My advice? Sounds like you could use some therapy. Genuinely therapy is really helpful for sorting out these issues.
You sound like you may be dealing with more than just burn out. Of course im not a medical professional and i dont know you well enough to really make any fair assessment but just talking things out with someone would likely be beneficial.
If you can't afford therapy, talking things out with a friend may help as well but as they wont be trained to deal with this, it may or may not be helpful. It can help but its not a replacement for professional help unfortunately. I speak from experience but ymmv.
I worked in CS so i know it sucks. I hope things get better for you.