How many of the choices you made in high school actually affect your adult life today?
Was talking about home economics as a school subject in another thread and i realised that for me personally, taking "Food Tech" (cookery gcse) would have impacted me pretty negatively, even though generally speaking GCSEs don't have much of an effect on the rest of your life or education.
So i wonder if anyone else has similar revelations? My post title is also phrased more openly than that, so it doesn't have to be school specific, but i am mainly interested in things from the teenage time period.
::: spoiler Another choice i made in HS, for instance: i remember being really glad to have a medium-size group of friends in high school, but in retrospect they were terrible people and i realise that there would have been huge benefits to spending more time alone and in the library - yes, i genuinely look back and wish i studied more, lol. Something which I'm always told never happens.
This one "affects me as an adult" because i ended up entering adulthood with several friends determined to force their personality to be cool, relying on manosphere influencers to determine how they should behave; a lot of these people i didn't want to know in the first place. :::
decided to start smoking weed in high school
now as an adult i vape it every day
it helps me out with so much. zero regrets
Installing Linux turned my life towards computers and now I'm doing a compsci degree
In grade 12 i took calculus instead of an easy A in art class, i figured it might be useful if i went into engineering which i was vaguely interested in at the time and it helped when i did actually take calc in university
Probably most of them, at least in small "butterfly effect" ways. But mostly, I paid attention in class and remember how to think without having to have answers spoon fed to me. So many people I work with, of a variety of age groups, just seem to lack that skill.
You mentioned home economics, and I only had to take one semester as a required elective (yes, you read that right) and just kind of coasted through it. While I didn't think much of it at the time, but I appreciate knowing how to use a sewing kit to make small repairs. I've patched several holes in my favorite "lounging around the house" robe and extended its life probably 3 times.
None. Every year at school was so boring I forgot what happened, but I don't care since I had to learn everything on my own way after it happened.
same, they shunted all the poor performers into "Baby sitting class" so the school doesnt get bad marks and lose funding. its a game to them, plus all the participation grades, albiet less severe than it was today. we were at the beggining of the stages of that happening.(still had ton of summer school to graduate people. these days likely they are passing people who are failing regardless.
:(
Don't be sad, I forgave everyone and I now have almost the life I wanted :)
Does forgiving my ex for cheating on me count? I think I wouldn't be so socially unhealthy if I stood up for what I believed in.
Sounds like an instantly actionable change. Get out thsre and speak your mind
Too real
I didn't start getting stoned out of my mind until my late 30s so I guess my brain developed normally.
Go me.
I smoked weed in high school, a fair bit lol, I was definitely considered one of the "stoner kids" of the school.
In my 20's I stopped for the most part (only a joint here or there, maybe 2 or 3 times max per year), many of the kids I went to school with that were all anti drugs and anti drinking as kids became hard drug addicts in their 20's.
Now in my 30's I smoke again, much easier now that I can comfortably afford this habit
I didn't start until I was almost 40! But I think I've more than caught up for lost time.
Huge win!!!
The things you THOUGHT were the most important, never matter at all, but everything that you considered background noise (school, family, jobs, morals and values) that shit will determine EVERYTHING that happens after high school.
Positively impact? Not much that I'm aware of. Negatively impact? I mean the bullying caused so mental mental damage that it's still affecting me and making life harder 13 years later. I'm now getting help from a therapist and have been for the past year, but the road to normalcy is long and rough.
I don't think getting bullied is a choice. I was bullied for a while until I started wresting, then I beat the shit out of three kids and the same time who continued to try to and no one said a negative word to me again.
Ended up becoming a SpEd teacher for behavior disorder, autism, and emotionally disturbed kids. I know it's not easy, but you have to just not give a shit about what other people think besides your support group. Like close friends, family, ect. Everyone just wants to tear you down because they're unhappy so fuck them and their opinions.
I resolved to go to college out of state. I did and it went well.
depends on the college you went to. i went into the reviews of my college(yelp) at least most colleges got bad reviews and 1 chick gave her own experience she thought the state uni wasnt good enough for her, so she transferred out to ucla, she had a much better opportunities than her friends who stayed(they all struggled after graduating). i can see that, because they were willing to push people through and out as quickly as possible(offering no workshops or warnings how different degrees are very deficient in the job market despite being a very popular one) and not informing people of independant studies or lab work. they want as many incoming freshmans as possible to milk them for all that tuition, and state funding. no wonders by covid, at least the end of the lockdown they were STRUGGLING to get freshmans enrolled in most of the state universities around my region. last i heard they started to giving exceptions to HS students so they can enroll asap into state colleges. the more resources/prestigious seems to have more resources devoted to post-grad experience(externships/labwork).
