"Oh this is a PS5? I thought it was bananas."

45-67Million Years according to Wikipedia.

Sharks are hundreds of millions.

Also somewhat relevant: https://xkcd.com/1342/

Proceeds to use it exclusively for browsing the web.

Yeah but that actually works tho

I had a dude once tailgate me and honk at me for going 25 in a 35. I had just pulled out of a parking lot and was getting my bearings. It was a two-lane road. I was in the right lane. He finally went around me, and I gave him a dorky wave.

30 seconds later, he was in front of me at the next red light, so to be a dick, I honked at him.

Dude spent the next 10 minutes in front of me going like 10 miles per hour. I wasn't in a hurry, so I thought I'd just let that play out. Later, when I switched lanes to avoid a turn-only, he switched immediately after. I realized that he intended to stay in front of me driving slowly presumably until I got home.

So I eventually faked him out and lost him.

Dude wasted 10 minutes of his life proving some kind of insane point. He had a young daughter in the back seat. I feel bad for her.

"She fucked so many guys"

Uh...okay?

When Newton worked out the laws of motion, he figured they had to be correct because they were so simple and elegant.

He had no idea that relativity was going to come in and fuck his shit up.

Not true. A few months ago, a kid played Tetris until it crashed. Technically beating the game.

/pedant the term would be “emigrating”

Yeah alternative was MicroUSB which is dogshit.

They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes. I bought them.

~Suzy Eddie Izzard

For those who just wanna know: cards at the time performed math on brightness values assuming a linear brightness scale when it should be logarithmic.

Not saying OP is fibbing but I used to work alumni soliciting and they’d absolutely track your call duration and success rate. If you spent that long on the phone, you’d better have something to show for it.

I floss and electric toothbrush every night. My dentist routinely complements my hygiene. Every cavity I’ve had filled in the past 8 years started from before I had an e-brush.

At a recent visit after remarking on how little plaque I had, my dentist asked if I brush twice a day. I told him no, only once a day.

He immediately changed his tune and told me that I should brush twice a day for better results.

I think he’s in the pocket of Big Paste.

• Auswitch statement
• V2latile variable
• Goebboolean
• Zyklon C++
• Left shift, Reich shift
• Open and close Parenzer
• Iron Cross-compiler

I think when I first saw this comic, the punchline was "what's a four?" which I find funnier.

I heard recently this summary:

The US economy depends on two things:

• Steady growth in available jobs
• The bet on AI eventually pay off and replace all jobs with AI.

The closest planet to Earth is Mercury.

On average that is. Mercury is actually the closest planet to every other planet in average. Because when it’s on the other side of the Sun, it’s still pretty close.