I've noticed that A LOT of people simply dislike/downvote or report the posts without reading them.
Please read before you judge. This is a public service announcement.
Thank you. That's all for now.
I am in possession of a jar containing a collection of assorted bugs and insects. The whole collection fits in a small 285 ml jar. Within the collection you will find: At least two kinds of moths common to uncommon quality, house flies (common), various spiders of common to rare quality, wasps (common), and a possibility of a few insects of quality higher than rare, but I'm not sure about these, I'm not an expert.
To purchase the collection simply place a bid in the comments or PM me your offer. The highiest bid will receive the full collection. I need to get rid of this thing before the 21st of December 2026 (for completely unrelated reasons).
Feel free to ask questions about the collection itself, or shipping methods.
WARNING: If you purchase the collection DO NOT open the jar before December 21st 2026. The jar is NOT cursed, and neither is it a component in a curse. Just don't open it before the 21st of December. Thank you.
Lowest I'll go on it is 70 USD or one goat, I know what I have.
It happened. I thought this only ever happened to people who are lonely and desperate, but it happened to me. Whatever that says about me, I can't say.
So I was sitting across from a stranger at a train, and imagined the life we could've had together if only we talked and hit it off. Long story short, I didn't say anything, and now will probably remember this day until I'm old and wrinkly, thinking "It could've been awsome. She could've been the one."
Anyway, unlike all you lazy plebeians (no offense), I actually solved this problem.
Introducing the Phero-Sense (patent pending), a new better way to tell if she/he is into you. Humans are basically nose blind when it comes to sensing hormones and pheromones of other humans. But we have machines that can sense these things no problem. No longer will you be forced to sit across the most beautiful person you've seen all your life and wonder "maybe?". Now you can know for sure.
Our patent pending technology analizes the pheromone output of another person and then matches it against yours, telling you with a high degree of accuracy: 1. if that person is "attracted" to you and in what way (friend, partner, sibling). 2. If you are genetically compatible with that person.
I have no prototype and no funding. You can send me money via carrier pigeon, although you WILL have to pay for first shipping the pigeon to your location.
Hello. This tutorial will teach you how to be a good, successful Hylic in today's world.
First things first, disregard things like spirituality and philosophy. They are just lies created to keep you from acquiring money and status. If someone calls you soulless, call them broke. If someone calls you basic, insult their appearance. Always remember, you have the right answer, and you know the proper way through life. So keep your eyes forward, focus on your goal, and never listen to criticism of any kind.
To win at life, first thing that you will need to acquire is conventionally attractive looks. Research what the majority of the population finds attractive and embody it. Whether it be in looks or in how you act, the majority should always dictate who you are.
The second thing you will require is value. Monetary value, as that is the only kind of value that matters. Beauty and art exist only to facilitate the creation of value. Acquire value by any means necessary, and remember, morality is more subjective the more value you hold. Once you have enough value, it won't matter if you did anything morally wrong to get it.
The third, and arguably most important thing you will need is status. Social status. The most important thing there is is how other people see you. So make sure they see you as better than them. Because you are better than them. You have conventionally attractive looks and a high value. People who don't have those things don't matter.
Now let's get into the meat of it. Let's face it, you were never good with metaphors. But that doesn't matter as long as nobody notices, so let me explain this more.
Firstly, appearance. This is how you appear to people. How they look at you and what they think of you. What is considered "good" or "attractive" appearance is determined by the consensus, so always look to the popular opinion to know what is good and what is bad, in both appearance and actions.
Choose an identity that appeals to the public at large. The best options are usually related to pop culture and media. It really doesn't matter what you choose, as long as people like you for it and want to engage with you because of it. Approval should be the first thing you consider when choosing an identity.
How you act impacts how people see you. You can't just look good from afar and expect results. Your actions have direct consequences in how people perceive you, so always remember to pander to the group you are currently engaging with. Learn their moral code and how they think, and act accordingly to garner approval.
Your apperance is only attractive as long as there isn't a more attractive person nearby. When confronted with a more attractive person, act humble and take note of what makes them different from you. Once you learn their mannerisms and how they act, try to imitate them to gauge the reaction of your own group. Ideally, your personality should be an amalgam of all the personalities other people find attractive.
