It's such a dichotomy. Women get catcalled every day and feel uncomfortable and harassed. Understandable. The average man gets catcalled a handful of times in his life and cherishes those moments almost as much as their children's births.
I was a sophomore in high school. A senior girl I vaguely knew but wasn't friends with, apropos of nothing, leans over to me and goes, "You're nice. I like nervous, twitchy virgins."
I don't know if I've ever been more baffled in my life. I don't even remember if I responded or what I did after that. I just remember thinking, "what the heck just happened?"
I might have been catcalled once. I was riding my bike on the road when I was in college; at the time I had super long messy hair that went down past my shoulders (I'm a guy). A car drove past and this girl put her head out the passenger window and shouted something at me. She might have said "looking good, hippie!" She might have also said, "fuck you, hippie!" I'll never know haha.
I think the difference is that this isn't catcalling. If women's compliments towards men were the same as men's compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it. Don't get me wrong, I recognize that men don't get compliments often, and often they stick with them, but generally those are complements and not catcalls.
If women’s compliments towards men were the same as men’s compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it.
Nah.
Every time I've ever heard of an experiment where indignant women do/say to men the exact same things that they hate getting from men, they're always astonished to see the men's reactions as practically universally positive:
If the goal of the experiment was to make men feel the weird combination of creeped-out and ashamed that comes with everyday objectification, then the experiment failed. Instead, these fellas look flattered and expectant. You can practically see them plotting the nearest route to the cheapest hotel.
Forgive me if I don't think two comedians making a skit counts as a study. The camera is clearly visible and the women don't seem to be credible at all and are clearly playing it for laughs. Often, catcalling happens to women who are alone and by men who could physically overpower them with no sense of it being funny or a joke. I mean, it's kinda gross that they did this regardless, but I don't really see it as a one to one. It's hard to explain the feeling of concern that women are raised to have when it comes to being targeted by men, and it would be hard to put a man in a situation that mimicked that considering they have not been bombarded by stories of women stalking/raping/murdering men who they only saw in passing. Here's women being "politely catcalled":
https://youtube.com/shorts/LNxf74FXyAs
Again, played for laughs with a visible camera and similar reactions from women as the men in your video.
The guys doing catcalling get upset when called out and admit they wouldn't want it to happen to their family:
https://youtu.be/jDoVckC6NhA
Do I think men don't get as many compliments? Yes. But men can solve that themselves. Give each other compliments.
https://youtube.com/shorts/aWLr03PJiuA
If these guys were catcalled by each other I have a feeling they wouldn't like it.
I hate to say it, but I think that might be one of those differences that actually is inherent due to biology. Ultimately, women can only benefit reproductively from one partner at a time, whereas men can benefit reproductively from as many as will have them. Therefore, women are only interested in compliments from a prospective partner they might actually choose, while men are happy to receive any expression of interest.
I appreciate your take, but that's not really the case. Women are open and receptive to compliments. Even from strangers, but the tone and context matter more since women have been socialized to fear unknown, especially aggressive men. Someone yelling their feelings about your body at you does not generally signal someone is a safe person. Here's my response to the above comment:
https://reddthat.com/comment/17768408
It has a link to women being politely catcalled and they seem ok with that. I know that I have personally received compliments from men that I was not interested in or with whom there was no real possibility of connection, and that's been fine. Generally the problem is tone and context.
There is an old idiom that goes "everything is about sex except sex. That's about power."
Catcalling is about expressing power over someone else body and life. It's a veiled threat, coached in sexual terms. No one doing it actually expects to have sex afterwards. Its about saying "i can force sex on you. I can take control of you. Your life belongs to me."
A lot of the men engaging in it above are doing it because of peer pressure, normalized misogyny and the "thrill" of getting an acknowledgement of that power by scaring women. I dont think most of them want to attack women outright to begin with, but it normalizes mixing sex with violence and dehumanizing woman.
Eh being 14 and having an adult woman shouting out of a car at me to get my cock out I feel is about as gross and threatening as it would be if the genders were reversed.
As someone who's been catcalled many many times while presenting female and once while presenting male (by women). Yeah tbh it felt similarly threatening. When you're walking alone in the dark all big burly and bearded and just hear a voice calling out sexualizing you it's scary. Like in retrospect now I can recognize that it was probably a drunk/high/low inhibitioned young woman displaying the confidence of youth when surrounded by friends. But I was scared because if she's comfortable doing this she probably knows something I don't if she chooses to escalate.
