Use the sausage method. Take a condom, place it around the extruder, make sure to get a good seal, and let it go. Every so often pinch and twist for the links. That way you can go laying down
Edit: Pro-tip, place your bed near the window for easy clean-up
Sounds like you need more high-quality fiber in your diet.
My recommendation for anyone that is having poo problems is muesli.
You can usually get it in the bulk goods aisle of your local store, assuming that the store has that. At my local winco, they sell it for about two dollars a pound.
You dump about a cup or two into a bowl, fill that bowl with milk. It's okay if you use a plant substitute, then top it with some plain yogurt and some berries and a little bit of sugar or honey or maple syrup.
Stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours or overnight.
And enjoy, it's just a little parfait with some granola, it's not a big deal.
But I promise you, two or three days of eating that, you will have the easiest poop of your entire life. That combo will clear out stuff that's been sitting in your colon since high school.
Also, the body doesn't stop sucking water from poop so one needs to make sure the bowel movements don't have too many hours in between else all that fiber will turn to stone and cause haemorrhoids due to evential strains
For someone changing diets, this might not be obvious
Have you tried yoga?
What about kale? Chia seeds? Vindaloo?
Not getting older, have you tried that one? I got the best results by telling my cells to stop aging.
Seriously though chia seeds are fucking magic.
36 replies
Something's in my a**
(Invidious link)
You need to repent and let kale into your life
Here I sit all broken hearted
Had to shit but only farted.
You're describing what it feels like the last couple hours when preparing for a colonoscopy.
Use the sausage method. Take a condom, place it around the extruder, make sure to get a good seal, and let it go. Every so often pinch and twist for the links. That way you can go laying down
Edit: Pro-tip, place your bed near the window for easy clean-up
Condom? Why reinvent the sausage when they already have the perfect sausage making device: the Diaper Genie.
It would have cost you nothing not to say that.
You're absolutely right. It's so easy to help folks out being kind costs nothing either. I'm glad you apriciate my advice
You’re the one who read “sausage method” and couldn’t resist.
And that’s a shame I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.
What a horrible day to be literate
Thank you.
Sounds like you need more high-quality fiber in your diet.
My recommendation for anyone that is having poo problems is muesli.
You can usually get it in the bulk goods aisle of your local store, assuming that the store has that. At my local winco, they sell it for about two dollars a pound.
You dump about a cup or two into a bowl, fill that bowl with milk. It's okay if you use a plant substitute, then top it with some plain yogurt and some berries and a little bit of sugar or honey or maple syrup.
Stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours or overnight.
And enjoy, it's just a little parfait with some granola, it's not a big deal.
But I promise you, two or three days of eating that, you will have the easiest poop of your entire life. That combo will clear out stuff that's been sitting in your colon since high school.
Also, the body doesn't stop sucking water from poop so one needs to make sure the bowel movements don't have too many hours in between else all that fiber will turn to stone and cause haemorrhoids due to evential strains
For someone changing diets, this might not be obvious
Water, lots of water
Good lord how I miss Winco
Also, make them feel like it's a massive shit and end being a tiny nugget.
Sorry to hear bruh.
Be careful not to strain, or part two will be hemorrhoid boogaloo.
But that's half the fun
Decent post, great username
This was me and I turned out to have celiac.
Yes, but for me it was lactose
Jack in the Box breakfast burrito for me.
Whatever last years recalls were that landed me in the hospital and then the lettuce thing for me.
Hi fellow celiac!
Finally a decent shit post
weird, you were just talking about how great your diet is.
All meat none of that pussy fiber shit.
Have you tried yoga?
What about kale? Chia seeds? Vindaloo?
Not getting older, have you tried that one? I got the best results by telling my cells to stop aging. Seriously though chia seeds are fucking magic.
Might not be poo cramps, might just be gas troubles. 🤷♂️
¿Por qué no ambos?
You know that's not the quote
Tijuana Donkey Show 50.0666932N, 121.5433053W https://mapy.com/s/balesenora ?
Get a Japanese floor toilet, then you can do both.
Check out the side effects of colchine. Fun times!
Violet!?