Spyke

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Alas Moths

The crazy thing about this is not just how evolution reverse-engineered what a snake looks like to a bird (or whatever preys on this moth), but also that some birds are born with an image burned into their brains labeled “avoid.” Snakes are such a problem to animals that may also prey on this moth, that a moth was able, over millions of years of evolution, to mimic that image through selective pressure. We’re not seeing here a moth mimicking a snake, we are seeing a moth’s wings resembling the image its prey holds in its brain of what it should identify as its own predator. An image that, itself, is held genetically and passed down from animal to animal, built by its own selective pressure. It’s amazing that this could produce such a clear image that’s immediately recognizable to us.

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*Permanently Deleted*

Fucked up. The cops actually repeatedly called the nurse to check this guy, and she repeatedly decided not to do anything. Including leaving for the night at a point when he was no longer breathing. Who are these nurses they have employed in the jail?

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Photographer killed after accidentally walking into plane propeller in Kansas

I saved a coworker from walking into a propeller at least once when I worked on the ramp. I noticed he kept getting a little too close without really seeming to notice what he was doing, so I kept an eye on him. Had to grab him eventually. Pissed me off. We worked with Dash-8 aircraft, big ol’ propellers. I raised some questions about it with our boss, so he asked this guy some more questions about why THE HELL he would even be that way, ended up talking to this guy’s mother?? for some reason, who informed him that this guy had a learning disability that we weren’t aware of. It explained some other things about this guy, but it just gives me shivers each time I think about it.

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What if I told you...

What if I told you that breaking down your entire worldview and building it back up from the ground up can still result in shitty beliefs because you refused to look inward and work on yourself and you’re still a shitty person?

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Should we replace democracy with science?

I think a better term to use would be “fact-based policy.” I believe that even if we intended to rework politics to be more scientific, it would just lead to all the same manipulations and twisting of facts that current politics involves. Don’t like a particular scientific consensus because it interferes with your goals? Hire a bunch of “think-tanks” to publish contradictory papers. Hah, guess what, that’s where we already are.

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Former KKK leader David Duke endorses Jill Stein

David Duke is responsible for my phase where I grew out of a simplistic view of politics and economics and started looking into things a little deeper. Hear me out: Back in the day, I went through a Libertarian phase. I supported Ron Paul. I was young and stupid, what can I say? Anyway, I read some news article that claimed that David Duke donated to his campaign. I was like, “Hmmm, what’s this all about?” And so began my realization that things are never as simple as we want them to be. So, thanks for being a racist dick, David Duke. Without your donation to Ron Paul raising my suspicions, it may have been at least a few more months before I picked up on the rotten smell. I might have actually put that stupid bumper sticker on and everything (shudder).

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Donald Trump demonstrates how he negotiates with Putin

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The truth is that’s there’s a sharp dichotomy in American society between those that value integrity and those that do not. It can be seen if you interact with the general public or if you simply have children that you’re trying to raise. Why this is is a very complicated subject, and goes back further than I think we Americans are willing to admit.

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What’s the worst date you’ve ever had, and why was it so awful?

I was a teenager in high school. Late 90’s. I had never really been on a date of any sort before, so this is a first first date story.

I met this girl online on AOL instant messenger. We chatted very frequently for a couple of weeks, then started talking over the phone almost every day. We were really hitting it off, so we started trying to figure out how to hangout together in person. Eventually, she invited me to come over to her house. I was stoked. She said she lived in a nearby suburb, and relayed some directions to me, which I wrote down on a piece of paper. It didn’t seem too far. She said her parents would be home, so my parents said it was ok for me to go over there. I mean, they were probably stoked I wanted to go see a girl too, as I’m pretty sure they were starting to think I was gay by then. I wasn’t, but that’s a separate messed-up story.

An issue came up, though. Her parents said she couldn’t hang out unless she cleaned her room, as it was really messy. I said “No problem! I’ll help you clean it and we can hang out after!” Genius, right?

Anyway, hormones firing on all 8 cylinders, I hop in the car and begin my journey. Turns out she didn’t really live in the city she said she did. That was just the nearest city to where she lived. I’m driving, driving, driving, further away from town thinking I’m lost, but I’m not. I remember turning around and doubling back a few times assuming I MUST have missed a turn. I did not yet own a cell phone to call and verify with her. Folks, the struggle was real back then, LOL. I just eventually followed the instructions as best I could, and eventually found my way. They were not good instructions. It was a miracle, really.

I go up, knock on the door. She and her parents answer the door and let me in. These parents were weird. They were basically gushing to meet me and let me in, but were strangely stoic at the same time, if that makes any sense whatsoever. Whatever. But then, all of a sudden , these parents that were going to be there while we hung out suddenly grabbed all of their things and bounced. Drove off. Huh, weird. They just left this strange boy they’ve never met and their daughter alone in their house. Good thing I’m not a creep, I guess?

This girl is grinning happy, but then gives a warning. She says her room is really messy. I say “It’s ok! My room gets messy sometimes, too! Let’s just attack it real quick and then we can hang out.”

Narrator: No, the boy did not actually know what a real messy room was.

