What is something that most people normally do that you find weird?
A lot of people kiss their pets or non-human animals in general. I find that very weird. I understand that it is a sign of affection but it seems so off. One reason is that I doubt whether animals really understand this. Also it seems to be on a level of intimacy to me that I find weird sharing with a pet. Not necessarily romantically or sexually (that would be even more weird and wrong and probably illegal). But it is still "more". I am not sure whether I can really explain why exactly I find that weird.
Anyway, what is something that is weird to you but not to most other people?
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I kiss my parrot because it is a cultural ritual we have built together. I make smoochy noises at him and he mimics them back to me because he wants to communicate. I kiss his little beak and he supposes this is a thing I must like doing so he starts doing it back. It makes me smile and make happy noises, which he recognizes. Now we have a fun thing we do that means we’re buddies. He trains me to offer up my nose for him to smooch if he makes a specific little whispery sound. His only reward is the opportunity to boop me on the nose with his beak but he evidently finds this incredibly amusing and will occasionally whisper at me relentlessly until I give in. He will let me smooch the back of his head at nighttime because it means he gets to stay up later. His feathers are soft and he smells nice so I like it too.
This was a delightful read that made me smile, thank you for sharing!
I want to echo what Velma said...I recently received an incredibly painful text from my older brother, but your example of how animals love other animals, really grounds me. Im tearing up, but in relief, in awe, and in utter joy. This little anecdote is a great gift. Thanks for sharing!
Animals are easy to love, sometimes easier than loving other humans. Ultimately we all just want to connect, I’m glad I did with you today!
Don't Artisans "stop hiring humans" sign make more sense now?
There is just something evil and repulsive about humans.
We're vile.
But sometimes cute also.
I'm stealing that
grab as you please, it's from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=291ET6Py6H8
Hope I'm not ruining the vibe, but it's a little disconcerting watching him do this positive performance of a happy song while wearing Leon "The Professional" shades...
Oo what kind of parrot? And what country do you guys love birds that much? I want to visit 😁 we have 2, ourselves.
He’s a green cheeked conure. I also have an African Grey who doesn’t like to be smooched. What kind do you have?
Aww I love Greys!! They're so smart and have such a wide vocabulary.
We sort of happened upon them from a couple who needed to surrender, but a Blue Fronted Amazon and more recently, a Goffin's Cockatoo.
My Grey is kind of a dummy (or maybe just too smart to perform for my approval) but I love her anyway. She’s the sweetest and loves just hanging out on my shoulder.
I had a Blue Fronted years ago, he was the best boy ever. He was an amazing singer and mimic and loved to cuddle. Thanks for taking in birds that need homes!!
Beautiful. I hope you post a video of your parrot doing the smoochie noises because that's just perfect...
I too used to think that kissing a cat on it's head was weird. Then I got a cat.
I will smother my cat in kisses specifically to get the “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME” reaction.
And when you tell them how watching (typically) men get sweaty, musky, dirty and aggressive, chasing a ball (or rubbing their half-naked bodies together with one another), how that has some 'similarities' to gay porn, how they get really defensive and insecure.
'N-no, you got it all wrong, I'm not gay! I just like watching athletic men get rough with one another, all pent up, sweaty, needy... I mean uh... Oh yeah, sports! It's so un-gay, it's like, looping around itself, with ungayness!'
'So it's like canceling the un part out?'
'Exactly! Wait a minute...'
I really enjoy watching men’s sports with straight men for exactly this reason. We’ll sit around and they’ll talk about how such and such a man spent so much time in the weight room, and he’s been putting on muscle, and he’s low to the ground and explosive, and it’s like, dude you are clearly talking about how bro is caked up from doing squats all offseason, how do you not realize how extremely homoerotic this whole discussion is? I find it cute how flummoxed they get about it when you say something about how the player’s looking cute in those shorts or whatever, but it’s also fun to head down to the women’s sports bars and see the lesbians get all flustered about the women’s sports teams. It’s very different because the women’s sports fans are generally much more willing to be open and honest about how such and such player is so cute or hot or however, and it’s less… lecherous? objectifying? than the men’s fans. It’s a pretty stark cultural difference that enjoy seeing in different fandoms.
Team sports is an expression of latent tribalism in many of us. Might be why you don’t see it.
And most fans of a sport have played it in their youth, so there’s unexpressed longing for lost youth.
It starts as something socialized with your male role models, spreads to your peers at school — and eventually is just another ritual that you can find comfort in via its seasonal predictability — there’s always another game to be played.
Grid iron football is indeed rather homoerotic, but … let’s say ice hockey?
Those ice hockey girlies in the pwhl be kissing on each other and getting married there's no way you can convince me it isn't homoerotic.
But that’s all off ice gaysex
Plenty of gay men playing these big, manly, homoerotic sports, and having a grand time!
Most of em are just a little quiet about it, for obvious gay panic reasons. That's less of a problem as time goes on, but still.
Don't like sports but have never been a fan of this take. It feels indirectly homophobic (in that you're saying something that you know is not sexual in nature is gay because you know the other person will view it as a negative or bad thing) and would probably not be taken as much of a joke if it were, say, a gay man watching women's volleyball and their straight friends harassing him about actually being straight.
Just my two cents, I'm sure it's fine in the right circles.
I mean, I guess I can see that, but uh... leans over, whispering being forced on a field during phys ed with a bunch of other teenage guys who's hormones are also raging can, shall we say, awaken things.
So it's not a 'haha, gay' but a '😏 gay' nudge at others, who are themselves usually - in my experience - either at the end of the spectrum: neutral to the thought, or deeply in denial.
The games make no sense to me - what's the point, ya know? But if I know that I feel a certain way about a guy's bulge or body, I know I'm 110% not the only one. Voicing the truth can be amusing :3
For me it's the utter pointless of it. Can this collection of humans push the ball past the other collection of humans? About as relevant as which mouse gets a bit of cheese. Why would I watch or care about the outcome, much less less the second-by-second details of how it came to be?
Wow, that guy throws a ball really really well. Huh, whaddyaknow.
