Hey! This is the internet, someone will suggest to play safe, take a swing at all three.
I know I sound old, but I miss the days when I (or even my kids) went to school. If a teacher reached out to parents you knew troubles where waiting at home. Not like being beaten senseless, but a punishment was lurking in your near future which would match your wrong doing.
People will do anything but seek out a therapist. The kid may have a behavioral disorder, and seeking referrals for conduct disorder or something is usually a joint effort since parents get defensive even when such a disorder is often biological, like depression.
Or, y'know, zero tolerance bullshit and the kid gets expelled. That's more common in the US.
Yes, depending on the age and if police are on campus. Police tend to be permanent on some campuses for "security" but schools with them statistically show a much higher rate of incarceration. Although expulsion is also a fast track to prison, too.
Unsurprisingly, police tend to be in predominantly black schools, although even in desegregated schools (for which there are very few), it's black students most likely to get in trouble for acting out. Socioeconomic status accounts for some of this, though.
By fucking the economy so hard they most people live paycheck to paycheck, no savings, and since there's no universal healthcare people need to pay therapy from money they don't have.
This is by design, keep the poor poor so they don't learn enough and get enough resources to change things. Things like fair pay and healthcare cost a lot to industries that pay lobbyists.
If the current status is costing the government more than universal healthcare, who is pocketing the difference? Hospitals, insurance companies.
Yeah, "they choose that". "They" being the industries that pay lobbyists to make sure that "that" keeps happening, and "that" being US citizens not being able to afford therapy, in between other things.
You missed my last paragraph. "They" does not include you, it only includes the industries that benefit from this status quo. Voting is irrelevant for this matter. Did you read my comment? I never mentioned voting.
My sister in law and her husband are these people.
She had a kid in high school was non-verbal autistic that she gave up for adoption and ignored. Her first son with her husband was definitely on the spectrum and struggled hard in social situations and in school. School actually pushed for the diagnosis, but there were the "no way. Not my kid." Kind of people. And did nothing.
Their second kid came along and hes further along the spectrum than their other kid. He's 6 and still not potty trained and barely talking. My 4 year old passed him developmentally a year or more ago, which seems to have been the catalyst for them to seek help.
Both kids are doing better no that theyre seeing specialist and on development plans with the school. I just cant believe they waited so long... especially because her brother has a son who is also non verbal autistic, and his parents got him diagnosed before i even knew you could see those traits in children
I work at a school and I received training that explicitly told us zero tolerance does not work, made me do a double take. So in at least the northern states things are changing for the better.
Yup, I teach at University in California and get to cite that. It's a little counter intuitive for people, but it's true and much better for teachers to understand. I imagine some places ignore data, though.
I mean, that depends on the age. If that kid is 7 or older, yeah, you should probably look into therapy to figure out where that behavior is coming from. 5 or 6, well, kids are still developing emotional regulation at that point. I'm not saying the reaction should be, "OK, we packed a banana," but probably something more like, "Oh no, I'm so sorry, we're going to have a talk about how it's never OK to hit, have you witnessed this kind of behavior before?" then offer to pay for the glasses. (Also, packing a banana isn't a bad idea, as well as making sure he's getting enough sleep. 9 times out of 10, when young kid gets disregulated, they're over-tired or hungry).
In many ways, bad parenting is often why people go to therapy in the first place, haha. That said, I'm referring to something unrelated to parenting, as there are an assortment of disorders that have little to do with parenting.
Also, discipline is tricky; parents have to use more than punishment in their toolbox, like praise for good work, modeling kindness, etc., and avoid modeling physical punishment since that tends to be the main reason a kid hit other kids... although I doubt the banana parents hit their kids.
Screening can help identify the cause of problematic behavior. In the US, that legally is required by the schools in federal law (i.e. IDEA), but obviously enforcing said law isn't happening, even in better administrations.
"it is very unfortunate that our Jaeydighn used the calming banana as a weapon but we believe it's important for him to express himself freely and from now on we will peel it in an effort to make the impact softer for everyone involved."
Nah, even as a child that's unacceptable. My kid is only 5 and I don't let them hit people, and punish them when they do. The response from the parent shows the apple fell straight down
Edit: if you think this is advocating violence against children, go touch grass or read a single book on parenting ffs. Natural/logical consequences make good punishments for misbehavior, and have gone a long way to helping my kid not act out (and are nonviolent, since that has to be spelled out)
Or maybe you talk to the kid and take away a privilege they have temporarily that is (at least close to) a natural consequence of behavior? But then again, I'm just a parent of a relatively well adjusted kid who isn't violent and talks to me about their problems, so what the fuck do I know?
Man, the amount of people who default "punishment" to "violence against kids" is fucking stupid.
I never said it was acceptable. Do you call you're children garbage when they misbehave? Does their behavior improve after you tell your child that you think they're garbage? I don't let my children hit anyone either, I just don't call them garbage if they do.
Normal people don't break the teachers glasses and punch them in the face. This is already major behavioral problems if your kids are school age and doing this.
As someone who was a child and therefore interacted with thousands of other children in public school I can confirm some children are garbage. Do you not remember school? Were all of those people ok?
I remember troubled kids that didn't know how to handle what they where dealing with at home and internally. I don't remember any garbage kids, no. The idea that a child was just born garbage is just cruel, I hope one day you can learn to forgive and let go of that hate inside.
People who think you should teach kids not to hit people. And people who have enough braincells to rub together to understand that punishment and violence against children aren't the same thing.
Regardless of the labelling, punching someone in the face is absolutely not "acting like a child", it's acting like a garbage person. That shit should not be tolerated or excused away to complain about labelling.
And honestly, excusing away a kid battering their teacher as "acting like a child" is pretty goddamned unacceptable too.
My little brother threw a chair at his preschool teacher. This is absolutely shit kids do, that they need to be taught is unacceptable. You don't teach kids to be better by writing them off as garbage humans, because they're still learning.
If you call your five year old garbage for acting out, you're a shitty parent.
I'm always amazed at how little reading comprehension people have, or how they end up responding to things in their own head.
1 - your example of your little brother acting like an asshole doesn't mean it's "shit that kids do". This is "boys will be boys" shit, and that's not acceptable. This is like saying your little brother throws rocks at moving cars or at animals and it's just "shit kids do". Misbehaving kids do it, and need to be taught better, but it is not normal kid behavior.
2 - no one is saying they're talking to the kid like that
3 - part of teaching kids to be better people is showing them there are natural consequences for their actions, which guess what? That's a form of punishment, and it isn't violence.
If you call your five year old garbage for acting out, you're a shitty parent.
I ask my kid what's wrong and work with them to find a solution, and implement natural/logical (and because crayons are needed, non violent) consequences for their misbehavior. I may use choice descriptors for their behavior when they are not in the house, but I would never speak to my kid that way.
It baffles me how many people in this thread don't have a concept of natural/logical consequences as punishment, and it really fucking shows in the responses. But I guess when you're raised with violence and can't be bothered to look into alternatives, it's easy to assume and drag people on the Internet
It's amazing that you complain about people not reading and responding to stuff in their head, then you turn around it do it yourself.
1: I quite clearly stated that this was inappropriate behavior that needs to be educated away. I don't know how you think my example is condoning the action. Children need to be taught to keep their hands to themselves, this is a normal part of child development. It is normal for children to have Big Emotions and not know how to use their words yet. Normal doesn't mean it shouldn't be addressed, it just means that every child has to have it addressed.
2: Have you not read the rest of the thread? Starting with the post calling the child a garbage person?
I wouldn't call a particular kid a garbage person to or around that kid in consideration for the effect it might have on that kid. Between you and me kids who do that are a fucked up mess who probably aren't going to end well.
On top of all of this, at least in my country, the pay is shit. And no government past or present seems interested in changing it so...
Always the same story on loop.
"Nobody wants to work anymore" - Because the pay is shit.
"We're struggling to fill positions" - Because the pay is shit.
"This generation is laz— The. Pay. Is. Shit.
I'm a teacher assistant, 80% sure I want to go into teaching (students assaulting me isn't holding me back. Its just the self confidence of stepping up and leading the class is what's holding me back. And granted, I'm not in the USA, so I don't fear school shootings)
I've had students punch me. I've had students slam doors hard enough to break windows. But I also remember seeing the students learn something. The way their face lights up when they are smarter than their friend, or when they make a connection in math. THATS what is bringing me back to the classroom.
The shy kid in yr 8 is now school captain. The kid I personally nicknamed 'Cartman' because that was his personality, is helping the new kid around school when teachers aren't looking.
Thank you for the encouraging words. I was going to make a comment about "that's 4 years of study, just for a maybe I will like it". But this year (well, this July) marks 4 years of being a Teacher Assistant, and I'm still ready for another 4 years...
All the signs say "go for it", but the leadership...
The decision is yours to make after all, and it's a pretty important one. But I think any educational system (wherever you're from, doesn't matter) can always use more teachers that actually care for their students and aren't there just to have a job, which isn't always the case unfortunately.
the self confidence of stepping up and leading the class is what’s holding me back
You get used to it, especially after a few times of going through and refining your material. Once you have a clearer vision of the outcome you want a class to have, it's a lot easier to figure out how you can guide groups of students to that point, even if the group dynamics change from year to year.