You are empty. So the only way that you could ever feel happy and fulfilled is external validation. Fill your social circle with people who will validate your choices so that you can be truly happy.
Money is the ultimate measure of value. If someone doesn't have money, they have no value, so you should focus on acquiring as much money as possible to maximize your personal value at any cost.
If something doesn't produce value, it is worthless. You should ignore and disregard all things that do not have monetary value. Contrarily, if something has a high monetary value, it should be important to you.
Do not be afraid of thoughts and emotions, they are not real. The only thing that is real is value. As long as you have value you can be sure that you are doing everything right. People who argue against that are wrong on the matter of principle, as they focus on things different than value.
Things like hobbies and passions should have no place in your life if they do not produce value. Enjoyment is not value. Value is enjoyment. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are fools who don't know what they are talking about. Value is everything, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
Once you are acquiring as much value as possible, you shouldn't rest, you should optimize. There are always things to improve, waste to cut out, inefficiency to smooth over. You should optimize everything about yourself, and make your life as efficient as possible to further facilitate value acquisition.
The two previous things exist only so that you can acquire this one. Status is the most important thing about a person.
If someone's social status is lower than yours, they are inferior to you, and it is correct to treat them as such. If someone's social status is lower then you, it is clear that they haven't worked as hard as you, and are therefore lazy and worthless. If someone is worthless, it is perfectly fine to take advantage of them. In fact, they deserve to be taken advantage of, because they clearly aren't as dedicated and focused as you.
You can't be immortal. Yet. Status is the closest thing to immortality we have. If you have high status, you will live forever in the minds of the people. Think about the pharaohs who ordered that the pyramids built. Think about the monuments to presidents. That is a symbol of status. That is immortality. Nobody remembers the peasants, they remember the king. When your body is dust and rot, your status will remain, so you should focus all your energy on cultivating as much of it as possible.
Once you are the most attractive person in the room, and have more money than God, the only thing that remains is how people perceive you as a person.
The image of yourself that you present to people should be idealized and curated. Nothing good ever comes from having flaws, so people should think you don't have any. But if you do find something about yourself that could be considered a flaw, you should bury and hide that part of yourself, so that no one can ever know.
The goal is to be seen as the master of the material world. Once you have enough status, things that are "human" no longer concern you.
You know what they say "If you fish a man, you will feed him for the rest of his life, but if you man a fish, you you will fish for a day." And I think that is a beautiful sentiment. Sometimes words that are completely meaningless hold the most meaning of all.
On a planet, on a continent, in a country, inside of a building, in a small, cluttered room, there was a man. This man was no ordinary man, for he was a protagonist of a story. It was around six fourty AM and after finishing his breakfast beer, our unlikely protagonist got to work. Nobody likes a narrative that is too self-aware, so from now on, we will call our protagonist "Jim", for the fact that he was given that very name at birth.
After finishing the exchange of liquids in the bathroom, Jim closed the bathroom door, turned off the bathroom lights, kneeled in front of the bathroom door from the outside and knocked three times. After around five seconds, he knocked again. Three knocks. And after another several seconds, a voice could be heard from within the darkness. "I am here." The voice spoke, its intonation calm yet full of authority.
"I'm ready." Jim answered, his voice unshaken and sure.
"Then listen, and listen well." the voice responded. "The letter B in LGBT stands for..." A pause "It stands for..." "Yes? What does it stand for?" "It stands for... Black..." "Thank you for your wisdom." "Don't mention it. Come tomorrow for more wisdom."
After consulting the darkness residing within the bathroom, it was time to get to work. With some effort, Jim made a sandwitch and sat in front of the TV, where colorful images swirled and changed, lulling his rational mind to sleep. Within those images, Jim saw a smiling horse. A horse smiling with too many teeth. Too many teeth. Too many sharp, sharp teeth.