To be fair, the same could be said of all games.
I hope you've had fun playing a game before, and if so, can at least imagine that it would be interesting to watch top level players of that game accomplish what you couldn't.
The biggest difference I see with sports is the level of obsession over the game and the assumption that every masculine presenting person shares that obsession.
I think that's one of my favorite aspects. As I've gotten older, it's hard to find low-stakes social encounters to hang out with my friends. The local women's soccer team is doing well in the champions league is a good excuse to head out to sit in the summer sun on a wednesday night by the sound.
But my collection of humans hails from a point geographically closer to me than the other collection of humans!
Bro doesn't know what fun is
Partly agreed. I find competitive sports and its fanbase very strange. However, doing sports for the sake of doing sports or for the sake of keeping some physical or mental health feels more natural to me.
Convince me those aren't the same thing.
I have relatives who unironically refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's Football Team"
:vomit:
How often I tell people I'm not religious I'm a sports fan. They fill the same niche. People like tradition. People like ceremony. People like community. Some people like being able to you know sit in front of a pedophile and have him preach them for a while. I prefer to sit in front of a person hardlining multiple drugs and watch him put a ball through a hoop. Different Strokes for different folks.
Ooh, kinky!
MMA/ufc the SHOWS fans, turns out the audience can be as conservatives as the fighters, owners themselves, not surprising its all about psychopaths trying to hurt each other.
Sports are fine for like kids' recreation, but the trillions that are spent on the pro sports industry could go to something better.
not washing their hands after using the bathroom..
I apply the George Carlin process to hand washing. After all when in public I know where my dick has been but that janky faucet and restroom door knob has been touched by every wet handed dipshit who put their hands through the germ infested air dryer in the place.
This is something I especially notice at airports. Depending on which state I'm in the ratio of men washing their hands changes drastically
Well, come on. What states are grosser than others?
Come on, you know it's the South...
I'm in a building with multiple offices for multiple companies and one of them has a massage place.
Each floor has one set of shared bathrooms for men and women
The masseuse guy goes to the bathroom and I've noticed him there multiple times taking a dump, then walking out without washing his hands
And he then massages people all over...
"But I didn't touch anything dirty."
Hanta virus splashes have entered the chat.
Or people who flush with the toilet lid open. Gross
EEewww. You win dammit.
Cats and dogs (as well as lots of other animals often kept as pets) both tend to lick at those they feel affection toward. Grooming behaviors from animals are typically signs of trust, affection, or shows that they look after you and are trying to protect you.
I figure that most pets very much understand what getting kissed by their human means.
Evolving cross species social skills is a positive survival trait. It's not only easy to show that pets understand a lot of what we do but has been deeply studied
Hahaha yes! They can feel the love 100%
🤗
Regarding my cat: ahem
If not for kisses, why made of soft??
For cuddles of course.
I would also not do this for a human, I think. Humans are too corrupt at heart, they have to make every sign of affection mean something other than it is.
While animals don't have jobs, or dumb fears. They just want a cuddle.
What the fuck
You would be objectively wrong on that. It's been shown that affection to animals fires off the same parts of the brain in them as it does in humans, and delivers the same chemicals.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6826447/
Just because animals can't communicate like you or me (though I firmly believe pets have a language that you can understand if you own one long enough), it doesn't mean they don't have the same feelings of bonding and closeness. Biologically we're all very similar, so the Oxytocin that we get from being loved is identical to the oxytocin that THEY get when being loved.
Every cat I've ever met has a nice little language. It was always possible to tell when they were happy or annoyed at the very least. I love them. I always hope they know I love them.
Thank you for the link. Does the paper reveal anything about kissing specifically? Haven't had the time to read it yet.
I know that humans and other animals can feel affection for each other and that physical contact, e.g., by stroking, induces a sensation of 'affective touch' facilitated by C-tactile fibers. So while kissing itself might induce similar effects by similar pressure force and temperature, I wonder whether it really makes a difference to 'poking' your pet with your finger in a similar way. In other words: if the physical sensation is similar, does another animal understand a kiss versus another form of affective touch?
Dogs have the ability to read body language. So a gentle behaviour like kissing or cuddling would definitely be perceived differently than an abrupt gesture like poking them.
Not in the way you're thinking of ("my human loves me!"), but they almost certainly understand it as a form of scent-marking ("we are tribe-family"), which is a pretty similar concept.
Have you had (m)any pets?
Idk about all pets but dogs absolutely understand it’s a form of affection, they kiss each other too, they’ve been with humans tens of thousands of years… they get it
Cat's are super social and very smart. They get it too. Hell, even budgies understand it.
Celebrity gossip and worship
Caring about sports. Like they devote what amounts to a part time job watching grown men compete in children's games. Watching Competitive exercise while they melt into a couch pounding junk food. Watching other people talk about how well they exercised. Discussing daily with their friends and family and coworkers... All about one group of people in a colored shirt moving a ball slightly better than people with a different colored shirt.
When I realized that guys typically need an activity to bond together, sports start to make a lot more sense. Sports are just a catalyst to male friendship. Yeah guys take the sports way too far, but it makes it more fun if there's an emotional high or low when they watch it.
Other than making some sort of vegan statement, what I find really weird is when people start talking to you in the grocery line.
Like, how are you happy to be there? I just want to get in, get my stuff, and get out. Socializing is super awkward at the best of times, so inviting it in that setting just feels weird to me. I have a buddy who always strikes up conversation with strangers, it's awkward shopping with him.
This. Why the fuck are you (random stranger in line/mall/gas pump/whatever) making small talk with me? What do you want? Oh I get it you're one of those people for whom constant meaningless chatter is soothing. It turns your brain off.
It is the opposite to me. Please. Shut up.
I understand that is not relaxing for you, but maybe to you understand a bit better: this kind of micro relationship is the basis for establishing the empathy needed for helping strangers in need.
Maybe no one needs anything anymore, but rewind to a less reliable world, and after a friendly chat on the road, then you see their wagon broken down on the road, you’re more likely to take a risk to help them out — you’ve established a base line of communication and empathy.