Had a student who regularly threatened to kill her and destroyed her classroom at least twice a week. She would have to clear all the students into the hall while he went on a rampage in there.
The AP would just come down and give him video games to "calm him down". Guess who learned to freak out for rewards?
Is there a community for like these "looks/sounds great until you think about it for two seconds" style art/news/media fails? Because I feel like it would be fun time.
Teaching is not Teaching anymore, its doing the job of the breeders these days and raising their kids teaching them decent manners and how not to be a cunt.
Being a teacher is literally like adopting a class full of feral fuckin cats and trying to turn them into decent humans from the POS ipad baby version their parents have created.
parents were historically solely responsible for everything a child received, including instruction, and thus you are in fact already contracting to do part of a parent's job anyway
Or
raising children was historically a communal responsibility and you are doing what was historically done by the extended community anyway
You have beef with the disparity between the lines for who has responsibility for the child vs who has ultimate authority over the child. And that is fair! But it's a problem with the current structure of the system, and we don't need to harken back to some stupid lie about the good old days to justify the current impasse.
raising children was historically a communal responsibility and you are doing what was historically done by the extended community anyway
US perspective here. The problems I see:
In many cases, the parents don't have time to give their child the attention that they need and the "extended community" has shrunk to maybe some extended family like grandparents or aunts/uncles. This is particularly bad for those in poverty and working multiple jobs.
Existential dread and financial uncertainty for the parents, the child, and the teachers.
Reduced educational funding - downward pressure on teacher compensation, teachers paying for classroom supplies the school and parents can't provide.
Increasingly corporate structure in school districts - a focus on efficiency, metrics, test performance, etc. instead of the much harder to measure intellectual and social growth of the students. See NCLB.
Massive, rapid-paced social and technological change.
Going back to when one income could support a family and almost everyone had a parent that was at home that they could rely on is not a stupid lie.
The stupid lie is it is the parent's fault when they both have to work 40+ hours a week (if you even have two parents), take care of the household, help with homework, and deal with the constant curve balls thrown at you by life (car broken down, major sickness, mental disease, dental issues, housing emergency, etc.)
I am lucky to maybe have a hour a day maximum to myself and that is half an hour in the morning and half an hour at night getting ready or going to bed. We are far past the breaking point for the US.
That never fucking existed. There was never a large portion of the population that made enough money for the woman to stay at home, and even when there was enough to apparently make memes about it, it was at most 2 decades.
For real people, women have always worked. In the 1950s, my maternal grandmother ran the general store they owned and lived above while he worked in the factory, and she helped him bale hay on the weekends when it was in season. My paternal grandmother didn't work, and they were dirt poor. She thought it was a woman's place to stay at home and they barely kept food on the table and a roof over their heads. They got frequent financial help from her parents.
My husband: His maternal grandmother didn't work, and the husband had a decent job. And my MiL died bitter because her parents would take all the kids' incomes as teenagers to support the household/themselves.
His paternal grandmother worked and retired from a federal job.
It's a lie. It was a lie then to keep women suppressed, and it's a lie now that doesn't serve you like you think it does. The average American has always worked, and women's work has always been discounted. The only ones who didn't work were the wealthy parasite class.
I agree with you that the person I responded to was wrong for dumping on the parents, but everything else is just more grievance politics, but this time from the left.
Seriously. We were middle class wealthy growing up. Mom always worked. When dad was in college, she put him through his degrees. Ran a dry cleaners. When he was a fresh college grad, she did taxes. Still does taxes but is winding down her practice. She picked up bookkeeping reliable enough she ended up being an office manager for a few successful medical and legal practices. Dad ended up retiring when he could no longer work. Physically, not mentally. Mom still works, more for her health than her finances.
Gran, she always worked. She was an RN. Tough as nails, worked prisons because she took the parable of the sheep and goats to heart and was an atheist because the Christians she grew up with didn't.
Gramgram, she was a cost accountant. Worked her whole adult life. Grumpa was a cost accountant, and when he discovered he was not one for the ladies he taught her his trade so she could make money just as well as he could, then he fucked off to San Francisco. And Gramgram, she looked after the family. Remarried, specifically a worthless lump of flesh who could help pay the bills, but she was the main breadwinner.
My wife, well when we got married she was already outearning me even before I said fuck it let's play jazz and she said honey you supported my dreams I'll support yours even though bwahahaha jazz really you couldn't even be a clown so I'm not sure what your point is
You are passionate but wrong. There was a large portion of society that did this in the past and continue to do so.
In Europe almost 50% of the time children are with one parent or the other. It is very common for one parent to not work or work very little during the first five years of child rearing.
Almost a fourth of US households have a stay at home parent. With over 11 million stay at home parents in the US alone. I have a hard time understanding where you are coming from.
You also seem to confuse the issue of parents making enough to comfortably take a lot of time away from work to raise children and the fact that housework has been traditionally unpaid.
I think as a society we should recognize the need for a parent, particularly during the first five years, to be at home. We shouldn't be penalizing people for this. Raising children is tough enough without the economic reality that you will be significantly behind your peers if you actually raise your kids.
No wonder birth rates are down. Having kids has become cost prohibitive in a society that tries to squeeze every penny out of people. We have prioritized making money to the detriment of all over raising children. The system in the US in particular is beyond broken.
I am not talking about unpaid housework, nor did I ever mention parental leave from work/ a pause in a career. I am talking about paid work. Running a general store and baling hay is not housework. Most poor women have always worked. I read the autobiography of Grandma Moses a while back. You'd probably label her a housewife, but she worked a dairy farm like a dog for years with her husband to sell milk and butter. If she's working to make money and provide, she's not a housewife who is free to spend her energies only tending to the family's needs. That is a luxury.
Further, when you mention the European stat... Which I'll take in good faith since there's no citation... You are confusing the first five years of life (preschool) with the original comment which seemed to be about grade school kids as well as your other comments about helping with homework, etc, that also imply grade school age kids. Maybe I could buy your argument about small children, but not school age children.
My point is not to penalize people who choose/have the financial ability to stay home. My point is that it was only really ever economy viable for the wealthier people. For the left to sit around and demand it makes them seem as coddled and out of touch as when they demanded student loan repayment. You are asking for subsidized luxury goods on the backs of people who can barely provide food and shelter for themselves. And maybe you think the whole system should be restructured for the wealthy to pay for it and/ or for us to cut back on military spending to pay for it, etc. but that's not what people lead the argument with. They lead with this expensive, privileged demand.
Most poor women did the work they knew how to. This was often housework. It was common for women to do laundry, dishes, and general cleaning for others. This was also work unless we are going to ignore its value.
I totally understand your poor women angle, but a lot of poor mothers lived in poverty without jobs taking care of their family. Sometimes it was by choice and sometimes not. I am not going to stand in moral judgement of women who were dirt poor and stayed with their family.
I get it, your stock was hard workers. They struggled despite working hard. This is pretty common as my mother's side was literally the Grapes of Wrath because their farm went under during the dustbowl.
I am not sure you understand the struggle of raising children as you stand in judgement to trivialize other's experiences. My wife stayed at home for several years raising our kids and we survived on one income.
Tens of millions of people who are not wealthy choose to stay at home with their children. 20% of stay home parents are men in the US. People are doing what you deny every single day and making it work.
Society and the wealthy benefit greatly from parents raising kids. The problem with the US it is extremely exploitive taking that value and not giving back with garbage childcare, uncaring employers, inflated housing, insane medical costs, etc.
I think people are crazy to have kids in the US. So that makes me insane I guess.
I am a married working mother of two. Don't tell me what I don't understand. I am not trying to uphold my family as some paragon of virtue. They were the most accessible anecdotes I have on hand. My point is women always worked, and the view that they didn't is just a rewrite of history to erase them and their contributions by conservatives, and now this fake history is being repurposed by liberals as some achievable ideal. Why do you think all the early women's rights advocates were demanding equal pay for equal work? Because they were working!
I was going to throw out anecdotes about the folks I know now where one parent has stayed home, but it didn't help to paint the picture of how things "used to be". But as far as what people I know do, the picture remains that it is largely a luxury of the well-off: in households where I am fairly sure the husband makes >$250k/yr, I think they do/did fine (past tense for the mother's that still chose to go back once the children were school-aged). They don't live extravagantly, but there is no hardship. I know a couple where the Dad stays home, unemployed not by choice. The mom makes (I think) between $200k-$250k/yr, and their finances are tight. They are managing, but it's not great. She actually took an assignment overseas where their money would go further and more expenses would be paid by her company, but this administration ended that opportunity and they are back. The last couple I know, the husband makes maybe $100k, and it is a hardship that she thinks her role is at home and will not work. They are constantly struggling to pay rent, to pay their bills, and to buy vehicles. They frequently seek financial help from everyone they know.
Anyway, go read some Simone de Beauvoir. Historically most people were poor and most women worked. She called the women in the upper class who didn't work "parasite women".
Teaching is capitalist babysitting so the kids grow up indoctrinated and so the parents can waste their lives serving capital without the distraction of kids.
Dude school kids were awful when I was one and couldn't understand why they couldn't think logically. I cant imagine how bad it is now after decades of brainrot and phones in schools. I would NEVER be a teacher.
