If they didn't put your name in all caps or something, you're good to go. Just walk up to the judge and explain during court. Ignore the bailiff, he won't tackle you.

Whatever, don't care. Won't be lured in to eat their crappy food. I could gather more sustenance from sunlight more cheaply and with better service. Bagged lunches unite!

Did this professionally for a while. Carpet cleaners would largely go out of business overnight if everyone took their shoes off. Filthy animals.

Shhhh I wanna hear the crazies

30 Seconds to Jail

I don't know about this. This guy's more punk than me.

Years ago, a coworker greeted me with "Happy 420!"

• Me: "Oh, I didn't know you celebrated Hitler's birthday."
• Him: "What?”
• Me: "April 20th was Hitler's birthday."
• Him: long pause and blank stare "I DIDN'T KNOW HITLER WAS A STONER DURHURHUR!"
• And then I got a new job.

In a final act of defiance, the wasp robbed you of what you wanted most: the certain knowledge of its demise and the peace that comes with it When I am dying, I too will crawl away to my presumable death, never to be seen again. My enemies will spend the rest of their pitiful lives will be spent glancing over their shoulders and checking corners. Waiting for what will never come. They will never know a moment of true peace. The wasp can teach us a great deal about hate. Hate that is truly real and everlasting. All hail the wasp.

I thought the sink/dishwasher combo was just AI craziness but I had to Google it. It's a real thing. What the hell.

The bad thing about the newfangled Dyson ones is there isn't really a good place to put your dick

Holy shit that ui is poison on mobile

I'm going to get in that thing and KICK YOUR ASS

I feel personally attacked here.

Then they slide your silverware or straw over to you and say ...and there's that."

"Yes of course, that"

I bought the good beer tonight

Tell her to sit on it. And rotate.

I'm interested to see how my system will handle the crowds in Louisville or Ravenwood

If you want mushrooms, SHUT UP. If you want broccoli, what the hell is broccoli anyway? If you want something crazy like pineapple, I KILL YOU. If you like pepperoni and bullets, you've come to the right place.

Won't someone think of the billionaires?!

Good drugs and bad sex, you say?