What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Edit: on mobile it looks like it's an engraved pattern, not spray.
And if you don't think that some people would not do it, you have not being on the Internet for long
"why tf are you issuing me a k pot /steel helmet, no that's not what I want written on the side that would be as ridiculous as issuing me a friggin k pot, stop writing !!"
“If you kill me, you’re gay in Russian” written in Serbian with sharpie.
“I have autism, please be patient”
If you’re gonna draft me, I’m sure as fuck playing into the ‘useless Joe’ meme and try and break my 1Sgts will to live
It's a strategy. You might get extra training that helps you live longer... .
Play it up too well and you might get some sweet cybernetics!
Simple Jack/Johnny Five your way to never leaving basic training! Sergeants hate this secret trick!
18/f/cali
How you doing?
Want to trade pictures?
In case of KIA delete browser history
"This side towards enemy" but on the backside of the helmet
*gets shot by commanding officer the first day out of basic
friendly fire isn't
Friendly
they'd have to to prevent me from shooting them
Look out everybody! We got a real Barney badass over here!
I should've framed the joke better. I was going for "friendly fire is such a common problem that..."
S'all good homey! You're late to the show now though. Someone else made a friendly fire joke already.
Dang this guy has WW3 figured out already
"Born to kill" and a peace sign.
(What can I say? I'm a sucker for the classics.)
Edit: after having read some of the responses in this thread, I might update it for modern times with "Yiff in hell" and a dickbutt.
"What is that? Some kind of sick joke!?"
You better pull your head out of your ass and get in the game or I will take a giant shit on you!
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
You win
A superglued pull tab for an aluminum can.
An ingredient list and nutritional information on the side.
Can of baked beans
I use Arch BTW
Idk but my gun is definitely getting named “Rooty-Tooty-Point-and-Shooty”
“Object Embedding Tool” 🤌
Lol. How about “Enemy truncator”
Remote aerator
Lead dispenser.
"Superperforator"
O+
I haven't been in the army in 15 years and would probably need to prepare for a lot of blood transfusions.
Helmussy (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
my head goes in it after all...
"Begun, the Climate Wars have"
DNR
"I just flew cargo drones"
In, Chinese, Russian, and English.
Just like the simulations
TFW they tell you it wasn't a simulation and the war is suddenly over.
gg Ender
UWU
I suppose at this point, plain MESHPAT is considered retro enough to be cool again.
So when your heads explodes the helmet becomes shrapnel?
Yeah, that's exactly what spray paint dots do. You got it.
Idk, sounds perfectly credible to me.
What exactly do you think would have happened with any other helmet paint pattern?
Edit: on mobile it looks like it's an engraved pattern, not spray. And if you don't think that some people would not do it, you have not being on the Internet for long
the entirety of the vaporeon copypasta
Born 2 Shit Forced 2 Wipe
"I fought in WWIII and all I got was this stupid PTSD."
Born to Feel
I HATE MONDAYS
Fuck off I’m eating
Go away I'm baitin
🍁NERV or “Taiwan best China”
Paraguay is Best Guay
If I'm gonna die for a word, my word is poontang
All fucking N... Nevermind!
AFK 5, brb
"When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash"
SingleTakenGamerheaded down to the Winchester
*Should have headed down to the Winchester
"Head in the clouds" with pictures of nuclear mushroom clouds behind it.
Just put a bunch of check marks on the helmet.
"Peace Salesman"
"Comic Sans" in Comic Sans of course.
I'm gonna write 'Papyrus' but in comic sans.
So WW3 is started by a bunch of graphic designers who’re’d replaced by AI.
"You've got red on you"
We're yiffing in hell tonight!
Will kill for chicken nuggets.
"Don't Shoot"
Microwave my hard drives
We're naming stuff right? Helmy McHelmetface of course.
“We’re trying to reach you about your extended warranty”
“Hide yo kids, hide yo wife”
Oversized pattern of pixel noise sized for 720p from ~200ft... Or whatever else I can find that image recognition has trouble with...
Alternately, a picture of Our Great Leader/The Honorable Chairman/Gandhi/A stolen NFT, depending on the theatre.
"I Eat Ass"
Born to yiff.
->
Just hoping the sniper follows the arrow and shoots the guy next to me instead.
And then he got a headshot by shooting right next to the arrow but only by a few centimeters
Stickerslap the shit out of it like a snowboard.
“haha my gat go blat blat”
Sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler
Pistachio
"Don't shoot"
cheapest helmet ever ! read in comic book guy's voice
A tear in the cloth cover where I banged in some mortar aiming stakes. And googly eyes on the back for when I ride the tube. ;)
Rooty tooty snooty pooty
My favorite waifu.
"Wild Potato" or "Born to NCD, Love to Kill"
I SURRENDER!
Born to Die World is a Fuck I am Trashman
"I'm autistic" so they kick me out and I don't have to go to war
Nah, you just get a logistics corps assignment.
Fuck war, I resign, let me leave or put bullet into this sign immediately. I don't have time for this nonsense.
Putin & Xi are cunts or Bug Smasher. Depends on who we are fighting...
Et in Arcadia ego.
"I'm gay." And then hit on my CO until I'm back home.
"Why are we here?"
Nasio pa matá
"Morituri Nolumus Mori"
"why tf are you issuing me a k pot /steel helmet, no that's not what I want written on the side that would be as ridiculous as issuing me a friggin k pot, stop writing !!"
Bad hair day