Can't think of any offhand. Until college I pretty much just coasted along doing what was expected of me. Didn't make any mold-breaking decisions until my 20s.
The elective classes I chose played a huge part in who I became. More so than friendships or cringey moments or anything that happened in the mandatory classes.
I took home ec and made crappy fried rice and sewed an apron with the pattern upside down. I thought it was lame at the time. Today I cook every day and I can sew well enough to fix things. They are ridiculously valuable skills.
I took electronics and made a dumb little siren that pitched up and down when you held down a button. Once every couple of years, I need some simple bit of electronics and I design a circuit board, etch it onto copper, and solder on some components. If I hadn’t chosen that elective classes, I’d think that sort of thing was super advanced.
The hilariously basic “IT” class (I made a PowerPoint slideshow with animation and fart sound effects) is probably responsible for me having a career in software development.
Give me back my fucking taco!
I had to choose an elective in 9th grade. Nothing looked interesting except for drafting, but I sucked at drawing. I took the drafting class.
Now it's ~25 years later and I can go around town and point out the buildings I had a hand in designing.
All of them and none of them
The wise Jesuaurus has spoken.
I feel like so many of my days don't actually contribute to the grander life narrative, myself - it's a bit frustrating.
I know the solution though
Go on...
Less time playing video games, more time shaking up the routine. New tasks you don't do regularly make the day feel longer.
Good stuff! For me, that's figuring out how to automate as much as I can of my everyday tasks, both at work and home, with my poor coding skills, haha.
I chose languages instead of the science side because I was told to do so because I was a girl. So now I'm an unemployed translator instead of a doctor.
you can be by going into stem too, alot of paths in stem are very unclear and fuzzy, and most of them significant experience to even get into. currently the most "useful" stem is basically programming, nursing, and some other health jobs. every other stems requires alot of research and lab experience.
Having an abortion. It was probably the one good decision I made for several years, and the only one not informed by chaos and despair. I mourned on the day for years, but have had zero regrets.
Declining an ADHD-evaluation. I didn't think having another diagnosis would help, nor understand the symptoms enough to think I had it, and thought it would only work against me because of the stigma (certain jobs, licenses etc). This is probably the one I regret the most. It could have changed so many of the other choices.
Those are probably the ones that single handedly would have impacted my life the most if made different.
Wait, how? I thought you're legally allowed to hold the diagnosis from them, or am I misunderstanding?
It probably depends on where you're from, but you for example couldn't do military training or become a pilot with a diagnosis, and you needed a doctors note that you were reliably medicated for a long time to be allowed a driving learners permit. Some things have changed since then though, since this was decades ago.
Pretty crazy that they used to encourage people to stay undiagnosed and unmedicated to go into dangerous careers, rather than the other way around.
Oh, right, okay, you meant mission-critical stuff. I was thinking of the ADA Act and the "No response" option when job applications ask if you have a disability.
I spent the entirety of my high school years dating one girl, at the time I was in the thick of things and didn't realize it, but it wasn't until we broke up that I realized how disfunctional we/she were and made me realize that my life with her was the exact opposite of everything I wanted out of life.
I spent five years with her and was on a fast track to a very different life, and I hopped off that train at the very last moment.
I refuse to argue with my wife, I try to be compassionate to those around me, strive for financial stability, and take care of my body and mind. All things I didn't have with my first real girlfriend from high school.
Furthermore her constant pregnancy scares (yes I wore protection, every time.) taught me that I have zero urge to be a parent. Every time she told me she might be expecting, but subsequently refused to take a pregnancy test, my entire existence was filled with dread. I couldn't contemplate a single possibility where having a child resulted in anything good.
That might be my biggest visible 'scar' from those days the circumstances of my life and finances are drastically different, but that revelation remains consistent.
My brother dated a gal that did that pregnancy scare crap. He was with her for three years. Even if you wanted a kid one day, at that time even, nobody wants a kid or pregnancy like that. Glad you got out of that situation. I only have experience with the person that did it to my brother but she was very controlling, abusive, and unhinged if she happened to not be the center of attention in whatever room she happened to grace with her presence.
