Spyke

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NOT SEEKING MEDICAL ADVICE. How does one deal with grief or loss in a safe way without turning to alcohol or drugs?

Lost my wife of 15 (together 20) years a year ago tomorrow.

Dont hide from the grief. Grieving is a natural process. Cry for an hour or two every few days. Be sad about it. Remember the good parts and bad parts.

The human mind is fucked up. None of your memories are real. Traumatic memories that stay repressed stay traumatic. It is only through remembering those memories from a safe place that you start to quantify them and feel safe around them. Your worst memory is actually just a memory of the last time you remembered it. So remembering it in the safety of your own home while eating your favorite food and listening to your favorite song will over time slowly dull the pain of that memory.

Same for grief. You want to grieve. You need to grieve. But do it from safety and security and over time the pain will lessen.

This is why talking to a therapist is useful because they create a safe place to remember in. But also remember that everyone is different and not everything works the same for everyone. You have to find your own path, be it personal, therapy or counseling or group meeting etc.

Personally I could not do counseling or group counseling. It made me irrationally angry to hear someone try to talk me through it and it made me sad and upset to listen to other people's grief. So I did my own thing.

Good luck! The great healer is time but only if you let it.

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Wow. #Helldivers2

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Brings back memories. My group had a whole set of weighted dice the dm had. The group could vote on who and when they got used but each dice could only be used once per session.

Good times.

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2025-01-20

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Mimes dont talk. Pleading the 5th is invoking your right to remain silent. But he's speaking it instead of miming in which would have taken ten more panels but been much better.

Also for more context cops in the USA arrest people unjustly.

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Me too buddy

First thing monday morning.

Looks at river, "If I was in that river Id be so wet right now."

Boss starts looking worried.

"I bet if that river splashed me in the face we'd need two towels to clean it all up!"

Then I dont need to comment on it again until next monday.

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How do you beat post-work floppiness?

Recently lost my wife and my whole life feels like this listlessness you describe. Some suggestions people have made.

Plan out an hour after work to do something even if it means not driving home for an hour and going and doing something. This one works for me.

Do all your extra work on the weekend when you have the energy. Laundry and cleaning the house fit in here.

Plan out and prepare your metals for the work week on the weekend. Its only 5 meals. Cook two big meals and portion out the extras as leftovers in frozen containers then make an extra small meal that is either quick to cook or precooked or frozen meal from store. You now have three meal variety you can pick to quickly cook during the week after work. This works for me as the variety makes me feel like I have a good selection to pick from and if I buy some junk otw home I can eat the extra on the weekend.

Force yourself to exercise for at least 20m every other day. A hard sweaty workout! Just fucking do it no matter what. I do this in morning before shower.

Life still fucking sucks and I hate it... But its better than it was and gets better day to day. You just have to do it.

That's really what it all comes down to and the only real advise. Just do it. Pick one and do it for two weeks. Then add one more and do it with the first one for the next two week. And repeat. They say it takes two to three weeks to build a routine. At some point it will feel weird to NOT do it... But it takes time and energy. So just fucking do it because its not going to magically get better on its own.

Just do it already.