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feddit.uk

Ketamine addict Elon Musk believes puppets are attacking him

Every accusation is a confession.

12
lemmy.world

How can someone be such a loser. Like, willingly. Who's to blame here - not bad parenting or childhood trauma - just a loser by choice

20

His dad somehow manages to be an objectively worse person. He married his step daughter who he'd raised since she was 6 years old, and brags about shooting and killing black men in South Africa.

Don't get me wrong, fuck Elon, but I imagine he did experience bad parenting.

10
lemmy.world

Hey look its school shooter edition Elon.

Did you know he was a bully in school? He claims he was bullied but his dad set the record straight. Elon was once pushed down a flight of stairs at school. Elons dad went to the hospital to find Elon crying and demanding his dad to get the kid who pushed him arrested. His dad goes and talks with the principal, police, the students and finds out that Elon had instigated the incident.

Turns out Elon had been bullying this student over the death of his father a few days earlier and he had been such a ruthless prick the kid snapped and pushed Elon down a flight of stairs. No one of authority felt it was fair to punish the kid since Elon had been a major twat and basically earned himself the injuries. Instead he switched Elon to another school.

What a pathological freak of nature.

31

If he'd kept elon there the future problem may have taken care of itself

3
iuminoureply
lemmy.dbzer0.com

why does he look like a transfem c programmer but with no fashion sense

45

I bet he couldn't write hello world in C even with the help of Claude, an Indian education youtuber and someone with a four-letter nickname on the Linux mailing list.

25

That man hasn't had an honest human interaction for 30 years

14

This tells me elon has many employees he considers puppets. These puppets are used by him to trash others as a third party. He doesn't think anyone would say anything bad about him unless someone else was paying them.

15
lemmy.world

The bill WILL come due for him. My bet is he flees back to South Africa, where he will be captured and beaten to death. Get it on Kalshi I'll throw $5 on it lol.

19

Captured by who? Plenty of white supremacist there who will kiss the ground he walks on. Fucker will probably make New Rhodesia with an army of racist Afrikaners and English South Africans.

2
lemmy.world

He can't hide on earth and his daydream of fleeing to Mars is impossible. Odds are humanity will find a way to snatch him. What his captures end up doing to him is anyones guess. If I were him I'd be begging for the accountability and humility of the US federal prison system.

4
lemmy.world

All of these billionaire oligarchs have put hundreds of millions into lavish underground and offshore survival bunkers; they are fully prepared to hide themselves away from the consequences of their greed and ambition.

3

With only one thermal exhaust port. Would be a shame if someone were to do something to it.

3

Stupidity beyond belief in a world with destabilising weather that's gonna flood

1
fedia.io

I wish he'd die by the sword already. Or any other instrument, really.

108
lemmy.world

I want the HGH he's taking to finally pop the organs in his chest.

16
slrpnk.net

Bromo Dragonfly overdose gets my vote.

See nothing but unspeakable horrors for months (see: Beksinski paintings) and then watch your arms and legs fall off in real life because it's a powerful vasoconstrictor.

6

Some agencies got VERY good at designing chemicals to torture people, to the point where they got so good at it that they ran out of test subjects because all of them started dying/suffered from drug induced psychosis months if not years later

One of their milder products;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EA-3167

Incapacitating effects can last anywhere from 5-10 days, sometimes manifesting as a full 3-day peak of vivid hallucinations, along with prolonged confusion, amnesia, and inhibition of speech and cognition. Some subjects exposed to the drug would not fully recover for almost 20 days. Even six months after exposure, a few subjects demonstrated significant increases in the scores on the hypochondriasis, depression, hysteria, psychasthenia, schizophrenia, and mania scales. The drug's potency caught the attention of the military, which considered weaponizing EA-3167 for topical use, potentially even through a handshake.

4

Oh hey that one is legal, someone just needs to convince him that the kool kids are all doing it so he can join the klub

1
AppleTeareply
lemmy.zip

botched penis surgery

rumor has it he's already given himself erectile dysfunction with one already

5

Something mental was going on from the start. The only kid Elon has ever had the old fashion way was his first born with his ex-wife. That child did of SIDS (allegedly, wouldn't surprise me if Elon smothered it to death) and every kid he has after has been a test-tube baby. My guess is he has always been small and not a grower or a shower.

Oh, and that first son her had that died... Elon lied about holding him in his arms as he died. His ex-wife clarified that Elon wasn't around when the child died, who died in her arms. He also berated her for mourning the death of her first born child, you know, like an ordinary human being with emotions and compassion would do.

What kind of sick monster lies about their own childs death for sympathy like that? Elon Musk, of course. This is why I trust 0% of the words that come out of his mouth.

8

Unsurprising. Whenever a guy spends this much of his energy screwing with people I start to wonder if he's got dick problems.

7

Too late, my taxpayer money is being used to send up our astronauts.

12
DrSoapreply
lemmy.world

Ya everyone should just block him and take away his voice.

