone's cup of tea but I was always a huge meat lover and for ~15 years I have committed to only eat meat when I really really want to & focus on quality then. And those times have become less and less, and I can absolutely live with the veggie options.
But I think food chemistry can go a long way and potentially produce artificial meat as well.
Scum-skimming wasn't hard to learn. You got up at dawn. You gulped a breakfast sliced not long ago from Chicken Little and washed it down with Coffiest. You put on your coveralls and took the cargo net up to your tier. In blazing noon from sunrise to sunset you walked your acres of shallow tanks crusted with algae. If you walked slowly, every thirty seconds or so you spotted a patch at maturity, bursting with yummy carbohydrates. You skimmed the patch with your skimmer and slung it down the well, where it would be baled, or processed into glucose to feed Chicken Little, who would be sliced and packed to feed people from Baffinland to Little America.
There's that, too. But here in Germany I am pretty sure the rotisserie chicken at a vending truck is not sold at a loss, and I believe you get a half one at 5 EUR, which is still dirt cheap.
I could have eaten one as a fifteen year old girl but I attribute that to my parents heavy encouragement of sports and lack of body shaming compared to other families.
I'm taller than all of my siblings that were born male which I attribute to my last place in the birth order when my family was no longer food insecure and my mother had time to give me a child's multivitamin daily.
As a result I've come to the conclusion that at least some of the wide difference between the average male and female body height and mass is actually child gender favoritism and body shaming (not that guys don't get weight shamed, but that's not usually regardless of muscle mass) resulting in nutritional deficiencies.
Interesting hypothesis. I went down the rabbit hole on it but couldn't find supporting evidence (not to discredit your anecdotal experience of course). Seems if anything slightly the opposite on average. See for example "Sexual dimorphism in body size occurs when ... living standards are high, and health correlate positively with male/female height ratio" here:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32793524/
This wouldn't surprise me at all, tbh. My uncle (first son) is way taller than my dad (second son) because back in the day my family didn't have much money, and they prioritized feeding the oldest son. Same genetics, different childhood diet. Uncle is like 6'2", my dad is like 5'6". If there had been a girl sibling involved, she probably would have gotten even less food.
They are about $8 for roughly 2 lbs at about 1000 calories a lb if you eat the skin and all the meat.
That would be completely reasonable as a large meal as it is about half the daily calories for an average sized male teenager, especially if they are very active.
This is unironically a big part of why people, on average, used to be shorter and why populations become taller as their country/region becomes wealthier.
Easily. From 14-17 I lived on a 5,000 calorie diet and struggled to gain weight, between marching band, PE, shop class, an avid skating hobby, a girlfriend, and growing in height. I could have easily eaten an entire chicken at the time.
I don't know about these kids, but among my teenage friend group, we would have had to pool our money to afford one rotisserie chicken. Maybe two if we were rolling in it.
The real teenage behavior starts when you figure out if they all planned to take a shit in the woods to see how big they can make the pile. Or if they didn't do that, they come back and start recounting how they destroyed their toilets and made Mom and Pop angry.
Male puberty as an adult rocked. Being that level of “eat an entire pizza” hungry and being able to sate it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Best parts of college were splitting a pitcher of beer with a bro and eating the kind of pizza that leaves a snail trail.
115 replies
In high school my one friend had a big trench coat, and we would use it to sneak rotisserie chickens into the movie theater.
I'm down for some trenchcoat chicken
I've worked at several theaters in my life, always amazed by what gets snuck into theaters, ive even seen big family buckets of KFC
Were you one of the cool ones? One time I went in with my small backpack bursting with Taco Bell. The door guy asked to check my bag, took a peek, looked at me disappointingly, then shrugged and let me in anyway haha
Oh yeah fer sure, I probably woulda said just dont make a mess
I never understood people who left garbage in cinemas. I rarely go to the cinema, compared to the theatre.
Yeah, that pisses me off to no end. If you were able to carry it in, you should be more than able to carry out to a trash can.
What the actual fuck? 😂
Imagine like four or five of us sitting in the front row of a crowded theater, chowing down on rotisserie chickens with our bare hands.
In retrospect I feel so bad for the people sitting near us 😂
Were yall also loud and rambunctious also? Cause otherwise it wasnt so bad for most of the people near you, save for maybe a vegetarian whos senistive to meat smells.
