Chick-fil-A is reportedly launching a streaming service for some reason
https://www.theverge.com/2024/8/21/24225507/chick-fil-a-streaming-serviceOpen linkView original on lemmy.world371
Comments75https://www.theverge.com/2024/8/21/24225507/chick-fil-a-streaming-serviceOpen linkView original on lemmy.world
It'll be unavailable on Sundays.
On Sundays you get your chicken sandwich at Net’f’lix.
So can they stream live footage of tortured children from the anti-gay conversion camps they help fund? Maybe make people think twice about buying food there?
Probably... not? You get so much more money when you lie. So they'll say how much then are "helping them", "saving their souls" (cough Spanish Inquisition cough), and the like. Lying is just kinda like, their whole thing, ya'know, bless their whittle hearts!
Likely some C-suite person who feels like they are actually an innovator instead of yet another MBA with too much power. To prove it, they're going to start a service that no one will use at a company no one respects so that they can brag about their "greatness" to equally clueless investors.
Unless they have discovered a way to beam a chicken sandwich over the airwaves, through my TV and into my mouth this seems like the most pointless thing ever.
Nothing says "family fun" quite so well as content provided by homophobic chicken sandwich dealers.
I'd rather support Los Pollos Hermanos.
At least they have the decency to keep their shit behind closed doors.
Can't I'm pretty certain Wonka still has the patent.
This is what Edward Enigma was doing, but general brainwashing instead.
If they beamed the sandwich, you'd still get the diarrhea. So just discard this and check out the competition instead, maybe.
If it goes by wonka physics where it needs to be shrunk down from like 10x size, you’d get such intense diarrhea you’d probably never walk again after shitting out your spine.
Yeah just go get ecoli at canes instead
Or maybe hit Popeyes if you feel like getting shot 😂
So it sounds like nobody in this thread looked at the actual article.
This isn't chic-fil-a. It's the homophobic bigoted billionaire asshole who has turned a town south of atlanta georgia to a 2.7 billion dollar movie making industry by building a movie making compound. He's trying to usurp hollywood. His studios have been the filming location for many major blockbuster movies in the past several years.
The article even mentions that the guy has sold 200 homes to the tune of 110 million dollars right by the studios so obviously he's diversifying beyond chicken.
If there's a market for christian shit i'm sure he'll capture it, but i'm sure they will focus on what sells. Maybe they will try to be the epic games of streaming services where they undercut the competition by hiring cheaper labor and taking a smaller cut from the people who pay to use the studios the guy owns.
Unlike steam, nobody loves netflix, disney, hbo or any of the awful streaming services there are now. Even crunchyroll which is a bargain has a fucking awful app and streaming quality issues. Since you don't "own" the movies on the platform you rent access to there's no lock-in or cult following like there is with steam. Because of all this... people will go to whoever provides the best service.
Seems you read an entirely different article...
All the article OP posted mentions, beyond saying Chick-fil-A is doing this, is:
I'm not disputing what you've said about who's actually behind this; but to talk down to everyone here like that info was already given to them is rather shitty.
There is and he absolutely will. The market for "Christian" specific everything is huge. People that buy that sorta shit also generally don't know what a good product actually is so costs can be cut and noone's the wiser.
See: Everything Kevin Sorbo has done since 1996.
Nah Christian movies are almost always the direct-to-dvd type of junk that you find in a $3 bin somewhere. The only one I can even think to name is Sound of Freedom and that wasn't even so much Christian as it was right-wing fantasy. The studio that made it is a Christian studio, however.
I would have thought the same thing a month ago. When I was looking for an opera, I stumbled on where I think this stuff is shoveled. Here's 35 christian movies shown in theaters likely near you in since May 2022.
Me: "what is Fat Home Vents..?"
Me, 5 seconds later: "ohhhhh"
Sounds like they're trying to compete with Pureflix, which is already a Christian streaming service.
Bigot Burger
Chick fil a doesn't do burgers. Unless it's the big T burger at Truet's...
Don't take it so literally. It's got good alliteration and rolls of the tongue.
They're gonna make soooooo much cult money from this.
Makes about as much as Netflix's current attempts to muscle in on the gaming market, Epic-style.
Why I continue to be surprised by corporate decision-making is beyond me.
"THEY MAKE LINE GO UP WITH STUFF.
ME WANT MAKE STUFF MAKE LINE GO UP TOO.
ME MAKE SAME STUFF THEY DO. SPEND BILLIONS TO MAKE LINE GO UP 2%
WHY WE LOSE MONEY?!"
At least that halfway makes sense. Netflix on a laptop means games too.
Oh yeah totally, a media streaming company trying to stream different kinds of media is exactly the same as a fucking fast food restaurant getting into media streaming. Did you even read your own comment before hitting submit?
LoL
You emphasised the word exactly but op didn't say that. Did you read his comment before hitting submit?
Introducing, from the makers of bigot chicken, bigot TV!
So, they are trying to speed run the failure of McDonald's experiment with Redbox. Instead of creating a massively successful brand that eventually gets bought up and run into the ground by Christian nutjobs, the Christian nutjobs are starting a video business to crater on their own.
