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This might be surprising but I'm looking for someone to masturbate while I'm on the throne.
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You'd tell this to a 5 year old?
Rules
Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to ![email protected]
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This might be surprising but I'm looking for someone to masturbate while I'm on the throne.
Wrong community.
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
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Bounty is a chocolate bar?
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Why does my beard grow back faster after shaving?
It doesn't. The growth is the same. The perceived difference is because the ends of the hair are straight and uniform rather than all raggedy. People have been asking this for years and have been hearing this answer for years but for some reason keep asking the same question over and over.
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[Meta] Can we change how the answer is revealed?
Here's an idea. How about editing the title to [Solved] [Genre] and in the body put the title and artist in a spoiler? The problem before was just adding the solved tag to the title.
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My dentist offered me dentures for only a dollar. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth.
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Are you the dad joke cop?
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Jill Stein surges ahead of Kamala Harris among Muslim-American voters in key swing states
2016 again. Idiots never learn.
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Achy, Bracky, Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus
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It looks AI generated? Wonder why?
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Do You Need A VPN?
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Technically, Earth is a third-world planet. Have you ever looked at a map of the solar system?
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Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?” I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
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The really sad part is that it was my daughter and she is 32....
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Start Thinking Lyrics Not Titles
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It would help and starting tomorrow I will start trying it out as a test to see how it works. Thanks for the idea
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Everything is so expensive
where are college professors living in their cars?
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My son asked me to explain what a solar eclipse is? I said no son.
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Really
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The New Atheism at 20: How an Intellectual Movement Exploited Rationalism to Promote War
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How can not believing in God be a hoax?
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Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie.
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Post your own joke then it can
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This sovcit is, just wow.
Easy. Stop all withholding by filling out an ID10T R-ES.IG-N.
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War Pigs By Black Sabbath
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Ding, Ding, Ding....we have a winner.....where shall I send your cookie?
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Are UFOs real? Historical markers say yes
UFOs are real and I've known that since I was a child. I am surprised that NPR involves itself with this bullshit article though. The U stands for UNIDENTIFIED and if they are claiming they are alien, that would mean they have been identified and are not UFOs.
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Join Lemmy!
I'm in.
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I'm looking to drop cable but need live sports alternative.
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Kodi with Mad Titan Sports
