U.S. House Speaker calls Portland naked bike ride [protest] ‘most threatening thing I’ve seen yet’
![U.S. House Speaker calls Portland naked bike ride [protest] ‘most threatening thing I’ve seen yet’](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/c1597e35-54f1-47d1-b77e-81d2619e5e50.jpeg)
https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2025/10/us-house-speaker-calls-portland-naked-bike-ride-most-threatening-thing-ive-seen-yet.htmlOpen linkView original on lemmy.world1006
Comments142
He saw it on TV instead of through his porn accountability app. It was terrifying for him to not share his viewing with his son.
Oh yeah, he does that.
Dicks out for democracy.
Tits out against tyranny.
Buttholes out against bastards.
The battle of the buttholes?
Sounds like a good time
Eh, I'm just gonna stay at home and fart around.
Butthole royale
What an impressively sheltered life he's lived.
Well what do you expect when his son won't let him watch porn?
How perfectly normal
Did he not see Jan 6th 2021?
You mean that fake Jan 6 Antifa woke FBI mob that were unarmed and just peaceful tourists?
Unlike that nothing burger, where five people died...
This VIOLENT bike ride had DICKS out.
I again ask, why did Trump pardon all those Antifa woke FBI crisis actors paid by Soros?
Right? I didn't see cyclists smear shit all over the place before leaving.
Their bike seats smell funny! I am not taking questions on why I'm sniffing strangers bike seats.
Johnson's definitely got the furtive look of a gusset-sniffer, and probably a bike-seat-sniffer too.
The U.S. is such a strange place, where a sizable part of the population is more terrified of tits than guns.
Can i post this into the microblog memes community with the title "we need more open carry boobs"?
Go for it
It's only a matter of time until boob registration will be mandatory.
It would make much more sense if our MIC developed these...
...huh. I find the missile-to-bust ratio to be implausible.
You've never been to Las Vegas, then.
Open carrying tits is way less common.
Would you open carry your tits in schools !!?
Arming teachers with boobs is the only way to stop all the school boobings.
Seriously though : phrased like that it highlights how dumb the argument sounds for arming the teachers
Isn't that the most American statement ever. Belligerent assholes walking around with automatic rifles and tacticool pseudo military gear from Ebay? What a patriotic display! A bunch of people without clothes just biking around? The most threatening thing I've seen yet!
Lmao, Christians are too funny to me. Violence and murder, a-ok; little bit of nudity, "they're very threatening!"
I know, right? Like even as a kid the idea that Robocop (with some dude melting and getting smashed into a flesh smoothy) was just as bad as seeing a woman's boob was baffling. It still is as an adult.
Copaganda
They weren't even without clothes, apparently. Just in a bit less.
Next time someone says lefties are too soft, remember that Mike Johnson feels deeply threatened by naked people on bikes in a city on the other side of the country from him.
Portland does this sort of thing every year. Clutch your pearls harder, you mushroom-fluffing fascist.
The only thing it threatened was your fragile sense of heterosexuality upon seeing all those chilly willies.
Yeah, I heard the weather was pretty bad this year. Ngl, though, I feel feel like my fragile sense of masculinity would be much more threatened by a bunch of massive flopping songs on a hot day, than it would be by a bunch of tiny chilly willies on a cold day.
...Hold up. Poor/middle class guys with small schlongs drive huge trucks and loud cars. Does this mean that rich guys with tiny tallywhackers go into politics?
Flopping songs. I can hear their sound now.
Seattle does a naked bike ride every solstice festival!
Time to start up a winter solstice festival. I'm actually a little surprised we don't have one (or do we?).
Apparently there’s something at Green Lake on two weekends, 5-8pm. But I’m always too seasonally depressed to go anywhere for the winter solstice.
Uh, I'd have gone with those planes crashing into the WTC, but sure.
Or the lunatics assaulting our capital to keep a wannabe dictator in power
So, he considers unarmed, naked people "threatening"? What a weak, cowardly snowflake.
all those meatswords t he men are carrying could seriously harm him.
In his ego too, where it hurts the most.
He's worried about being stabbed, repeatedly, and liking it.
He's afraid it will awaken something in him.
He's seen the dildo seat videos and he secretly hopes they'll appear in mainstream media from coverage of the protest. He's gleeful with the possibility, he can't stop talking about it
Nothing threatens Conservatives than casual nudity. Got it.
