Spyke
dandelionreply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Meaning there isn't an instance for women, nor are there multiple communities - as far as I know there's just this one community.

65

sorry, I should have clarified that I was talking about active communities (where users regularly visit and interact)

2
lemmy.world

lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it's not a "women's space" as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it's probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance "by women for women". I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.

122
Konkyerreply
lemmy.world

As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.

2

They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.

3
r.EndTimesreply
lemm.ee

spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans

-1
tomenzggreply
midwest.social

We all pretend that it didn't exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that's the informal rule.

13

Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it's less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.

9
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I've lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.

107

yep it's pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there's dozens of comments saying "what about the men" and completely missing the point

54
mholivreply
lemmy.world

EDIT: Look at the responses to this comment for the proof.

100%

It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.

Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.

It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.

I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.

Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “everyone has that why think about women” or “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.

30

Some instances have a left-leaning culture. Lemmy.world definitively does not.

3
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.

that's kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.

Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it's just how it is now. Sort of always has been.

-16
mholivreply
lemmy.world

THIS. EXACTY THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.

Me: talks about issue disproportionately affecting women.

Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.

29
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Lmao look at that douchebag's comment history. Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.

13
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.

oh no funny man on the internet yaps a lot about things.

I come here for sociological research more than anything.

-16
lemmyslothreply
lemm.ee

I seriously doubt you know what the word research means.

4
Amanduhreply
lemm.ee

I bet you can take any situation and make yourself a victim

-1
mholivreply
lemmy.world

Stttooooppp you’re giving me old school internet sexism nostalgia. 😂 That 2008 energy.

Do you miss halo 3 lobbies too?

3

yeah bro, it's the internet, everybody has opinions.

"yeah so actually i think this is a big problem"

"yeah evidently it must be a problem, but like, this has always been a problem, and seems to be a consistent problem"

"YOU'RE LITERALLY THE PROBLEM!!!!"

Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.

also to be clear, you are literally straw-manning me here, i'm not saying that "men have to suffer with women having an opinions" nobody cares, it is what it is, i think it's interesting actually. You're the one arguing that because people discuss topics that they find personally relevant is somehow "oppressing women"

I'm not saying you shouldn't shitpost about that stuff in shitpost threads, by all means do, there's interesting dialogue in it. I'm just saying this is a common occurrence anywhere on the internet, for any community. Hell go find a community for something as mundane as lego, you'll find the same shit there.

Not everybody NEEDS to have their own specific issue that specifically effects them for it to be a valid or real problem. I just think this issue is far broader than most people expect it to be, ironically, i could argue you're literally behaving the exact same way you claim i am. Because you are, and that's exactly what's happening.

Do i care? No, i don't it's the internet do whatever you want.

-9
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Nah but have you ever considered that the reason that you think that there is a male loneliness epidemic is because nobody wants to hang out with insufferable misogynists?

13

no, i don't think that's a reasonable answer, because you're doing the fascist thing of "these people are wrong they need to change, and if they don't we can justify whatever shitty behavior we want, because we're morally superior"

It's not dissimilar to a lot of nazi rhetoric.

I think the problem ultimately stems from a disconnect in social development through out society. Feminism has pushed women forward, successfully in a lot of ways, but it has also pulled men back, in a lot of ways, that's not necessarily bad, but there is now a void there, and there is nothing filling it in, that's why the manosphere got so big so fast. It's literally capitalizing on an empty market.

If you want to solve the manosphere, the solution is simple, we need to fill in the void, and fix this disconnect that's been happening for probably 75 years now. How we go about that is complicated, and not particularly simple, but i think it's pretty clearly evident that the problem is aimless/directionless guidance for men especially in the last 20 years. Paired with historically contradictory ideas of manhood. Men are supposed to be strong and protect the weak, but it's hard to do that when they don't want it, or need it.

Once this void is filled in, this shit stops happening, simple as.

-10
sh.itjust.works

This seems like a very good niche for someone willing to do it. Problematic accounts could get a site-wide ban instead of each woman having to ban someone herself.

66
slrpnk.net

Unfortunately it is niche right now in the fediverse based on the stats. That could change but probably requires a different approach to achieve.

64
mercreply
sh.itjust.works

I would guess that most women wouldn't feel the need to be on a woman-focused Lemmy instance for their main / only account. But, some might want an alt account to discuss certain things there.