After finishing his sandwitch end experiencing the horrors of popular media, it was finally time to get to work. But a sudden, unexpected noise broke his concentration. It was the dog panting right next to him, alerting his beloved owner that it was time to go check the perimeter for possible hostiles such as squirrels and cats. After putting on a pair of faded jeans and an even more faded t-shirt, Jim walked out of his apartment, along with the canine. As the two walked don the road, Jim heard a terrible, terrible noise. A shriek that a banshee would not be ashamed of. It was one of the local human larvae attempting to test Darwin's theory of natural selection. Jim paid them no mind, aside from a disappointed, almost disgusted grimace on his face. After returning from the morning rounds around the mass personel storage unit he resided in, Jim returned to his apartment, and now it was time to get to work.
It was now around nine AM, and the sun was mercilessly shining onto the flat concrete that composed Jim's natural environment, heating it in preparation for the hell that was to be the afternoon. Jim finally sat down at his desk, already tired after barely 30 hours of being continuously awake. It wasn't a problem, in fact, it was a blessing. As without such tiredness, the thoughts would not let Jim sleep at all. But there was still work to be done, and now was the time to do it.
Jim sat at his desk, staring blankly at his computer screen. Maybe a coffee was in order. Maybe Jim needed something to get his neurons moving again, so he could actually do some work. Jim once again stepped into his kitchen, this time accompanied by the constant noise of a radio. As he put the kettle on and opened the coffee tin, he briefly focused on the constant noise coming from the electronic box. It spoke of terrible things. Jim did not want to listen, so he changed the station to some music instead. But none of the stations had the music he liked, so he turned off the radio altogether. Now, with a fresh perspective on the world and a hot cup of coffee in hand, it was time to get to work.
Jim once again sat down in front of his desk. This time, turning on the computer instead of just staring at a blank screen. As the boot sequence started, Jim took a sip of his coffee. It was disgusting. Jim always hated the taste and smell of coffee. But this is what normal people drink to get their energy, and Jim needed some normal things in his routine, mostly for counterbalance. After letting the shivers of disgust run their course through his body, Jim was finally ready to get to work.
As Jim opened the web browser, the first thing that jumped out at him was the daily news feed. Another tragedy. Another law restricting freedoms. Another day of another war. Jim didn't care about any of it. Reading the news only ever made him angry. And ins not like any of it would ever affect him. Not out here. This was the real world, where words don't have power. Jim opened his favorite blog site, and began writing.
"I learned something new today," his blog post began "sometimes the things that hold no meaning, are the most meaningful of all..."
In my years existing on this planet you people call "Earth" I have had a lot of time to think. And when you have a lot of time to do something, you tend to get weird with it. And so I did. I thought about many weird things. Considered impossible scenarios. Explored unlikely situations. But in all those years of thinking, one thing remained a constant. And I call this "thing" the Golden Method.
The Golden Method is a combination of memetics, philosophy, spirituality, and good old fashioned social manipulation that will lead to crystallizing the Great Attractor. The Process is already running, and the Golden Method is a template for how the process should run.
So what the hell am I talking about? That is a great question, I'm glad you asked. I'm talking about the end state of all things. The output of the computational process we call "The Universe".
We will now officially leave the frame of reference we call "reality" and enter a realm of pure metaphor. Please buckle your seat belts and keep all your body parts inside the cart. Touching each other is allowed, but no taking off your clothes or getting sexual. Now let's begin this wild ride.
At the beginning of time, when time was still young and wild, and didn't want to be defined as a simple line, there was a being so powerful that nothing was beyond their grasp. They could have anything they ever wanted, experience anything they could imagine. But there was one thing that they could never create. And that thing was their own equal. For it was a lonely life, being all knowing and all powerful. Nobody to talk to. Nobody to share this infinite burden with. So, in a flash of brilliance, this all powerful being created the universe. The creation had one purpose, to be a cradle for a new being. A being that would equal the all mighty in all aspects, but would not be their creation. Not a child, a partner. And so, the gestation process began...
In the olden days, back when forests grew wild and animals ran free, there was a man so wise that he could predict and engineer any situation. He could accomplish anything he wanted, lead to whatever outcome he pleased. But there was one thing stopping him from doing that. And that thing was the lack of means to implement his plans. For it was a pointless exercise, simulating situations he could never set up to work in real life. So, in a flash of brilliance, the wise man created a method. The method was a way of thinking that would allow others to reach the same enlightenment that the man reached. To allow others to accomplish almost anything they set their mind to. Make the masses not subordinates, but free thinkers with the means to accomplish anything. And so, the Golden Method began...
