My right-wing coworker: Why is it we have record inflation whenever a Democrat is in office?

Me: Because the Republican they replaced left things an absolute fucking mess.

• All the workers have forearm tattoos

• At least 3 people are wearing beanies in the middle of summer

• Bacon is $4 extra

• The burger comes out on a bun drenched in butter and is so greasy/oily that halfway through it may as well have been served in a bowl

[2 week later] Former lead detective found dead in in what investigators have ruled a suicide. He apparently hung himself after a fit of rage where his house appeared to have kicked in his own front door, tore the hard drive out of his security camera hub, punched himself in the face a number of times, then tied the rope to a bannister and strung himself up.

I'm convinced the current influencer body standard for women (huge asses, giant lips, etc) was some joke by plastic surgeons and they just rolled with it

“NATO was busted until I came along,” he began. “I said, ‘Everybody’s going to pay.’ They said, ‘Well, if we don’t pay are you still going to protect us?’ I said, ‘Absolutely not.’ They couldn’t believe the answer.”

This coming from the guy notorious for routinely stiffing payments on literally everyone and everything.

The hospital I worked at caught a LOT of flak when they started making people clock in and out for smoke breaks in the early 2000s. The smokers complained they only took a couple breaks a day for only a few minutes. Within the first month they found out people spent over half their days on smoke breaks.

I've said it in other threads, but these "free" anti-virus software packages are there to use scare tactics to get you to upgrade to paid versions and other products. I used avast, and avg in previous PCs and every other day it was popups

Yes, but the form is just as convoluted and equally a waste of time

Yeah I learned that a long time ago. Was looking for a new knife...

Amazon - $14.99 with Free Prime Shipping.

Sellers A & B - $9.99 with $5.00 shipping

Seller C - $4.99 with $10 shipping

$0 net or gross? Because if it's anything like a few shady "charities" they had several thousand dollars in gross donations, but after things administration expenses, and a litany of other "overhead" they netted absolutely 0 dollars.

It would be an epic episode of IASIP if Frank finds out he has a long lost twin brother. They find out because Mac and Charlie are just chilling in the bar, Arnold walks in and they literally think it's Frank. Mac and Charlie can't tell Frank and Arnold apart while Dennis and Dee claim it's the twin-gene that they can tell.

Throughout the episode it gets increasingly frustrating for Charlie and Mac because they'll be intending to talk to Frank but at Arnold instead and Frank/Arnold has to keep pointing out who is who.

Dennis: "This is retarded, how can you not clearly tell the difference between the 2 of them. They look nothing alike!"

Charlie: "YOU'RE SO FULL OF SHIT DUDE! IT'S LIKE I'M LOOKING AT FRANK NEXT TO A MIRROR"

Dee: "Yeeaah uh Charlie, Frank is like half the height of his brother. How are you not seeing this?!"

Mac: "Half the height? I mean, maybe Frank is slouching a little bit. Stand straight up Frank..."

[Frank stands more upright, which to the viewer is barely noticeable"

Mac and Charlie start yelling at the same time.

Charlie: "THEY'RE THE SAME GODDAMN HEIGHT THEY'RE THE SAME GODDAMN HEIGHT!"

Mac: "They're clones! There is no other way those 2 are clones!"

Still the best president we've had since Obama

I once got called in to diagnose why it took 5 minutes to open up a single Excel file. The PC itself was a little dated and underpowered, but the file size was huuuge...like hundreds of MB.

It finally opened. There was ugly table-formatting...to the entire spreadsheet. Colored cell borders, alternating background fill, text and font formatting applied to every single cell; columns A-IV and rows 1-65,536. I pointed that out and said the only way to fix is start a new one and not apply the formatting, or to try and remove it from all the cells. She outright refused because she liked the way it was. So I left, and she went back to looking at pictures of her cats

It's been a while but I think they tried to establish 100F as the average human body temperature. But after they established that baseline turns out they were off by 1.4 degrees and couldn't change it.

It also gives people a sense of deep satisfaction believing they know some dark hidden secret nobody else does... regardless of how absurd it is

When you scream about any minor inconvenience is taking away your freedoms, while simultaneously support a failed nation whose entire existed resolved around taking the freedoms away from an entire race of people

There is a bigot in the town of Saint Denis whom you can beat to death in front of a cop and absolutely nobody will bat an eye at you.

He meant to say HIPAA. In sort, series a laws for patient protections which include looking at a patient's record to get their phone number for personal reason.

and likened the tone to the Guardians of the Galaxy movies.

Oh good, a light-hearted romp where half the characters act like idiots, that's exactly what a Star Trek movie about a clandestine blackops organization should be like

Don't forget their god-emperor Dorito Mussolini withheld congressionally approved military aid before this whole debacle...to attempt to blackmail Ukraine into giving him dirt of Biden....