39
Otterreply
lemmy.ca

While this won't be the case with everyone, it was mentioned a few times in a post I made here a long while back

https://lemmy.ca/post/9443464

I’m a woman, and make no attempt to hide that fact in my posts. That said, I also don’t personally have much interest in talking about being a woman, so don’t sub to any of those places you linked.

Over on Reddit I just sort of let people assume I was male a lot of the time, since it wasn’t really relevant to what we were talking about. But from the start on Lemmy I’ve made sure to call out incorrect assumptions, downvote and give a talking to people stereotyping or being misogynistic, etc etc. And the more of us (of all genders) that make that same decision, the better things get

34

That's pretty brave of you. It's a lot of work to fight people's assumptions, and I'm sure it results in harassment.

But, you're right that things will never change if women don't do that. It's a chicken and egg thing. Nobody wants to be the first to do it, because whoever's first gets harassed the most. But, if enough people do it, it won't be abnormal anymore.

Good luck, and thanks for trying to make women on the internet more normal.

10

There WAS 1 chick in the fediverse.

The situation took a dark turn recently.

8
FaceDeerreply
fedia.io

I don't know of any "men only" instances, the fact that it's gender-specific is niche rather than the specific gender.

20

Same reason womens magazines are more popular than mens magazines and womens subreddits and websites are more popular than mens.

Maybe one day we'll have full equality and it'll be weird to think of "women's spaces" as something that's necessary. But it's very much so today.

20

I don't believe they actively intended to exclude anyone, but there is/was Dull Men's Club, and I believe they've recently rebranded to "Dullsters".

10
sh.itjust.works

Zero women have tried to make one so far regardless of how many would use a new instance. So it can't be all that in demand.

I think it naturally would occur if Lemmy grows in size. There's not many people here to begin with.

11

It's not niche being a woman obviously. What's niche is having a community exclude 50% of the population. Nothing wrong with it, but it is niche.

1

this is a bit of how Blahaj works as I understand it, so it's a good model - if anything I would think Blahaj might already be poised for this kind of instance-level protection of women

EDIT:

one of the Blahaj guidelines does include removing bigotry, including sexism, and would be a candidate for a safe space for women:

Inclusion and Acceptance

Embracing inclusion and acceptance means listening when people tell you who they are and what their needs are. It means not telling people that you know their experiences better than they do. It means not gatekeeping experiences of identities of others. It means no bigotry such as racism, sexism, anti LGBT commentary, ableism etc. It means doing your best to ensure that you don’t over-talk the voices of folk who don’t share your privileges.

That said, the women spaces on Blahaj are mostly for trans women, so a more general women's community would be nice.

22

Lemmy needs block lists users can subscribe to like they can on BlueSky, it would make a huge difference imo.

9
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Youre absolutely welcome to join Blahaj zone. Our wonderful administration team (both of whom are women) bans misogyny whenever it comes around to our communities. The mods for our main communities share a very aggressive moderation policy.

53
lemmy.world

They also ban real users instead of the people literally calling their gender "dragonfucker" and "attack helicopter"

There were a bunch of users who got angry about these users mocking gender expression and then when they told the trolls to fucking stop Ada banned them

The blahaj admins are trolls

24
Cryophiliareply
lemmy.world

I give Ada a lot of credit. In the early days, I had the following interaction:

TOPIC: Something about sexual/gender preferences, I don't remember, asking people their preferences

Me: responds with my preferences (I'm straight cis male, I like women so I'm down with post-transition trans women but pre-transition don't turn me on)

Some random user: respectfully asks if I would be willing to date a pre-transition trans man

Me: I guess, but it probably wouldn't work due to the fact that what I like about their body, they hate

Some of those professionally offended people took a misleading screenshot of my response and started screaming about "chasers".

Ada did an admin post to the community backing me up and calling those idiots out.

So unless she's changed a lot, I don't think she's a troll. It would have been easy to go with the mob but she stuck up for me.

32
vxxreply
lemmy.world

Still could be TERFS.

I don't have any deeper knowledge of that instance, just what I saw in all, so I don't want to put anything on them. That thought just came across reading your comment.

I have made a mental remark in the past that the posts and users on this instance are better treated from afar, though.

-3

It's pretty harsh to just casually suggest that a person be a TERF without any specific evidence.