Not particularly, but I imagine it was just weird as hell haha
Why rotisserie chickens?
Cheaper than a large popcorn at the theater 😂
I can't think of a less pleasant food to eat in a cinema. So greasy.
Popcorn is covered in grease. Grease is satiating.
I’m surprised I haven’t heard this happening from my teens. They’re not especially into junk or fast food, but do like lean proteins: eating an entire rotisserie chicken each would be entirely consistent, and cheaper.
The only unrealistic thing here is that I almost never see that many chickens out on the warming shelves at one time
It's called whole foods
As a active teen and even into my 20s I could eat two medium all-dressed pizzas, I'd fold them in half to eat them faster, then go biking for a few hours, then shit out a Douglas fir that evening.
Ok....what's an all dressed pizza? I've had the fries.
AI Overview An all-dressed pizza (or toute garnie) in Canada—specifically in Quebec and Montreal—is a traditional pie topped with tomato sauce, mild pork pepperoni, sliced green peppers, fresh mushrooms, and mozzarella cheese.
I suppose it's a historical holdover name.
So, a deluxe pizza in Ontario, or it is sometimes called a supreme.
I guess? It's one of those things I don't think about, sort of like dejeuner means breakfast in Quebec but lunch in France...
It is like the word toboggan. It is a sled in Canada, and most of world, but... A hat in the U.S.?
A two-pizza night once a week was pretty common before I got my driver's licence. I used to ride a BMX everywhere, inc to work each day, maybe 30km a day in commutes.
But I'd eat like a crocodile. Huge meal once or twice a week, then almost nothing the rest of the days.
Do you layer the pizza with chips?
In my belly, yes.
At the Whole Foods, cracking open a hot one with the boys.
Not seeing the issue here. Sounds pretty wholesome to me actually! A bunch of boys hanging out. Unknowing to the horrors that adulthood brings. Soon high school will end. Soon college will start. Some of your friends will drift away. Some you won't even notice until you realize one day it's been a while since you hung out with that one guy. The one you're not best friends with, but sometimes he'd be around. Except he hasn't been around for months, and you're just now noticing. Other friends you notice right away are gone. They get accepted into a college on the other side of the country. You claim you'll keep in touch, but lets be real. You're both going to be super busy with college. You'll drift away from one of your best friends over the next few years. It's neither of your faults really. That's just how life is. You spent your whole life with this guy since you were 5 years old, and now as you transition into adulthood you become strangers. Then one day you wake up, and realize you haven't seen any of those friends in 20 years. All you do is work six days a week, and run errands on the 7th so you have enough supplies to handle the upcoming week. Now even the burnt out face in the mirror looks like a stranger.
But at least they'll have the wholesome memories of being in a costco as teens and eating chicken together. Before it all fell apart.
this hurt to read. i hate how well it captures that feeling. why the hell is adulthood like this? we grind people into paste and don’t even realise how much we have lost of what they could have been. sigh.
Stop whining and get back to generating shareholder value. You can block out your emotions with subscription services.
Goddammit, fine. I will go to the next reunion, and I will bring chicken for the lads, for old time's sake.
And maybe some pot? Remember when we were kids, and smoking in the ally, and saying how weed will never be legal in our lifetimes? Welp. It's legal. In our lifetimes.
Hey, wanna play this disc of MP3s I burned onto a CD? It's got Oasis, and Sublime in there somewhere.
I don't practice Santeria/I don't listen to Sublime/So why is it stuck in my head/All of the ti-i-i-iiime
I should call him...
Probably also the first fulfilling guilt free meal in a while
Unless you're OP
I can have trouble assessing tone sometimes so I might be way off, but the OOP seemed more amused than upset to me, maybe?
Yeah the post was clearly a "lol teenage boys do crazy stuff sometimes"
Which is fair, and correct.
check OPs user name
Thanks for getting it
You're absolutely right, but I am already absolutely in awe of them actually eating chicken and not just staring at their phones without interacting. At least that's my assumption because trying to devour a rotisserie chicken with one hand while holding your phone in the other seems like a challenge.
We call 'em "Bachelor's handbags" here in Australia.
Living like kings.
When I was fifteen, I could totally eat an entire rotisserie chicken in a single sitting. I was also gaining height by inches at a time.
Little fellas probably getting into gym culture
Animal cruelty and gym culture. Off to a good start.