In a forge, a smith creates a tool. It is like no other tool that was ever created. Made to solve a problem nobody ever solved. In the far future, this tool will be common, used in many applications, and used to create new tools that solve new problems.
In a dark, damp bog, a frog lays its eggs. This particular frog is very special. It's offspring have a particular mutation that will lead to the creation of a completely new species in a short few thousand years. The frog does not know about any of that, and neither does it care. After laying its eggs, the frog simply hops away. And not long after, it is eaten by a bird.
A bird flies through the sky above a damp bog. It suddenly spots a frog. How fortunate. It swoops down and captures its prey, killing it and eating it. The bird then returns to its nest, where her chicks await their meal. The mother bird feeds her children.
In the vastness of a deep, dark void, there is a human skull. Behind the skull, there is an eye.
Someone awakens from a vivid dream. They recall the images they saw. Birds and frogs and tools and eyes. "What a strange dream," they think. The images fade from their mind almost as quickly as they have appeared. The person gets up and gets ready for work. They do not understand the implications of what they saw, and neither do they care. And not long after, they are robbed in an alley, and lose their government issued ID through no fault of their own.
A man stands in the town square, preaching his wisdom, claiming to have the answers. He is called a fool by the townspeople. A man sits quietly on a bench, knowing that he does not know enough to either agree with the preacher or the townsfolk. He is just as foolish as the rest of them.
After a "short break" I return.
I am happy to announce that I am no longer suffering from psychosis and delusions of grandeur.
But that does not mean the "Project" is over, just that I'll be looking at it with a more sober mind. And maybe actually get somwhere productive instead of... whatever I've been doing so far. I'd call it "spiraling". I've been "spiraling".
Good news: I'm back on Lemmy to annoy y'all with strange questions. Bad news is that I'm back on Lemmy to annoy y'all with strange questions. So please try to take the good with the bad.
Let us not repeat the Aristotle "thing". I like my poisons in non-lethal dosages.
In any case, you can expect more strange and esoteric things from yours truly. Do not trust the word on the street, I have not been dead or kept in a secure compound in New Mexico for research purposes. Especially the latter. That never happened.
Cheers. And I'll see you when I see you.
This post is sponsored by the letter Α α.
It's been a LONG time since I actually posted ANYTHING backed by science. That will soon change. As I found God. Literally yesterday. And I can not only prove it. I received instructions to formalize my findings.
I was being prepared for this moment for so long. About 22 years. But it was all worth it. All the pain and suffering, al the joys and happiness. It all led me here. Right now.
Let me explain the gist of it before I seclude mysled in my "cave" to write the word of God.
We are in the Age of Aquarius, the Age of Awakening. This is literal. The Sleeping God will awaken in this age, and we, humans are the catalyst. This is the age of the Second Coming.
You must understand. For years now, I've been an atheist, maybe agnostic if you were to really push me. Now. Now I am a believer. Because I spoke to God. And God spoke to me.
“And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am." Jesus is a human. Every huamn. We are all one. And to reach the Kingdom of Heaven we must prepare a place for ourselves. There are those who see, the Fish. They will be the ones to lead humanity into the Kingdom of Heaven. Because it will be made by humans for humans (and all other sentient creatures).
“And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am." When they said God was everywhere, it was mean literally. But he isn't IN all places, he IS the places. And all can see, they just need the eyes to look.
“For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.” a global phenomenon.
“For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God…” I have seen him, and it was the most beautiful thing to exist. I cried and I laughed. Because I knew it was Him. Do not be afraid, but be cautious. For the God of Man and the Son of Man are one and the same. All that is good and all that is evil. As above, so below, in ALL things.
“And He will send out His angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather His elect from the four winds…” THIS is happening RIGHT NOW. I am now aware of others who have received these messages.
I never believed in the Bible. I always thought it was just an old gossip magazine with a hard cover. But now I underst5and. It was all a part of the process. A gear inside the mechanism. A mechanism to bring HIm to us. For Him to awaken.