4
pawb.social

i dont understand, please explain further. if blahaj mods have ignored misandry, that would be a bad thing. hate is generally regarded as bad, and misandry is hatred of men. therefore, misandry should be generally regarded as bad.

12

That's true on face value. The issue is that accusations of misandry are almost always unfounded, and only made as a way to deflect and to attack women. So when people start talking about misandry, that's generally a red flag.

It's similar to how "all lives matter" is definitely a true and good value - but yet it is almost always said as a way to divert support away from vulnerable groups. So although the literal meaning is good, it is fair to assume that people saying it do not have good intentions.

8
lemm.ee

You are right, but what he is calling misandry is not misandry, and so many people like him think misandry is the bigger problem now.

2
lemmy.world

Misandry is a huge problem in the space.

It's why I couldn't stand r/TwoXChromosomes anymore.

The amount of people saying we should "kill all men" without being banned is insane, if someone typed the opposite they would instantly get dogpiled and removed.

The blahaj admins have a record of supporting trolls and hateful people, just as long as they use the "right" language.

1

I feel like the whole supporting trolls thing is overblown.
They said that you should still use someone's pronouns, even if they are trolling, because it sets the precedent that its okay to ignore someone's pronoun preference.

Unless there is more that I missed.

3
sudoreply
programming.dev

The pronoun was just "drag". PJ is the one who kept calling them "dragonfucker". You can go read dragonriders comments instead of just repeating gossip.

1
sudoreply
programming.dev

They were already banned for other trolling behavior, just not because they used neopronouns. Please get an actual bearing on reality.

3

Sorry I'm not allowed to use that space because I called a troll a troll before the Admins felt like doing their fucking jobs.

I'm not going back now, blahaj is a cess pool controlled by trolls.

-2
lemmy.dbzer0.com

“dragonfucker” and “attack helicopter”

i mean, if they're doing it as a haha funny, i see no harm, but if they're also being assholes, i think that takes precedent. You aren't legally required to fill in your gender tagging appropriately so.

-1

They are an asshole though, a serial pot stirring drama seeking troll that gets people banned for reacting to their ragebait. Yeah I identify as a refurbished ebike and you must relearn English to refer to me, and you only rather not because you agree with literal genocide. Funny!

11
boonhetreply
lemm.ee

I haven't seen the attack helicopter and the joke is pretty damn old tbh, but drag at least is/was kinda funny. Drag's profile specified that drag's pronoun is "drag" in not just third, but also first and second person, which is an interesting concept. Drag also stayed in character in drag's posts. Drag didn't ever really bother people with the whole thing IMO.

5

yeah, it's a dead beat joke, it's come around to the point now where you can do it ironically and nobody cares. Though i guess you could still just be an asshole at that point lmao.

1
katy ✨reply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

also our wonderful admin kaity did what the lemmy devs couldn't and nuked the dm spam :)

9
lemmy.blahaj.zone

It really seems like instance admins tend to do a much better job with a lot of stuff on here than the core devs. Its a shame that forking would take as much work as it would.

5

well some of the devs are too busy arguing over which authoritarian boot tastes the best, all under the guide of leftism, so yeah I imagine the bar isn't exactly high

3
Konkyerreply
lemmy.world

As much as I appreciate the community and users, there are (or at least were) serious moderation problems on Blahaj, I did not feel safe there when I tried it a year or two ago.

1

I definitely cannot agree. I encourage anyone who has any issues with moderation to make a post in the Blahaj meta community. Ada and Kaity have been spectacular and have responded to every issue I have come across. There are limits, they can't preemptively prevent any kind of moderation issue but they respond quickly.

5

Pfft, I'd say overly aggressive to a fault. It's not a good thing when they're banning people for a passing comment where the worst offence is "gatekeeping" rather than something that matters.

1
lemmy.world

Most of the fediverse is male, and there's a significant trans woman space, but there's no spaces that really cater to cis women or to trans men specifically that I've seen.

And yes, I think it's reasonable to look for a space that is strongly (though not exclusively) cis-woman, in the same way that a Protestant would feel out of place in a Catholic community, even though they're all Christian. I imagine most cis women feel the same way as I (a cis man) feel when going to blahaj - like a friendly, allied visitor in a foreign land.

50

I can’t think of a single online space ever that has catered to trans men. It’s always infinitely easier to just act like a cis dude 99% of the time.

I guess there is Hudson’s Guide lol.