The one time in history a bunch of 15yr olds bag a bunch of chicks and it really happened.
Teen boys are eating machines. I remember when my kids were teens and a bunch of boys came to the house. It was like a plague of locusts. They pretty much emptied the fridge. I still fondly recall pulling out a pickle jar they had eaten all of the pickles out of, leaving just the brine.
Hey, the brine is delicious.
Best thing when dehydrated. Shot of pickle brine chased with a liter or two of water
My ex would drink all the pickle juice before I even ate a single pickle.
It was madness
Do you think it's coincidence that 'brine' rhymes with 'wine'? 'Cause I do.
Well, eating one chicken does count as eating a whole food.
You can each have one rotisserie chicken, as a treat.
One of them should try the costco chickens.
Shit man one upon a time those chicken's were like $5 a pop. Cheapest and fastest way of getting a ton of protein in by far. Now not so much. The last time I bought one I think it was double that in price. This is why we can't have nice things. Companies gotta get greedy.
While I don't disagree on companies (having always been) getting greedy, getting a whole cooked chicken for 5 bucks is only possible through industrial factory farming of livestock with horrible animal cruelty. Try raising, slaughtering, plucking, gutting and cooking a chicken for that average price without basically creating a torture concentration camp for chicken.
I wonder if we'll ever be able to solve the animal cruelty problem through brute force technology. For example, genetically engineer chickens so they simply never grow a brain. Raise the brainless bodies hooked up to an intravenous feeding system. Could cram more of them in a smaller space that way too. Can't be cruel to a thing that isn't conscious in the first place. Sort of a poor man's lab-grown-meat approach.
Amusingly, most people would probably find this a lot more horrifying than factory farms, even though objectively the animals would experience absolutely no suffering whatsoever, as they wouldn't even have the minds to comprehend anything about themselves or their environment.
As someone who has backyard chickens and has tried raising meat chickens, they are pretty close with the current ones. Regular egg laying chickens don't have a lot going on upstairs but you can still see them finding (relatively) creative ways to scavenge food and stay safe. Meat chickens just stand there. They can barely move or react to anything. One step above catatonic. They were treated well and given good living situations, but I had to put them out of their misery because they would overeat and had leg problems. It was spooky and sad at the same time.
Honestly I am a bigger fan of vegetarian (vegan) meat supplements. I don't mind if chemistry gets involved as long as supervision is adequate. In the end, livestock is just a biological "factory" that turns vegetables/grains/grass into tasty meat. No reason that can't be done without the detour via the living being.
Not everyone's cup of tea but I was always a huge meat lover and for ~15 years I have committed to only eat meat when I really really want to & focus on quality then. And those times have become less and less, and I can absolutely live with the veggie options.
But I think food chemistry can go a long way and potentially produce artificial meat as well.
Hell yeah, get me some Chicken Little
"The Space Merchants," Frederik Pohl, good read
And even then, the stores have always been selling rotisserie chickens at a loss to get people in the door.
https://www.seriouseats.com/why-rotisserie-chicken-is-so-cheap-11920596
There's that, too. But here in Germany I am pretty sure the rotisserie chicken at a vending truck is not sold at a loss, and I believe you get a half one at 5 EUR, which is still dirt cheap.
I bought one for $4.95 at Sam’s yesterday
I'm pretty sure that beans and lentils have always been cheaper than chicken.
Well, yeah but are they ready to go for you to eat immediately plates and even a fork is optional?
Canned beans are precooked, just drain the liquid (optional), and chug it!
eat the beans then do a shot of the bean juice like god intended
Why do people drain the liquid? That's free bean water!
Seriously, if you're cooking the beans, leave the liquid in, cook until it boils off. Trust me dawg
It also has other uses - you can whip it into a creamy substance (search aquafaba for recipes)
When boiling dried beans, I recommend tossing the water though: it can contain some mildly poisonous substances, and give you a tummy ache.
Maybe that depends on where you are, but you can still get them at Walmart for $6 where I am
Costco is still holding strong at $5. But, of course, you need a membership.
Yeah, when I was going through puberty, the family was going through a burlap sack of rice every month.
In my day it was onions. We wore them on our belts
...which was the style at the time.
You will never know the hunger of a 15 year old boy unless you were one
I once shared a house with a teen male and an early 20's man. Absolute food hoovers.
