Spyke
lemm.ee

I don't feel the need to post my life online... Continues to post personal story online

175
kbin.social

never felt like I needed to post my life for the whole world to see

As he posts a story from his life 🙄

Dude is so oblivious and arrogant. He barely knows her and is already judging, thankfully smart girl saw the signs and dodged a bullet. It's rare for greentext to have a happy ending.

30

damn bro, no need to get up in arms about it. Everybody judges everybody all the time, just a reality of life. She's judging him, he's judging her, I'm judging you right now, you're going to be judging me when you read this, and on it goes.

8
discuss.tchncs.de

emotionally well adjusted

No shot anyone who posts "I'm practicing gratitude today" is well adjusted lul

45

You might be right, but I'd still rather kill myself than play these weird games for a relationship. So far I've been doing ok without WhatsApp in the EU. If they can only talk to me via WA I'm just not talking to them. But then again, my circles are pretty "techy" so most people are OK with it.

14
irmozreply
reddthat.com

"Practicing gratitude" is unhinged 100% of the time, without exception.

6

I AM A NORMAL PERSON AND CAN BE TRUSTED WITH GUNS! I AM A NORMAL PERSON AND CAN BE TRUSTED WITH GUNS! I AM A NORMAL PERSON AND CAN BE TRUSTED WITH GUNS!

lol

1

You don't need to also fake post what others post. Just have an account, you don't need to ever post on it and if you do post you can keep it visible to friends only. I haven't posted anything on Facebook for years, but that account is the only way some friends and relatives can reach me (I moved abroad, so phone is not an option).

18
nyckireply
lemmy.world

This, for real. I'm autistic but I've learned to mask it by showing normies what they expect to see and it makes things so much easier. Remember, reception matters more than intention.

16
sh.itjust.works

NGL if you have a flip phone now, you're either a contract killer, a drug dealer and or a stage 5 weirdo.

69
ddkmanreply
lemm.ee

This is just judgemental and stupid. If you are easily distracted not using a smartphone outside business hours is hugely beneficial.

I use a lumia 550, but REALLY I would prefer an old school phone like the w800i, but a good k750/w800/k800 is rare and expensive at this point and pretty likely to fail. (I have 2g here). So the lumia it is.

19

I mean this depends on your viewpoint. Yes it is my off-hours daily. (I have to have a smartphone when working)

It can:

  • Call and text Edit: this IS a 4g device, and has support for VoLTE, so it has modern call quality. Most feature phones you can buy suck as phones.
  • Play a bunch of games
  • Has a pretty good MP3 player (also can connect to modern bluetooth devices (!!!!))
  • Has a camera of completely reasonable quality
  • It can display pictures, play videos, view all sorts of documents. (Ebooks .docs, xlsx-es, ppt-s)
  • Even the maps work (although who knows for how long)
  • Has microSD XC support

So it basically does what my w800i does, but in a way newer phone. In my view it does everything a modern device does, except for all the doomscrolly bits.

So yeah, if you need a weekend phone, picking up a lumia makes a whole lot of sense in my view.

2

Friend of mine bought her first smart phone about a year ago. She just didn't need any of the functions on a smartphone and was happier with her flip phone: pretty much infinite battery, near indestructible, does communicate just ok.

Only reason she bought a smart phone is to download some group chat clients. Since she broke up with her BF, we additionally had to write her on SMS. So she made it a bit easier for us.

17
Roscoreply
sh.itjust.works

I've seen doctors use them as work phone, like a modern pager.

8
spidermanreply
ani.social

they use it not to get distracted by work, anon isn't like that.

2

No, they use them because the battery lasts for ages and they're very reliable. They still have modern smartphones for personal use. And nothing wrong with that, the main use for a phone should be communicating with others, if Anon can get away with only SMS and regular calls, good for him.

9

I only bought a smartphone because I was getting into the HVAC field and I wanted to have access to the Internet to help with diagnostics, if it wasn't for that job I might still just have an old flip phone lol

1

loner, but not autistic or ugly so I get invited out pretty often

Oof. This hurt to read

61

A loner autist amish btard is pretty ugly, definitely on the inside, but his mom assures him he's not ugly on the outside. Mom is also the only girl who ever put her number in his flip phone, and she knew what she was doing.