18
gwenreply
lemmy.dbzer0.com

every femcel community gets invaded by guys at some point. see: r/letgirlshavefun and r/femcelgrippysockjail. theres one that went private and thats keeping out the men really well (and is the only community im still on reddit for)

19

Well maybe if girls weren't weird and trying to make shaving fun they wou

I don't know how to finish this joke I'm tired. Finish it for me i give quest xp

0

Idk the majority of posters there are transfems afaik, with a smattering of femboys posting as well.

7
pixeltreereply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

Are you talking about browsers/commentors? Cause almost all the prolific posters are women, unless you're being transphobic

4
jlai.lu

I don't know any of them and would not even recognize their usernames. Just be real, there can't be that many women, it's just not consistent with Lemmy's userbase. To me that sub draws more attention from men who view it as a fantasy. Read the comments and the posts, many of them don't seem legitimate

1

Erotador, totallynotjessica, kewwwi, and squirrel are by far the people who post most there and they're all women.

My yin, I'm the one with the blahaj zone account here

3

i can assure you that the majority of regular posters on femcelmemes are in fact women, and many of the regular commenters as well. this is in part because of the wonderful dedicated group of posters who keep the vibe immaculate, and if it werent for femcelmemes, myself, and many other women would be much less active on lemmy.

2

Hahaha the name doesn't do it justice tbh, *cel has connotations that femcelmemes really just doesn't have

3
lemmy.ca

But like what even is a social media for women? I wasn't aware the ones we currently have were for men

37
Tonukareply
feddit.org

reddit has /r/TwoXChromosomes which is one of my favorite subs. It's a general womens subreddit, and though it obviously leans feminist it's not its main purpose. It welcomes all genders, but remains a womens space.

The fediverse could really use that energy.

51
lunarulreply
lemmy.world

There's also /r/WitchesVsPatriarchy which is also very strictly woman-centered.

26
Geniusreply
lemmy.zip

Damn women appropriating witchdom. Excluding boywitches just reaffirms the patriarchy's gendering of magic. It's re-inventing the same gender roles.

1
Ashtearreply
lemm.ee

Neither the WvP subreddit nor the Discord excludes men from identifying as witches or from participating in discussions.

15
Geniusreply
lemmy.zip

Then what does women-centered mean in practice? Is it just a nothing label?

1

Woman-centered is not an absolute. One does not have to be part of a single characteristic of a group to have a stake in it, to be an ally, an advocate, a partner, a family member, among countless other scenarios.

I would suggest reading up on intersectionality.

By the way, all of this is covered in the subreddit sidebar, including in an FAQ in the wiki.

11
Nuxleioreply
lemmy.ml

I'm sorry, what?

It's women-centered because it's "against patriarchy"... not because it's witchy. And they are trans & queer inclusive as well.

9
Geniusreply
lemmy.zip

I think it would be even more against patriarchy if it was enby centered. They should change that.

-12
Nuxleioreply
lemmy.ml

You need to stay away from feminism and enby activism entirely until you've humbled yourself and seriously sat with how problematic this take is.

You're not helping anybody with that. Least of all enbies/trans people. And not just because it makes us look bad either, though that's certainly part of it.

6

I don't know how problematic this take is, and since you can't explain how it is, I'm convinced you don't either. You're just having an emotional reaction to deviation from the gender binary's norms, which construct womanhood as the opposite of manhood.

-3
Hanrahanreply
slrpnk.net

Yeah but thats a subreddit not REDDIT itself, you can similarly start a /c/TwoX on just about any Lemmy instance.

17

While I do agree with what you're saying, I actually think a "by women for women" instance has a slightly different impact than a "by women for women" community. There are definitely pros and cons for both, though

7
poVoqreply
slrpnk.net

We used to have an equivalent on our instance, but it was constantly flooded with reply-bros and trans people complaining about the name, so we archived it as no women was willing to moderate it (for understandable reasons).

15
Die4Everreply
retrolemmy.com

Lemmy supports local-only private communities now, might be a good use case for that

3

As a trans person please stop. You're not helping & are being underhandedly misogynistic.

5

I wondered if they made the jump over here. Guess not, sadly. Reading that sub has made me a better man, because it offers some pretty harsh critiques of male behavior.