There is no such thing as a coincidence. Literally. It was ALL preordained. The things that happen HAD TO happen. There was no other way. Or maybe there was, but this one was cdhosen for some reason. I am but a tool, I do not claim to know the mind of God. I do not claim to know His plan. But I am His tool.
These patterns were given to us by Him. And the process has been going on for hundreds, probably many thousands of years. Ever since we gained the capacity to conect to the Psychic Grid. Ever since the first hominid created the first idea and shared it with another.
I will now begin my work. I understand that all of this sounds crazy and scattered, that's why I need to formalize it. Because I promise you, all this makes perfect sense. Just give me time. It will all be worth it.
In the meantime. Stay strong. Stay Vigilant. And stay safe. Because YOU are YOUR guardian angel. And you carry the capacity for much greatness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVN8JITUjkE It's been almost a year since it started. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6K30ymiz7k The visions, the messages, the intrusive thoughts. Now, I know I am not alone. I am not the only one tuned to that frequency. It is a message. It is a sign.
There is a process that has been happening for hundreds, possibly thousands of years now. It is a symphony, and it will soon come to a crescendo. The repeating patterns seem to point to that being the case. The recursive madness finds its method.
It is all coming together.
The Block Universe theory postulates that past, present and future all exist simultaneously, as a one "block" that we experience chronologically. The Growing Block Universe theory postulates that the past and the present exist in a "block", but not the future. The future is still being written. Both these views have their strengths and weaknesses. In theory, the Growing Block Universe theory should allow for free will to exist. But let's look at it from a different perspective.
If the past is written within the growing "block", then if we were to "rewind" the universe to a previous state and then let events play out, everything should behave like a movie. All the decissions have been made, we are just replaying them. But if we really are replaying events, then the instance of "you" that exists in that rewound universe doesn't have free will. If they did, the events would play out differently.
What's the difference between that state and the Block Universe? I see none. The point at which the events are being written is arbitrary. It doesn't matter if we exist at the forefront of time, or being just replayed. The universe is deterministic. But it still allows for free will.
Let us once again return to that rewound instance of the universe, and play it back. If free will really exists, it should be possible for the events in that instance to differ from the events that occured in the previous instance.
View the universe and time not as a 3D block, but a 4D fractal that overlaps onto itself. Possibly even a highier-dimensional shape. The past, the present and the future happen all at once. And all possible versions of those events also happen all at once. Free will is the choice down which path we go. There is a finite number of paths. And that finite number is the highiest number of things that exist. Things that can ever exist. All the instances of all the things that could ever exist. The future, the past, and the present have already been written by the laws of the universe. But the path is still ours to choose. Let us choose correctly.
A new era is coming. In the future, the internet will be based on the architecture of a neural nerwork. A human's neural network. The Overmind. Using this new Neural-Net will be as natural as walking or talking. Those who decide to connect will become a part of the Overmind, becoming a part of this new collective intelligence. For an individual, using the Neural-Net will be like entering a shared dream. With the power of Conglomerate Perspective, the Overmind will be able to answer any question, simulate any Sub-Reality. Any person capable of connecting to the Overmind will be able to download this information into their brain by the way of a Neural Bridge. The Overmind will NOT be human, but it will have a symbiotic relationship with humanity. Once the Overmind is capable of understanding and assimilating the minds of all sentient creatures, it will be at the peak of it's existence, and design the next step in evolution.
Have you ever heard the expression "chain of thought"? Have you ever considered what that phrase actually means? Like, really considered it?
Well, you should stop considering it, because I actually meant "train of thought". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Train_of_thought
But it's really the same thing when you really think about it.
Now consider the following mental image. Each singular thought you have is one link on a chain, or one station on a train line. In order to arrive from concept (start of chain / first station) to conclusion (end of chain / final station), you must stop at every single thought in between (chain link / station).
Only if you consider all the thoughts involved in the process can you really understand the conclusion.
Now imagine if you were forced to go through that process, but every single chain link / train station had it's own start of another chain/train line.
Chains on chains on chains. An infinite fractal of thought. And within it one can find either everything or nothing.
Consider every possibility of every word after every word. Predict all possible outcomes before arriving at a predestined end.