As a youth soccer coach, I'd take this over some of the parents I've dealt with. We had one girl bullying other kids and when we told the mom she refused to believe us. Even when one of the other coaches told her she overheard it. The mom just said she must have misheard.
The reason bullies get away with being bullies at school is cause their parents also tend to be bullies. So when the little shit gets in trouble for being a bully, his fat parents will waddle in and bully the stuff and faculty for daring to discipline their little skid mark.
Faculty don’t wanna deal with this, so they let the little shits get away with everything and only punishing the kids who fight back
All the problematic peers I’ve known either were born into a neglectful or hostile household, or were neurodivergent of some kind and didn’t fit in with the environment we were in, since those who were typical and were born into understanding families would just do what they were supposed to do.
Due to how schools where I live are supposed to be looking out for signs of neurodivergence or other differences, while also being underfunded without a justification, many students aren’t even seen and once they get to middle or high school, they become the violent and problematic ones.
Then again though, it’s also the parents’ responsibility to make sure their own child is heard and cared for to prevent such outbursts from happening in the first place, and those neglectful or hostile households are likely a result of the parents not understanding what being mentally healthy means.
In an effort to break the routine of unacceptable parenting, I would like to demonstrate what you can do with banans. First, get a large bunch of preferrably green bananas. Remove two of these bananas from the bunch. Take one banana, and insert the stem rigorously into your right ear canal. Repeat with the other banana in your left ear canal. Do not remove the banana until they begin to wither.
And thats it!
The effort to reduce your child's violent outbursts remains the same, but at least you will be able to share your Superpower of Narrow Intelligence with the public! Everyone will unequivocally know that you are a moron.
"Ah yes, the ancient cure for physical assault: potassium. I’m sure the glasses will magically fix themselves once he finishes his 'Superpower' fruit. 🍌👓
I feel like the teacher should be someone who not only possesses great knowledge and the capacity to guide, but also the ability to solo the entire classroom in a fight to make them submit and listen the fuck up.
Teaching in a school has greatly changed over the past 3 decades. It's still a rewarding career, but not one I wanted to stick with - the pressure to work miracles is too high, and the support just isn't there to do so.
What gets me is the complete lack of respect, while also having standards that expect you to be a saint.
Teaching title 1, after the district reorganized and combined schools with rival gangs - roster changing every day, buses showing up hours late, not being allowed to kick disruptive students out of the classroom, and having to withstand verbal abuse…
They want you to be Jesus. Spend your own money on supplies, focus on “building a relationship” with the student who screamed “fucking f-ggot” in front of the principal at you…
Friend was offered $80k to head up a new middle school Spanish esl dept, witb 2 other teachers. A month before school was to start, they set a date to finalize the contract. They'd never even interviewed for the 2 other teachers. They wanted her to see all 350+ kids 2x a week. And the salary had dropped to $21.6K, which is the state minimum wage of 15$ for 180 8hr days. This is in a super high COL town- the grocery store starts at $27 an hour, and $2k a month rent is a steal.
She laughed at them an walked. Had a job for 38 an hour in a construction firm's office in 2 days (where Spanish fluency is a marketable skill dental a high esl labor force)
The schools response was the admin in charge of her hiring trying to throw her under the bus. She wrote an OP ED to the paper calling my friend out by name (which was blacked out by the paper per their agreement- it was so bad the paper reached out and asked her permission to print it- she agreed, with her name redacted and a promise theyd print her rebuttal as op Ed the following week) they tried to blame her for backing out last minute leaving them in the lurch, and claiming it was her unwillingness to teach that was to blame for their lack of a proper esl dept despite almost 1/3 of the students being esl.
I hated chemistry. My brain wants science that is as much as possible about doing pure math. I don’t want to be memorize exceptions to every little rule and naming conventions that also have exceptions. I wanted to teach physics, I interviewed for physics. I get the job, then I find out I’m teaching chemistry.
They didn’t care that i wasn’t certified for chemistry, and that I scraped through that certification test (because I’m not going to teach anything I’m not certified to teach and took the test before the school year started) with knowing what a hydrogen bond was, much less anything covered in an organic chemistry class….
I also had classes that were 2/3 special education, which mandated a coteacher. I met her in 3 weeks in and saw her once a month, because she needed to serve as a substitute teacher. I was not certified in SPED at the time, and the IEPs they gave me were a literal excel spreadsheet with the accommodations ticked off which is beyond illegal.
The system is so beyond broken. No one seems to give a shit but there are parts of the country which are just failing.
So like, I've trained martial arts briefly, right? It's really important not to train your "I'm in danger" instincts away, because they can protect you. However, this can unfortunately lead to you punting a 7 year old.
By the fact there is no salutation and no signature, and the text clearly doesn't stand by itself as a complete reply to anything, I'm going to assume it's a short excerpt from the email reply, and that there was an apology.
Nothing makes me wanna be a teacher like seeing all of the horrible videos on the internet of students fucking up their teachers and assaulting them. Wait, I think I said that wrong…
Well yeah, accountability only gets you in trouble. There's no incentive for taking accountability.
There's no "at least you were honest." Even if someone unintentionally makes a genuine mistake, they'll burn for it if it's ever pinned to them. Just fade into the background and don't attract notice to yourself, cause as soon as you accept blame for one thing, people will use you as a scapegoat for everything else that goes wrong.
Don't practice self-awareness, it'll only get you punished. Don't feel remorse for your actions, it'll only get you punished. That's the prevailing and all-pervading messaging these days. Do you want to be the sorry sucker to try to reverse that trend?
The authorities never accept accountability, they just pass the buck to their subordinates. Everyone seems to follow that example, and the buck gets passed down until it can't go any lower and the person at the bottom gets stuck with the hot potato.
This behavior is continuously reinforced by society. Anyone who expects it to be otherwise learns their lesson real quick. Never admit to being anything less than perfect, or else the consequences may follow you for the rest of your life.
I used to be a buyer for a manufacturing facility. We'd joke that if something went wrong in production, they would blame the scheduler, the scheduler would blame the buyer, the buyer would blame the supplier, and the supplier would blame our quality team.
As long as you're not the last on the list, your job is secure.
I don't think this is evading responsibility. I think this is a family who can't afford mental health care for their child, and the school system is ill-equipped to handle it.
Depends where you are blue states tend to pay their teachers better. Still have a lot of the same parental and administrative issues but at least they generally dont have to work a second job for ends to meet.
So that students end up writing better than you. 80k isn't an absurd salary in most cost of living areas with lots of families. I'm sure there are locations where that might be considered high, but honestly I couldn't give two fucks about any argument why teachers of 20 years should be paid well.
B a n a n a s are considered histamine liberators so you might look at a list of high histamine or histamine liberating foods to see if you have possibly histamine intolerance
That... does... kind of seem to match up, the symptoms match up pretty well.
But there are a good deal of foods that I am seeing as also high in histamines (or ability to trigger histamine release or create histamines or something like that)... which give me little to no trouble, that I actually eat fairly often.
... hrm.
Either way, didn't even know this was a thing, so, thanks for informing me!
Unless, and hear me out, they beat that child with multiple bananas at home for 6 straight hours. I mean they pelt him non stop with those large, hard, and un-ripe South American bananas that are like 2lbs of concrete. Then they send him to school with one of those things in his backpack to induce trauma to be a better human.
Is it faked? Probably. Is it outside the realm of possibility? Not at all. My mom spent most of her life as an elementary school teacher. I got to hear a lot of the stories about kids she dealt with. Some kids are messed up and need help. Too often their parents are too in one way or another. Mom loved all the kids, even the difficult ones. She said it would be a perfect job if she didn't have to deal with the crazy parents and school administrators.
Right. Because johnny bananas wrote about how s parent of their student gave their kid a comfort banana. And I'm the stupid one. Enjoy eating that onion.
I was spanked as a kid. I don’t think it did any good. I don’t want to spank my kids.
As a parent of two very different and spectrum-y kids, it is incredible just how effective gentle parenting is. You have to be mindful of your kids' needs, make sure they aren't tired or hangry or just in an environment/situation that lends itself to poor decisions (and if they are, guide them towards resolving that) and dole out timeouts and losing privileges as appropriate for the individual child and situation. The other thing to remember is kids will test limits all the time, so you need to be ready to make those limits clear and make it clear when they try something new which is not okay. Mostly it comes down to consistent expectations and being clear and consistent with your and communication and punishments
Strikes me almost like someone on the spectrum trying to solution when the other just wants acknowledgement and an apology. But being hangry is absolutely a thing, especially with kids so it is possible the "calming banana" might work
I remember a lot of kids getting spanked at school in the '80s. Most were more worried about the additional spanking they would get at home as punishment for misbehaving enough to get spanked at school.
You don't have to lay hands (or belts, or whatever) on your child to set and enforce strong boundaries and expectations. Kids need those guardrails to help them learn to navigate the world.
I know like 3 people IRL that are expecting rn in this hell hole situation and I cannot for the life of me figure out how they can be so f'ng stupid. I ain't even bothering with a "congrats" when I see these ppl.
Now of all times is the most irresponsible thing you can be stuck with. Blessing my ass.
I don’t think there’s much studying involved to become a teacher, unless you’re special. The coursework, at a base level, is things that are covered in nearly every course you took to get there.