I don’t think they find it soothing, i think they’ve practiced it enough is not taxing, and they’re just keeping alive an old habit — even if true they’re not fully aware why.
I'm guilty of dreading small talk myself, but no, this isn't the case. Damn near everyone would be better off with more micro-relationships, more empathy, and more community support these days.
Problem is you never know if you're going to have a nice chat about the weather, or get to listen to gramp's reinterpretation of a talk radio political screed aimed at yourself or someone you love. And since so many things try to divert a large fraction of our attention to rage baiting political blurbs with no actual content, celebrity gossip, and outright propaganda, it's not unreasonable to be wary of the possibility of getting more of the same from a source you can't easily filter, turn off, or click away from.
People, especially those who are more introverted, seem exhausted by it all even while still responding to it. The psychological hooks are set pretty deep.
I'm enough of a conspiratorial thinker to believe this is by design. An attempt to move us away from empathy and community and teach us to rely on corporations and products for the kind of support you're describing. Don't wait for a kind stranger to help you change that wagon wheel, get a trail-side assistance package at the trading post before you set out...
You’re right. Someone’s benefiting from pissing in the common well. And it’s easier to put the piss in than take it out.
I’m just explaining the origins of this behavior — and why it might be worth it — even in the age of outrage.
I think we’d all benefit from the practice needed to make it easy to say “i appreciate your point of view, but i don’t talk politics with strangers. Hope you have a great day.”
Exactly, and i didn't mean to hijack your comment. It's just that it's something that bugs the hell out of me, but that I completely understand at the same time.
I've started heading it off with stuff like, "I don't watch the news, that's how they send out the subliminal messages." You have to be careful with those though, you could start a micro-relationship that goes on far longer than you want it to.
By practice I got to the point small talk with strangers does not feel strange. And by doing this I noticed that I help strangers way more often.
Last time I noticed a man carrying his heavy kiting equipment. He was really struggling. I had some time so I helped hin carrying to the other end of the city.
Old me would never do that. I noticed I am also way better wigh kids. They like me and I am the best uncle.
Originally my personality is being a introverted geek whose enegry is drained by the people. But I wanted to change that. It worked wonderfully. It shows how much in a control of your life you can be.
Making a small talk is the only thing that changes someone from a complete stranger to a someone you know. Then they can tbecome a friend or even a best friend.
Most of us got our friends mostly at random. In middle school it was the one guy who randomly sit with me, same in college.
I think we are fine with total strangers becomming our friends, because most of the people are kind of really cool.
Don't want new friends.
Especially not randos.
All your current friends were once randos. And were you specifically looking for new friends when you got your current friends? Or were those some time ago some randos that said hi?
Thanks for clearing the LZ, friend. Vegan statement incoming.
I do legitimately feel that eating the products of what is often by definition sexual abuse to be really fuckin weird, especially when one could just eat something that isn't.
I wear big, obvious headphones most of the time I'm anywhere in public. This usually helps to prevent people talking to me. Less of a problem here in Japan in general, though, which I like.
"Other than making some sort of vegan statement" is such an oddball exception.
I don't mind the casual conversation. But do mind proselytizing.
I keep meaning to ask you when I see you on here: do you have a go to vegan pancake recipe?
It's honestly been a while since I've made pancakes, truth be told, but I recall this recipe being good:
https://www.seriouseats.com/vegan-aquafaba-pancake-recipe
Looks fun! I'll have to give them a shot!
So many things:
That's all that comes to mind at the moment, but I know I've felt that way about many other behaviors. I'll try to remember to add any others that come to mind in an edit below.
I have tried the "no shoes inside" thing and can't stand the constant feeling of dirt particles on my bare feet even while I'm walking on the floor behind a swiffer, broom, or mop. I'd rather keep my shoes on and just assume the floor is not 100% clean even when someone has just cleaned it.
But I have a logistics question: I know you have a place for shoes by the front door, but what do you do about the back door? Or in my case the three sliding-glass doors onto balconies that I use daily? Is one supposed to keep going to the front door to get shoes and carrying them through the house? My balconies overhang the street and get a lot of road grime, plus my plants drop leaves etc., so shoes are very necessary out there. And many people have back yards. I'm curious about what you do.
I 100% agree about the feeling of bare feet, which is why I have dedicated indoor slippers that I immediately put on when I take off my shoes.
As for the back door and outside in general, I also have a separate pair of outdoor slippers at every entryway. They are the Crocs on the clock work slip-on specifically.
Huh. 8 can't wear crocs, they mess up my plantar fascia. The shoes I wear 98%of the time are a version of these sparkly Skechers, with great arch support: https://theflipflopzone.com/products/119631-vinyasa-happy-spring
Oof I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm also glad to hear that you've found something that is both fashionable and comfortable for you. Do you think it would be possible to have an additional pair of those sparkly Sketchers for each entry of your domicile so that you could live the "no shoes inside" life?
I've tried it but I could't keep track of which was which, especially when I go out one door, across the big balcony (10 meters) and in the other door, to a different room, which would have another "outdoor" pair but no "indoor" pair sitting there. I would have to put down the watering can, go back around the other way, and back around through the apartment.
I also noticed no difference in floor dirt when I was trying to be strict about it. So it seemed like a lot of attention paid for no payoff, and I stopped.
Oh yeah that does sound annoying. I always reenter from the same place I left and haven't run into that issue, but I've also never had a 10 meter balcony with multiple entry points.
The first thing that comes to mind in that situation would be to get oversized outdoor slippers that could fit the indoor slippers inside. That way you always have the indoor slippers, but you would still need to manage moving the outdoor slippers back to the other door.
I mentioned this in another comment but I'll somewhat repeat it here. For me personally, it's not really about cleanliness, but instead it's about the feeling. Something about wearing shoes inside feels wrong to me, especially on carpet. Even the thought makes me cringe.