I don't even know where I put all that food when I was that age. I could eat 5000 calories in a single day and not gain a pound.
I want science to give me back my teenage metabolism.
I bet if I was as active as I was as a teen, I could get relatively close.
I could have eaten one as a fifteen year old girl but I attribute that to my parents heavy encouragement of sports and lack of body shaming compared to other families.
I'm taller than all of my siblings that were born male which I attribute to my last place in the birth order when my family was no longer food insecure and my mother had time to give me a child's multivitamin daily.
As a result I've come to the conclusion that at least some of the wide difference between the average male and female body height and mass is actually child gender favoritism and body shaming (not that guys don't get weight shamed, but that's not usually regardless of muscle mass) resulting in nutritional deficiencies.
Interesting hypothesis. I went down the rabbit hole on it but couldn't find supporting evidence (not to discredit your anecdotal experience of course). Seems if anything slightly the opposite on average. See for example "Sexual dimorphism in body size occurs when ... living standards are high, and health correlate positively with male/female height ratio" here: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32793524/
This wouldn't surprise me at all, tbh. My uncle (first son) is way taller than my dad (second son) because back in the day my family didn't have much money, and they prioritized feeding the oldest son. Same genetics, different childhood diet. Uncle is like 6'2", my dad is like 5'6". If there had been a girl sibling involved, she probably would have gotten even less food.
Fake.
If this was real, they would also have had a loaf of bread each. Hard to miss 15 loaves of bread.
Average 15 year old behavior.
Damn... how much was that chicken in Whole Foods?
They are about $8 for roughly 2 lbs at about 1000 calories a lb if you eat the skin and all the meat.
That would be completely reasonable as a large meal as it is about half the daily calories for an average sized male teenager, especially if they are very active.
Am I misreading your comment, or are you saying an average male teen needs 4000 calories a day?
If they are active then yeah, 4000 calories is not at all unusual as a teen.
Damn, maybe that's why I didn't grow
This is unironically a big part of why people, on average, used to be shorter and why populations become taller as their country/region becomes wealthier.
And not empty calories, that’s the important part
Easily. From 14-17 I lived on a 5,000 calorie diet and struggled to gain weight, between marching band, PE, shop class, an avid skating hobby, a girlfriend, and growing in height. I could have easily eaten an entire chicken at the time.
Growing takes a lot of calories.
If you're a bad enough dude, a whole rotisserie chicken is only one heart.
Yeah, pretty much.
I remember eating 4000 to 6000 calories a day in high school. I could put away two double whopper meals - large fries, large coke - in a sitting.
Or a 16" pizza, with plenty of room for Jo-jos.
Or 4 big plates of spaghetti, with half a loaf of garlic bread, and salad until there was no more salad to be had.
I was scrawny. Too scrawny for high school sports. 5'9", but I didn't break 100lbs until my senior year.
If they are physically active, yes.
$8 doesn't sound that bad for Whole Foods.
Better than eating a McDonald's meal.
8.99 -9.99 for conventional, and some times if they go near by date, its 50% off. or if you have discount its more.
Being a teenage boy is hungry work.
Probably football players. It’s almost hell week
Is this a commentary on how much food a 15 year old can eat or on shrinkflation. :)
I don't know about these kids, but among my teenage friend group, we would have had to pool our money to afford one rotisserie chicken. Maybe two if we were rolling in it.
I thought they were super cheap or something. I don't eat them myself.
Sure, but we couldn't find jobs, so we were all broke.
The Hound approves.
At that age I would have had one if those and asked for seconds.
That actually sounds pretty good right now, Ihaven't eaten anything but a banana today.
It's the little things
Valid
The real teenage behavior starts when you figure out if they all planned to take a shit in the woods to see how big they can make the pile. Or if they didn't do that, they come back and start recounting how they destroyed their toilets and made Mom and Pop angry.
Male puberty as an adult rocked. Being that level of “eat an entire pizza” hungry and being able to sate it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Best parts of college were splitting a pitcher of beer with a bro and eating the kind of pizza that leaves a snail trail.
When I was a kid we had personal pizzas.
I used to eat a 16" large "thin crust" by myself.
I used to inhale a whole regular-sized pizza. Now I have 3/4 of a 400g small. With cheese, if I'm feeling brave.
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/lvXL_gZzabA