So your lady is also child-free? That's awesome and rare.
I'm curious to get more details about this.
I wish I’d stuck with the vocational classes and ignored the utter morons I was surrounded by.
I could have made a killing and been retired by now, but I thought I was too smart and went to college, got in a bunch of debt, and crushed my soul in advertising and web dev for my best years.
did those classes had post-hs training? the pseudo-vocaitonal class i was i was woodwork, teaches you how to properly measure, cut wood etc. the teacher did try hard to keep the course from being cancelled for future semesters, but people wasnt interested for the most part in doing the class only the bare minimum.
I was getting apprentice credit I could have used to shorten an apprenticeship after graduation, but I dropped the box classes senior year and went to college for design instead.
I eventually ended up using a tiny bit of the knowledge for interactive museum and store front installations, but I’d have made a killing in commercial electrician work in the mean time.
Same. Last year of sixth form, when we're applying for unis i was given really bad guidance for where to apply. I saw an apprenticeship for my degree and thought "if i can get paid for it, why not get paid for it??" But didn't look into it any further because i was lazy. Wish i was grtting paid for my suffering right now.
The decisions I made in high school were things like to take AP classes(I started college with enough credits to be a junior, so instead of studying I partied and ended up finishing late, so I guess that decision didn't help me out), to read books(this one helped a ton, I was a voracious reader all my life and I can tell the difference against people who don't read. I still read today and I'm pretty sure it's much easier now), to play basketball (I have always been in better shape that my peers and I've maintained that into my late 30s).
The decisions I made like who to date, kinda still affect me today. I definitely didn't chase after girls who there was a mutual interest, but rather girls who were "easy" targets for me. This decision has haunted my dating life. It took me nearly a decade of work to undo the damage of this habit. I am engaged now, but man I made it so much harder for myself.
The friends I chose in high school are a mixed bag. I am still friends with them to this day and for that I am very grateful. But at the same time, we all went through dramatic changes in viewpoints, politics. But a lot of the people I hung out with in high school I don't even talk to anymore.
Saaame. Just yesterday, when you posted this, i met someone who told me she needed to start reading more - i wanted to tell her it's fine and by reading at all she's so far ahead of many people in keeping good habits for life. You can just tell how "well read" people are.
Actually reading for fun made me an academic minor deity compared to other kids, in the days of social media roll-out. Now I have to imagine how much better the kids who don't/aren't allowed to use AI are doing compared to those who do.
There might be a bit of this in all of our lives.
typing has proved to be very useful. My classes allowed me to get college credit but I still went to college for five years. I sorta wish I would have grabbed as many non academic classes as possible. Maybe like one per semester or something.
Me too. i'm grateful for having taken art, for instance. Learned so much more about how to learn and be independent than i ever thought i would. Learned about referencing and analysing the influences in design. Actually knowing how to use a camera well has been useful very often in my post school life.
I wish i'd taken a lot more extracurricular stuff, too.
I regret spending so much time playing sports. I didn't have enough time to figure out what I like and what I'm good at and where those things intersect so now I'm just kinda adrift as an adult. My parents forced me to play though because they were shitheads that thought my not terribly athletic self would get a full ride college scholarship through hard work so I had zero financial support for college as well, I was just glad to escape their manipulative bullshit. The lesson I should have learned was that natural talent beats hard work every time, it sucks.
most people arnt informed alot of scholarship,, grants go unawareded and dont need significant gpa achievements to get. its probably the fault of High school not preparing people properly on financial aid.
Only one: dropping out. Best choice I ever made.
How so?
It put me on a path where I did what I liked doing, instead of what I was supposed to do. Today I get paid handsomely for a set of niche skills in IT that are hard to find. If I'd gone the normal route I would probably instead have been confined to being some sort of corporate sysadmin that spends most of the day fixing people's email.
Interesting!
I had a friend who discouraged me from going into software development after highschool. I was always into computers, but math isn't really my thing - I would definitely have crashed and burned fast if I tried to study computer science at university. Years later I ended up doing a trade school 'degree' (German Ausbildung) in software dev, though, and that worked really well for me.
My professional life isn't going well due to medical reasons, though. There's a possibility that I could have avoided the worst of that if I never went to university and just went to trade school right away, my university years kinda fucked me up.
Good on your friend! I was in the same boat, but was encouraged to go to uni and very much regret it at this point.
