Long spoon. I love long spoon.

I always eat my cheetos with chopsticks. That way I don't get degenerate fingers.

Dude, I bought Fallout 4 at launch. I still haven't beaten it. You're just taking your time. Sorry about the crashes, that's super frustrating. But I can relate, I remember New Vegas at launch.

One of my former coworkers was like this. I was warming up my lunch in the break room microwave, and he comes in with basically a whole styrofoam take out container of spaghetti and meat sauce.

He just starts dumping it all down the garbage disposal. I'm just standing there, stunned. Another coworker comes in, sees him, and asks him something in German. I can only assume it was something like "Hey, what are you doing?" First coworker replies in German, in a cheerful manner that told me he felt it was perfectly normal. Second coworker turns to me, eyes wide, shrugs, and walks away. First coworker finishes shoving two people's worth of noodles down the sink, and throws the Styrofoam in the trash as he walks away.

No idea. I can only assume he brought it for lunch, and was just done with it.

I love food, and cooking. But I will always take a big ol' scoop of #2.

I cried the other day, and my wife laughed at me as the tears rolled down my face.

Of course, I was waking up from a colonoscopy and crying about the fact that McDonald's doesn't serve Big Macs at 9:30am.

My father was a penis inspector, like his father before him. He had to work for years at a penis factory to get by, working long, hard hours. All while taking penis inspection classes at night. When he finally graduated, he said it was so satisfying to tell his boss he was quitting, and that from now on he would be inspecting his work. He went on to be the best penis inspector in our county, and oversaw Penis Inspection Day at 4 public schools and 7 private for over three decades.

The fact that they think they can automate this entire proud profession with one scanner in a public bathroom is an insulting joke. It's a single camera! How will it check the underside of the shaft for melanoma? Can it check the foreskin for proper length and cleanliness?? How does it check erection durometer? Not to mention urethral diameter. For fuck's sake.

You guys realize this company is tiny, right? The guy stabbed isn't some rich CEO. He just runs a machine shop. In Muskegon. Which is basically nowhere. Also, the guy is expected to live, and Nathan was arrested in 15 minutes. This story is no comparison, it's just sad.

Bet he doesn't know how to use the three seashells, either!

I have no idea what Deezer is, and I'm afraid if I ask, somebody is just going to say "DEEZER NUTS!!!" and I will realize it was a big prank.

I just don't get modern truck culture. They're so big, and ugly! They are such an inconvenience to everyone else on the road. And I doubt even half the people who own then do truck stuff with them. They're way to tall, the giant tall grilles look stupid. Their stupid headlights shine in my face. A 2024 Colorado is bigger than a 1994 Silverado. Why? I hate them even more than people who wear pajamas in public.

A buddy of mine made me a giant D20 full if these. And he threw in a bunch of red LEDs that glow when you put it in the middle of thr seance coil.

It's probably about the Vienna concert that was canceled due to a terrorist threat.

I helped my dad install a new dumb thermostat last winter. We just had to drill a couple of new holes to mount it, and moved the wires over. Boom,there was heat again. I thought about how much of a pain in the ass it was to get my Ecobee working, and how refreshing it was to just have something work immediately.

It's a very similar feeling to playing my GameBoy Color again after messing around with retro gaming linux handhelds. You just turn it on and play, then just turn it off. No boot sequences, no emulator settings to tweak. No SD card corruption that ruins your game library. Just on and off.

Man, that's a stupid name. Poor kid permanently tied to a pop culture reference. Two, if the Loki is referring to Marvel. Naming a kid is not an opportunity to express yourself. If you want people to know you like star wars, get a tattoo. Or a bumper sticker. And then I'll judge you. But leave the kid out of it.

A blood sacrifice to the Musk.

Where is Barnacle Boy?