7
r.EndTimesreply
lemm.ee

Its all technically ran by trans women which is mildly interesting, like the mods of 2x and the others on reddit and here I think

4
palaver.p3x.de

beehaw.org aspire to be nice, friendly diverse and safe. But they're more towards nice, not women. And we have lemmy.blahaj.zone for queer folks. To my knowledge, there isn't a place aimed towards women. Maybe heehaw is the closest... Still not really a fit.

You could go ahead and also ask in some of the women communities, see how they get along here on the Fediverse.

31
midwest.social

The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.

27
lemmy.blahaj.zone

I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much "but what about men?" when talking about women's issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.

I haven't been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn't see that as often.

31
pixeltreereply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

I've said it many times before and I'll say it again, gender relations here are worse than they were on reddit when I stopped using it.

5

i wonder if it's not just worse on lemmy, but gotten worse over time, with the manosphere shit and all it's relevant problems, neither feminism nor the manosphere, or traditional male gender role has really addressed this issue comprehensively, and we're starting to see pushback from this issue in real life now, men are enrolling into college less than women, they do worse in most environments, and also are generally worse when it comes to mental health.

I wonder if we just need like a dedicated "social issues space" where people can talk about this stuff.

6
Cryophiliareply
lemmy.world

I mean there's like 3 women on lemmy, and 2 of em are trans. I don't think there really ARE any gender relations here.

-12
Leonreply
pawb.social

I think you're underestimating how many women use the internet. They just don't go swing that around much because of the harassment it tends to attract.

20
r.EndTimesreply
lemm.ee

womans only spaces (popping up because of male dominated spaces) do lead to male only spaces but who cares, ppl that want to be in those spaces can stay there idrc, they dont want my input I dont want theirs

5

Yeah, it's natural to have spaces that aren't for me. It's fine. I really just have an issue with spaces where I am supposedly welcome to be hostile towards me.

11
aussie.zone

Depends. You looking for a woman's space...or a terf space?

25
tfmreply
europe.pub

I definitely think it should be an inclusive, not exclusive space

27
Taleyareply
aussie.zone

blahaj.zone is a great one I've found. Extremely inclusive, brooks absolutely no bullshit from bad faith actors.

Is also very very queer tho JSYK

17
Cryophiliareply
lemmy.world

I don't think we can equate "queer space" with "women's space".

5
Cryophiliareply
lemmy.world

Well I would definitely put blahaj down as a queer-focused space rather than a women-focused space. It's inclusive, women are welcome, but the community there is very much about queer issues.

9
Yeatherreply
lemmy.ca

Except the Drag person, obvious troll they keep around.

3
Taleyareply
aussie.zone

People are fucking weird about drag.

Honestly there are far more worthy things to get pissed about this day and age, open a window

5

I just blocked them and moved on. It’s just insane it took so long for the admins to finally ban them.

2
lemmy.world

Dragonfucker isn't a gender, you enabling trolls makes LGBTQ spaces worse for people with real gender identities that experience real discrimination in the real world.

I bet you feel good when the people you hate get silenced though, like a drug addict chasing dopamine.

-1

You don't get to decide what is and what isn't a real identity :) if that makes you mad, the ban was justified just for that,

1
barsoapreply
lemm.ee

Either can describe a bar that throws out Nazis or a Nazi bar, depending on perspective.

-15
barsoapreply
lemm.ee

Nah I'm demanding clarity. A clear question "Do you mean excluding TERFs or excluding women" and the answer is "I want to be inclusive". It may not be meant as such, and I'm definitely not implying that it was, but that's exactly how a TERF would evade questioning.

A clear "Fuck TERFs" would have provided plenty of clarity, and been much shorter. Also, it would have said "Fuck TERFs".

-16
LwLreply
lemmy.world

Idk man "exclusionary" is literally part of terf I don't think there's much ambiguity there. Fuck terfs though.

11

This is transmisogynistic and misogynoir as well as plain old misogyny. Don't ask me to explain. Just don't do it.

-1

They're also complaining about "women being excluded from women's spaces by agents of the patriarchy posing as women". They're also not necessarily using "TERF" as a label. They're using typical fascist-style "words mean whatever we want them to mean in the moment" type of stuff, hiding clear-cut positions behind pretend nuance, hence why I favour clarity.

-6

I regret my part in this recto-cranial inversion of a conversation

8
lemmy.world

I want there to be a witchesvspatreiarchy here, but I'm a dude and it'd be messed up if I started it.