That's too bad. I hope you can recover.
My entire career was steered by my decision on what degree to take while I was in high school. I was in a government scholarship program where tuition was free but you could only take a STEM degree for college in exchange.
Lots of STEM degrees out there, doesn't sound like a bad deal. Are you happy with how it went?
For sure, no regrets. It was at the time when tech careers were just about to blow up. Some of my friends who pursued science degrees (biology, chemistry, etc.) eventually shifted to IT careers anyway, but didn’t have the headstart/advantage of having an IT-oriented degree.
i know former a former coworker that switched from being a part time teacher to IT/tech, although she mightve been affected by layoffs. bio and chem requires way too much experience in the field to have a career, plus you have to be in a lab with number of years under your belt by graduation time, since labs are quire limited and colleges often do not tell students of labwork at all, people end up with a catch 22 for jobs.(becausprivate sector bio labs already wanted fully trained graduates because they are too lazy and saving money to train it themselves from no experience.) i think there is why there is a shortage in the field, its gatekept this way.
I have ADHD. In most of my formative years, I was on Ritalin and it wrecked my mental health. In high school, I pulled myself off it and my school grades tanked. I regret not finding an alternative other than "Caffeine makes me think somewhat right."
Why does ritalin wreck your mental health?
So does that mean you put yourself back on it after or what happened?
Never went back. Still haven't.
But... since your grades tanked, isn't that bad?
I went to the mental hospital when I was 16. Lost several friends due to them thinking I was crazy.its how you know who your true friends are. It affects me today because I started a habit of running to the hospital when life gets stressful. I've been out of almost a whole year now. It has been 17 years and 42 hospitalizations by now.
I made good grades and got multiple scholarships that gave me a free ride through undergrad plus enough to buy my first gaming PC. If not for that then I'd be owing 60k in debt instead of the 20k. I also would have missed out on the PC hobby.
i heard alot of scholarship and grants get unawareded, so alot of students dont know its out there. part of its, HS fault for not guiding them towards those things. and you dont need to be a top student to get them.
My state had one that was well advertised. You don't make anything below a C and you get a full ride, but you have to finish in 4 years.
Mostly not very much but I think who I socialized with and where I chose to go to college were things that had a big impact.
I view life as a deterministic "chain reaction" of current events following from past events and me just being along for the ride so I assume all of it affects my adult life. An insignificant seeming change then could dramatically have affected the trajectory of my life. I wouldn't change anything because it all is what led to me being what I am now.
Does that mean you absolutely love yourself in every way?
Yes. I'm absolutely flawless.
Anything else?
Well, now that borders on arrogance lol but I was going to say that that sure seemed like a healthy view, because there are certainly things I'd back and change if I could, even if it was mere exposure to certain ideas or my interpretation of them
I thought you were being a smartass - sorry about that.
No, there are thing I'd like to be otherwise but broadly speaking I'm satisfied where I am and I wouldn't want to start tweaking anything because I can't know the unforeseen consequences of it. This is good enough.
Sorry, I had vaguely felt like my sentence back there could get misinterpreted after I typed it, but I didn't know how to word it in any other way, so I had just proceeded. Haha.
This is... amazingly insightful (even though we should already know about this through all the time-travel dramedies we see, lol, but I guess I just forget to apply it to my own life regrets)... What a great neutralizer of negativity. Thanks for the reminder...
if HS in my school had proper way of introducing algebra,adv algebra, chemistry i would taken it and i wouldve done much better in college with it.(they dont introduce algebra to students in ms, only for the more "Advanced students"). except HS was just rehashing MiddleSchool courses.
but they already expected you to know those subject at from the getgo.
Most
Every single one. We are built from every experience we have. Any choice I made back then would have resulted in a different me.
Sure, but the whole point is what the biggest changes likely were.
I'm curious how a cooking class would have affected you negatively.
Because we only get a set of 11 GCSEs we can take (+ in my school some people get "further maths" as a bonus one for being higher maths class, or can take their native language as a gcse), taking food tech would have left me with less knowledge basically, and less options of other things to take. Every subject i took feels like it was worthwhile. Food tech doesn't seem to provide value added e.g helping you get work in kitchens.
I took a course for fun that ended up being a requirement for the program I ended up doing my Bachelor's in. It wasn't a requirement at my original choice of school, but it was in the one I ended up going to.
This about sums it up