We call them communities here to distance ourselves from the front ad page of the internet

Well it's because I'm site security , and while technically yes it's within my scope of employment, that phone should've been answered by the previous 2 shifts, or the other security officer working the desk with that phone.

I'm not sure why the boss decided I should do it.

Sounds like a burned bridge. Be careful if you burn too many you'll be stuck alone on an island

Having porkchops for dinner?

How has nobody recommended you beat one out?

Always shake hands with an old friend before you shake hands with a new friend.

The guy who shot john Wikes Booth was once solicited by prostitutes. He was so so appalled by his boner that he decided to castrate himself with pinking shears (scissors). He then goes to church and walks it off before seeing a doctor.

The real sad part is that he was undeniably driven insane by his work as a hat maker. Fur hats were shaped and then brushed with mercury, which led to hat makers getting mercury poisoning from the fumes.

Basically the poor guy melted his brain, chopped of his balls, enlisted into the union army and was forced to march on a boken leg, killed the most infamous man in the world, and was then locked up in an asylum.

This is not a meme.

I don't think wages are going to increase to match it anytime soon. I think this economical squeeze is going to be semi permanent

The world was a better place when politicians had to worry about get tarred and feathered, quartered, or thrown out of windows.

Hey so one of the things i learned in college as a CJ major is that cops often make lateral moves in their career from one department to the next.

I bet small town departments like this only get the amount of recruits they do so they can get hired with "small town standards" and then transfer to the big city they couldn't hope to pass an interview with.

And also people who aren't white supremacists...

For English speakers this translates to :"thanks shitter, stop becoming westernized"

You can trust my English translation because I only speak English.

They didn't believe me when i said if you go far enough left you get your guns back

WHY NOT ZOIDBURG WAWAWA

Carnegie steel was bought and renamed to US steel. That was fairly successful. The only reason I know that is because Wikipedia is the few websites unblocked at work and this week i was reading about famous people between 1850-1900

You moved an image in Microsoft word 3 years ago.

Your sparking water come in bottles? Mine comes in cans labeled "white claw"

$20. It was alright ig

Be a man. Punch the person who pisses you off

Any hope for some sort of recovery?