Wait until they learn about guillotines!
How much longer, though? We've been very patient.
Why not moon 'em as they get the chop?
The phrase "the most threatening thing I’ve seen yet was the naked bicyclers in Portland who were protesting ICE down there," cannot logically be anything except a defense of Portland. There is no other logical interpretation. It logically means that Portland has nothing more threatening than peaceful naked bicyclers. They can't even carry a concealed weapon.
But since Johnson is apparently disconnected from reality and basic logic, he can say something that defends Portland and pretend like it is a criticism of Portland. Is it even possible that he's so delusional that he believes what he's saying? No, I think it's very unlikely.
Even though the article says "it does not seem that he was joking," I still have trouble believing it. I have to convince myself that Mike Johnson wouldn't publicly defend Portland as being safe in order to believe that he wasn't joking.
But then, what am I left with? No human being over, say, 15, with reasonable intelligence, could think about that statement that Johnson said and believe he was telling the truth.
So, the explanation is that Mike Johnson is so used to getting away with lying that he'll just say anything. And meanwhile, his audience are so used to not thinking that they don't even call him on it.
Not with that attitude.
Zap carry ftw
Fascists don't do logic or coherency. We know they're lying. They know that we know. But it's a show of power for them to lie anyway.
I forgot nudity is like the ultimate taboo in the USA. Janet Jackson was sent to Guantanamo for her nip-nip popping out a little, while meanwhile over the pond there are nude Germans on every beach and children are raised by Eurotrash on late night TV.
That Eurotrash nudity was always such a gamble. Always a toss-up between actually attractive women, and a 73 year-old Danish naturist with tits like windsocks. Or Lolo bloody Ferrari and her horrendous stretched beachballs.
So THAT'S where my ex-wife vanished off to...
Long boobies are in style now. You'll see.
Janet Jackson was not a prisoner at Gitmo wtf
Wooosh 😃
Cleared for takeoff.
Roger, Roger.
(Username checks out)
I kind of like the lore that Janet Jackson has been in Guantanamo this entire time and the rest of us completely missed the memo.
I wouldn't have noticed either way to be fair
He's really thinking "All those cocks and not enough time to suck them all."
"Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot."
/37
In a row??!?!!??!!
He needs to figure out the Mean Jerk Time.
some of them seemed to be too large or long for him.
Nothing a bit of determination can't fix
Doesn't he have a secret Grindr account? Somehow, I think he's seen worse.
His son gave him a pass on that one.
No. Some no-name tik-toker claimed he had proof and threatened to reveal it, and then offered no evidence when the time came. But, the internet being what it is, people rolled with it because I guess the truth should never get in the way of a good story.
Seems like he is totally cool with the stuff Donald Trump did with underage girls, but he can’t handle seeing adults naked?
Weird.
I saw a young girl with a knee on her neck the other day. Saw them arresting people at a Spanish speaking mass today. Idk I’ve seen some threatening things
What a fucking gimp lol... This is best laugh I've had in at least the month. The things these pussies are afraid of. Fucking lol
How DARE they
KIDNAP CHILDREN AT GUNPOINT AND TAKE THEM TO UNDISCLOSED LOCATIONS AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS OR LAWYERS!RIDE BIKES NAKED!Awww... Did those naked bikers make you feew insecuwe? Awww...
that’s so much more terrifying than a Portland resident in a frog costume dancing in front of a passel of cosplaying ICE thugs, isn’t it, Mike?
Candy ass can't hack seeing nekkid bodies?? WTF does he use grndr for, the conversations? lol
He just finds nekkid ladies to be icky. Also the men aren't necessarily twinks or bears that he enjoys.
That's just the penises awakening something in him again.
He's probably also thinks labias are scary and gross.
I’m guessing he doesn’t know that New Orleans does this as well? In his home state? Nobody tell him.
Pffft, snowflake.
Perhaps what Speaker Johnson is saying is true (who am I kidding?). The political violence from "the Left" has been such a nothingburger that the most henious thing that he had seen thus far is a cycling group with a few naked people. Write that down as public testimony for the state attorneys' cases.
Yeah I thought tuffs as well. It’s the most threatening thing he’s seen because there hasn’t been any other threatening things.
Pinching a ball on a bike seat is a clear and present danger on a naked bike ride though.