That being said, the real hard component is essentially parenting kids whose parents have left the job up to the public school system. Teaching is a hard job, but getting there is not.
Well, assuming that's the entire email that was sent, some basic level of empathy might not have been amiss. "So sorry about that, are you okay? We'll pay for the glasses. Obviously this behavior isn't okay; we've discussed it and we're going to try..."
They also clearly aren't holding the kid accountable for his actions. To me that's the larger problem. Trying to address root causes is fine, but you don't get to go around attacking people even if you aren't feeling well. Part of parenting is teaching emotional regulation and consequences for your actions.
“Little johnny goes around kicking dogs, but that’s society failing him, not anything we have done or latent inside him. He’s our little miracle, and we will sue you if you make him think otherwise”
The other possibility is that they're thinking of it in a defensive mindset and aren't wanting to put anything in writing that could be construed as acknowledging fault, in case it results in a lawsuit.
Assuming this is anything above pre-k, I'd be hoping that the parents would respond with "Sorry we've spoken with him about this unacceptable behavior / we're connecting with a children's counselor to address anger issues / etc."
If it's at the point that I'm getting punched in the face at work, I might also be annoyed at their response being
And if this was a teacher with a real incident in a public school, you'd expect their response to involve a parent/teacher conference with administration, possibly a behavioral intervention plan or other outcomes. Email isn't enough.
That's a false dichotomy. Reasonable responses are framed as either "kid has low blood sugar so I'm packing him a banana", or "sorry, we'll beat him with jumper cables". There's like 50 reasonable responses between those extremes.
Do you think that if you were teaching a class and one of the students punched you in the face so hard that they broke your expensive prescription eyewear, that you would actually just dust yourself off and go, "oh dear, you poor thing - are you acting out due to low blood sugar? I can go get you a banana".
You really think that's a reasonable response for any human?
I'm hoping this was cut off from a longer email, but if it was not she probably could've at least expected the parents to apologize on behalf of their kid, ensure they spoke to their kid about why it's inappropriate to hit people, probably have the kid apologize, and depending on some other factors offer some kind of compensation for the glasses at least as a token gesture.
If your kid hit someone in the face hard enough to break their glasses and your only response is maybe they were hungry here's how I can address that, I can potentially see why they might have done it in the first place.
Yea completely likely there's more going on. Sometimes kids with different needs can be more physical and it's possible this kind of occurrence is seen as just part of the job. Not saying that's acceptable, but it's a possibility. With no other context though it's not a great response if taken at face value.
It probably would have been more reassuring to get stronger protection guarantees on the teacher's side. Unless the plan was for the teacher to slot in as the punchable feedback loop until they eventually "get him back on track"?
One key aspect to conflict resolution is to acknowledge the other side’s grievances, offer any appropriate apologies (being punched in the face and have glasses broken certainly warrants a heartfelt apology), and if necessary offer any remediation that would satisfy the other party (e.g. offering to pay for the broken glasses, and most importantly, suggesting that they spoke to their child to explain that behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable).
These parents did none of that, and just waved it off as if it’s okay for the kid to do this kind of thing “because they’re hungry”.
Functional people don't punch their teacher in the face because they don't have enough to eat. He may have had low blood sugar AND a behavioral or mental issue that needs to be addressed.
At minimum I would expect a letter from the kid as to what they did was wrong and an apology from both parents and kid. I would expect an offer to pay for the glasses. I would expect the kid to be punished severely. A good example would be selling the kids ps5 to pay for the glasses and not getting him another console this year and making him spend his free time doing unpleasant chores for a month with no outings or rewards of any kind.
This is both non-violent, moral, memorable, directly exemplifies the direct connection between wrongdoing and restitution. It doesn't assign blame to a condition as if being hungry forced him to punch his teacher in the face.
I suppose the reply could have been clipped, but there is no mention of a low blood sugar problem, no mention of a sorry l, just ‘little Timmy needs a super power not to be a violent prick’.
A reasonable place to start is teaching your kid that hitting people is wrong, remember teachers are people too, underpaid overworked people.
Took those Snickers ads way too seriously
I wonder if they saw the ad and thought "a Snickers a day will get expensive, we'll give him a banana instead".
After all, it's just a banana. How much can it possibly cost? Ten dollars?
There's always calmness in the banana stand.
Except during that time before Christmas.
In a situation like this is it better to punch the kid or the parents?
Yes.
Jumping uppercut ala Ryu in Streetfighter
The Rising Dragon Fist, AKA “Shooooooryuken!”
You sound angry. How about eating a nice banana instead?
Bananas piss me off.
Have you tried putting them in the other end?
Do you just never know the size of anything?
https://youtu.be/Ueu9A9S6HD0
Punch the parent and they might learn how to help their kid learn better.
Hey! This is the internet, someone will suggest to play safe, take a swing at all three.
I know I sound old, but I miss the days when I (or even my kids) went to school. If a teacher reached out to parents you knew troubles where waiting at home. Not like being beaten senseless, but a punishment was lurking in your near future which would match your wrong doing.
People will do anything but seek out a therapist. The kid may have a behavioral disorder, and seeking referrals for conduct disorder or something is usually a joint effort since parents get defensive even when such a disorder is often biological, like depression.
Or, y'know, zero tolerance bullshit and the kid gets expelled. That's more common in the US.
Expelled? If they’re Black we just send them right to prison!
Sadly this isn’t a joke
Yes, depending on the age and if police are on campus. Police tend to be permanent on some campuses for "security" but schools with them statistically show a much higher rate of incarceration. Although expulsion is also a fast track to prison, too.
Unsurprisingly, police tend to be in predominantly black schools, although even in desegregated schools (for which there are very few), it's black students most likely to get in trouble for acting out. Socioeconomic status accounts for some of this, though.
If this is the US, ain't nobody can afford a therapist now.
They chose that.
How.
No, really. Specifically tell us all here how “they chose that”.
By fucking the economy so hard they most people live paycheck to paycheck, no savings, and since there's no universal healthcare people need to pay therapy from money they don't have.
This is by design, keep the poor poor so they don't learn enough and get enough resources to change things. Things like fair pay and healthcare cost a lot to industries that pay lobbyists.
If the current status is costing the government more than universal healthcare, who is pocketing the difference? Hospitals, insurance companies.
Yeah, "they choose that". "They" being the industries that pay lobbyists to make sure that "that" keeps happening, and "that" being US citizens not being able to afford therapy, in between other things.
You missed my last paragraph. "They" does not include you, it only includes the industries that benefit from this status quo. Voting is irrelevant for this matter. Did you read my comment? I never mentioned voting.
By voting against their own interests for decades.
Are you talking about the US, or elsewhere?
Bananas are a lot more affordable (for now).
Does Venezuela produce bananas?
My sister in law and her husband are these people.
She had a kid in high school was non-verbal autistic that she gave up for adoption and ignored. Her first son with her husband was definitely on the spectrum and struggled hard in social situations and in school. School actually pushed for the diagnosis, but there were the "no way. Not my kid." Kind of people. And did nothing.
Their second kid came along and hes further along the spectrum than their other kid. He's 6 and still not potty trained and barely talking. My 4 year old passed him developmentally a year or more ago, which seems to have been the catalyst for them to seek help.
Both kids are doing better no that theyre seeing specialist and on development plans with the school. I just cant believe they waited so long... especially because her brother has a son who is also non verbal autistic, and his parents got him diagnosed before i even knew you could see those traits in children
I work at a school and I received training that explicitly told us zero tolerance does not work, made me do a double take. So in at least the northern states things are changing for the better.
Yup, I teach at University in California and get to cite that. It's a little counter intuitive for people, but it's true and much better for teachers to understand. I imagine some places ignore data, though.
I mean, that depends on the age. If that kid is 7 or older, yeah, you should probably look into therapy to figure out where that behavior is coming from. 5 or 6, well, kids are still developing emotional regulation at that point. I'm not saying the reaction should be, "OK, we packed a banana," but probably something more like, "Oh no, I'm so sorry, we're going to have a talk about how it's never OK to hit, have you witnessed this kind of behavior before?" then offer to pay for the glasses. (Also, packing a banana isn't a bad idea, as well as making sure he's getting enough sleep. 9 times out of 10, when young kid gets disregulated, they're over-tired or hungry).
I'm here thinking people are so quick to insist on therapy. We don't even know if they've tried to discipline their child like a normal parent should.
In many ways, bad parenting is often why people go to therapy in the first place, haha. That said, I'm referring to something unrelated to parenting, as there are an assortment of disorders that have little to do with parenting.
Also, discipline is tricky; parents have to use more than punishment in their toolbox, like praise for good work, modeling kindness, etc., and avoid modeling physical punishment since that tends to be the main reason a kid hit other kids... although I doubt the banana parents hit their kids.
Screening can help identify the cause of problematic behavior. In the US, that legally is required by the schools in federal law (i.e. IDEA), but obviously enforcing said law isn't happening, even in better administrations.
It's the school. There's no mystery here.
It's kind of amazing how nobody suspects the teacher or the school when they're the most obvious culprits in ruining the lives of children.
Man it's hard to teach non-violence in an age of violence and emotional deregulation.
"it is very unfortunate that our Jaeydighn used the calming banana as a weapon but we believe it's important for him to express himself freely and from now on we will peel it in an effort to make the impact softer for everyone involved."