I understand the gut-level aspect, even though for me it's the yucky feeling of bare feet on wood or tile floors. No carpet or rugs in our place, it's easier for the wheelchair. Which by the way can't change its wheels when coming in. I tried outdoor shoes but they were disgusting in a week. I'm trying out a habit of stepping barefoot into the room, (from the balcony) picking up my shoes and clapping them outside before putting them back on, rubbing each already-dusty-feeling foot on my leg as I do. We shall see. I'm terrible at consistency.
Slippers. I have a pair of Crocs at the back door and my shoes at the front door.
If you don't wear shoes inside you tend to track less dirt in so walking barefoot doesn't feel dirty
You're not wrong, but I don't think this applies to people with shedding pets or small children.
By the time I get to my apartment any dust I picked up outdoors (Los Angeles, little mud and no snow) has been lost to the hallway carpet. Meanwhile road grime blows in through every air gap, and the great majority of household dust is generated by indoor life, whether it's the detritus of our own skin, lint from fabrics, particles of paper, cooking vapors, asthma nebulizer, and even cleaning products. What has made the most difference is using a MERV13 filter in my HVAC and keeping the doors and windows shut except when I go out to my balcony garden to tend to my plants.
Dust =/= dirt. Can you actually feel dust regularly? I can't but idk maybe I'm used to it or something.
Or maybe I live somewhere with less dust/grime on the wind?
I live in LA by the 405 so probably.
I'll be honest - this is a terrible habit that i'm unlearning myself, and i wouldn't have ever done it if not for friends and family who normalised it to me.
I totally agree with all the things you listed.
I tried participating when I was younger for similar reasons, but I could never really pull it off like they could and always felt wrong when trying.
In glad my list resonated with you.
If I insult you in a friendly manner, you are a good friend of mine. I would never insult someone like that that I didn't like.
Example: I play disc golf. Par is usually three. I was playing with my friends and a new guy. I wasn't having a very good day and told the new guy, "In case you haven't noticed, four is my favorite number." And my buddy said, "And six is his second favorite number." I thought that was hilarious because he is a friend. If he didn't like me, it could have come across as passive aggressive. It is this context to which I'm referring.
That said, I do have another friend who almost only insults and it does get old.
I think what I struggle with the most is determining what counts as an insult in a friendly manner compared to a non-friendly insult. I personally find it easier for everyone if I avoid any potential insult (except for the very rare scenario where I intend to insult someone I suppose).
My knowledge of disc golf is very limited, so I apologize for not understanding why your favorite number ranking is relevant to the game or how it could be considered funny or insulting based on your relationship with the person you're speaking with.
Oh, I guess I could have been clearer. Just like normal golf, you try to put the disc in the basket in par or less throws, so three. I was throwing four times a lot that day, so not so good. I insulted myself by acting like I simply liked the number four because that's how bad I was throwing. My friend was suggesting that if I wasn't throwing four times to get it in, I was busy throwing six times.
The best jokes are the ones you have to explain.
No worries, I appreciate the clarification very much!
I didn't realize that par in disc golf was consistently three. I've only played normal golf where par can vary drastically from hole to hole. Thanks to your clarification, I now understand your self deprecating joke. I'm still not entirely clear why your friend's comment was friendly and not legitimately insulting, but that's almost certainly on me and my autistic brain.
FYI, it's definitely not always 3, but it is generally 3. The most I've personally seen is par 5.
Ah, I see. That makes sense. Thank you again for the additional clarification!
I have foot problems that make it painful to walk barefoot for more than about 5 minutes. Less on hard surfaces. More on soft ones. So I have flip flops I use inside and regular shoes for outside. So a different reason, but I do get what you're saying.
Oof I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your footwear at least helps alleviate your pain.
It does. Thank you for the sentiment. So much hate on the net. You're a credit to humanity for putting out some positive vibes.
I'm glad to hear that. You are very kind, and I feel like you and your positive vibes are also a credit to humanity. Thank you for these pleasant conversations!
Shoes inside works fine if you wipe your feet thoroughly on the doormat.
For me it's less about cleanliness and more about the feeling. Something about wearing shoes inside, and especially on carpet, just feels wrong to me. It doesn't bother me when other people wear shoes inside, I just find it strange.
I've always found tattoos a bit strange. Not that they bother me in any way - quite the contrary - I just could never really understand why someone would get a name, a quote, a picture, or whatever permanently inked on their skin.
I got mine to be a reminder. Some things you don’t want to take for granted, and it’s nice to remember that.
You could also get one as a sort of badge of honor. Maybe you achieved a life milestone, or beat the odds and survived in someway.
There’s also a thought that you can’t take your body with you, so you might as well have some fun with it while you can. Tattoos can give you a way to express yourself, not unlike fashion, haircuts or anything else. Everything adds to someone’s persona.
They also make for great conversation starters!
For decoration. I like them, and also like scars - bodies move through time and I like when our lives mark them, I guess.
Hey why don’t you wash your hands after going to the bathroom?
? I do. Only at home, it's sometimes before not after. Because hands are considerably more dirty than pussy. So if battling any hint of UTI, washing them before is recommended.
So, I'm not into words or images from pop culture etc. (that's just my taste, I think people should get what they like regardless) but I have three larger pieces on me. All three are original artwork by the artist, I gave them an idea of the general imagery/vibe I was going for and then handed them the reins. Also chose someone who's dominant art style correlated with the style I wanted. I love art and it makes me happy to carry beautiful and original artwork with me wherever I go.
Gossiping, and the inevitable culture of "what will people say?" that comes along with it. I don't really talk about other people when they're not there. And it's really weird when someone introduces you to a new person and they're like "I've heard so much about you". It almost sounds threatening.
Killing each other because their imaginary friends are not friends with each other. Looking at you, religion wars.
Religious wars are usually about power, not actually because they believe in different imaginary beings. Religion gets control of our population or the people in power youth religion to control the population and then they bump heads with another group doing the same thing... and you get war.
The power games are for the people at the top, the ones with money. For the rest of the sheep its [religion, racism, nationalism, patriotism, whatever bogeymen that can be made up]. Just like in the US today. There’s no shortage of complete fundy nutcases wishfully cheering trump’s war in the Middle East as a path to Armageddon when in reality it’s nothing more than trump desperately trying to control the petro energy market as a power and money grab. Except he's an idiot.