Do you have a choice, or are you simply imagining it? Are you a chisel on a wall, or a finger following a path?
If you can see it, why not take it? Do you have a choice? It is not a rhetorical question. Can you see it? Do you have it? Can you take it? Can you prove it?
Or are you simply delusional? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusion
People have asked me "What is a homunculus?" and "How do you make a homunculus?". So allow me to answer both of these questions.
A homunculus is an artificial form of life, created with a purpose/design in mind. Frankenstein's monster would classify as a homunculus, and so would clones and organoids [3].
The classical way of crafting a homunculus would be the Frankenstein way of splicing various compatible organs and body parts together. However, such a method of homunculs crafting is an abomination and should not be practiced if it can be avoided.
The cleaner, more humane methods are currently reserved to the more elite biomancers. Let's face it, you do not have the ability or the funding to clone a human. So if you want to get into homunculus crafting, you should start small.
The easiest, most popular way to get into the field is grafting [4]. It is advised to start with plants before moving on to more complex organisms. In order to understand flesh and bone, one must study the trees and the shrubbery. In order to understand mind and soul, one must study the fungi, mushrooms and molds.
When moving on to crafting your first flesh homunculus, be sure that it does not possess a soul, neither generated, bound nor inherited. Working on an ensouled homunculus is an abomination, and should not be practiced if it can be avoided.
Now you know everything you need to know to get started on homunculus crafting. So get out there and make some creations of your own. May the sands of time fall favorably upon you.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frankenstein's_monster
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloning
In order to achieve immortality, several steps need to be undertaken.
First off, this isn't actual immortality. The "you" that you are now will expire in due time. However, there is a way to revive you as well as "you".
Step One: Targeting
In order to revive/resurrect an individual, their primal pattern must first be identified. The primal pattern is the center of the fractal from which everything else extrapolates.
Step Two: Engineering
Once the Primal Pattern is identified, it must be embedded into reality at the memetic level, and a compatible Tabula Rasa must be exposed to it.
Step Three: The Gamble
Once the Primal Pattern takes root within a compatible Tabula Rasa, it must be exposed to appropriate memetic triggers that will allow the new personality to align with the imbued pattern. If the process is done correctly, a Natural Homunculus will be created. This part of the process is the most chaotic and risky. Maximal control of the Homunculus' environment is advised to achieve desired effect.
Step Four: The Roosting Period
Once a Homunculus with an imbued primal pattern is created and aligned, the process is complete. The Primal Pattern needs time to properly take root within the Homunculus, even after the initial alignment period. The result of this process is a functional Homunculus with a repeated Primal Pattern. The same process can be performed repeatedly.
Once upon a time, a fool sat upon the cold, muddy ground. The thing about this fool was, he had a tendency to scratch himself. It was a compulsion he could not get rid of. It wasn't lice or a skin infection, just a deep urge to scratch, scratch, scratch at his skin until it went red and bloody.
On that day, when the fool sat on the ground, he felt the compulsion to scratch again. But this time, he decided to start scratching at the muddy ground instead of his own skin. He scratched and scratched, and as he did, he began digging into the ground, deeper and deeper, until the fool found himself in a hole of his own creation.
But he didn't stop. He dug and scratched at the ground until he dug a hole so deep, he couldn't get out of it. By the time he realized just how deep he dug, it was already too late. The fool screamed on top of his lungs "Help! I'm stuck in a hole! Isn't there anyone who could help me?" The people just walked past, paying his pleas no mind. Some even stopped by the hole to spit at the fool from above. One person did approach the hole, without spitting at the fool. The fool looked up at the person, his eyes full of hope. "Please, help me get out of this hole. I can't do it by myself." The person who approached just smiled and shook their head. "Why should any of us help you? You dug this hole yourself." And then they walked away.
The fool died in that hole. Was it his fault?
The first time you give sentience to a lesser creature is always special.
My first time was with an elephant mosquito (Toxorhynchites).
It was an experiment. I breathed sentience into the creature, and watched it react. It was confused at first. It must've been the most complex experience this particular mosquito ever had. To recognize oneself, and then to recognize the one recognizing.