-14
lemm.ee

I know this is likely fake, but I have gotten that reaction from people. Folks really find it strange when you don't have social media. The times it really sucks is when they think you're lying and just don't want to add them.

57

Honestly, this is my only "social media" (well, and LinkedIn, but i only use it when I'm looking for work), and I'm not sure it really counts since it's in no way tied to my Identity.

5

That's not what people are asking about when they ask for your socials. They are referring to the meta family if sites, snapchat, and maybe Twitter at some point.

3

Eh, I'm married and I legitimately don't have social media (only Lemmy, and I guess Linked In, which I never look at). I only add legitimate work contacts to LinkedIn, and I don't have my lemmy account connected in any way to my identity.

3
ChexMaxreply
lemmy.world

It's about safety for me. Going on a date with someone is such a gamble. If they have zero social media presence, that's outside of what's normal. Anything outside of normal social expectations is a safety red flag to me, because you immediately become less predictable to me. I don't want to be alone with someone I don't really know who is unpredictable. I'm just trying not to get murdered.

2
sh.itjust.works

Yeah I guess well socially adjusted people never turn out to be murderers, rapists or abusers of any kind /s

12
Facebonesreply
reddthat.com

I actually don't mind being a weirdo who doesn't get dates, but I don't understand why people keep falling for this hyper specific personality archetype that's got making girls swoon over them down to a science.

100% I have interests that probably don't align with yours, but at least I'm not lying to you until you're on the hook then calling you a bitch about it 🤷

3

No one has ever lied to me to get me on the hook and then called me anything about it. I don't know who the people are who fall for this, but it's not an issue in my circles.

Most of my exes have been weirdos, and I am a bit of a weirdo. It's still a red flag to have absolutely no social media presence, and it means I can't send links to your pages with screen shots of you to my sister before our date in case I get murdered.

-1

As someone whose only "social media" is Lemmy, I'd be 100% fine meeting in public places or with people you trust. But I'm not going to sell my personal information for a date.

11

I suppose. Handing over your entire life and information to a corporation and making most of it available to the world should be the larger red flag.

4
sh.itjust.works

you have xmpp? -no...

Matrix, Briar, SimpleX? -no

gotta have Email at least? ... ... no 🧐

53

I only know two women who use non-standard social apps, and both of them work in NGOs with good reason to not trust corps/government.

14

Being on 4chan a wayyy bigger red flag than using a flip phone most of the time.

48
lemmy.world

Her: "What's Lemmy?"

Me: "It's like if 500 nerds emulated the Reddit experience of 2011."

Her: (visibly drying)

94

"It's like if 500 nerds emulated the Reddit experience of 2011."

Now we just need Woody Harrelson in here talking about Rampart.

20
eviltoast.org

Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl.

Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.

7
lemm.ee

Of course, I imagine he pulled the phone out and opened it in one smooth motion.

40

In fairness, I've got a foldable flippy type phone and the number of conversations it starts is unreal. If I wasn't happily attached (and had more banter than the average housebrick) I'm sure it'd lead to some good chats and encounters.

As it stands though, it's just a nice talking point.

e: plus it's satisfying as fuck ending a call by closing the phone.

7

Years ago I had one that was spring-loaded so you'd press a little button on the side and it would pop open in one move. I really liked that phone. Don't remember what brand it was.

1

I am terminally online and even I don't want to engage with someone I know IRL through social media. We don't need to be on discord or Instagram or Reddit to talk 1 on 1. We can just fucking text. Like on the phone. No, I don't want to download Kik or whatsapp or any other random, sketchy app. We can text through the phone.

38
Firipureply
startrek.website

Fuck texting like a Neanderthal. Use a modern, and secure app to communicate. WhatsApp as a bottom of the barrel thing (99% of society outside of the US is on it, so it's the de facto standard) , signal or better if you can.

16
Pohlreply
lemmy.world

Nothing makes me smirk like the rest of the world bragging to Americans that they use Facebook to text. Yeah guys, you nailed it. Big win. We’re over here using standard protocols like rubes. I’m sure you get all kinds of security from that free app from Mr Zuckerberg. lol

33
feddit.it

I'm all for discrediting Facebook services for better alternatives, but Whatsapp employs End to End encryption by default, while SMS is readable from your ISP and anyone intercepting your conversation.

