Spyke

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Averages

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According to all the right-wingers...Joe Biden has masterminded the murder and coverups of thousands of murder while simultaneously being the most incompetent senile sitting president in history...while Hunter Biden has all the details documented on his laptop...

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And the good stuff will be gone fast

  • A belgian waffle machine that is caked in burnt dough

  • The bacon is flimsy and under cooked

  • Plain bagels stiff from being left out too long and a load of white break next to a toaster you have to cycle 3 times

  • The kids leave a plate full of waffles floating in a pool of syrup, 4 bites taken

  • Half the 4 seater tables are taken up by 1 person, with plenty of 2-seaters wide open

  • Regular and decaf coffee that tastes burnt, and only powdered creamer, offers tea but it's so picked over it's 2-3 types of fruity chai or chamomile, green tea.

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He's too dangerous to be left alive!

You have Palps dead-to-rights with the tip of your lightsaber mere inches from his face. What do you do?

  • Extend your arm forward and saber him in the face effectively ending the reign of the Dark Lord of the Sith and saving the galaxy from impending darkness

  • Monologue, then swing lightsaber back, reset stance excpecting some kind of epic killing blow

nfl

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Smith Fired https://www.nfl.com/news/falcons-fire-arthur-smith-as-head-coach-after-three-seasons

I genuinely thought he'd get a slight pass this season with next year being his first true hotseat season. I've posted this before elsewhere but...

YEAR ONE

  • Inherits a team with zero depth at any position and thin at talent in the starters

  • Loses WR1, forcing WR2 to step up

  • So deep in cap hell the best they can do is sign 3rd stringers and warm bodies.

  • New WR1 gives up on the team and takes mental health leave

  • Still manages to go 7-10

YEAR TWO

  • WR1 gets suspended the entire season

  • Loses QB1 in the offseason and the best we can do is sign a 2nd stringer who hasn't started a full season in his entire NFL career, and played in 18 games in the previous 3 seasons across 2 teams, injury prone with nerve damage in hand

  • Still in cap hell, can only sign 2nd-3rd stringers

  • Still shows flashes

  • QB1 maybe kinda sorta quits on the team after being benched poor play, rookie 3rd rounder shows flashes

YEAR THREE

  • First year with cap room to actually sign FAs and make vet splashes

If anything, unless AS completely shits the bed this season his job is 100% safe. If he makes the playoffs year 4 is safe.

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