Spyke
aboringdystopia·A Boring Dystopiabymulcahey

Update: We're messing up Melania Trump's Amazon search results

This is an update to this post.

This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It's pretty clearly a bribe to the Trump family.

We're going to disrupt the big premiere weekend by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it's high in the results. Maybe #1!

The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money. (Fun fact: It's free because of YOU, the users of A Boring Dystopia. After your comments on the last post I reached out to the author, and they agreed to make the book free this weekend.)

Currently, the book ranks #29 in Amazon search results for Melania. But all the other Melania results seem pretty weak (lol), so we can pull this off pretty easily. We just need people to:

  1. "Buy" the book (it's free)
  2. Share this post and get other people to "buy" the book.

That's it.

Here's a link to the book, in case your Lemmy client stripped out the links above: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HN9XC1H

Please share and we can celebrate as an erotic novel about a bat monster Melania Trump becomes a higher and higher search result on Amazon!

View original on lemmy.world
lemmy.ca

Look at this guy getting all snobby about the couches he fucks; like he's better than the rest of us :-D

37
Wildmimicreply
anarchist.nexus

It's Melania's magic power - but will it be enough to get her husband back from Peter Thiel's claws?

10

I bought it because i appreciate the gesture of making his melania fanfic free for this stunt lol

My Amazon recommendations will never be the same again

19

I also did just now. The big yellow button said "Buy it for free" hah!

4
criticonreply
lemmy.ca

You can't get Kindle books on the Amazon app, you need to go thru a browser or the Kindle app

15

Do you have Android or iPhone? AFAIR the issue started because Google wanted to collect 30% of the sales

Edit: I wonder if free books don't have this issue, I got this book from the browser

1

If you're on your phone/in the app it may stop you from buying it without the Kindle app.

11
mulcaheyreply
lemmy.world

I'm hearing mixed things. Do you have a Kindle? It might not show up unless you've set one up. Maybe that's it?

9
Wildmimicreply
anarchist.nexus

I don't have a kindle and just bought it!

E: It says Kindle for Web for me, is that a thing that can be activated manually? it's been ages since i used amazon

13
someguy3reply
lemmy.world

Kinda looks like her, published 2018, so it's her huh. *Lol description is nuts and yes her.

5

I am going to do this, but I assume Amazon has a way of pushing its promoted content to the top.

32
lemmy.world

Lol

Her husband gets all the attention. But she has something to hide, too. Melania Trump had it all. A former model living luxuriously high above New York City, she had her every whim catered to and her every want met, far from the public eye. But when her famous husband becomes President of the United States and leaves for Washington, her quiet life is thrown into disarray. Now, surrounded by young, strapping Secret Service agents and pursued by the cunning and handsome FBI director James Comey, Melania must work to keep everything from falling apart. Because Melania has secrets of her own –– deadly secrets –– and no one yet knows how far she'll go to protect them. "The best erotic supernatural political thriller I've read this week." - Christine Sims, author of Taken by the T-Rex "The Hunger Games meets 50 Shades of Grey … this was everything I didn’t know I was looking for in a book!" - Dani Fankhauser, author of Shameless: How I Lost My Virginity and Kept My Faith "I don't know what this is, but I'm totally down for this shit." - Jinn from Mercy Bar

27

If I were an Amazon exec I'd hope for this. The bribe has already done its work and if no one sees they film there will be fewer complaints and bad reviews written about it.

27
mulcaheyreply
lemmy.world

Kinda think "The #2 Amazon result is an erotic novel where she's a bat monster" is probably not a good look

22

it's a better look than "$75 million movie sells 3 tickets" so like, pushing the book might be doing more harm than good

4

The president is a rapist. It hasn't been a bad look for half of the country.

But go ahead, give amazon your emails and data like they don't already manipulate rankings.

I hope you feel you accomplished something.

3

As the mod of the bat community, I heartily approve of this effort. Long live erotic bat monsters!