When you’re walking alone in the dark all big burly and bearded and just hear a voice calling out sexualizing you it’s scary
The fear is from the group dynamics more than anything else. Gender almost plays no part in it. Age plays almost no part in it. There are several stories about a group of teens attacking a lone adult, and it goes just about as you'd expect. Anyone who is alone and suddenly becomes the focus of attention by a group will (and probably should) become worried, whereas if you're in a group the (that is, your) reaction can be anything from ignoring to playing along because you have less to fear. All of us can imagine the difference between walking in a group or by yourself when getting catcalled. Most of us have probably seen the difference.
Girls have a super power they can use to live rent free in any guy's head pretty much eternally. All they need to do is catch them off guard with a compliment.
A guy will keep a shirt until it literally disintegrates if one time a girl said "that color looks good on you." Pretty much every guy that wears a particular cologne, wears that cologne because at some point a girl said he smelled nice. It's not even a horny brain thing I don't think. It's just that guys get so few compliments on their appearance that every single one is massively precious to them.
It goes both ways I think too. Guys wouldn’t obsess over the idea that a single compliment might be flirting if they were more used to compliments in general from both sexes. On the other hand some guys are so afraid of misreading a compliment or normal friendliness that they can’t tell when someone actually is flirting. I sort of think there need to be more voices out there meant to speak directly to men and masc people about social literacy that aren’t trying to turn them into hateful, violent, incel republicans.
hard agree, it's a tragedy that toxic masculinity has taken over that space. I'm not the target audience being nb but I have a lot of respect for the Speeed yt channel for doing exactly that.
I've always bought my husband red shirts because I think he looks good in a bold red color. About 17 years of marriage before he finally told me he doesn't really care for the color, that he just wants to look good for me.
I (afab) intentionally give my male friends and coworkers lots of non sexual compliments, and it’s been a mixed bag for people I don’t know well. I genuinely love men’s business wear, so I frequently go for a comment about what they’re wearing (think “I like your shirt” or “that’s a cool pattern,” not “that shirt makes your eyes pop” or “you look sexy in that shirt”), and about a third of the time, they still seem to think I’m coming on to them. Since I got married and wear my wedding ring, that’s down to about a quarter.
I try not to compliment men’s physical attributes. Given that around a quarter of them still react like I’m flirting when I compliment the pattern they have on while I’m wearing a wedding ring, I don’t want to go any further, lol. Maybe I should have said non-flirty instead of nonsexual though, because I agree, that’s not a sexual comment.
In 1998, the young lady working the cash register at the taco bell near where I worked told me I have really pretty eyes. So I have that going for me, which is nice.
It's crazy how few times in an average man's life he gets real compliments on clothing or looks. It happens so rarely most of us can tell you about the times even when they're 20 years ago.
Speaking from first hand experience: try growing a handlebar mustache (if you can). If you groom it well you will get complimented all the time. I'm a fairly generic looking guy without the stache, and almost never got complimented on my looks before I grew it.
Similarly if you grow a John brown beard but condition it that worked for me as a 18 year old but that was 12 years ago so ymmv. Also admittedly I was apparently hot
I try to be mindful of this (I compliment people fairly frequently when I'm out of the house), and I still find that I don't really 'notice' men as much as women (I am asexual, so it is not an attraction thing either.) I think it's because a lot of women's clothing is varied, lots of different and interesting patterns and color combinations and cuts and styles. Men's fashion tends to be pretty... similar? The times I remember noticing and complimenting men has usually been when they've worn a t-shirt with an anime or something I like on it. One time I saw a guy with these really cool, vibrant sleeve tattoos too and I mentioned how much I like those.
Not that I'm saying it's men's faults--men's casual fashion seems to really stake itself on being 'plain' and 'simple'. All the t-shirts look the same, just in different solid colors. Plain jeans are plain jeans. Cargo shorts are cargo shorts. It's easy to let your eyes sort of slide past it without registering much. Almost like social camouflage!
My husband wears a lot of 90s nostalgia t-shirts and he gets compliments on them!
I'm pretty average looking but I have a cool looking cloak and I get a compliment literally every time I wear it because it pops. It's different.
And honestly, I'm happier that way. The less I'm noticed, the happier I am, generally speaking. I'm an introvert and feel obligated to spend some "social energy" whenever a random stranger says something to me. They might compliment my kid or ask about something I'm wearing or whatever, and I need to respond to that in some socially appropriate form.