Which is indeed true, however, the people who buy into it often do it for religious reasons. You can't start religious wars when the people aren't religious or have a religion that doesn't motivate them to crush others who think differently.
I genuinely struggle to understand this weird social game people play on platforms like Lemmy, where they seem eager to engage with content they don't even like or that pisses them off. It's like joining a bicycle forum only to find out everyone mostly just spends their time there shitting on tricycles.
It's unbelievably bizarre to watch the back-and-forth: someone posts something that reinforces the negative parts of their worldview, then people rush into the comments to signal they think exactly the same way everyone else here does, get showered with upvotes for saying what people want to hear, and that incentivizes them to keep doing it. Meanwhile everyone else sees that as long as you make the right noises, you get to feel included in our little tribe - whose only real common ground is mutual hatred of the outgroup.
I can understand it from an anthropological point of view. We're social primates and this kind of status game is what we do. But it's incredibly difficult for me to put myself in any individual's shoes and figure out how they're seemingly oblivious to the pattern. When I scroll through some people's post histories, that's literally all they do, and it's so fucking weird to me.
I don't get it either. But I still fall for it myself without even realizing it. It's truly bizarre that we all have that tendancy to some degree; I can't fathom why such a behaviour would have evolved to be necessary.
My personal goal is to give my dog 1 million kisses in his lifetime because I know he'll only be around for 10-15 years. It sounds like you've never had a pet or an animal rely on you and I'm sorry for that/I find that weird 🤷🏽♀️
I lost my girl at 8. Didn't quite get there. :-(
Having kids. I just don't get it.
Out of curiosity, what's not to get? It's a biological imperative for the human race to continue. I can absolutely get not wanting kids and choosing to be 'child free', but it's personally not that difficult to understand why people chose to have them.
It might be an imperative for the human race, but not on an individual level. There is no must ... there is no law in the universe that says that we must continue.
In line with the other commenter, I can only speak for myself. Nothing about parenting is appealing to me, and I can't even think of one aspect of my life that would improve. A long list of cons with no pros. I've accepted that people are just wired differently. For me it makes no sense, but others go through great effort and expense to become parents (e.g. those with fertility issues going through various treatments).
Absolutely get that opinion. Nobody should ever feel pressured by society or individuals to have children
I had my kids later in life, having travelled the world and had a few long-term relationships. The version of me that was diving in Thailand, working in bars in New Zealand and exploring catacombs in Paris in his 20s found the concept of having kids almost absurd.
I was 36 when my first son was born, 38 when we had our 2nd. It's an absolutely profound experience and everything else I've experienced pales in comparison to fatherhood. My younger self would never have believed it, and I don't expect anyone who's not got kids to fathom what it's like.
In fact, I fully expect people who read this who don't have kids to find the sentiment condescending and even a little patronising. I know I would have.
Sorry, but to me this sounds the same like a suicidal person saying, they don't get why people want to live.
Of course everyone can do what they want. But I can totally understand someone who doesn't want kids or who wants to off themself. The not being able to understand people wanting to have children part seems a bit pathological to me.
Oh boy! Us childfree people have never heard that one before.
Nothing about parenting is appealing to me. I'm obviously missing whatever the draw, and that's ok. That's not pathological, that's just being honest with one's self. Maybe society should be more honest about what parenting actually entails and accept that it isn't for everyone rather than trying to shoehorn everyone into it.
But I'm not controlled by my biology.
I can be hungry and choose not to eat. I understand the need for reproduction on a species level, but from my point of view having children looks like peer pressure and Stockholm syndrome. There is no upside for the individual.
Can you choose not to breathe or drink? I'm all for people electing not to have kids, but eating is a biological necessity for life. Your analogy isn't the best, mate. You're arguably not controlled by your biology when it comes to reproduction, but what about sex drive? Does that have no impact on your habits or lifestyle? Again, it's possible, but not the norm.
Contraceptives exists. A desire for sex is not a desire to reproduce.
Like I don't understand what wanting kids even implies. What specifically do people yearn for that can't be attained in other ways?
I think many people had happy childhoods, enjoyed family life, and want the same when they're older. Most humans are tribal and often want to be part of a family and, indeed, to add to it.
Personally, I was indifferent to having children throughout my 20s and well into my 30s. My wife was keen, and I wasn't averse to the idea.
As it happens, it was, by an order of magnitude, the best decision I made in my entire life. It completely altered my perception of self, the world, and everything.
Still sounds like Stockholm syndrome.
You should probably talk to someone, mate.
Huh. That's an odd one. We are all here because someone had kids, you grew up with people who had kids, it's a funny thing to not understand. I always wanted kids but can wrap my mind around people not wanting them, feel everyone should live their lives the way they want & most of my kids don't themselves want kids (though they all like kids, they just each want one of their siblings to give them nieces).
Raising kids is by far the best work I ever did, and babies are cute, little children are delightful, teenagers are cool, and now as adults they are awesome.
I don't get having kids before making the world at least a decent place. And the main thing that is wrong with the world is not climate change, some resource constraint, or even the psycho dictators ruling over us all.
It is the human flaws that make this all possible. There is just something fundamentaly very wrong with humans. We won't make it unless we engineer this out on a fundamental level.
We need to treat Psychopathy genes as a lethal disease, as if it were SARS, and everyone needs to be "vaccinated".
Just giving humans a predisposition towards empathy would be step 1.
Step 2 is creating an anti-trust structure where no one can really have power, that keeps itself strictly in-check. Constutionaly allow citizens to dislodge or if necessary kill leaders who violate the law, and don't get arrested.
And those citizens should be let off free, if certain conditions are meet (illegality of the leader obvious enough, he was asked to step down, law-enforcement did nothing, certain amount of time passed).
Everyone needs to have their own independent resources. No one should be in the position to be exploited. This must be ensured by LAW.
I see it from the complete opposite direction. What is wrong with the world and humans is all the generational trauma and how we used to raise and treat children.
