I've only talked briefly about a few of the people who particularly dislike me with one other person who was a regular witness to their behavior, who more or less confirmed that they can't stand me. I know that it's not that everyone actively dislikes me, but there are enough people who do in my immediate workplace that I have to interact with on a daily basis that just makes it a drain to be there.
I probably should have been more clear that when people don't seem to think that I'm disliked at work unless I bring up issues of overt bullying or verbal abuse said directly to my face, is when I try to verbally discuss the issue with allistic people, who I do not work with, when they ask me about work and the conversation extends beyond just a basic one-line response. And I don't think it's that everyone at work hates me, and I'm not even sure that I would want friend-friends from my workplace. As I said in the OP, it's kind of a mix or a range between neutrality to utter disdain and unfortunately there's a decent cluster of people who have enough disdain and also social cliquishness to go along with that. If everyone was in the neutral to some dislike but still cordial zone, then I think I would actually kind of like my job. It's that enough people do actively dislike me to the point where it's very draining and hard to not have the misery carry over and have to be something that constantly weighs me down. I think that the solution is figuring out how to deal with the burden of the pain that the rejection and exclusion causes, even though I logically understand that I wouldn't even really want to be close with many of the people doing this anyways. The rejection won't go away, but if I can manage the pain, then I'll be able to more solidly engage with the logic that I'm incompatible with nearly everyone who holds me in active disdain anyways. But as it is, there's just so much rejection that it's just hard.