I'm not socially anxious or awkward or anything, I just don't like putting in the effort. So I generally avoid the things that would lead to random social interaction.
I've received two compliments from women out of the blue in my life. The first time was when a coworker told me i had a nice voice and should do voice acting for anime. That was 2006.
The second was another coworker said "at least you're cute" to some offhand joke i made. That was 2018.
At that rate, I expect another nice comment around 2032 or so.
I had a girl compliment my voice too ! I was maybe 17, had her on the phone, she was a friend's friend. Then we met and she ostensibly lost all her excitement
Many years ago, my girlfriend's grandma said I had a good voice for radio. I misheard her, thought she said a good face for radio. I didn't react badly at the time, because being polite and all, but I didn't like her grandma for a while. Then it came out what she had really said, girlfriend had a big laugh. I don't remember what grandma thought of it, I was a little too embarrassed to have any attention to spare...
I don't remember basically anyone from my secondary schoold other than my 4 close freinds and this one girl that randomly asked me for a hug one day, said I give really good hugs, then basically never spoke to me again.
I get compliments on my hugs on the reg. Well, less regularly as I get older and meet new people less often, but still. Being a good hugger is somehow a weirdly rare skill?
I feel that pain. It's like that "worst she can do is say no" thing. When I was 12 my friends were joking about who another friend should "date" (ofc in the capacity that 12yos manage that) and someone JOKINGLY suggested me, I even laughed along for a second. Her answer, rather than laughing along or something, was a deadpan "eww". That fucked my confidence for years
Shit, I'm sorry. I have had a similar experience at around 7yo that imbalanced my relationships to others for the next 25 years. I'm pulling out of it now by sheer force of will and analysis. Wish you the best,
Once a group of us were playing spin the bottle and it landed on me and the girl said eww, he's like my brother or whatever and then spun again and the guy it landed on got a double bj from her and her friend. I felt sad at the time, especially since we were all camping so we could hear them in the tents. I'm still friends with those girls (now grown women.) Your story reminded me of that and I haven't thought of it in 20 years.
I've received a lot of compliments on my voice in life, Nicknames for it throughout school; i didn't have a period of voice cracking, literally woke up one day and my voice was different (scared the shit out of my parents that morning).
One time a buddy and I were out drinking and on our way out he ran into a childhood friend. So while they were catching up I was just leaning against a table and listening to their conversation and people watching.
A pretty attractive woman came up to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and said "you'd be more attractive if you had some self-confidence", and then walked out of the bar.
I think about that every day. Because I have never in my life been told I need "more confidence" (actually, it's usually the opposite haha).
Maybe she wanted you to approach her, you ignored her "signals" and the only reason that could be, at least from her point of view, was that you lacked confidence.
Yeah I assumed so. It was a few years ago so we probably talked for a bit at the bar (I am not allowed to go get drinks by myself cause I'll end up talking to strangers for 45 mins haha) but I don't remember her from any other point in the night.
Shit like that, I'd probably not read too much into it. Some girls just like to fuck with people (people have been trolling before trolling was an internet term). She probably left laughing how she fucked with your head (yeah, some beautiful girls are fucking deeply ugly on the inside, and vice versa)
I must be a heck of a lot more "attractive," than I think I am. I'm male, and 44 y/o. I get a random compliment from strangers about once every month or two.
I did a lot of clubbing in the '90s. Once, a beautiful girl came up to me and said: "You're gorgeous" and then ran off. Thing is, though, I was in my early 30s at the time and she looked about 16. So, obviously, I didn't pursue her. But that's stuck with me for over 20 years. I can still hear it in my head.
I give my man compliments all the time. He calls me silly and pretends he doesn't care, but I think it is working. Have been running a semi-non stop compliment campaign since Covid where I tell him how beautiful his hair is in the hopes he will cut it less. It's been a good while since he last came home looking like a sheep after shearing. Summer is approaching, though, so I'm bracing myself for him getting the idea to visit the barber and have him mutilate those beautiful locks of his. It should be crime, honestly.
It's such a cruel thing that compliments from partners don't feel the same as compliments from strangers. My wife has been telling me parts of my body are attractive for agres, but I didn't really internalize it until I heard it from others as well.
It's the same phenomena as when your parents try to give you good advice but you will only listen to it if it comes from the mouths of "outsiders".