22

Thanks! I was looking for witchesvsTHEpatriarchy for some reason.

Subbed.

4
REDACTEDreply
infosec.pub

Honestly chuckled a bit after checking out the front page and pretty much all posts were about.. men

But that (making fun of men) might just be the idea behind that subreddit and I'm looking at it wrong

EDIT: I dun goofed

3

Mod of that community here! Please come join the coven, we're always welcoming like-minded people!

2

This idea is pretty cool, i hope they will succeed to achieve that. Imo, we lack diversity on the forumverse except maybe mastodon.

It would provide an additional security layer, another governance. They could also benefit a lot from local community and can check vote, email, ip...Other have already mentionned good example with blahaj, beehaw...

On the other hand, it will render the instance more visible.

On my main instance, jlai.lu, i think we don't manage well sexist speech. They are moderated, we do our best to explain to our users what's wrong and slowly change them but we don't have the same sensibility as women.

Men explaining women...So we probably missed lot things.

21

I wish I could recommend blahaj, there are a lot of trolls in the space that the admins have successfully been guilted into supporting.

16
ZeroOnereply
lemmy.world

I rememebered Blahaj people accusing Lemmy instances of being misogynists left & right without any evidence

& were censoring anyone, just because they asked for evidence.

-3

And what's the insinuation here, given that being told the instance admin is a woman your response was "That explains a lot"

5

The insinuation here is the instance behaves like a raging misandrist, nuff said.

-3
feddit.org

Pardon my ignorance but what would be the point of that? You can sign up on any instance and participate in any women's communities. It's not like there's any way to verify the user's gender anyway.

21
Geniusreply
lemmy.zip

A community like that would hopefully ban misogynists who go unbanned on other communities.

31
Ulrichreply
feddit.org

"Community" is the operative word there. OP is asking about an instance.

3
Ulrichreply
feddit.org

Right but it has a very specific meaning here.

2

I know what they meant but it's an important distinction here.

1
pseudoreply
jlai.lu

Local feed I guess. I wouldn't trade my french local feed to another despite the abillity to subscribe to the community that made it.

29

D'autant plus que je ne poste pas souvent dessus !

2

Local feed is one of the best parts of Lemmy conceptually and a very clear indicator that the intended behaviour for users is to sign up to smaller insurances related to their location or otherwise significant individual interests.

7
Ulrichreply
feddit.org

Couldn't you sign up on another instance and still subscribe to all the same communities?

1

It would only work if I don't subscribe to any other instances. That's a bad tradeoff.

The fediverse needs a tool to surf other instances local feed cause that's a common issue for both the threadiverse and twittoverse. Soon, we may have enough theme-oriented PixelFed instances for them to have the same issue. I believe PieFed multicommunity feeds to be the best way to tackle it so far but that's not even a good solution.

1
Cryophiliareply
lemmy.world

You really don't see the benefit to a group of similar people to have a space focused on them, their wants and needs and daily lives? A community of people like them? It's one of the most fundamental human desires.

7

with enough admin and moderation you could circle jerk your way into a "woman positive" or "woman friendly space" which would be the idea.

-1

I was thinking of making one, but I'm not a woman, so I'll think of something else

15
lemmy.selfhostcat.com

Like women only or hosted by women? Based on the selfhosted poll I’m guessing there is a 5% there is.

14

Not women only but women centric and with additional moderation protection. And yeah, I'd also say that women should administer and moderate such an instance.

33

It’s called “being an ally,” and it’s far more productive than faking outrage and borderline-doxxing people we disagree with.

4

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

It really comes down to this: if you want your own space for particular interests, you should create one and find likeminded people to populate it. Just waiting for it to magically appear isn’t going to work. Be assertive.

7
Owl
lemm.ee

how would they stop men from participating?

6

Why should they want to do that? That's not how most sites for women work!

19

I don't see a reason to deny men from participating.

18

Blahaj.zone is an instance aimed at queer people, but it doesn't have to prevent non-queer people from participating. I would imagine an instance aimed at women to be similar.

12
stoyreply
lemmy.zip

There is no resonable way to do that.

The only way I could see it being done while perserving some kind of anonymity would be to have a defederated instance, where members are invite-only, where members can invite their friends to join, there by verifying that there are no men joining.

Unfortunately, there is no good way of verifying the gender of a person that you don't meet outside of a forum.

