And quicksand.

Kash Patel looks like he just threw up in his mouth.

I used to have a pre-filled salt grinder that said "freshly ground for fresher taste". I always thought "you don't understand how rocks work" whenever I would read it.

The kid was all into it until dude destroyed the food. Went from "yay, weird things are happening!" to "what the fuck is wrong with you‽" in the blink of an eye.

When I got my first car my grandmother told me "don't do anything to it that makes it stand out to the police."

Could be worse.

A few years ago I was sitting across from a guy at an airport and he was loudly buying skis for his son. Not only did I clearly hear the whole story of how his son just made the ski team and needed skis ASAP, I also heard his full credit card information.

This may be me being a bit pedantic but "1985" is a SR-71 song. They wrote it and did the original recording. The Bowling for Soup version came out 2 months after the SR-71 version. It is one of those songs that the cover is so much more popular than the original most people don't realize that it is a cover.

I have always liked Owen Wilson's acting but after meeting him I realized they he isn't really acting in most of his movies, he is just delivering lines as himself. I still like his movies it was just kind of a neat realization.

Yes

I always call it "the hole in the bible belt".

lines being drawn

I see what you did there.

There are some killer restaurants in gas stations where I live. Some of the best Thai food I have ever had comes from a shell station. It is just a couple of older Thai lady's in a tiny kitchen serving up amazing togo food from the back of a gas station, and there is always a line.

Rule number 1: Don't shit on the bus!

Rule number 2: Sleep with your feet to the front.

Rule number 3: Don't shit on the bus!

In case you were still wondering it is a Schlage Everest core.

Also New Mexico, Old Mexico, Middle-aged Mexico, Adolescent Mexico, and Teenage Mexico.

The Interrupters cover of "Bad Guy" and the Hailstorm cover of "Get Lucky" are 2 of my favorites.

One day in the mid 90s there were some Klingons with a table set up in the predator house of my local zoo. I think they were there promoting the local Star Trek fan club. The only detail I really remember was the "gagh" that was just gummy worms in corn syrup.

I work at hight and one of my secrets is that I am afraid of heights, I am just really good at turning off the part of my brain that says what I'm doing is a terrible idea.

A couple from a co-worker:

If you don't have time to do it correctly now, what makes you think you will have time to fix it later.

Remember, you are not stuck in traffic, you are traffic.

And a couple from my grandmother:

Don't study drunk, but if you do at least be a little tipsy when you take the test.

Don't do anything to your car to make it stand it to the police.