Example: my boyfriend tried to get me into Tool for ages and I was very indifferent to it. Then my closest colleague starts playing Tool at work and I'm like "omg this music is awesome" and I go home and tell my bf about this amazing new band I have gotten into and he just gets so offended like "I literally tried to get you into it for years wtf". We laugh about it sometimes.
A woman at a house party saw my driver's license after she asked for proof that I have two middle names and two last names. She saw my photo and said: "your neck doesn't look anywhere near as long in real life" I knew it was a compliment, and I'll never forget it.
Normally, I'd write this off as someone "letting me down easy", but this was my best friend in High school that I knew for years, so I know the sentiment was genuine.
When I was in elementary school, a girl who was generally mean to me and everyone else told me I have nice teeth. That was over 10 years ago and I still vividly remember it.
Nothing makes me stfu faster than singing in my car while parked somewhere and having someone walk by, knock on the window and tell me they think I sound good.
Tangentially related, I was ordering food at a Wendy's and the cashier out of the blue asked if I had ever been in a long distance relationship. I said no, but I knew people that had and if the relationship was strong enough, it would work out in the end. Hope things worked out for her.
I'm an ugly woman and I remember getting a compliment from someone at dunkin. It was another woman, but she said I looked pretty. I think to this day she's the only person who has complimented me that wasn't a friend or something. 😅
I've had plenty of men yell out "huge bitch" and what have you though. 🤷🏿♀️
Only time I've ever been "hit on" was when a really old lady (over 65 at least) at a local Moose club called me a "cutie"... Back when I was maybe 14 or 15.
Even my past partners didn't give me compliments.
One time a girl in a bar just walked up to me and asked if I wanted to make out. Of course, it happened after I was well into a relationship with the person who is now my wife, so I had to turn her down, but it felt amazing.
It's such a dichotomy. Women get catcalled every day and feel uncomfortable and harassed. Understandable. The average man gets catcalled a handful of times in his life and cherishes those moments almost as much as their children's births.
One time, when I was in 6th grade, an 8th grade girl called me cute. I don't think I'll ever forget it
I was a sophomore in high school. A senior girl I vaguely knew but wasn't friends with, apropos of nothing, leans over to me and goes, "You're nice. I like nervous, twitchy virgins."
I don't know if I've ever been more baffled in my life. I don't even remember if I responded or what I did after that. I just remember thinking, "what the heck just happened?"
I might have been catcalled once. I was riding my bike on the road when I was in college; at the time I had super long messy hair that went down past my shoulders (I'm a guy). A car drove past and this girl put her head out the passenger window and shouted something at me. She might have said "looking good, hippie!" She might have also said, "fuck you, hippie!" I'll never know haha.
Hey there sugar dick.
Women drown in the ocean whereas men die of thirst in the desert.
This is obviously an overgeneralization, but it matches the experience of many.
I heard a similar analogy, men are in a desert, women in a swamp. In both cases they struggle to find drinkable water.
Oh that's good. It highlights the quality of available water.
I think the difference is that this isn't catcalling. If women's compliments towards men were the same as men's compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it. Don't get me wrong, I recognize that men don't get compliments often, and often they stick with them, but generally those are complements and not catcalls.
Nah.
Every time I've ever heard of an experiment where indignant women do/say to men the exact same things that they hate getting from men, they're always astonished to see the men's reactions as practically universally positive:
Lol
Yeah 99% of dudes I know would be ecstatic to hear a woman whisper that to them on the street.
I'd just be so fucking confused.
Forgive me if I don't think two comedians making a skit counts as a study. The camera is clearly visible and the women don't seem to be credible at all and are clearly playing it for laughs. Often, catcalling happens to women who are alone and by men who could physically overpower them with no sense of it being funny or a joke. I mean, it's kinda gross that they did this regardless, but I don't really see it as a one to one. It's hard to explain the feeling of concern that women are raised to have when it comes to being targeted by men, and it would be hard to put a man in a situation that mimicked that considering they have not been bombarded by stories of women stalking/raping/murdering men who they only saw in passing. Here's women being "politely catcalled": https://youtube.com/shorts/LNxf74FXyAs
Again, played for laughs with a visible camera and similar reactions from women as the men in your video.
The guys doing catcalling get upset when called out and admit they wouldn't want it to happen to their family: https://youtu.be/jDoVckC6NhA
Do I think men don't get as many compliments? Yes. But men can solve that themselves. Give each other compliments. https://youtube.com/shorts/aWLr03PJiuA
If these guys were catcalled by each other I have a feeling they wouldn't like it.