We go in her room and I am shocked. I try not to show it, but it’s bad. Really bad. Every surface in the room is covered with stuff. No part of her floor is visible. Just clothes, toys, books, all sorts of stuff covering the floor, the bed, the shelves, the dressers. I take a moment to look around and take it all in. I’m already here. I’ve already agreed to help her with this, and I really want to get to the hanging out part. I clap my hands and say “Welp! Let’s grab some trash bags!”

So I spend the next couple of hours at least helping straighten out this disaster zone. Now, you really get to know a person when you dig through all of their stuff. There were a couple of things of note. First, it became apparent that this had never been done. Ever. As we pulled up the strata of clothing and toys on the floor, it was like an archaeological dig. The further we got down, the smaller the clothing became. The toys looked like those of a child younger and younger. By the time we got to the bottom, there was toddler clothing. Once able to get under the bed, there were baby toys under there.

At one point, I found a bible, and asked where she wanted to put it. Her eyes widened and she got very serious and placed it up on one of her shelves with the cover facing outward, on display. The manner in which she did this was a little creepy. Now, I was religious and had recently finished up Catechism at that point, so being happy to find your bible didn’t seem weird to me, but I found her a bit dramatic. Whatever. I keep going, and then I find a witchcraft book. SAME reaction. Eyes wide, she places it up next to the Bible. She then turns to me and says, “You know, sometimes, I feel like I’m a bit closer to the devil.”

Like an oblivious character in a horror movie, I don’t get too freaked out. I’m like, dang, this girl is weird and has some issues or something. She starts talking about sex. Saying something along the lines of how she’s had it before, and wondering if I have or not. A lot of things were said by her that, out of context, may have been just a bit quirky. All together like that in that setting, though, I really wondered what was going on with this girl.

Eventually, we finished the cleaning. Many bags of trash and old clothes and toys all bagged up. Vacuumed, dusted, bed made. It felt so good and clean and open. A sense of self satisfaction. She sits down on the bed with a weird look on her face. Looking down at the floor. I say, “Alright! Now we get to actually hang out! What would you like to do?”

Her parents walk in the front door. She slaps her knees and says “Welp! It was nice hanging out! My parents said I could hang out until [this time], so you’ll have to go home now. Maybe we can hang out again soon!”

Narrator: They would not.

On my way out, I look around at the house once more. It seems normal. Clean. Very clean, even.

We didn’t really chat anymore after that. I actually tried to, mainly out of curiosity and concern. I had questions at this point, as you would imagine. She no longer had interest in responding. I just hope she appreciated having her room be comfortable.

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The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.

-Bill Gates

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Fraud

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We used to think that they nap most of the day because we couldn’t see what lions did at night. With new camera technology, we can now. Male lions are, maybe, a little more badass than we thought. Their job is basically to fight other lions and hyenas and shit and patrol their territory. They do this at night. Lionesses are still super badass and maybe even more badass than we originally thought, too. I guess what I’m saying is that lions are just badass. The difference is that lions are social creatures while, as far as we can tell, tigers are more solitary, so there’s a comparison issue there. Male lions do, at least, do a bit more for the pride aside from sleeping and fucking, like some of the old documentaries I remember made it look like. That’s just how they are during the day, but I mean, they’re cats. They do a lot of shit a night we didn’t really have a good handle on until recently. Male lions are big and muscly and powerful not for no reason. They have to have that in case something else wants to fuck around with their pride and find out. The lionesses are the providers, the male lions are the protectors that stay at home and protect the territory. We like to try to fit things into our own ways of understanding, but they just do it different. It’s how they evolved to survive.

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Problems

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I used to live in a peaceful, quiet suburb. Eventually, a Panera appeared, as one does. At the end of each day, the Panera had a load of bread that was uneaten and un-purchased. The employees decided that the right thing to do was to give away the uneaten and un-purchased bread at the end of each day. I got some of it. Others did as well. It would be a waste otherwise! It would go into the dumpster, if nobody were to eat this delicious bread!

Those who were the most needy eventually got word of this free delicious bread. It began attracting ruffians. Travelers. Hobos, you know—homeless people. They traveled from the deeper parts of the city to seek this golden mana.

The locals didn’t approve of these dirty people migrating to our alcove and congregating about the back of the Panera every day. For some mere loaves of bread! It was depressing, and more importantly, it could affect our property values! What if they linger about and people think our city was one that not only catered to the lower people, but harbored them? And so, it was dealt with. The police helped to put a stop to it, bless their souls. We thank them for their service.

Now, the citizens of this peaceful city no longer have to view the sad visages of those who never learned how to play the game of our society. The excess bread may rot locked away in that dumpster, but it is the price we must pay for the cleanliness and uninterrupted peace we enjoy.

BIG /s. I typed this out so somebody may see how fucked-up this line of thinking is.

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Mirror Test

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I’m pretty sure most adult dogs and cats understand mirrors, they just get creeped out by their own reflection. Take an adult cat, hold it up to a mirror. Watch as it actively avoids looking at itself. My dog stares at me for long periods through a full-length bedroom mirror and even barks and runs to the window when she sees dogs outside through it. Doesn’t really care much about her own reflection.