If you need a calming banana to not punch people not mistreating you in the face you are a garbage person
SOMEONE didn't get their calming banana!
There aren't enough calming bananas in the universe in 2026
Lol true
You think this kid chose to be in school? It's violent coercion from the start.
It's a child, calm down lol
This "child" could be 7 or 17, which makes a huge difference regarding the appropriateness of their response. We need more context.
Are you saying that there is enough info to call this child a "garbage person" though lol?
Nah, even as a child that's unacceptable. My kid is only 5 and I don't let them hit people, and punish them when they do. The response from the parent shows the apple fell straight down
Edit: if you think this is advocating violence against children, go touch grass or read a single book on parenting ffs. Natural/logical consequences make good punishments for misbehavior, and have gone a long way to helping my kid not act out (and are nonviolent, since that has to be spelled out)
No! Bad! No hitting children!
Punishing is much more than violence against children, and hitting them is one of the worst ways to punish for many reasons.
How about threaten to hit them with gestures?
Or maybe you talk to the kid and take away a privilege they have temporarily that is (at least close to) a natural consequence of behavior? But then again, I'm just a parent of a relatively well adjusted kid who isn't violent and talks to me about their problems, so what the fuck do I know?
Man, the amount of people who default "punishment" to "violence against kids" is fucking stupid.
But it'll get you upvotes on Lemmy apparently.
Show us on the thread where anyone advocated for hitting the kid? All I see is people assuming parents are going to hit the kid.
I never said it was acceptable. Do you call you're children garbage when they misbehave? Does their behavior improve after you tell your child that you think they're garbage? I don't let my children hit anyone either, I just don't call them garbage if they do.
Normal people don't break the teachers glasses and punch them in the face. This is already major behavioral problems if your kids are school age and doing this.
Totally agree. But, normal people also don't go around calling children garbage either.
As someone who was a child and therefore interacted with thousands of other children in public school I can confirm some children are garbage. Do you not remember school? Were all of those people ok?
I remember troubled kids that didn't know how to handle what they where dealing with at home and internally. I don't remember any garbage kids, no. The idea that a child was just born garbage is just cruel, I hope one day you can learn to forgive and let go of that hate inside.
Sounds real normal and healthy. jfc. Who upvotes this trash?
People who think you should teach kids not to hit people. And people who have enough braincells to rub together to understand that punishment and violence against children aren't the same thing.
It IS normal to punish 5 year olds. You don't have to use violence to punish them. 5 years old is enough to understand consequences.
Yeah, it's unacceptable, but it's also unacceptable to call a child a "garbage person" for acting like a child.
Regardless of the labelling, punching someone in the face is absolutely not "acting like a child", it's acting like a garbage person. That shit should not be tolerated or excused away to complain about labelling.
And honestly, excusing away a kid battering their teacher as "acting like a child" is pretty goddamned unacceptable too.
My little brother threw a chair at his preschool teacher. This is absolutely shit kids do, that they need to be taught is unacceptable. You don't teach kids to be better by writing them off as garbage humans, because they're still learning.
If you call your five year old garbage for acting out, you're a shitty parent.
I'm always amazed at how little reading comprehension people have, or how they end up responding to things in their own head.
1 - your example of your little brother acting like an asshole doesn't mean it's "shit that kids do". This is "boys will be boys" shit, and that's not acceptable. This is like saying your little brother throws rocks at moving cars or at animals and it's just "shit kids do". Misbehaving kids do it, and need to be taught better, but it is not normal kid behavior.
2 - no one is saying they're talking to the kid like that
3 - part of teaching kids to be better people is showing them there are natural consequences for their actions, which guess what? That's a form of punishment, and it isn't violence.
I ask my kid what's wrong and work with them to find a solution, and implement natural/logical (and because crayons are needed, non violent) consequences for their misbehavior. I may use choice descriptors for their behavior when they are not in the house, but I would never speak to my kid that way.
It baffles me how many people in this thread don't have a concept of natural/logical consequences as punishment, and it really fucking shows in the responses. But I guess when you're raised with violence and can't be bothered to look into alternatives, it's easy to assume and drag people on the Internet
Who in this thread advocated violence? I advocated selling the kids console to buy the teachers glasses and not getting him another one.
It's amazing that you complain about people not reading and responding to stuff in their head, then you turn around it do it yourself.
1: I quite clearly stated that this was inappropriate behavior that needs to be educated away. I don't know how you think my example is condoning the action. Children need to be taught to keep their hands to themselves, this is a normal part of child development. It is normal for children to have Big Emotions and not know how to use their words yet. Normal doesn't mean it shouldn't be addressed, it just means that every child has to have it addressed.
2: Have you not read the rest of the thread? Starting with the post calling the child a garbage person?
3: I never said anything to the contrary?
Then why are you defending it so hard?
How old is your little brother and how is his life going? If its going well I'm pretty sure it involved some intensive parenting or counseling.
You can call a kid being a garbage person a garbage person. Doesn't mean you won't help them and correct the behavior.
It's not enough to call them names. You gotta punish them! Didn't you see the other comments? \s
What about the state locking kids in a room all day? Tolerated or no?
Sure, why not. Because all punishment is the job of the state, and no parent has the capability to punish their kid without violence, clearly.
/S for those who can't realize punishment and violence are not synonymous
I wouldn't call a particular kid a garbage person to or around that kid in consideration for the effect it might have on that kid. Between you and me kids who do that are a fucked up mess who probably aren't going to end well.
Garbage adults start as garbage children
I dunno about that. Usually kids start out great until garbage adults get a hold of them, and then all bets are off.
Yeah that's what zios and nazis say about murdering children.
Okay, a garbage child then.
People are just violent apes until you raise them to be civilized.
5 year old me would never have punched a teacher just trying to teach the class
How do we know the child's age? 5yo me was super mad at the world (neurodiverse in 1980s).
This is how children are treated. They're completely controlled, disempowered, and then hated. It's completely normalized.
You shouldn’t be in charge of anything. That’s called being complacent and leads to even worse problems.
Because I don't call children garbage? OK lol
What is a dcf call?
Probably Department of Child and Family Services AKA CPS.
On top of all of this, at least in my country, the pay is shit. And no government past or present seems interested in changing it so...
Always the same story on loop.
"Nobody wants to work anymore" - Because the pay is shit.
"We're struggling to fill positions" - Because the pay is shit.
"This generation is laz— The. Pay. Is. Shit.
I was getting paid more than my teacher friends working in the office being a entry-level data entry person. It sucks how we undervalue teachers.
I'm a teacher assistant, 80% sure I want to go into teaching (students assaulting me isn't holding me back. Its just the self confidence of stepping up and leading the class is what's holding me back. And granted, I'm not in the USA, so I don't fear school shootings)
I've had students punch me. I've had students slam doors hard enough to break windows. But I also remember seeing the students learn something. The way their face lights up when they are smarter than their friend, or when they make a connection in math. THATS what is bringing me back to the classroom.
The shy kid in yr 8 is now school captain. The kid I personally nicknamed 'Cartman' because that was his personality, is helping the new kid around school when teachers aren't looking.
Remember the good bits
Judging by the rest of your message, I think you'd be a great teacher, you should become one.
Thank you for the encouraging words. I was going to make a comment about "that's 4 years of study, just for a maybe I will like it". But this year (well, this July) marks 4 years of being a Teacher Assistant, and I'm still ready for another 4 years...
All the signs say "go for it", but the leadership...
The decision is yours to make after all, and it's a pretty important one. But I think any educational system (wherever you're from, doesn't matter) can always use more teachers that actually care for their students and aren't there just to have a job, which isn't always the case unfortunately.
You get used to it, especially after a few times of going through and refining your material. Once you have a clearer vision of the outcome you want a class to have, it's a lot easier to figure out how you can guide groups of students to that point, even if the group dynamics change from year to year.
Should we be worried that Cartman is helping other kids, or is that a sign that he really grew and matured as a person?
Unless it's done by someone adult with MAGA hat, why would helping a kid be a red flag?
From a kid nicknamed "Cartman"..?
Oh... no reason.
You're a beautiful human beeing.
Wife used to be a teacher. Key word USED to.
Had a student who regularly threatened to kill her and destroyed her classroom at least twice a week. She would have to clear all the students into the hall while he went on a rampage in there.
The AP would just come down and give him video games to "calm him down". Guess who learned to freak out for rewards?
It's almost like kids don't like being physically coerced into a prison for their whole day.
Yup, kids should never be coerced into doing anything they don't like. They know best.
thank you
This specific child was being neglected at home. He clearly felt that school was the only place he could exert control without being hit for it.
The solution is obvious
Can you point it out for a dumbass?
Call in ICE and say the kid is an illegal Mexican
Lol
Surely the designer put it up as a prank.
Graphic designers do this crap all the time. I've got an aviation textbook with three meshed gears on the cover:
Is there a community for like these "looks/sounds great until you think about it for two seconds" style art/news/media fails? Because I feel like it would be fun time.
Don't know. I suggest threemeshedgears for the title though.
https://lemmy.world/c/ThreeMeshedGears
Welp I made it
Hey that's not fair, this could have been taken in Europe
Teaching is not Teaching anymore, its doing the job of the breeders these days and raising their kids teaching them decent manners and how not to be a cunt.
