Spyke

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mtf

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[Vent] I feel awful...

Just wrote that in other comment under Your previous post... You hellish assy celeb. I dare You to do some ultra cute painting, of any style, digital or classic, and post it to 196 here. And do 20 squats daily for sake of Your ass. Ass must grow.

You don't know what to do? none know, but hey, here's some random idea from random fuck me from teh internetz, take it or not, at least it's something?

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German police raid trans health center over suspected prescription drug trafficking: A ‘violent intrusion’

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Half meme, but I dare to say, hrt is bit addictive. Once taken, going back is not an option for many.

Then, I doubt many common transgender, even at some foundation or queer organisation, can make estro (article was about raiding transfem spot) at garage. At best, it could be sharing legally acquired, taxed and imported diy, like sharing ibuprofen? Would sharing a painkiller pill be illegal?

I highly guess, some bigot hater did spread fake news about horrible things that happens there, and police had to go fair duty, secure stuff for further tests. The question, drama, how they did that, could be even fake alarm from fairly angry and disappointed members of an queer organisation. Would be angry too if such happens to me.

mtf

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I fucked up big time...and I'm sorry

Wannabe celeb or lost kid overtaken by dramas, or maybe lost kid overtaken by too much free time... same thing...

get loved and I dare You to do something to be proud of. I dare Ya to paint, (in any way, may be digital), most cute 196 painting ever.

And start doing 20 squats, daily, after lunch/dinner - our asses needs care too. Hugs.

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German police raid trans health center over suspected prescription drug trafficking: A ‘violent intrusion’

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By quick research again, crypto is also fully legal?

afd (lower letters intended) being dicks is another story, they surely using any way to make queer or migrant life harder, including notifying police of fake stories, that police, well, gonna check.

For nothing being made to stop nazi fucks, I've did read some stories over last few years. German gov is trying to enforce some combat democracy constitution law to put afd illegal, even if that's faulty system with holes. Yet, I'm still jealous of how much German law doing against them.

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German police raid trans health center over suspected prescription drug trafficking: A ‘violent intrusion’

is DIY HRT illegal in Germany? Sure lack of doc care is meh, but illegal already?

For being accused of illegal drugs, that's something police should check... like, we (I speak as trans here) we are normal people too, not saints, some do some illegal stuff too, and we are not above the law. If police had serious base of thinking, some drug dealing happens, they going in.

The drama, how the police acted in there? was they any extra brutal because of suspect were queer? Did they lack some item care, were disrespectful, insulting or violent?

edit - quick research, diy is afaik legal, some foundations calls for being safe on overdosing and doing blood tests, common thing, found no warning about dealing with illegal drugs.

mtf

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[Vent] Maybe I **am** the problem... [CW: suicide, CW: maybe abuse (?), CW: references to SA]

Thats one side story, but I see some red flags... red banners even, on his side. As much it's personal to let partner push a little and to change self a little for someone, but this here would be too much for me already.

Stay safe.

Lil edit, clarification: relationships are not about letting others do things only, but about boths letting other one push a little as much as we are comfy with, but doing same too. To change self a little for someone and making them change for valuable us. Stay safe.

mtf

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vent post tw: sexual harassment, hopelessness, dysphoria

That's some story.

Yeah, people are different, even among queers, that queerness alone is far from enough to make as even a little similar. They all have own worries too. Hard to blame them for all that.

By my pov, looks like the only bad part, it was not being independent. Have You tried to look for a safe spot on Your own, some manageable hotel, airbnb or booking service. Arrive much earlier, even a day or even two, get time to tour the city, rest enough after big travel and before party.

Did such a mistake myself in Berlin not so long ago too... went for a one day trip, had some nice tour around the city with lots of walking. At evening, went concert party spot... to sleep for most of the party, I've paid lot of monies to get ticket into. Stupidly expensive nap. F me...

Even such nice moments like enjoying happy parties require some stamina, we gonna recover it with rest before.

Wish Ya next trip be super healthy in every way.

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Prison guard rule

Fuck my life

Nah, we all have to do it on our own.

For my rulebook, that's position 209b. Your resources must be faulty, are You sure You did updated it recently?

For correct 210, You need some solid bars between, so front person have to, and not be held by back person. Alternatively 210b, You can use rope attached to something behind, that front person pull onto self.

mtf

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I don’t want bottom surgery and I hate myself for it.

A question, are You sure, You did not mess between "I don't want" and "I want but have priorities"?

All problems of surgery You wrote, cost, insurance, house, recovery, quality of surgery - it's all matter of money. Or more, matter of priorities where to invest money You have/get. Priorities.

As for me, I wish to have it, maybe over time, oh I barely started hrt and theres lot lot lot other stuff on my todo list.

If that may help, I also have many near-to-impossible things on my todo list, I'd like to earn million € on my bank account, in a legal way if possible... yet I know the chances for that, well, yeah. But I have this on my todo list, some bottom of the list. Then, I do accept that I may never finish the list. My bottom is not on top of the list, probably not even in the middle part, but it is there. I will probably live without being a millionaire and probably without bottom, and without many other wishes done.

Don't be sad of not getting EVERYTHING. Be happy with ALL You get, with all prios You choose.