So in my view the only way to heal the world is through children which are raised from parents who ideally have already worked on their trauma to be strong and caring individuals and learned to handle their emotions without supressing them.
Of course the political system is important too, but the thing is you need strong individuals first. If you have a population of people which have had their individuality "beaten out" and are slaves to their emotions they will inevitable seek comfort in groups and leaders leading to authorian regimes and fascism.
You can't change adults much. Every change has to come through our children.
I'm guessing us misfires need to get out of the way, probably die too in order to make way for this healthy generation.
That seems like a very tall order for a single generation, and for such a large area (worldwide).
If everyone thought this way, we'd probably be extinct by now — or at least massively declining in places where birth control and abortions are widely accessible, since every birth would be an accident.
(To be clear, I can understand why one might not want to bring kids into the world in its current state. It doesn't seem unreasonable)
I've never really gotten it either. Might be because I've never really liked kids even when I was one. Loud human noises tend to drive me up a damn wall and if there's one thing kids and alcoholics have in common it's their love for being as loud as possible. Also every time I hear people talk about their kids, there's always so much negativity even when they're trying to make it sound positive. What's there to gain from having them other than the supposed animalistic instinct to reproduce parents love to bring up?
Religion just in general.
Not being an edgelord or hating, I really just don’t get it, it makes no sense to me at all and never has. When I was a kid I thought it was just like a thing people did for whatever reason, I was a kid and I didn’t know fucking anything and my family didn’t do religion, once I realized people take it super seriously and think it’s all real it really weirded me out, I thought it was just some kind of fandom thing like how I was into Power Rangers.
Here's something that will probably mark me as weird: I find it strange, even creepy, when people talk, sing, hum, or make any noises to themselves. Some people tell me it helps their concentration, but I can't even envision making any kind of sound when I concentrate.
LOL. I do all of those things.
Me, too, and I find it offputting when someone else does it. 😄
Talking to yourself is one of life's great joys. Isn't that right, me?
Well I for one definitely know right? correct me
As in sing in the shower? Or just when multi-tasking in general?
I only win imaginary arguments with people I never met, but even those are entirely silent.
I don't usually talk, sing, or hum alone, but I'm always either tapping my foot, tapping my desk, or clicking a pen.
It's not really deliberate, it just sort of happens.
Though to be fair I do deliberately buy retractable pens so I can click them...
As an introvert, most things that extroverts do are strange. I want nothing more than to go home during the course of a normal work day. Extroverts love to go back out and socialize more. No thanks.
I used to do that on a daily basis. I can't even imagine anymore.
It fades with age too. At 36 I'm tired after a long week. But I do enjoy the occasional closing bars down if I prepare.
You've obviously never kissed a naked mole rat
Found Ron Stoppable!
People being noisy on public transport.
Loud talking, people playing audio on speakers, parents who don't give a fuck about their ear-piercing screaming machines, etc...
When I am on a train/tram/bus and, say, get a call, I'll decline it and send the person a text stating that I can't call right now as I am in a vehicle.
Usually I can avoid noise by using first class. People there tend to talk far less, and they don't bring kids there. That's about all 1st class has to offer around here. Avoiding people.
Oh, sometimes the 1st class can even be fairly empty. Like, 1 or 2 people in the carriage type empty. Especially nice with compartment carriages. That way I can be all alone. Which also means I can turn off lights and crank up AC in the compartment. Or open the window, which I'll regret at the first screeching of brakes. Damn loud.
The other day I found out that Deutsche Bahn allows small children in first class.
It was not a good day.
To the extent that a pet is dependent on their human, it makes sense. Domesticated animals need someone to look out for them, much as a baby does. In this light, seeing a pet as one's "baby" doesn't seem too bizarre.
Good point! Domesticated animals also tend towards neotany - we literally genetically select for them to be baby.
I totally get this… but at the same time, even a dog with whiskers gone all white is a baby to me and always will be
It’s just a circuit in our brain that is rewarding to exercise. Same reason non human mammals have been known to “adopt” animals outside their species.
I'm not quite sure what else to say here, except regarding your question about animal kisses.
Our dog Brownie likes to try to get close and lick you in the face, but I always hold back just a few inches from his attempted licks. Yet at the same time, I'll 'air lick' him back, as an appreciation of his loving gesture.
He neither licks me, nor do I lick him, but he gets lots of love and pets!
So you and your dog are just…wagging your tongues at each other???
OP, you care to chime in on this?
LOL, yeah I do show Brownie a bit of loving appreciation for his attempt at showing us love. But we don't allow him to lick our face, but it's okay if he briefly licks our hand, that's his signal that he needs to go for a walk and take a piss or shit.
He's a really good dog though, he's almost like a non-verbal autistic child. He knows how to communicate, and we understand him.
I'm truly sorry for this opinion, but that is more psychotic than actually licking your dog all over their face. I'm calling the authorities. All of them...
Partying
Never understood the appeal
Have you tried drugs
I think that's the ticket for a lot of things like a rave, a party, or even a concert. I've been to 5 or 10 concerts in my life, and every single one I'm bored silly after 30 minutes. I don't drink or do drugs and I figure that's the missing ingredient.
Oh yeah me neither. That must be it then, but I will not drink or do drugs just because of social pressure.
I never did it for the social pressure. I was always curious and then I found out they’re really fun
Have you ever looked at the back of a dollar bill
There’s some spooky shit going on back there. And it’s green, too!
If you don't like partying, either you just don't like people and music (which is fine, no shaming intended), or you have only ever been to bad parties.
A good party has:
Seems like I’m the issue, I’ll go point by point:
Since I don’t party, I don’t know anyone and if I happen to know someone we have nothing in common, as with most people my age, since they only care about looks, the gym, gossip and partying + I live in an uncivilised country where drinking = getting wasted and people often start around the mark of 11-12yo.
I don’t like most modern music and have tinnitus. Also I’m not that big of a music fan in general, I’m more of a visual arts type of person.