Man that article was insufferable to read lol
I hate to say it, but I think that might be one of those differences that actually is inherent due to biology. Ultimately, women can only benefit reproductively from one partner at a time, whereas men can benefit reproductively from as many as will have them. Therefore, women are only interested in compliments from a prospective partner they might actually choose, while men are happy to receive any expression of interest.
I appreciate your take, but that's not really the case. Women are open and receptive to compliments. Even from strangers, but the tone and context matter more since women have been socialized to fear unknown, especially aggressive men. Someone yelling their feelings about your body at you does not generally signal someone is a safe person. Here's my response to the above comment: https://reddthat.com/comment/17768408
It has a link to women being politely catcalled and they seem ok with that. I know that I have personally received compliments from men that I was not interested in or with whom there was no real possibility of connection, and that's been fine. Generally the problem is tone and context.
Catcalling ≠ Complimenting
Catcalling is about letting the other know, that you want to fuck or harass them.
Complimenting is about verbalising beauty without any other expectations towards the other person.
There is an old idiom that goes "everything is about sex except sex. That's about power."
Catcalling is about expressing power over someone else body and life. It's a veiled threat, coached in sexual terms. No one doing it actually expects to have sex afterwards. Its about saying "i can force sex on you. I can take control of you. Your life belongs to me."
A lot of the men engaging in it above are doing it because of peer pressure, normalized misogyny and the "thrill" of getting an acknowledgement of that power by scaring women. I dont think most of them want to attack women outright to begin with, but it normalizes mixing sex with violence and dehumanizing woman.
Eh being 14 and having an adult woman shouting out of a car at me to get my cock out I feel is about as gross and threatening as it would be if the genders were reversed.
Kind of gross and threatening even as an adult TBH. But yeah, definitely worse as a child.
As someone who's been catcalled many many times while presenting female and once while presenting male (by women). Yeah tbh it felt similarly threatening. When you're walking alone in the dark all big burly and bearded and just hear a voice calling out sexualizing you it's scary. Like in retrospect now I can recognize that it was probably a drunk/high/low inhibitioned young woman displaying the confidence of youth when surrounded by friends. But I was scared because if she's comfortable doing this she probably knows something I don't if she chooses to escalate.
The fear is from the group dynamics more than anything else. Gender almost plays no part in it. Age plays almost no part in it. There are several stories about a group of teens attacking a lone adult, and it goes just about as you'd expect. Anyone who is alone and suddenly becomes the focus of attention by a group will (and probably should) become worried, whereas if you're in a group the (that is, your) reaction can be anything from ignoring to playing along because you have less to fear. All of us can imagine the difference between walking in a group or by yourself when getting catcalled. Most of us have probably seen the difference.
My god if I could just get one compliment I could die happy.
I like your username, and you have great taste in Lemmy instances.
women get so much attention its like theyre drowning. men get so little its like theyre starving in the desert.
truly ironic
Girls have a super power they can use to live rent free in any guy's head pretty much eternally. All they need to do is catch them off guard with a compliment.
A guy will keep a shirt until it literally disintegrates if one time a girl said "that color looks good on you." Pretty much every guy that wears a particular cologne, wears that cologne because at some point a girl said he smelled nice. It's not even a horny brain thing I don't think. It's just that guys get so few compliments on their appearance that every single one is massively precious to them.
girls would do this more often but there's always the (justified tbh) fear that the guy will take it the wrong way and get weird about it :(
It's absolutely justified fear. For every one guy who will just take it as a sweet compliment, there are ten guys who will think "she wants the D!"
Honestly I don't think the ratio is that bad... But it doesn't have to be, when just one creep can ruin your life...
You fuck one goat...
Is that an order?
It wasn't a question
It goes both ways I think too. Guys wouldn’t obsess over the idea that a single compliment might be flirting if they were more used to compliments in general from both sexes. On the other hand some guys are so afraid of misreading a compliment or normal friendliness that they can’t tell when someone actually is flirting. I sort of think there need to be more voices out there meant to speak directly to men and masc people about social literacy that aren’t trying to turn them into hateful, violent, incel republicans.
hard agree, it's a tragedy that toxic masculinity has taken over that space. I'm not the target audience being nb but I have a lot of respect for the Speeed yt channel for doing exactly that.
