Spyke

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You have gotten through the dark before & you will again. Life will continue to jab at your anxiety. Work on your tools while you're in a good place so they're sharp & ready when you need them. You are fighting the good fight & you can make it

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I took a loan and I am not able to repay I am thinking of killing myself

You are more important than your debts. If you don't pay will you risk going to jail or physical harm from the people you borrowed from? If not, than take a deep breath, know the next little while is going to really suck them a new normal will come & you'll find your way out of the mess. It might take time but you are young. You could still start all the way over 5 or 6 times before you start getting old. YOU WILL BE OK