9
MeaanBeaanreply
lemmy.world

"Facebook Messenger offers end-to-end encryption, meaning chats between two users will be visible only on users’ phones and aren’t readable by Facebook or any government entity that makes a legal request to the company. But the option is available only to people using the Messenger app on mobile devices, and messages are encrypted only after users select the option to mark chats as “secret.”"

From their linked article.

It's insane to only have E2EE as an opt in feature.

6

When you send sms, you might as well be sending smoke signals. Not as if sms is secure in any modern sense of the word...

2

The object is not Facebook Messenger, which only uses E2EE with a specific hidden feature and is disabled by default.

1
Pohlreply
lemmy.world

Facebook makes money selling data for advertising. They don’t host and maintain what’s app for the good of mankind. every single thing you send on the app is being harvested for data and you know it. It is decrypted at each end and hovered up for sale to the highest bidder.

8
feddit.it

Facebook makes money mainly from advertising, yes, which can be done also on Whatsapp and will be in the future.

While they can still harvest some data from Whatsapp even if conversations are encrypted, my point was that they have no way to read the content of messages you send.

2

Think about what end to end encryption does. The client at one end encrypts the data for transmission after it has been typed. The client at the other end decrypts it for the other user to read. While the message cannot be viewed by anyone in between, it’s plain old data at both ends. If you can read the data, the software you are reading it on can also read the data.

Fb harvests all that data because they can. If you think E2EE is keeping their eyes off the data, you are mistaken. It keeps MY eyes of your data. It (in theory) keeps the government’s eyes off your data. For 100% privacy, you have to control the client software. You do not control the client software.

1

I don't use Facebook and neither should you. Whatsapp is their only decent product, probably because it was bought when it was already decent.

1

You guys use iMessage, a proprietary app from an other big tech company and use it to dismiss the other half of the population.

You guys aren't much better.

2
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Ahh yes, iphones, the only devices capable of SMS. /s I guarantee they're not an iphone owner. They used the word "protocol" and "rubes". Iphone owners don't know that non-imessage texting is called SMS.

7

No, but the only device capable of using iMessage and look down on people who don't.

0
shastaxcreply
lemm.ee

I really don't care about security of a conversation that goes like:

"hey wanna hang out on Sunday?"

"Sure, sounds fun, let's meet at xxx at yyy pm."

7

Signal is as good as you can get or better yet we revert back to the good old days> 1890s and start using telegrams or even better we revert back a further 2000 years and use fire flint and rock me and the homies dance round the fire

4

Yeah, I was just being conservative. Lemmy has a hard-on for open source and privacy. Didn't want to state "signal is best", because someone would "akshually" me :)

3
sh.itjust.works

But she needs to check for red flags if she doesn't want to become another rape/murder statistic.

-4
feddit.it

You are really equating someone who despises social media to a potential murderer.

9
tabreply
sh.itjust.works

I'd guess the point is rather that women tend to research their potential assailants/murderers/lovers before dates, which is easier to do for people that share their shit on social media.

7
Havaldreply
lemmy.world

Right, because murderers share their kills on social media? You can sort out some creeps but those can't hide it if you text with them for a few days either. I don't think you'd spot most murderers or rapists by looking through their social media.

6
WldFyrereply
lemm.ee

Well her vibe check was right about this guy, he uses 4chan, one of the worst possibly social medias lol

7
sh.itjust.works

Yeah, but id bet money that the dude is an untreated/undiagnosed autist, and they can be really fucken creepy. I know cause I was diagnosed with aspergers at fucking 2, when you have to mask constantly and look for social cues you start to notice the undiagnosed ones.

If youre curious how I noticed its cause they usually have stronger fixations and are usually a bit off with their body language.

0

If youre curious how I noticed its cause they usually have stronger fixations and are usually a bit off with their body language.

You mean they actually live their life without pretending to be something they are not? Not everyone who doesn't mask is undiagnosed, the opposite in fact. People get diagnosed, learn masking is bad, and stop doing it gradually.

I can't believe we have people on lemmy trying to encourage masking.

1
Crashumbcreply
lemmy.world

No, someone who refuses to use normal modes of communication, is sus.