I've always bought my husband red shirts because I think he looks good in a bold red color. About 17 years of marriage before he finally told me he doesn't really care for the color, that he just wants to look good for me.
awee 🙄 (I can't find the sweet teary eyed emoji, pretend this is that one)
Best comment xD
I (afab) intentionally give my male friends and coworkers lots of non sexual compliments, and it’s been a mixed bag for people I don’t know well. I genuinely love men’s business wear, so I frequently go for a comment about what they’re wearing (think “I like your shirt” or “that’s a cool pattern,” not “that shirt makes your eyes pop” or “you look sexy in that shirt”), and about a third of the time, they still seem to think I’m coming on to them. Since I got married and wear my wedding ring, that’s down to about a quarter.
I mean…
You missed the word "not" there I guess?
I’m not good at reading comprehension.
I agree. Tim Cruise is short.
I try not to compliment men’s physical attributes. Given that around a quarter of them still react like I’m flirting when I compliment the pattern they have on while I’m wearing a wedding ring, I don’t want to go any further, lol. Maybe I should have said non-flirty instead of nonsexual though, because I agree, that’s not a sexual comment.
That’s an example of a compliment I don’t give. I’m not trying to start something I don’t want to finish and I don’t want to finish anything.
In my defense, I am very drunk and I do look sexy in that shirt thank you very much
You even look sexy without that shirt. Your sexiness is shirt-invariant!
In 1998, the young lady working the cash register at the taco bell near where I worked told me I have really pretty eyes. So I have that going for me, which is nice.
The same thing happened to me, only it was at a Carl's Jr! Rejoice, for we have pretty eyes! (At least according to 2 random fast-food workers)
Anon's tombstone:
"She really liked my voice."
It's crazy how few times in an average man's life he gets real compliments on clothing or looks. It happens so rarely most of us can tell you about the times even when they're 20 years ago.
Speaking from first hand experience: try growing a handlebar mustache (if you can). If you groom it well you will get complimented all the time. I'm a fairly generic looking guy without the stache, and almost never got complimented on my looks before I grew it.
Similarly if you grow a John brown beard but condition it that worked for me as a 18 year old but that was 12 years ago so ymmv. Also admittedly I was apparently hot
Muttonstache also works
I try to be mindful of this (I compliment people fairly frequently when I'm out of the house), and I still find that I don't really 'notice' men as much as women (I am asexual, so it is not an attraction thing either.) I think it's because a lot of women's clothing is varied, lots of different and interesting patterns and color combinations and cuts and styles. Men's fashion tends to be pretty... similar? The times I remember noticing and complimenting men has usually been when they've worn a t-shirt with an anime or something I like on it. One time I saw a guy with these really cool, vibrant sleeve tattoos too and I mentioned how much I like those.
Not that I'm saying it's men's faults--men's casual fashion seems to really stake itself on being 'plain' and 'simple'. All the t-shirts look the same, just in different solid colors. Plain jeans are plain jeans. Cargo shorts are cargo shorts. It's easy to let your eyes sort of slide past it without registering much. Almost like social camouflage!
My husband wears a lot of 90s nostalgia t-shirts and he gets compliments on them!
I'm pretty average looking but I have a cool looking cloak and I get a compliment literally every time I wear it because it pops. It's different.
As a wearer of nerdy t-shirts, i appreciate you! 😁
And honestly, I'm happier that way. The less I'm noticed, the happier I am, generally speaking. I'm an introvert and feel obligated to spend some "social energy" whenever a random stranger says something to me. They might compliment my kid or ask about something I'm wearing or whatever, and I need to respond to that in some socially appropriate form.
I'm not socially anxious or awkward or anything, I just don't like putting in the effort. So I generally avoid the things that would lead to random social interaction.
2 I have had 2 on the exact same shirt. I have no idea where that shirt is and it is my favourite shirt because of those compliments.
I've received two compliments from women out of the blue in my life. The first time was when a coworker told me i had a nice voice and should do voice acting for anime. That was 2006.
The second was another coworker said "at least you're cute" to some offhand joke i made. That was 2018.
At that rate, I expect another nice comment around 2032 or so.
The data indicates 12 years which would be 2030.
That's a lot more optimistic!
I'm assuming that there'll be an additional wait period. They are experiencing heavy call volume at this time.
It's austerity now, so we can probably expect a bit of deflation on the compliment market, pushing back projected compliment growth rates.
In my projections I have substituted the loss in volume with AI bots and OF girls.
omg my last one was in 2018 as well. we can be besties
I'm not a woman, but I think you type nicely.
Thanks, sugar!
