Spyke
reddthat.com

I'm sponsored by Big Gay to promote liking cocks. They have a good health plan which includes free prostate exams. The PTO is a bit underwhelming tho; they really expect you to push cockliking 24/7, 365. It's hard

63

It's hard

Sounds like you're doing a good job though. They're lucky to have a hard representative like you.

33
lemmy.today

Wait, you all get paid?!

My recruiter told me this was entirely a volunteer position.

38
lemmy.ml

Thought we were doing it for the love of the game honestly.

8

The sorosbucks seem to be drying up lately. All these abortions aren’t going to pay for themselves, I might have to go paint a few crosswalks with rainbows to make up the difference

25
feddit.org

Currently trying to get funded by the shadow furry communist catgirl government

17

Ben & Jerries. I'm not a real believer though, I'm only in it for the compensation in product. Tubs and tubs of ice cream.

17
feddit.nl

I work in the warehouse for Antifa Co. Hillary Clinton and Obama sign my checks!

14

Currently I get my salary indirectly from the International Practical Chemtrail Cabal (IPCC), with the social media PR side more as a side hustle.

12
lemmy.world

I'm being funded by penguins. I don't know why, I don't even like mackerel that much but these fuckers swam from Antarctica, up the Mississippi, up a few tributaries, to deliver more fish than I know what to do with. So I can't tell them to fuck off and that I already am on their side. That'd just be mean. So anyways, anybody want some fish?

12
lemmy.ca

I’m funded by Big Small, the lobbying group for those people who sell hand made crafts on the sidewalk.

9

According to my government I'm the lackey of Soros, getting paid to make our kids gay and bring migrants into the country. It honestly starts to sound like a good deal, especially when I look at the paycheck I get at CPS

9

I'm actually funding the shadowy leftwing cabal unfortunately. Would be nice if it went the other way but alas

8

Formerly funded by the biggest socialist organization in the USA. They owe me money (whenever the current pissing match ends) and i kinda need it.

6

A lefty grubby commie mom and pop global big box store. Its all very socialist.

5

Tell them I offered a whole $5 more. If that doesn't get management to scramble for a budget extension, nothing will.

4

You reached the end