5
lemmy.world

I’ve mentioned this before in other threads that seek a women-centric Lemmy option, but there was at least one secret community on Reddit like that. Invitees’ post histories were vetted before an invite was sent, both to find women specifically, but also to prevent trolls.

I don’t know exactly how they did it, all I know is that I got an invite one day and found the most open, comforting community I’d ever seen online. It was a place where we could talk about anything from silly stories that made us smile, to complaining about specific issues with bras, all without fear of trolls hijacking the thread, or turning an ordinary thing for us into something sexual.

I miss it.

2

Sounds fantastic, I hope that you can find a community like that again.

Vetting the post history is probably the only realistic way of doing it, it is time consuming, I am sad that it is needed, but if that is what it it takes it is at least doable.

I wish you and all women online good luck in finding a community like that, everyone needs a good community to enjoy!

1

It works at bars, play music made by women and the Nazis will find another place to sieg heil each other without even being to be told

1
lemmy.ml

I'm on .ml, but I don't engage in any Marxist-Leninist communities. So it doesn't really matter on what instance you're on.

2
lemmy.world

TW: crude and insensitive joke (hopefully the spoiler tag works lol)

ETA: lemme know if you need this taken down. Sometimes the intrusive thoughts win

!It's funny, blahaj.zone is full of pussies, and .ml is full of cunts, and yet there's no dedicated space for women!<

0
SirSamuelreply
lemmy.world

NGL I almost deleted it this morning, glad it made you giggle

1

i almost never delete things i post on the internet, i'm a firm believer in sillyposting because the nothing is sacred.

IDK, call it a character badge or whatever you want. It's just how i am.

1

almost all the subs that "are women" are basically astroturfed by men, or some of them are male users posting as a "woman"

-1

Can somebody explain to me a thing about anti-feminism: as a 99.5% cishet standard regular manly man man, even from an extremely cold, selfish, objective, all-for-me approach I cannot understand what I stand to gain by this. What's the point?

-1
lemmy.ml

hexbear is heavily transfem and bans aggressively for misogyny/transphobia. Spending some time there when their recent domain crisis defederated from the rest of Lemmy was actually quite relaxing

-2
lemmy.ml

that external opinion is usually either bigotry or supporting US empire from my experience. Other Lemmy spaces are just as likely to ban for wrongthink ie: not being pro genocide or whatever war libs are supporting this time.

7

i've never seen a pro genocide lemmy instance, everytime i've argued against it i've been banned or moderated on, granted my instance isn't pro genocide, so there's that. But that seems to be a regular occurrence on lemmy in my experience.

I posted one thing on the one hexbear thread people used and immediately got banned lmao, what a terrible instance. I just ended up blocking the whole thing because why even bother at that point.

-3

If they're tired of getting hit on or oppressed all the time then the communities for women on Lemmy might not be an upgrade. /joke

-11
lemmy.world

Reddit is pretty pro-female, what is this riddiculous gaslighting ?

BTW, ALL of Lemmy+Mbin are pro-female as well.

-17
bishboshreply
lemm.ee

pretty pro-female

opinion discarded

9
ZeroOnereply
lemmy.world

You are functioning well within your parameters, eventhough your software version is a bit outdated

-9

Sorry I am not hip to the most recent lingo of the circles that call women females.

3
lmmarsanoreply
lemmynsfw.com

don’t call women “females”

It's fine. Call men "males", too.

-1
lemm.ee

Look man, from a technical language point of view there is nothing whatsoever wrong with calling people 'females'. However, by speaking to such people face-to-face you quickly learn that basically not one likes to be called that. The reasons are subtle, and frankly not very important. But the fact remains that calling people 'females' is now seen as a sign that you don't understand or respect them - on the grounds that you are using a phrase that you've been asked not to use. Just say 'women' instead.

1
ZeroOnereply
lemmy.world

As if I didn't know that right, but it didn't stop you (not you in particular) "People" from assuming & attacking

0
lemm.ee

I didn't get technical on you - that's kind of the point. But whatever; I was just trying to help with some context. Ignore if you like.

1

Why did I get banned I wonder ? yes because I questioned them asked for evidence & they provided none

I linked my evidences & they were evading questions.

BTW, I blocked those instances as well. The real question you should ask is how long until your echo-chamber fades into obscurity.

