Me before reading the article: It's got to be dates. Excel thinks everything is a date.

Me after reading the article: Even the workaround is halfhearted. Jeebus.

“We prefer to be called ‘housing providers’”

Landlords provide housing like scalpers provide concert tickets.

Humans: "Give wasps a chance!"

Wasps: "Fuck humans. Fuck them all. Over and over. With your ass spikes. Bonus points if you take out an eye."

It's more likely than you think.

Next headline: "The economy is doing super duper awesomesauce but Americans keep saying shit's fucked: Economists baffled"

Thank you, CaptObvious.

...you know, your username makes it difficult to sound sincere when addressing you.

"The only moral drugs are my drugs!"

• my alcoholic pothead benzo-popping mom

In this timeline, the edge is so far gone that it's faded into myth.

Anyone else think it’s cool to just fly solo as a good human, no religion attached?

Religion does not have a monopoly on morality, despite what many preach. Be kind, and believe what you want.

If only there was a good guy with a gun to save us from the "good" guy with a gun who shot a good guy with a gun who stopped a bad guy with a gun.

Netflix, what are you trying to do? I can't cancel my subscription in protest if it's still cancelled from the last time you did something boneheaded.

We also don't need yet another self-obsessed septuagenarian calling shots that will have ramifications long after they're dead. Especially one who owes their wealth and influence to fucking coal.

nonspecific positive imagery and music

Ask your doctor about [results of syllable dartboard] today.

They're already learning this.

I am in a solidly blue district. 4 out of the 7 school board candidates, ALL of the non-incumbents, were running on some sort of "family values" or "parents' rights" platform. A couple of them were within a few hundred votes of taking a seat last year. This year, their statements to media were highly scrubbed because they knew to tread carefully and avoid the dog whistles. And this week, one of them unseated an incumbent (and the only POC in the group). I'm glad the trend is going in the right direction nationally. But I wouldn't call for a victory lap just yet.

I know just enough Spanish to be throughly confused about how any of that is related to "science funding."

Til all are one.

they just can’t help themselves ... wanting the rights of others removed

This seems so familiar but I can't quite put my finger on it...

I never would have guessed that Musk is a billion times worse than Lex Luthor, but the math is right there. Terrible.

Im sure that there are other lifeforms in some other system just not the flying sorcerer type.

Ugh, I hope you're right. Flying aliens would be bad enough. But if the bastards can muticlass and use magic as well... we'd be doomed.

Not only that, but the item description tells you that cooking them has a cold resistant effect. The old man also gives a way to combat the temps.