Being a teacher is literally like adopting a class full of feral fuckin cats and trying to turn them into decent humans from the POS ipad baby version their parents have created.
This is a miserable take. Either
You have beef with the disparity between the lines for who has responsibility for the child vs who has ultimate authority over the child. And that is fair! But it's a problem with the current structure of the system, and we don't need to harken back to some stupid lie about the good old days to justify the current impasse.
US perspective here. The problems I see:
Going back to when one income could support a family and almost everyone had a parent that was at home that they could rely on is not a stupid lie.
The stupid lie is it is the parent's fault when they both have to work 40+ hours a week (if you even have two parents), take care of the household, help with homework, and deal with the constant curve balls thrown at you by life (car broken down, major sickness, mental disease, dental issues, housing emergency, etc.)
I am lucky to maybe have a hour a day maximum to myself and that is half an hour in the morning and half an hour at night getting ready or going to bed. We are far past the breaking point for the US.
That never fucking existed. There was never a large portion of the population that made enough money for the woman to stay at home, and even when there was enough to apparently make memes about it, it was at most 2 decades.
For real people, women have always worked. In the 1950s, my maternal grandmother ran the general store they owned and lived above while he worked in the factory, and she helped him bale hay on the weekends when it was in season. My paternal grandmother didn't work, and they were dirt poor. She thought it was a woman's place to stay at home and they barely kept food on the table and a roof over their heads. They got frequent financial help from her parents.
My husband: His maternal grandmother didn't work, and the husband had a decent job. And my MiL died bitter because her parents would take all the kids' incomes as teenagers to support the household/themselves. His paternal grandmother worked and retired from a federal job.
It's a lie. It was a lie then to keep women suppressed, and it's a lie now that doesn't serve you like you think it does. The average American has always worked, and women's work has always been discounted. The only ones who didn't work were the wealthy parasite class.
I agree with you that the person I responded to was wrong for dumping on the parents, but everything else is just more grievance politics, but this time from the left.
Seriously. We were middle class wealthy growing up. Mom always worked. When dad was in college, she put him through his degrees. Ran a dry cleaners. When he was a fresh college grad, she did taxes. Still does taxes but is winding down her practice. She picked up bookkeeping reliable enough she ended up being an office manager for a few successful medical and legal practices. Dad ended up retiring when he could no longer work. Physically, not mentally. Mom still works, more for her health than her finances.
Gran, she always worked. She was an RN. Tough as nails, worked prisons because she took the parable of the sheep and goats to heart and was an atheist because the Christians she grew up with didn't.
Gramgram, she was a cost accountant. Worked her whole adult life. Grumpa was a cost accountant, and when he discovered he was not one for the ladies he taught her his trade so she could make money just as well as he could, then he fucked off to San Francisco. And Gramgram, she looked after the family. Remarried, specifically a worthless lump of flesh who could help pay the bills, but she was the main breadwinner.
My wife, well when we got married she was already outearning me even before I said fuck it let's play jazz and she said honey you supported my dreams I'll support yours even though bwahahaha jazz really you couldn't even be a clown so I'm not sure what your point is
You are passionate but wrong. There was a large portion of society that did this in the past and continue to do so.
In Europe almost 50% of the time children are with one parent or the other. It is very common for one parent to not work or work very little during the first five years of child rearing.
Almost a fourth of US households have a stay at home parent. With over 11 million stay at home parents in the US alone. I have a hard time understanding where you are coming from.
You also seem to confuse the issue of parents making enough to comfortably take a lot of time away from work to raise children and the fact that housework has been traditionally unpaid.
I think as a society we should recognize the need for a parent, particularly during the first five years, to be at home. We shouldn't be penalizing people for this. Raising children is tough enough without the economic reality that you will be significantly behind your peers if you actually raise your kids.
No wonder birth rates are down. Having kids has become cost prohibitive in a society that tries to squeeze every penny out of people. We have prioritized making money to the detriment of all over raising children. The system in the US in particular is beyond broken.
I am not talking about unpaid housework, nor did I ever mention parental leave from work/ a pause in a career. I am talking about paid work. Running a general store and baling hay is not housework. Most poor women have always worked. I read the autobiography of Grandma Moses a while back. You'd probably label her a housewife, but she worked a dairy farm like a dog for years with her husband to sell milk and butter. If she's working to make money and provide, she's not a housewife who is free to spend her energies only tending to the family's needs. That is a luxury.
Further, when you mention the European stat... Which I'll take in good faith since there's no citation... You are confusing the first five years of life (preschool) with the original comment which seemed to be about grade school kids as well as your other comments about helping with homework, etc, that also imply grade school age kids. Maybe I could buy your argument about small children, but not school age children.
My point is not to penalize people who choose/have the financial ability to stay home. My point is that it was only really ever economy viable for the wealthier people. For the left to sit around and demand it makes them seem as coddled and out of touch as when they demanded student loan repayment. You are asking for subsidized luxury goods on the backs of people who can barely provide food and shelter for themselves. And maybe you think the whole system should be restructured for the wealthy to pay for it and/ or for us to cut back on military spending to pay for it, etc. but that's not what people lead the argument with. They lead with this expensive, privileged demand.
Most poor women did the work they knew how to. This was often housework. It was common for women to do laundry, dishes, and general cleaning for others. This was also work unless we are going to ignore its value.
I totally understand your poor women angle, but a lot of poor mothers lived in poverty without jobs taking care of their family. Sometimes it was by choice and sometimes not. I am not going to stand in moral judgement of women who were dirt poor and stayed with their family.
I get it, your stock was hard workers. They struggled despite working hard. This is pretty common as my mother's side was literally the Grapes of Wrath because their farm went under during the dustbowl.
I am not sure you understand the struggle of raising children as you stand in judgement to trivialize other's experiences. My wife stayed at home for several years raising our kids and we survived on one income.
Tens of millions of people who are not wealthy choose to stay at home with their children. 20% of stay home parents are men in the US. People are doing what you deny every single day and making it work.
Society and the wealthy benefit greatly from parents raising kids. The problem with the US it is extremely exploitive taking that value and not giving back with garbage childcare, uncaring employers, inflated housing, insane medical costs, etc.
I think people are crazy to have kids in the US. So that makes me insane I guess.
I am a married working mother of two. Don't tell me what I don't understand. I am not trying to uphold my family as some paragon of virtue. They were the most accessible anecdotes I have on hand. My point is women always worked, and the view that they didn't is just a rewrite of history to erase them and their contributions by conservatives, and now this fake history is being repurposed by liberals as some achievable ideal. Why do you think all the early women's rights advocates were demanding equal pay for equal work? Because they were working!
I was going to throw out anecdotes about the folks I know now where one parent has stayed home, but it didn't help to paint the picture of how things "used to be". But as far as what people I know do, the picture remains that it is largely a luxury of the well-off: in households where I am fairly sure the husband makes >$250k/yr, I think they do/did fine (past tense for the mother's that still chose to go back once the children were school-aged). They don't live extravagantly, but there is no hardship. I know a couple where the Dad stays home, unemployed not by choice. The mom makes (I think) between $200k-$250k/yr, and their finances are tight. They are managing, but it's not great. She actually took an assignment overseas where their money would go further and more expenses would be paid by her company, but this administration ended that opportunity and they are back. The last couple I know, the husband makes maybe $100k, and it is a hardship that she thinks her role is at home and will not work. They are constantly struggling to pay rent, to pay their bills, and to buy vehicles. They frequently seek financial help from everyone they know.
Anyway, go read some Simone de Beauvoir. Historically most people were poor and most women worked. She called the women in the upper class who didn't work "parasite women".
Teaching is capitalist babysitting so the kids grow up indoctrinated and so the parents can waste their lives serving capital without the distraction of kids.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guard_labor
Dude school kids were awful when I was one and couldn't understand why they couldn't think logically. I cant imagine how bad it is now after decades of brainrot and phones in schools. I would NEVER be a teacher.
I would but no one is offering enough money for me to do that job
As a youth soccer coach, I'd take this over some of the parents I've dealt with. We had one girl bullying other kids and when we told the mom she refused to believe us. Even when one of the other coaches told her she overheard it. The mom just said she must have misheard.
And this on top of the trump administration convincing everyone that you want to do gender reassignment surgery on their children during lunch.
Where do you think we want to put the calming banana?
Exactly where this teacher wants this parent to put it.
This isn’t even that bad.
The reason bullies get away with being bullies at school is cause their parents also tend to be bullies. So when the little shit gets in trouble for being a bully, his fat parents will waddle in and bully the stuff and faculty for daring to discipline their little skid mark. Faculty don’t wanna deal with this, so they let the little shits get away with everything and only punishing the kids who fight back
Solid description
I’m feeling like there’s more to this story
All the problematic peers I’ve known either were born into a neglectful or hostile household, or were neurodivergent of some kind and didn’t fit in with the environment we were in, since those who were typical and were born into understanding families would just do what they were supposed to do.
Due to how schools where I live are supposed to be looking out for signs of neurodivergence or other differences, while also being underfunded without a justification, many students aren’t even seen and once they get to middle or high school, they become the violent and problematic ones.