I wouldn't trust someone who refuses to have a cellphone.

-4
Honytawkreply
lemmy.zip

Since when is SMS not a normal mode of communication?

2

Outside of the US? Last 15-20 years...

But it's starting to fade even in the US, among teenagers.

The anon failed to meet the expected social norms for environment he was in. The only difference between this and a guy getting turned down for any other reason is the Anon (and it seems many here) are all butthurt over it.

1
feddit.it

I don't understand why; I know a few women who don't have Instagram (crazy, right) and this simple fact made them interesting to me.

1
Crashumbcreply
lemmy.world

I mean good for you? Two outliers found something in common...

0
lemmy.world

Shes gonna think you're handing her a burner phone dude lmao

33

If someone pulls out a flip phone I'm just going to assume they're a drug dealer

16
sopuli.xyz

Ive missed out on job opportunities because i dont keep any socials. There have been a couple companies ive applied to that i got a callback from after the interviews where they basically said my lack of online presence was a red flag for them. Like wtf does it matter if i use facebook or linkden or whatever? I get that it helps them get a feel for the candidate before hiring them, but still...

27
endlesstalk.org

Funny thing is, some places love when people Dont have social media. I have had to go thrugh a lot of background checks for my jobs before and most of the time they are happy to hear that there is no social media for me to say dumb stuff on online.

19
Echo Dotreply
feddit.uk

It doesn't really count in the same way Reddit didn't count because it's not linked to a name so you can say all the dumb stuff you like no one's ever going to know it was you that said it.

5

I agree, you can say plenty of dumb stuff online on this particular social media site. That's what makes it fun!

1
Lorindólreply
sopuli.xyz

The obsession with social media is fucked up, in my opinion. All the AV- and IT-gear in my school were my responsibility for almost 20 years, I got nothing but praise from everyone. Keeping everything running smoothly was easy and I enjoyed it.

Then one day our principal added "social media presence" to the list of my duties. I asked what that meant. "Well, posting weekly on Instagram and Facebook so that the community can see what good work we do here!"

I resigned from the AV- and IT-duties at that moment. I have zero interest in touching those platforms and I consider posting pictures of students or their work online as a very bad idea.

The principal was visibly shocked by my reaction but could not deny the resignation of my duties, since everyone else had gotten to change their duty roles yearly. Now I take care of the woodshop class and materials, which is nice.

Two younger teachers took shared charge of the IT-duties. They have no idea how to handle any problems, nothing works anymore and people are pissed off, but now we have pictures on the Internet.

9
lemmy.dbzer0.com

If you don't like social media, why would you pretend to like social media to attract someone else who REALLY REALLY cares about social media? It's bound to fail.

26

It's college. Every girl doesn't need to be treated like a potential marriage.

Life doesn't need to be serious when you are young. That's a huge mistake I made.

9

It's not that these people actively care about social media or anything, it's just a regular part of life. I'm like OP here in the sense that I don't have any active social media attached to my name but I have some token pseudonymous social media accounts for exactly this reason. Being this obstinate about it is legitimately a huge red flag, and imo indicates that you've given up even more control of your life to social media, rather than understanding how to use it as a tool for a set of narrowly defined tasks.

5
lemmy.world

Hey I want to look at 4chan stuff like this but not get flashed with porn, any tips?

23
CannedTunareply
sh.itjust.works

Stick to communities like this that screencap the good bits so you don’t have to sort through the crap.

56
sh.itjust.works

4chan is being actively bombed with interracial/trans porn in an effort to make it less palatable to rightoids. It really just makes it less useful and interesting for everyone but don't bother telling the spammers that, they're on a mission from the secular god known as hormone pills.

-11

In my experience, people tend to drift towards whatever is the most taboo for their personal moral framework. I guarantee for people frequenting 4chan, that is trans porn. There is no other way. I could safely bet money in the triple digits.

8
lemmy.world

Lemmy is it for me. Oh and a discord server with my gaming buddies. The rest of it just feels pretty gross.

21
feddit.it

Discord is gross. But it's hard to convince everyone to follow you on better alternatives.

8
Maestroreply
kbin.social

What better alternatives? As shitty as Discord is for replacing forums, there is no better way to voice chat and stream.