I had a girl compliment my voice too ! I was maybe 17, had her on the phone, she was a friend's friend. Then we met and she ostensibly lost all her excitement
Oof, that hurts.
Many years ago, my girlfriend's grandma said I had a good voice for radio. I misheard her, thought she said a good face for radio. I didn't react badly at the time, because being polite and all, but I didn't like her grandma for a while. Then it came out what she had really said, girlfriend had a big laugh. I don't remember what grandma thought of it, I was a little too embarrassed to have any attention to spare...
hah ! misunderstandings sometimes have lasting effects on our lives
Damn people are lonelier than me?
There's always someone happier than you in the same way there's always someone more miserable than you.
But there will never be anyone more you than you.
Me, probably
Yes we exist
I don't remember basically anyone from my secondary schoold other than my 4 close freinds and this one girl that randomly asked me for a hug one day, said I give really good hugs, then basically never spoke to me again.
I get compliments on my hugs on the reg. Well, less regularly as I get older and meet new people less often, but still. Being a good hugger is somehow a weirdly rare skill?
🤗 hugs!
I was told blue looks good on me by a girl.
10 years later, most of my shirts are blue.
I hope she wasn't colour blind 😬
Purple for me. Fortunately I like it too.
Turns out she was making a BJ joke and occasionally lies awake cringing at the joke that everyone missed.
A girl once told me I am not horrific to look at. God that fucked me up lol.
I feel that pain. It's like that "worst she can do is say no" thing. When I was 12 my friends were joking about who another friend should "date" (ofc in the capacity that 12yos manage that) and someone JOKINGLY suggested me, I even laughed along for a second. Her answer, rather than laughing along or something, was a deadpan "eww". That fucked my confidence for years
Shit, I'm sorry. I have had a similar experience at around 7yo that imbalanced my relationships to others for the next 25 years. I'm pulling out of it now by sheer force of will and analysis. Wish you the best,
Once a group of us were playing spin the bottle and it landed on me and the girl said eww, he's like my brother or whatever and then spun again and the guy it landed on got a double bj from her and her friend. I felt sad at the time, especially since we were all camping so we could hear them in the tents. I'm still friends with those girls (now grown women.) Your story reminded me of that and I haven't thought of it in 20 years.
I've received a lot of compliments on my voice in life, Nicknames for it throughout school; i didn't have a period of voice cracking, literally woke up one day and my voice was different (scared the shit out of my parents that morning).
I hate my voice 🙃
Everyone hates their voice haha just know it sounds different to other people than it does to you.
I feel like I prefer the voice I hear in my head than the voice I hear when I record myself :(
{|The voices in my head 👀}
One time a buddy and I were out drinking and on our way out he ran into a childhood friend. So while they were catching up I was just leaning against a table and listening to their conversation and people watching.
A pretty attractive woman came up to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and said "you'd be more attractive if you had some self-confidence", and then walked out of the bar.
I think about that every day. Because I have never in my life been told I need "more confidence" (actually, it's usually the opposite haha).
Maybe she wanted you to approach her, you ignored her "signals" and the only reason that could be, at least from her point of view, was that you lacked confidence.
Aahhh... so, that morse code...??
Yeah I assumed so. It was a few years ago so we probably talked for a bit at the bar (I am not allowed to go get drinks by myself cause I'll end up talking to strangers for 45 mins haha) but I don't remember her from any other point in the night.
Idk it was just really strange haha
Shit like that, I'd probably not read too much into it. Some girls just like to fuck with people (people have been trolling before trolling was an internet term). She probably left laughing how she fucked with your head (yeah, some beautiful girls are fucking deeply ugly on the inside, and vice versa)
They're rare, but they do exist.
"You smell so nice" - a gay female co-worker. I was wearing a new cologne that I purchased for myself. It was very expensive so I'm glad I chose well
I must be a heck of a lot more "attractive," than I think I am. I'm male, and 44 y/o. I get a random compliment from strangers about once every month or two.
Lol, I would never make it as a public figure.
Our very own anonymous movie star. Keep on making the heads turn on your anonymous path
You're practically Pierce Brosnan!
Or it's the opposite and you're getting pity compliments. You're probably a pretty nice guy though, otherwise you wouldn't get any compliments.
I have had a few people that I don't remember meeting describe me as "the friendliest guy in IB."
That sounds like a more accurate description of this town than its real name, lol
Istan Bul?