Then again though, it’s also the parents’ responsibility to make sure their own child is heard and cared for to prevent such outbursts from happening in the first place, and those neglectful or hostile households are likely a result of the parents not understanding what being mentally healthy means.
This stupidity makes me need a calming banana.
Good first step, now make him write “I will eat my calming banana instead of getting angry” 1000 times on the chalkboard like Bart.
Dear Parent,
In an effort to break the routine of unacceptable parenting, I would like to demonstrate what you can do with banans. First, get a large bunch of preferrably green bananas. Remove two of these bananas from the bunch. Take one banana, and insert the stem rigorously into your right ear canal. Repeat with the other banana in your left ear canal. Do not remove the banana until they begin to wither.
And thats it!
The effort to reduce your child's violent outbursts remains the same, but at least you will be able to share your Superpower of Narrow Intelligence with the public! Everyone will unequivocally know that you are a moron.
"Ah yes, the ancient cure for physical assault: potassium. I’m sure the glasses will magically fix themselves once he finishes his 'Superpower' fruit. 🍌👓
I need a calming banana after reading this.
Punch a teacher in the face, get a free banana. Sounds like a great deal for the kid. Maybe if he shoots his teacher he'll get a "calming Nintendo".
Thanks Super-Nintendo Chalmers
"Thanks Super-Nintendo Calmers" was right there bro.
Doh
Learn to shoot CEOs for a calming life! Nice!
I'm just surprised they didn't write something like "You deserved it". It gets even worse than this, believe it or not.
I feel like the teacher should be someone who not only possesses great knowledge and the capacity to guide, but also the ability to solo the entire classroom in a fight to make them submit and listen the fuck up.
Free MMA classes for all the teaching staff
Fighting ftw!
No joke, our school hired an ex-boxer for the behavioral remidiation class.
He was also a really good teacher, and did a great job engaging with a lot of the kids, but he pretty much had physical violence off the table.
The more serious students will be armed. You're better off fleeing out a window.
Teacher should just learn to fight against armed opponents
Boot to the head!
And one more for Jenny and the whimp!
Boot to the head!
Boot to the head!
Teaching in a school has greatly changed over the past 3 decades. It's still a rewarding career, but not one I wanted to stick with - the pressure to work miracles is too high, and the support just isn't there to do so.
What gets me is the complete lack of respect, while also having standards that expect you to be a saint.
Teaching title 1, after the district reorganized and combined schools with rival gangs - roster changing every day, buses showing up hours late, not being allowed to kick disruptive students out of the classroom, and having to withstand verbal abuse…
They want you to be Jesus. Spend your own money on supplies, focus on “building a relationship” with the student who screamed “fucking f-ggot” in front of the principal at you…
Friend was offered $80k to head up a new middle school Spanish esl dept, witb 2 other teachers. A month before school was to start, they set a date to finalize the contract. They'd never even interviewed for the 2 other teachers. They wanted her to see all 350+ kids 2x a week. And the salary had dropped to $21.6K, which is the state minimum wage of 15$ for 180 8hr days. This is in a super high COL town- the grocery store starts at $27 an hour, and $2k a month rent is a steal.
She laughed at them an walked. Had a job for 38 an hour in a construction firm's office in 2 days (where Spanish fluency is a marketable skill dental a high esl labor force)
The schools response was the admin in charge of her hiring trying to throw her under the bus. She wrote an OP ED to the paper calling my friend out by name (which was blacked out by the paper per their agreement- it was so bad the paper reached out and asked her permission to print it- she agreed, with her name redacted and a promise theyd print her rebuttal as op Ed the following week) they tried to blame her for backing out last minute leaving them in the lurch, and claiming it was her unwillingness to teach that was to blame for their lack of a proper esl dept despite almost 1/3 of the students being esl.
The bait and switch is such a thing.
I hated chemistry. My brain wants science that is as much as possible about doing pure math. I don’t want to be memorize exceptions to every little rule and naming conventions that also have exceptions. I wanted to teach physics, I interviewed for physics. I get the job, then I find out I’m teaching chemistry.
They didn’t care that i wasn’t certified for chemistry, and that I scraped through that certification test (because I’m not going to teach anything I’m not certified to teach and took the test before the school year started) with knowing what a hydrogen bond was, much less anything covered in an organic chemistry class….
I also had classes that were 2/3 special education, which mandated a coteacher. I met her in 3 weeks in and saw her once a month, because she needed to serve as a substitute teacher. I was not certified in SPED at the time, and the IEPs they gave me were a literal excel spreadsheet with the accommodations ticked off which is beyond illegal.
The system is so beyond broken. No one seems to give a shit but there are parts of the country which are just failing.
Ok great, next time your kid hits me I'm going to hit him back.
You're an adult. Just bring your own calming banana. Duh!
hits the kid with the banana
"Calm the fuck down!"
Unfortunately I don't possess any banana related super powers.
So like, I've trained martial arts briefly, right? It's really important not to train your "I'm in danger" instincts away, because they can protect you. However, this can unfortunately lead to you punting a 7 year old.
Add nurses getting punched by demented lead ridden boomers and society's cooked.
Used to work in a hospital. I've been on foley watch for a sex offender who kept trying to get the female nurses to touch his dick. Fuck that job.
that kid does not have good home
Sounds reasonable to give the kid some breakfast before school
the parent got told that his kid assaulted a teacher and this is the response, raving about some "calming bananas". Also not a word of apology.
By the fact there is no salutation and no signature, and the text clearly doesn't stand by itself as a complete reply to anything, I'm going to assume it's a short excerpt from the email reply, and that there was an apology.
well,i dont see it on the picture. but hopefully i'm wrong about it.
Well, this is the public facing response
Sounds like the school can't control the kids. More control needed. \s
its the parents who dont control their kid
Banana of calming, plus 10 to calmness.
Nothing makes me wanna be a teacher like seeing all of the horrible videos on the internet of students fucking up their teachers and assaulting them. Wait, I think I said that wrong…
Coming up on three generations now who are afraid of conflict.
I feel like I'm entering my old man phase, but it feels like we're teaching kids to do everything they can to evade accountability as a rule.
Well yeah, accountability only gets you in trouble. There's no incentive for taking accountability.
There's no "at least you were honest." Even if someone unintentionally makes a genuine mistake, they'll burn for it if it's ever pinned to them. Just fade into the background and don't attract notice to yourself, cause as soon as you accept blame for one thing, people will use you as a scapegoat for everything else that goes wrong.
Don't practice self-awareness, it'll only get you punished. Don't feel remorse for your actions, it'll only get you punished. That's the prevailing and all-pervading messaging these days. Do you want to be the sorry sucker to try to reverse that trend?
The authorities never accept accountability, they just pass the buck to their subordinates. Everyone seems to follow that example, and the buck gets passed down until it can't go any lower and the person at the bottom gets stuck with the hot potato.
This behavior is continuously reinforced by society. Anyone who expects it to be otherwise learns their lesson real quick. Never admit to being anything less than perfect, or else the consequences may follow you for the rest of your life.
I used to be a buyer for a manufacturing facility. We'd joke that if something went wrong in production, they would blame the scheduler, the scheduler would blame the buyer, the buyer would blame the supplier, and the supplier would blame our quality team.
As long as you're not the last on the list, your job is secure.
(Our QA dept had incredibly high turnover.)
I don't think this is evading responsibility. I think this is a family who can't afford mental health care for their child, and the school system is ill-equipped to handle it.
This would all go through the administration and definitely not tolerated outside a behavioral challenges classroom at my kids school.
IMO the only real reason is 80k after 20 years . And I live in an affluent neighborhood in a decently funded state.
Y best friend growing up is at 20 years and barely @ 50.
Depends where you are blue states tend to pay their teachers better. Still have a lot of the same parental and administrative issues but at least they generally dont have to work a second job for ends to meet.
So that students end up writing better than you. 80k isn't an absurd salary in most cost of living areas with lots of families. I'm sure there are locations where that might be considered high, but honestly I couldn't give two fucks about any argument why teachers of 20 years should be paid well.
Totally tangential, but:
Am I the only person who... basically always gets an upset stomach from eating a banana?
They seem like they always turn into... very angry acid in my stomach, I'll often get acid reflux from them.
... Uh yeah, am I an anomalous mutant, or... do other people experience this, with bananas?
Attempting to wind this back around to the actual topic:
For me, even when used properly, bananas have never been a source of comfort. =[
B a n a n a s are considered histamine liberators so you might look at a list of high histamine or histamine liberating foods to see if you have possibly histamine intolerance
... huh.
That... does... kind of seem to match up, the symptoms match up pretty well.
But there are a good deal of foods that I am seeing as also high in histamines (or ability to trigger histamine release or create histamines or something like that)... which give me little to no trouble, that I actually eat fairly often.
... hrm.
Either way, didn't even know this was a thing, so, thanks for informing me!
Sorry bruh the second you tell me to ditch the sauerkraut and kefir you lost me
Your fucking kid should get his teeth knocked out the back of his head. How's that banana?
The calcium will help regrow them⸮
Calming banana uno reverse
best way to learn a subject. i couldn't do it more than a few years. imagine gradeschool math for 20 years with screaming kids. no thanks
Oh yeah, the parents are almost as feral as the kids these days.