21

Melania film? You mean the Melania porn film? The Melania porn film I just made up? That Melania porn film? Sorry but I can't really discuss the nonexistent Melania porn film at this time.

20
DagwoodIIIreply
piefed.social

Melania was doing lesbian porn in 1996. Stormy Daniels was a stripper in 1996 and started doing porn six years later.

We have every reason to believe that there is a Stormy Daniels/Melania Trump movie out there somewhere.

23

After the 2016 election, the NY Times assembled a panel of TV creators. 'The West Wing,' 'House of Cards', 'Scandal,' and other political dramas were represented.

All the creators said the same thing; if they'd had a fictional candidate say the things Donald Trump had said in real life, every advertiser and network executive would demand that the character be shown as hated by all Americans, and lose the election in a landslide.

2
lemmy.world

This is a fun idea, but unfortunately Amazon's search results are pay to play. (That's why they're always so bad.)

19
adbreply

Thanks for reminding this. However, considering the small investment, still worth it even if might not be able to reach 1st place anyhow.

6
lemmy.zip

Melania is the worst first lady we ever had in the US. She is at base, the most uninteresting person. She is supposed to be on "the Five" tomorrow. I hope they ask her uncomfortable questions but I bet it will mostly be softball bullshit questions. She sucks and is unintelligent, just greedy and an Epstein operative/prop, as it is how she met the Orange Asshole. I hope she remains stuck with him because those who marry for money should be required to earn it.

17

She's not the worst. I'll take a boring grifter over Nancy fucking Reagan puppeting her mushbrained husband to ignore the AIDS crisis.

14

I just had an epiphany. i was on a team that made a film my senior year of high school. it was a little high school short. i mean, scott ran a good crew it was high quality for high school short but it was still a 30 minute high school short. i ran the camera and my forearm also played The Lunch Lady (uncredited). We sold it to HBO. I don't know our viewing statistics or how much it sold for (this was our buddy Scott's dream, we were just along for the ride and to help him get there), we won a handful of film festivals and scott no joke got an award at Sundance but there were about 400 people at our premiere. I can now say I no joke beat the Melania movie and that gives me a little hit of dopamine, maybe a big one let's see how this goes.

every kid on youtube is a more successful creator if they've earned back enough money to pay for their webcams omg.

10

is there a oooooo i just saw forbidden loveseat

is there a chuck tingle we could boost too?

edit: excuse me Two time Hugo Finalist and Goodreads nominee Dr. Chuck Tingle.

if you are Mssr. Boehninger, this is the best strategy to sell books i tell you hwhat

13

The maga cucks will spin this into a good thing. “Look how much people love her, they are writing stories about her.”

11

For search rankings, you would have to Google it and then click on the right link

10
lemmy.world

That she's a manananggal makes it even funnier 🤣🤣🤣

6
Lumisalreply
lemmy.world

It's a folk monster from the Philippines. A person who at night splits their torso in half in search of people to eat (or was it the one that eats fetuses from pregnant women?).

You kill it by burning the lower half before the upper half can return to it.

2

cool, thanks! funnily enough a single game on steam features this monster - i just had to look if its featured somewhere - and it released this january... but it looks pretty bad

1

I've been thinking that ever since I saw her sitting next to her obviously stroke-afflicted husband at that failed Army extravaganza on his birthday, looking like she was just waiting to snatch his soul. There's even a mention of her in the Wikipedia page:

In the erotic novel Melania: Devourer of Men (2018), Melania Trump is depicted as a manananggal who must keep her identity hidden after her husband becomes President of the United States. The novel has been discussed in several podcasts.

It's definitely a look that suits them both, lol.

1

Amazon Prime Video and Amazon the online store are two separate apps. This will have no impact unless it’s googled, and we push the book to the top. But simply searching “melania movie” will filter out the book.

We’re also way too small of a community (the fediverse at large even) to even push that kind of thing to impact any SEO.

1