I don’t see the fun in dancing, can’t dance (no one has ever taught me) and feel very self conscious
Wait, you are supposed to hear anything apart from the music?
Costumes? Never heard of parties with costumes (apart from Halloween)
There are places where you can do other activities outside of dancing with the people there?
Thank you for sharing your perspective. Let me first reiterate that none of what I wrote was intended as shaming or attacking people who do not like partying.
I strongly disagree with "Seems like I’m the issue". Seems to me more like you have very good reasons to dislike all parties you could realistically attend currently, and to generalize from that to not liking parties in general is only natural.
I did not want to convince anyone they are wrong; just to share my perspective that not all parties are the same, and they can be fun even for people who think they don't like them in general if done right.
I understood it and I’m very happy that you avoided calling me simply “no fun”, and instead you wrote a pretty sizeable and detailed comment
It’s nice seeing great people ;)
Starbucks, Tim Hortons, Dunkin, etc.
Like, why? Life is too short.
See also: Anheuser-Busch products
Cause I can’t make myself a cup of coffee when I’m away from home. Sometimes I just need to stop somewhere and buy a cup. Although there are better choices than those places.
Sometimes a bad coffee is still coffee enough.
Being interested in sports. Not weird in itself but weird that they find it interesting. I just dont get it.
I agree that dogs and cats likely can't understatd what a kiss is; however, there is still affection being communicated just by the closeness. I think they see it as clumsy nuzzling.
I can't think of anything I find weird. People do things that people do.
Dogs kiss other dogs and people as a sign of affection. They know exactly what it is.
I think they assume we humans are just really shit at grooming. Like they are thinking "this giant hairless ape is terrible at grooming! Stop pecking like a damn bird and give a big ol' lick! No wonder they frequently have to stand under water to clean themselves. Poor dumb weirdo species".
But yes, they are still affectionate towards us. Pets licking is a sign of affection and bonding. I'm pretty sure I'm many cases there's a good degree of 'pity affection' though.
Many animals groom each other with their mouths for social reasons. I guarantee dogs and cats know exactly what they’re doing when they lick you. And they understand exactly what you’re doing in return.
I don’t kiss my dog, but I definitely put my face close to theirs. I don’t recommend putting mammal fur in your actual mouth, but they know that that means.
Enjoying work.
Me and a few my co-workers have discovered the secret to this it's called drink not a lot sometimes even just like the neck of a beer while on break is amazing
😂 Drugs are often a solution. yes. I should start smoking weed again.
This has always been me. People keep telling me I like my job no matter how many times I tell them I can't stand the job, I just like the paycheck. If I could do less work for the same or better pay I'd take it, but I didn't win the birth lottery.
When you say something simple and someone else attacks you over some imaginary meaning or intent. Neurotypical people are unwell.
Not really a neurotypical problem, nice insult though very cool
I know. I just avoid talking when not asked, because people always find a reason to be offended.
A co-worker got mad over that too. Not talking is also very offensive to these people.
Totally agree.
Wayyy too broad of a statement to agree with. I've seen this behavior from both neurotypical and neurodivergent people.
No need to yell 😖
Typical to everyone = unwell to me
Pretty strong evidence you aren’t well and should be discounted.
Have you been tested? Because you sure took that comment way too literally and seriously.
Ok let me say totally not seriously that autistic people are weird and neuro typicals are cool… so… what is the value of this statement vs yours…
Literally asking a question
Voting for policies that are directly opposed to their best interests.
People who give their cars a human name. "Jack got a flat tire" or "I need to get Petunia an oil change"
Don't get me wrong, I certainly have had unique names for my car - "The White Wonder", "The Papa Mobile", "The truck" - but something about using human names is important to the people who do this, and I just don't get it.
Exactly. Cars do not need names. They know who they are, and they know I appreciate them.
I love my doggo and give him kisses regularly. If he weren't such a twitcher I'd let him in bed with me. I get it's a cultural thing. I was in a group of Lebanese people and got a big kiss on the cheek by an old lady I barely new after the briefest of polite conversations. I normally would not allow it because I have a very very strong sense of personal space, but I understood her intent.
Some people think dogs are "unclean" and find the idea of letting a dog share your bed to be weird. I find dogs to be furry little serotonin factories. I'll even say thank you when a dog lets me rub his belly. Dogs are uncomplicated creatures. Their concept of love and trust aren't very deep, but they are there, and I'm happy to foster them.
This monster really is going to kill everything isnt he. I dont buy the narrative of Christianity. But the people involved in writing it may have had some clairvoancy. They said that christans would admire, and follow the Anti-Christ no matter what he does. If anyone fits the antichrist character, it's The Mad King: Agent Orange.
No clairvoyancy needed - Revelation is just a hyperbolic list of stuff that the Emperor Nero had already done, dressed up with a bunch of supernatural gubbins and set in the future.
Narcissists gonna narcissist...
It also says the anti-christ would spread a message of love and peace as part of the deception. When has Trump ever done that? When he was demanding a peace prize?
He talks about love and peace a lot though. How he is the most peaceful president, how the capitol riot was a day of love etc.
Board of Peace.
I genuinely don't understand the double-speak when people say they love animals... and then they kill and eat them for taste pleasure. That is weird.
Apparently they love animals ...with HP sauce.
Was leaving a supermarket, when a chugger/chunt asked for donations for an animal charity. Given my hands were full of heavy shopping, I just wanted to get back to the car, so I declined.
In what he must've thought was a witty moment, he said, "Don't you like animals?"
To which I repiled, "Only with tomato sauce!"
(My wife and I had at the time two cats who lived to 15 and 16 years respectively, and who we thought of as family. We have a rescue cat now (only a few years old, we think), and we think of her as family, too. She's a handful, as we're a little older, but we love her, too. No tomato sauce!)
I hate it when cats get in my tomato sauce. Good response though
I think trying to deflect with "humor" is making it worse.
Watch YouTube and similar video. If I want to know something, I'd rather read something for 5 minutes than watch something for 15. Throw some illustrations or gifs in there if you need.
If I want to be entertained, I have many games and books. Or Lemmy to fuck around on.