Unless, and hear me out, they beat that child with multiple bananas at home for 6 straight hours. I mean they pelt him non stop with those large, hard, and un-ripe South American bananas that are like 2lbs of concrete. Then they send him to school with one of those things in his backpack to induce trauma to be a better human.
Ahh, child abuse to ensure compliance. I like it.
"Calming Banana" actually sounds like a great band name. Seriously!
Frustrating it may be, but the alternative like not teaching is far worse.
Bad parenting is expected, unfortunately. That I have read domestic violence has to do with truancy and antisocial behavior.
I'm surprised teachers haven't gone full ISIS post-covid.
isn't there vicarious liability for parents of their kids when the runts exhibit continuous violent behavior?
Absolutely not. I know multiple teachers and I've never once seen a parent held accountable for their child's behavior.
"Worst" a school can do is suspend them and the parents bitch about that and threaten to sue.
Why do people believe this even happened? When did this happen? Which country did this happen in?
This is rage bait. The users name is "johnny bananas".
Is it faked? Probably. Is it outside the realm of possibility? Not at all. My mom spent most of her life as an elementary school teacher. I got to hear a lot of the stories about kids she dealt with. Some kids are messed up and need help. Too often their parents are too in one way or another. Mom loved all the kids, even the difficult ones. She said it would be a perfect job if she didn't have to deal with the crazy parents and school administrators.
Definitely has an air of truthiness.
Would your mom have posted her stories to twitter if she knew how?
She might have, but cancer finally won out 15 years ago. Probably would have written some great stuff :)
It will never be odd to me that people will share their personal lives to a bunch of strangers so freely.
“Which country” now THAT’S rage bait.
Theres an old article of this happening in the USSR in 1979
Yeah! If they're lying about their name, who knows what else they're lying about?!
Man, I hope you're a troll, because otherwise that's some S-tier stupidity.
Right. Because johnny bananas wrote about how s parent of their student gave their kid a comfort banana. And I'm the stupid one. Enjoy eating that onion.
Ah, Reddit.
Thank you! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills reading these facebook level comments on this obviously fake rage bait.
I was spanked as a kid. I don't think it did any good. I don't want to spank my kids.
I must say, this does make me reconsider my opinions.
/s
Yeah, please don't beat your kids. Not only does it not work, it also damages your relationship with them and then they need to get therapy later.
I'm not going to. I don't want to spank my kids. Trust me, I was raised on Michael and Debi Pearl. I know where that road goes.
As a parent of two very different and spectrum-y kids, it is incredible just how effective gentle parenting is. You have to be mindful of your kids' needs, make sure they aren't tired or hangry or just in an environment/situation that lends itself to poor decisions (and if they are, guide them towards resolving that) and dole out timeouts and losing privileges as appropriate for the individual child and situation. The other thing to remember is kids will test limits all the time, so you need to be ready to make those limits clear and make it clear when they try something new which is not okay. Mostly it comes down to consistent expectations and being clear and consistent with your and communication and punishments
Of course. I believe in gentle parenting. What do we even call the "strategy" on display from OOOP?
Strikes me almost like someone on the spectrum trying to solution when the other just wants acknowledgement and an apology. But being hangry is absolutely a thing, especially with kids so it is possible the "calming banana" might work
I remember a lot of kids getting spanked at school in the '80s. Most were more worried about the additional spanking they would get at home as punishment for misbehaving enough to get spanked at school.
You don't have to lay hands (or belts, or whatever) on your child to set and enforce strong boundaries and expectations. Kids need those guardrails to help them learn to navigate the world.
Nobody said that maintaining oppressive systems was EZ...
Seriously tho. I've worked as a teacher. The indoctrination system is pure garbage.
I know like 3 people IRL that are expecting rn in this hell hole situation and I cannot for the life of me figure out how they can be so f'ng stupid. I ain't even bothering with a "congrats" when I see these ppl.
Now of all times is the most irresponsible thing you can be stuck with. Blessing my ass.
What's that have to do with this post?
I don’t think there’s much studying involved to become a teacher, unless you’re special. The coursework, at a base level, is things that are covered in nearly every course you took to get there.
That being said, the real hard component is essentially parenting kids whose parents have left the job up to the public school system. Teaching is a hard job, but getting there is not.
Also this
This is why I love private boarding schools. Punishments are swift & violent. And crying for attention will get you none.
that's awful!
I bet being physically punished for inane bullshit is great for building character
/s
Ah yes. Love the downvotes 😌
I don't really see the issue here. Kid could be acting out due to low blood sugar. It's certainly a reasonable place to start.
Did the teacher expect the parents to say, "Sorry about that, we just bought new jumper cables to beat him with so it won't be a problem anymore."
Well, assuming that's the entire email that was sent, some basic level of empathy might not have been amiss. "So sorry about that, are you okay? We'll pay for the glasses. Obviously this behavior isn't okay; we've discussed it and we're going to try..."
They also clearly aren't holding the kid accountable for his actions. To me that's the larger problem. Trying to address root causes is fine, but you don't get to go around attacking people even if you aren't feeling well. Part of parenting is teaching emotional regulation and consequences for your actions.
“Little johnny goes around kicking dogs, but that’s society failing him, not anything we have done or latent inside him. He’s our little miracle, and we will sue you if you make him think otherwise”
The other possibility is that they're thinking of it in a defensive mindset and aren't wanting to put anything in writing that could be construed as acknowledging fault, in case it results in a lawsuit.
And just how the fuck do you know that was the ENTIRE email that was sent, rather than just a clip of the relevant part?
I don't, which is why I clearly stated the assumption I was making and positioned my comment as conditional on that assumption being true.
Assuming this is anything above pre-k, I'd be hoping that the parents would respond with "Sorry we've spoken with him about this unacceptable behavior / we're connecting with a children's counselor to address anger issues / etc."
If it's at the point that I'm getting punched in the face at work, I might also be annoyed at their response being
And if this was a teacher with a real incident in a public school, you'd expect their response to involve a parent/teacher conference with administration, possibly a behavioral intervention plan or other outcomes. Email isn't enough.
That's a false dichotomy. Reasonable responses are framed as either "kid has low blood sugar so I'm packing him a banana", or "sorry, we'll beat him with jumper cables". There's like 50 reasonable responses between those extremes.
Do you think that if you were teaching a class and one of the students punched you in the face so hard that they broke your expensive prescription eyewear, that you would actually just dust yourself off and go, "oh dear, you poor thing - are you acting out due to low blood sugar? I can go get you a banana".
You really think that's a reasonable response for any human?
Hear me out, maybe we need to teach the kid that hitting isn't okay even when they're hungry
I'm hoping this was cut off from a longer email, but if it was not she probably could've at least expected the parents to apologize on behalf of their kid, ensure they spoke to their kid about why it's inappropriate to hit people, probably have the kid apologize, and depending on some other factors offer some kind of compensation for the glasses at least as a token gesture.
If your kid hit someone in the face hard enough to break their glasses and your only response is maybe they were hungry here's how I can address that, I can potentially see why they might have done it in the first place.
There's certainly more to the story just based on the use of the phrase, "break this routine." Punching people in the face is a routine?
Yea completely likely there's more going on. Sometimes kids with different needs can be more physical and it's possible this kind of occurrence is seen as just part of the job. Not saying that's acceptable, but it's a possibility. With no other context though it's not a great response if taken at face value.
It probably would have been more reassuring to get stronger protection guarantees on the teacher's side. Unless the plan was for the teacher to slot in as the punchable feedback loop until they eventually "get him back on track"?
One key aspect to conflict resolution is to acknowledge the other side’s grievances, offer any appropriate apologies (being punched in the face and have glasses broken certainly warrants a heartfelt apology), and if necessary offer any remediation that would satisfy the other party (e.g. offering to pay for the broken glasses, and most importantly, suggesting that they spoke to their child to explain that behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable).
These parents did none of that, and just waved it off as if it’s okay for the kid to do this kind of thing “because they’re hungry”.
Did none of that which we can see. The email is cropped.
Functional people don't punch their teacher in the face because they don't have enough to eat. He may have had low blood sugar AND a behavioral or mental issue that needs to be addressed.
At minimum I would expect a letter from the kid as to what they did was wrong and an apology from both parents and kid. I would expect an offer to pay for the glasses. I would expect the kid to be punished severely. A good example would be selling the kids ps5 to pay for the glasses and not getting him another console this year and making him spend his free time doing unpleasant chores for a month with no outings or rewards of any kind.
This is both non-violent, moral, memorable, directly exemplifies the direct connection between wrongdoing and restitution. It doesn't assign blame to a condition as if being hungry forced him to punch his teacher in the face.
We have no idea how old the kid is.
The issue is the parents’ refusal to take responsibility for their own child’s behavior.
Which is one of the tentpole requirement of being a parent.
I suppose the reply could have been clipped, but there is no mention of a low blood sugar problem, no mention of a sorry l, just ‘little Timmy needs a super power not to be a violent prick’.
A reasonable place to start is teaching your kid that hitting people is wrong, remember teachers are people too, underpaid overworked people.
"He may be hungry from the bus ride and is acting out from this." That is where low blood sugar is referenced.
Accidentally skipped that entire line, reading is hard.
I have doubts it's a real email anyway. Seems like rage bait to me.