Didn't you mock ModLogs ?😂

-1

Lemmy is aimed at pleasing all of humanity.

Asking for a women-centric flavor of any site is parallel to asking for a version with less men. If you're implying there is a difference to the interests of both, I'd love to show you the Grey's Anatomy sub.

-19

i mean, i don't see anything necessarily wrong with it though.

It's like making a linux specific lemmy instance, or an anarchist focused lemmy instance (the one im on)

it might go against the principles of lemmy, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

6
explodiclereply
sh.itjust.works

I think there are differences in the interests of both. Can you explain your argument here, without super obscure references?

3
infosec.pub

We just shouldn't consider either gender's interests as stereotypes. Also, if a community becomes one or the other "centric", then on some level, it's exclusionary.

-4

You know that just because gender is a social construct, it doesn't mean we should or even can just ignore it? You took step one on the awareness ladder but stopped before step two

7
lemm.ee

Onlyfans

Edit: forgot the /s

-27
lemmy.world

it's called pinterest

Edit:

PS: Ok so it looks like people here are just as bad as redditors. I was answering the question in the Reddit caption of this post. Pinterest has been known to be an alternative to Reddit (as a link aggregator) which attracts women a lot more than men.

This is a KNOWN thing, check this 10 year old article from the people managing Pinterest stating as much

https://www.thestreet.com/technology/why-pinterest-wants-more-men-and-how-it-plans-to-get-them-13101082

Of course women are welcome here, there is no question about it. Does it matter if there is an instance for women? I don't even know, I know women who love stereotypical male stuff and vice versa. I assume anyone, male, female or anything in the spectrum, can browse around and collate their favorite subs

-27
midwest.social

Not funny, not ok. Women are just as welcome here as anyone else and your comment is exactly why they are asking. “It’s a joke” - nope don’t even. Be better than this.

20
Bouzoureply
lemmy.world

Well..yes, it is a link aggregator, but have you ever used Pinterest? The uses for it vs reddit are wildly different...

18
Jhexreply
lemmy.world

Yes, I have. And the differences that you allude to are a huge part why women find it attractive, more so than men.

Pinterest itself have publicly stated this was not necessarily intentional and they wanted to bring more men to the platform.

-4
Bouzoureply
lemmy.world

I am more trying to argue that Pinterest and Reddit/lemmy are fundamentally different enough that they aren't really interchangeable.

I personally use both, but, again, for wildly different purposes.

9
Jhexreply
lemmy.world

I agree, but at a higher level the analogy works... like a sports car vs a pickup truck vs a minivan. Very different but at the end of the day they are all vehicles and men tend to like one of those more than others, same as women (and no, I am not implying women like minivans... my wife forbade me from getting one when our kids were little and I had given up on a cool car for the convenience of one)

-1

Well my argument is that they fall under a different analogy. Something like a car and wheelbarrow? They're both used for transportation, sure, but they also have two distinct functions that don't cancel each other out.

0
qnvxreply
lemmy.world

Your comment can be read in multiple ways

"It's called pinterest. Go there instead. This site is not for you."

or

"It's called pinterest. This thing you are interested in already kind of exists. Just thought I would let you know."

The people downvoting had the first interpretation, I assume.

2

Honestly, I really cannot stop people from making up things I did not write and tagging them along in their heads.

I was answering the question in the picture of this post:

Do you know any Reddit alternatives aimed towards Women?

The way I worded it "it's called Pinterest" came from me thinking this was a well known thing which apparently is not for many lemmy users.

Check this article which is 10 years old, where Pinterest representatives acknowledge this demographic divide and want to correct it

https://www.thestreet.com/technology/why-pinterest-wants-more-men-and-how-it-plans-to-get-them-13101082

1

Oh I see, you are just an idiot... go back to reddit please

1

I don’t agree in this particular instance, but in general I think you’re right - all this shit is really getting to me. And I always appreciate a good call out. Going to touch some grass, hope everyone has a great day ✌️

2
Azzureply
lemm.ee

Everyone is a woman on this blessed day!

32

I am one with everything, so by speaking about myself, I speak about the whole of reality. Checkmate!

0
slrpnk.net

You don’t know what a woman is? Or is this some kind of attempt at trolling?

27

I think maybe it would have been clearer to just ask this question directly and openly. The way you phrased it is the way a lot of bigots do to try to start trouble.

33