4

Mumble is best for voice cgat. It can suppress noise so hard you can't hear the vacuum in the background while talking. No idea about alternatives to streaming though.

2
lemmy.world

This is why I keep a Bare-bones instagram account,despite not using social media.

20

If someone mods that to put in a small form factor phone with a lcd and 3.5mm jack for call functionality Id buy that for 100 bucks

2

When I met my wife in high-school, not having a phone at all (like not even a landline in the house) was not uncommon. Her family had a cellphone in the house to use as a replacement for a landline and my dad put a password on our phone for outgoing calls (me spending hours on the phone with her might have been part of the reason for that). So I had to buy a pre-paid card and use a payphone to talk to her. I can't believe that less than 5 years later we all had internet and personal cellphones.

5
lemmy.world

Folks wanna know what they're getting into. Your social media feeds are an easy indicator. Your twitter all retweets of Andrew Tate? Facebook filled with pics of you dressed up like a leather dog? Truth social? Concerning for many women.

15

qt phonetically sounds as cutie.

Greek letter pi is 3.14 in mathematics.

Putting them together we get...

2
BOMBSreply
lemmy.world

Can you imagine?? She uses Lemmy, Linux, and a VPN 🥰

6

Ah, another excuse I can add to my pile of excuses I tell myself about why I don't try to date.

No social media.

10
and
sh.itjust.works

anon should’ve pulled out his Lemma and asked for her username (not that you can follow anyone here afaik) he would’ve smashed that instant

9
lseifreply
sopuli.xyz

erm, a username alone is not very helpful, so unless he asked for her home instance as well, i-

6

"what do you mean your instance defederated!!? freedom of speech means you gotta listen to everything i say!!!!"

1
activ8rreply
sh.itjust.works

This has happened to me. Though with the opposite vibe. I was the one who was disturbed by the insistence on using social media instead of just giving me his number. So I left.

19

I have run into this on tinder. I was hesitant to give out my number at first, and Snapchat made it very convenient to date around. I think people kind of knew what's up, but who is expecting exclusivity out of the gate on tinder?

2

I got unmatched on Tinder and called a psycho for not having socials. Checks out.

2

Or get Signal/Telegram.

Anything that's not owned and being excessively monitored tracked and targeted by Meta. Yes it's end-to-end encrypted, but there's no rules about what happens once things are decrypted at each end.

3
lemm.ee

She proably saved his life. If she said she's 14, she's probably 12. Girls always lie about their age at that age. My ex-wife was still pining for a dude she dated when she was 15; he was 24 at the time. When we met in HS she was 16 and I was 18. She said she was 17 (her birthday was 3 months away), but a lie is a lie.

-4
lemmy.world

qt3.14 = qt (pi) = cutiepie

OP is a nerd, not a pedophile. At least not based on this.

15
lemmy.zip

Well the most impartant thing is you recognised your mistake instead of starting a 50 comment long argument...

4
sh.itjust.works

Wait, am I the only one disturbed by the "be 19" and the "meet a cutie 14 girl"?

I mean none of these are ever true but it still feels bleeh to read!

-14
Crashumbcreply
lemmy.world

Wait this guy refuses social media, but types in teen trash code?

-1
lemmy.world

I Googled qt3.14 and its dated to 2004. So teens who used it when it was trendy are 34 now.

You know you are old when 20 year old slang is "teen trash code".

5

Huh, I was a teen back then and nobody used that, at least none of my male friends. We just said hot, maybe qt, but certainly didn't put put 3.14 anywhere.

2
lemmy.world

While like others have said this is probably fake.

That said, there is a middle ground. Any one refusing to use ANY social media probably has issues...

Those acting like this is normal, would give someone who refuses to have a cell phone weird looks or what about any phone at all?

For people refusing to use LinkedIn (or similar), that's the same as refusing to have a resume pre Internet

Don't expect society to bend to you, you're NOT special.

-26
gmtomreply
lemmy.world

This is beyond a shitty take, especially that bit about LinkedIn. LinkedIn might actually be the most worst social media for how pretentious it is and quite frankly I've had a very successful career without ever using it. Maybe because I'm not a wannabe CEO/ life guru tech bro?

15