Not Constantinople,
Everytime the cashier flips the tablet over before a tip, they say a compliment. I always tip more than I usually do.
They got you good
I did a lot of clubbing in the '90s. Once, a beautiful girl came up to me and said: "You're gorgeous" and then ran off. Thing is, though, I was in my early 30s at the time and she looked about 16. So, obviously, I didn't pursue her. But that's stuck with me for over 20 years. I can still hear it in my head.
That's kept me floating for years.
I hope you receive it one day 🙏
It's the thought that counts.
Is it though?
no.
It's the throat that counts
Where's the greentext?
Maybe the standard issue coloured 4chan post text is the greentext we made along the way.
My eyebrows got complimented back in high school. I ran out of the room red-faced mid class (it was during a science lab, and it's been 10 years).
I give my man compliments all the time. He calls me silly and pretends he doesn't care, but I think it is working. Have been running a semi-non stop compliment campaign since Covid where I tell him how beautiful his hair is in the hopes he will cut it less. It's been a good while since he last came home looking like a sheep after shearing. Summer is approaching, though, so I'm bracing myself for him getting the idea to visit the barber and have him mutilate those beautiful locks of his. It should be crime, honestly.
It's such a cruel thing that compliments from partners don't feel the same as compliments from strangers. My wife has been telling me parts of my body are attractive for agres, but I didn't really internalize it until I heard it from others as well.
It's the same phenomena as when your parents try to give you good advice but you will only listen to it if it comes from the mouths of "outsiders".
Example: my boyfriend tried to get me into Tool for ages and I was very indifferent to it. Then my closest colleague starts playing Tool at work and I'm like "omg this music is awesome" and I go home and tell my bf about this amazing new band I have gotten into and he just gets so offended like "I literally tried to get you into it for years wtf". We laugh about it sometimes.
A woman at a house party saw my driver's license after she asked for proof that I have two middle names and two last names. She saw my photo and said: "your neck doesn't look anywhere near as long in real life" I knew it was a compliment, and I'll never forget it.
"If I wasn't a lesbian, I'd 100% date you"
Normally, I'd write this off as someone "letting me down easy", but this was my best friend in High school that I knew for years, so I know the sentiment was genuine.
I think back to a compliment I recieved once. Probably one of my more pleasant memories.
When I was in elementary school, a girl who was generally mean to me and everyone else told me I have nice teeth. That was over 10 years ago and I still vividly remember it.
Nothing makes me stfu faster than singing in my car while parked somewhere and having someone walk by, knock on the window and tell me they think I sound good.
Sorry, I'll stop.
Tangentially related, I was ordering food at a Wendy's and the cashier out of the blue asked if I had ever been in a long distance relationship. I said no, but I knew people that had and if the relationship was strong enough, it would work out in the end. Hope things worked out for her.
"Long distance relationships work great for me because I'm more attractive the farther away I am."
I was working in a hotel kitchen and one of the waitresses told me I was more beautiful when I smiled. That was in like 2012 and I still remember it.
I'm an ugly woman and I remember getting a compliment from someone at dunkin. It was another woman, but she said I looked pretty. I think to this day she's the only person who has complimented me that wasn't a friend or something. 😅
I've had plenty of men yell out "huge bitch" and what have you though. 🤷🏿♀️
I don't imagine they were quoting Deuce Bigalow?
Some of them definitely were. They said it with the inflection and everything. 😂
Almost a decade ago a random gal walking down the street with her friends told me that she liked my boots.
Now I don't hold back compliments cuz as long as it's clear there's no creepy strings attached, it doesn't hurt and it can make someone's day :)
Only time I've ever been "hit on" was when a really old lady (over 65 at least) at a local Moose club called me a "cutie"... Back when I was maybe 14 or 15. Even my past partners didn't give me compliments.
I got far more compliments from women (age 30+) when I was 14 than when I was 24. Got literally catcalled by a car full of women when I was 15.
Just doesn't feel right only getting compliments when underage :(
in the psych ward because verbal abuse from my mom bc I'm trans (among other reasons),
It's the sweetest thing anybody other than my sister has told me
I don't see any text
A little kindness can go a long way. Remember to just compliment so. every once in a while, just for the sake of it. It could make their day.
One time a girl in a bar just walked up to me and asked if I wanted to make out. Of course, it happened after I was well into a relationship with the person who is now my wife, so I had to turn her down, but it felt amazing.
I work in hospitality. I get women multiple times a day asking if I sing, act or do radio work