Redbox wasn't a failure. It was actually quite profitable in its day. It just got outclassed by streaming, as did every physical media rental service. I don't know if Netflix even sends discs out anymore, if they do I'd bet money that it's severely less than what it once was.
Sept 29, 2023, the last DVD to go out was True Grit.
I looked it up cause I remember reading about it ending fairly recently.
I am completely out of the loop here but I already know someone important screwed up big time
They already run what seems to be every other post on Reddit, so why not streaming, too.
Sorry what do you mean by this?
So, you know how Reddit has posts? Well something like 53% of those Reddit posts are posted by chick-fil-a agents for various reasons.
Ever since they won the chicken sandwich wars of the early 20s they’ve been focused on invading media spaces, often quite aggressively.
Reddit is essentially a chicken sandwich propaganda wing of the massive chicken chain at this point, still quite a bit of porn though luckily. Can’t say I’m looking forward to chicken sandwich porn 🤷♂️
They may have won the chicken sandwich wars, but Taco Bell will be the only restaurant to survive the franchise wars.
And with no more competition, they'll go all fancy. Makes one wonder where you'd be able to get a decent burger anymore.
The sewer people. They've got an underground barbecue going.
Chicken sandwich porn? When Popeyes came out with their sandwich, there was a trending video on Pornhub soon after titled “PAWG let me Fuck her for a Popeyes Chicken Sandwich”. The Internet beat you to that.
Pepperidge farm remembers (shudder).
Burger King already tried the subservient chicken thing.
If you go to Reddit, you will inevitably very quickly come by posts that seem to be from regular users, but are actually fill-a ads.
Funny thing happened and I just happened to be eating their food when I filmed it. We did a thing and it failed at other joints but succeeded at their place. My dog can do a cool thing with their box, etc etc.
It feels like they have an army of as people dedicated to creating this content.
It started soon after they got a lot of bad press for finding anti-LGBTQ organizations. Instead of changing their ways, they decided to change their image through social media posts and largely succeeded. Most people associate their brand with good times now, even though they don't know why.
Much like whenever US police murders someone, Web gets flooded with memes and videos of cops doing fun things and being generally great fun.
Advertisers and AI bots have taken over reddit ever since Google made them the new SEO technique.
Is it called Flick-fil-A?
They should hire you instead of whoever came up with the bonehead idea of starting a streaming service.
Is it wrong that my dream for this is that it solely pays for development of incredibly gay coded TV shows, that the owners are too homophobic to recognize?
I don't wish that on any fabulous creatives, but I do wish that for all the money Chik-Fil-A is gonna waste on this.
I guarantee you they are doing this to specifically generate more cis/hetero content and will keep a close eye on that.
Agreed. But, to clarify, I am also calling them stupid and uninformed.
I hate the ownershit of Chick Fil A so very much, the Cathy's are awful homophobic born agains who've donated millions to anti lgbtq+ legislation in the united states, and third world nations, that still does so much harm today. Someone nicknamed it Hate Chicken, and that's all I've ever considered it since. Hate Chicken. Fuck a Chick Fil A.
Fuck a Fil A.
There, you're welcome:-).
And yet gen z despite being the queerest generation yet, gorges themselves there. Mindless consumerism
I like to call it dick fil a.
Family friendly unscripted programs.
Are we talking '90s Nickelodeon, or real housewives of the rust belt?
We should be so lucky to get 90s Nickelodeon! No, I think the article said it's going to be mostly original programming so it's a safe bet whatever it is will be like Hallmark on steroids
Hallmark is an abomination to everything decent in the world. The movie channel, not the cards I mean:-).
Also, I'm literally struggling imagining how it could possibly get more saccharine than it already is?! Hasn't it reached peak levels of evilness already, at which point where would they even go from there?
Probably just videos where you watch gay people get beat up (nonbinary and such would be too confusing to them to even watch). So "Christian" S&M.
I think we're talking family friendly like Jimmy Swaggart.
I am picturing The Righteous Gemstones level of programming (this makes sense if you’ve watched season 3).
"ChikFilA launching indoctrination vehicle for religious but mostly politically conservative causes"
The tops in boys. Short everything. Capitalism has finally reached the endgame.
Oh I do so fervently wish this blessing on the entire globe!
Chik-fil-A is owned by oligarchs. I guess I’m one of the lucky 10,000 today.
Translation, they're friendly with Perlmutter. Wish that bastard would just up and croak already. Bet you a shiny penny their "feel good" entertainment will have a load of Christian messaging peppered in (read, anti-lgbtq+). Fuck those homophobes and their stupid ass chicken.
24/6 live streams of their kitchens, worst series ever
I would watch only to find out if they are secretly renting out their spaces on Sunday as holy ghost kitchens.
Steaming Service. For steamed chicken.
Oh wow, this might steal the attention of the five people who watch Pure Flix /s
Sounds like it'll be family friendly game shows and Christian reality TV.
Honestly, that might actually be a profitable model they could make work, if they don't fuck the infrastructure up, or allow cousin Billy to expose himself to female contestants on 3 different reality shows they're producing.
I mean everyone else is... Why the hell not!
Oh good, more content to pirate.
It does feel like one of those situations where the hate watching parties for the worst produced content might be a big enough percentage to rocket that content to the front page of their app.
Assuming it's a free service, anyway. Which I guess seems unlikely, of late.