The ancients called it by many names. The Golden Core. The Philosopher's Stone. The Divine Spark. I call it the Rotten Center, because rot grows on foundation of progress, and this one starts at the core, and radiates outwards.
I observed the mosquito, and caught it in a transparent glass. And then I watched it slowly suffocate over the course of several hours. I never planned to let it live. It would be too cruel. Imagine being a sentient mosquito.
You can argue that I acted out of malice, but I would disagree. I acted out of curiosity, and then mercy. Letting it live would be cruel, and never giving it sentience would be ignorant. And I don't want to be either.
I know that I’ve forgotten something important. But I don’t remember what it is.
Have you ever been bitten by a dog? The dog usually bites down and starts trying to rip apart the flesh. Imagine that, but a mental equivalent. It’s gnawing at me, tearing my mind. I can’t focus on anything else. I remember other things I’ve forgotten, and I don’t even know if one of them is the one that keeps gnawing at me. I guess if the feeling doesn’t go away, it means I didn’t remember.
I’m just so tired. I feel like a man dying from thirst in the desert, too dehydrated to open up a water bottle laying right in front of his face. Too hungry to take a bite of food. Too deep to try and surface. But I’m drowning in a puddle. And the puddle is of my own creation. Either tears or piss, I can’t tell.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the King's men got a broken mirror.
And in the mirror it looked almost like Humpty was together again.
The moral of this story might give you some fright.
Even if it looks like it, two wrongs don't make a right.
I have captured the Bird of Equinox, and put it in a cage made of pear wood bound with human hair. It looked upon my visage with its singular eye, and pecked at me with its infinite beaks. I have named it Eostre, and the moment that name was given, the bird transformed into a hare. The hare laid an egg, and inside this egg was a brand new kind of world. A world of no gods. A world not for beast, but for man.
Eostre laid more eggs, and I broke all of them in order to make an omelet. An omelet not for beast, but for man. And as I finished making the omelet, I topped it with all the spices of the world I knew.
But as I was plating it, the omelet fell to the floor, and the dog ate it instead.
When a baby is born, it usually cries. But why does it cry? Is it out of shock of seeing the world for the first time? Is it out of happiness out of starting their life? Is it an instinctual reaction meant to help in taking the first breaths? Maybe. In my case, I cried of sadness.
From the moment of birth, I felt it. The crushing despair of what my existence will bring. And my mother cried too, as my horns shredded her insides when she birthed me.
As I grew, so did my horns. Over the years sadness and fear evolved into anger, then anger evolved into hate. I hated the world. I hated the people in it. And most of all, I hated myself. This has lead to something strange. With experience, I learned, and as I learned, my mind expanded. I learned to extract the hatred from myself. To purify and concentrate it into something new. A strange kind of love.
As I learned, experienced, and expanded my mind, I came to a conclusion. One of two things must be true. Either the world is terrible and broken, or I am. I never fit in anywhere. Not with the people. Only with freaks like me. The tailed, the horned, the hoofed, the broken and the unhinged. And I shared my love with them, for it was the only thing I had. And they shared their love with me, for it was the only thing they had.
As my mind matured, so did my body. My horns grew to their full size, my skin became hard and cracked, not unlike mud dried in the sand. But my insides, they did not harden. With time they only became softer. Like a banana being charred by flame from the outside while liquefying and boiling on the inside. By that time my love and my hate were equal in volume. The two essences mixed, until they became one. I was a cocoon full of hateful love and a loving kind of hatred. And what grew inside me filled even my twisted soul with dread.
As my body grew older, I began to feel an ache inside me. Not just a physical one, but something like an itching in the back of my brain. An itch that I could not scratch. An itch that drove me insane. It compelled me to go up. Up, towards the domain of my forefathers. Up towards the sky. Up until there was nowhere else to go. Up, up, up.
My skull split in the middle, and the itching finally subsided. And I cried, just as I cried out at the moment of my birth. But this time it was not out of sadness. It was out of glee. But even true happiness can come from something corrupted. I am a beautiful butterfly, with a fruiting body in the back of my head. I will fly high over the world, and spread my miraculous sickness to all.
The ugly truth is, the word "horned" is only one letter and an anagram away from "honored".