Different people learn in different ways. Video can also convey some things way better than written words. Video recipes are better at conveying colour, sound, texture and technique than written recipes.
Sure, and many some things are more easily conveyed in text.
There's also a mass illiteracy problem. I expect that's part of why youtube et al are so popular - many people can't read well. I think many of them don't even realize they're semi-illiterate, and think reading is just uncomfortable, and they don't know why anyone would do it on purpose.
Rate my weirdness. If I need to change a broken handle on a 2013 f150, (not a mechanic but I'm handy) you tube will be my first check. I can visually get a quick walk through of the task I'm thinking of doing. It is usually the first place I look. YouTube has basically. Turned into 24 7 commercials for products but when understood there is still decent information out there that saves alot of time. As for Entertainment I will still put it on usually somebody building something or cooking something mostly as background. That being said if I had to watch ads all the time there is no way I would watch it.
For very visual things, video can be understandable. "How do you do this jumping sequence in this game?" or "how do you assemble this doohickey?"
I am probably the weirdo but I absolutely do not want video on as "background". I don't dual-screen, either. I'll put music on when cooking sometimes.
I think it’s weird how obsessed people in general are with germs and dirt. Dirt can’t hurt you and most germs are harmless.
People seem to believe they and the world is inherently dirty and everyone and everything needs to be washed all the time and I just don’t think that’s true.
Unless something is a harmful pathogen or visibly/obviously dirty it’s really not worth worrying about
I agree with the spirit but also...
Anthrax strains keeps popping up from dirt getting disturbed. It's very unlikely, but the point is the dirt isn't perfectly safe.
The medic I sat next to the other day literally told me dirt can absolutely hurt you. You can get hanta virus from the dirt you kick up during a walk.
I bathed in mud (which is a lake most of the time) as a child and got bird fleas from it.
But i also know that playing in dirt as a child is important for the developement of the immune system.
Genuine question that will probably get a lot of hate:
Why do people apologize when someone says a person close to them died? They didn't do anything wrong, so what's the apology for?
"I'm sorry" can also mean something like "my sympathies."
In Canada, we have like 5 ways to say sorry. One of them means "what's your actual dysfunction, idiot?" And another means "it's amazing you're still alive. Do you have a minder?"
There's a lotta nuance in the delivery.
I'm English the word "sorry" doesn't mean "I take responsibility for this event or action" it means "I am expressing regret that the event or action has occured," and normally comes with the condition of responsibility, but it's really just a way of expressing empathy or regret for the event. "I'm sorry this has happened" is not the same thing as "I am sorry I did this"
Just a quirk of our language. In Spanish*, "I'm sorry" is translated to "lo siento" and literally means something along the lines "I feel" or "I feel this," an expression of literal empathy for the occurrence. You can also say "perdon" which translates closer to pardon, as in pardon me. I don't know the cultural context in Spanish speaking countries very well, but that one feels more like accepting responsibility, if one needs to be pardoned.
*I am not a Spanish speaker. Take this with a dose of salt your cardiologist would be quite upset about.
If you don't like the idea of saying "I'm sorry for your loss" because it feels like apologizing for something you didn't do, you can use the classy and traditional "My deepest condolences on the loss of your..."
And it's a legit question, no hate generated.
This has always bugged me. There's a lot of stress on the "your loss" part, as if to say "I'm better for I didn't lose anything today". At best it's trite, and at worst it sounds sarcastic. I think that little rote gesture is about the worst thing anyone can say at that moment.
Just say "I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, so let me know where I can help" or "Jerry was a great guy ; I'm gonna miss him."
It feels very impersonal, which is probably because/why it's used so often by detectives investigating deaths. There's a noncommittal "... but yes you're a suspect, and where were you at 7:22 pm last night?" that goes with it. I'm sorry for your loss, but what did you gain?
As a human talking to a friend you can probably do better. But think it out and practice it beforehand, because saying something, anything, is better than getting tongue-tied and saying nothing. Or worse, avoiding them altogether.
One I've always appreciated is "that sucks" (or equivalent) without additional qualifiers.
Sorry and sorrow are similar words, from the same root. I think that's how it evolved.
Bothers me, too. I try to find other ways to express my sympathy.
cuddling with my dog right now as I read this. I just gave him a bunch of kisses on his face, and now he's cuddled up to me even more. He knows what's up. The oxytocin flows.
They like to talk a lot.
cats dont need nail clipping or washing, yea they do especially the long haired cats, even licking wont get all the dirt and grit from thier skin or fur. i see them all up and arms over videos over it. some cats are high energy, maintenance for this very reason thats why you get expensive breeds abandonded. maine coones/persians for maitenance and bengals for high energy. yea kissing them is wierd, if you want allergies or a ringworm.
sphynx are not low-maitanence just because they are hairless, they are exact opposite, and not low allergen.
Dancing. Especially freestyle solo dancing like at a club or whatever.
From an objective perspective, it's very odd.
I get that a lot of people enjoy it, and there are some very skilled couples dances which I get more, but the sort of thing you get at a club or concert is just - strange to me.
Animals do lots of physical behaviors to each other, like grooming for fleas or ticks, that seem weird to us, but probably signify affection and closeness to them. They probably don't just let any old random monkey start picking through their fur, any more than we'd allow some stranger to hold our hand on the subway.
Animals show lots of affection to each other, and they show affection to us. Of course they recognize when we do stuff that shows affection to them. They'd rather have tummy skritches, but they'll sit still for some kisses.
Dating apps. i guess its only most people if you look at certain age range.
You can't help it when an animal snuggles you! You just can't deny them the love!! 💖
About the pet kissing thing, I have a funny feeling it stems from people sometimes getting their kids to hug or pat or give air kisses to siblings or stuffed animals because the parents think it is cute and so it ingrains affection habits to people.
I will say anecdotally, my wife has aggressively kissed my dog since she was a puppy. The dog aldo knows we don't like face licks and will boop my wife on the cheek with her nose repeatedly.
And to answer your question, people are into what they're into, I just don't get feet.