To be serious for a moment, he doesn't believe that for a second.
He's just bullshiting to further the false narrative that his fascist regime is pushing as they continue deploying the military against the american public and other opponents of fascism.
“nekkid terrorists…on bi-cycles!!!”
threatening to his anti masturbation pact with his son?
D’oh, came here to post this. You win :).
Trust the sexuality repressed American to see a naked person and get scared.
They're not all like that of course but their culture is kind weird, like they don't even seem to teach proper sex education in all their schools? They teach abstinence and such even sometimes? Wild.
This reads to me like mockery. As in, "Naked bike riding is the most dangerous demonstration so far." Not dangerous at all.
This Mike Johnson is the slimiest piece of glue holding a lot of this bad shit together. Fuck Mike Johnson and his glorious worship (or fear) of his dear leader. He's the wormtongue for our times.
I wouldn't slander Grima in that way
Damn that's all they had to do? Show up? THAT's the most threatening thing they've seen? Holy shit send more nudists on bikes
I feel like pointing out the ignorance or cowardice in this statement is just playing their game.
The main purpose of the statement is to get a scary sound bite from a high ranking government official that the media can use to "credibly" scare millions of people who don't pay close attention to the world around them, and make the American dictatorship more palatable to them.
Then there's always the secondary benefit of rubbing their open hypocrisy in their enemies' faces.
I bet he thought so. Had to report to his son about it.
His protection of pedophiles is the most threatening thing I’ve ever seen.
“Flood the zone with shit.”
He prolly recognized some of the penises and panicked.
US House Speaker A Giant Fucking Pussy
Is that even an article? It doesn't even have a full quote.
It's paywalled.
Weird, I didn't even see any kind of prompt. You'd think they'd want to ask at least.
You're probably blocking it
I get a “please disable your adblocker” that cannot be closed and removes the ability to see any menus on my phone. So yeah that’s fun, their web design necessitates a force close.
I suppose that's probably tied for the most threatening thing against ICE he's seen, but that's because nothing particularly threatening has been done at all. So, technically the truth?
Must be a candy ass life, then.
What a pussy. You live in a state with alligators and this is the most threatening thing you've ever seen? What a loser.
https://archive.li/PqJx0
Has he seen the school board meetings about banning books?
checks
Okay, this isn't nottheonion
Lmao, Christians are too funny to me. Violence and murder, a-ok; little bit of nudity, "they're very threatening!"
puritanical beliefs brought over from europe somehow, but some how europe never had those beliefs, except the recently conservative men.
Oliver Cromwell ruled England and was exactly this sort of person.
Nothing more threatening than a limp flaccid cock amirite?
#incels
#puritans
Just wait till No Kings II. We're going to turn out so peacefully it just might scare him into a coma.
we should show him a pike and shot line so he can compare the two
Damn, he must never get out of his house then
I wonder what his thoughts are with Adam & Eve... or Adam & Steve, as rumors suggest.
Motherfucker hasn't met me yet. Because I'm far more threatening to ICE than anything Portland has to offer.
Careful, men - those guys are packing!
Well we just found out who doesn't pay attention to their security briefings
Or those are all things he wants to happen....
That racist loser would hold the same opinion for a FKK (Freikörperkultur, Free Body Culture) beach in Germany.
To be honest, I thought the furies dancing was way more disturbing
Furries at least have a decent chance of having claws and/or fangs.
Poor wittle snowflake
All those poor ICE babies saw nudity, which made them horny, which means that they're all going to hell now 😔 .
sure thing, dude who has a porn pact with his son, I'm sure you've never seen naked people before
What I'm hearing is that people should get naked in a reverse psychological leverage attitude?
Reminds me of the naked warrior unit from Rome: Total war
"They are the bad people, not us", got it.
mikey doesnt seem interested in the women.
I suspect his proclivities run more in the direction of livestock.
Naked events like this aren't about showing off your smokin hot body, they're about freeing oneself from the confines of clothing and the societal expectation that everyone cover up. It's about embracing the natural state of nudity and enjoying the feeling of nudity. There's also a shock factor that's similarly effective in protest like this, particularly in illiciting reactions from conservatives while ridiculing them
Everyone here is a humourless robot
Women exist for more than your sexual gratification. Objectifying women isn't funny
You’re gross, that came out of your brain not mine.