5

You promised investors self-driving cars. You sold thousands of cars to customers while advertising self-driving cars. None of the cars are self-driving. You should be in prison for fraud.

30

If nothing else, the SEC should have stomped him a new mudhole by now for in-your-face stock manipulation.

6

I just saw a Tesla turning in front of me today that was literally stretching, arms up and head back, while the car was turning.

I think it goes beyond fraud, he sold them on an idea that's actively making the roads more dangerous.

2
lemmy.zip

Let's be real here. Elon Musk would find plenty of reasons to come at any puppet show.

(Because they are attended by children. The insinuation is that he is a pedophile, you see).

51

It is definitely some kind of code for sex. Epstein used code words a bunch in his files. He also set up Kimbal Musk, Elon's brother and business partner, with "girlfriends" on multiple occasions.

3
lemmy.ca

As a puppet slowly approached him he held his arm up to the heavens and shouted "Sieg Heil!".

13

Off in the distance, nearly inaudible but coming ever closer...

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights

4

Dudes going to taste all chemically and the meat will be stringy. Now he's perfectly fine for beheading and placing the head on a spike to display as the vultures pick the rotting flesh from the skull. Heck, thats an environmentally friendly way of disposing of billionaires.

5
lemmy.world

"Live by the sword, die by the sword."

Spoken by the coward that tucked his tail between his legs and ran away from Zuckerberg's challenge to a charity fight.

7
lemmy.world

That sounds like a credible threat of violence on Musks’s part. Deport

40

Damn right

I'm sick and tired of all these foreigners coming to my country, taking my tax dollars and using them on their vanity projects like flying cars and on top of it they threaten me with violence. ICE, arrest that man.

24

In early 1996, their startup, an early online city guide and mapping tool, got a $3 million infusion from venture capitalists. The investors soon found themselves surprised, according to Kimbal Musk’s account captured in a video of the 2013 event posted on the Milken Institute’s YouTube page.

“When they did fund us,” Kimbal Musk recalled, “they realized that we were illegal immigrants.”

“Well…” Elon Musk interjected.

“Yes, we were,” Kimbal Musk pushed back.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/29/us/elon-musk-immigration-gray-area-cec/index.html

16

There's no evidence he's addicted to ketamine, please stop spreading these rumours, they are hurting the reputation of drug addicts.

30
lemmy.world

Are you kidding? The puppets would kick Elon's ass easily. They are much stronger than him.

28
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Hello puppet seller. I am going into twitter battle, and I want your strongest puppets.

24
lemmy.world

Make sure you buy puppets rated for fighting an adult man-child born to nazi-apartheid-loving parents.

8
lemmy.world

I heard that his dick is all messed up from a failed enlargement surgery. Its believable because apparently Grimes said it to a friend of hers. Its also believable because Elon has definitely had cosmetic surgery, hair transplants, etc so I can totally see him trying to enlarge his dick and it failing (which isn't uncommon with such procedures.)

8
obvsreply
lemmy.world

You think he's get his weight taken care of.

Dear Lord, to have a trillion dollars, and to still look like Jabba the Hutt?

5

Probably, Elon doesn't strike me as a "real change comes from the inside and takes years of hard work and self-reflection" type of guy.

10

His weird torso shape is almost certainly a combo of him taking a mix of test and high coupled with semi regular liposuction.

Liposuction removes the fat cells whereas losing weight normally just empties them. By removing them you discourage the body from growing them there again as it takes signifcant effort for the body to regrow them. This leads to weird fat distribution.

His total lack of application for diet and weight training means his roid intake doesn't go where its meant to. Roids just don't work without signifcant effort, sure those massive meatheads use roids but they also work fucking hard to get massive

5
lemmy.zip

Has there ever existed a more pathetic person?

24
lemmy.world

Helen Keller once said, "the most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but no vision," so by her expert opinion I'd say no, Elon is the most pathetic person ever.

19
Malicareply
lemmy.zip

His vision best represented by the Cybertruck.

11
lemmy.world

Awkward, dangerous, parts fly off of it and maim innocent by-standers, no one wants one, can't haul anything heavy without breaking, not easy to escape from, might burn you to death.

12

The scariest part for me is that it's literally a giant kitchen knife on wheels. God help whatever it hits, deer or human.

8

I mean, it really seems like there are a total of two people in contention at this point.

11

It really is a dead tie between him and Trump. At least as far as my own lifetime and knowledge of the past go. And I'm not joking. I honestly believe they are the two most pathetic humans in recorded human history. Taking into account being born on 3rd base (to say the least), access to resources, influence, and how they behave regardless of those advantages. Yeah, just utterly pathetic on a level beyond what I would normally consider pathetic. We almost need a new word to describe it.

2
lemmy.world

By that logic everyone is a puppet for someone else. If you work for someone you are their puppet, either the boss or the costumer. Politicians should be the puppets of the people they represent, we know they are actually beholden to corporations more often but in theory they are always a puppet. Elon is a puppet to his investors. But comparing everything in such childish, simplified ways is lame because is shows you have a very limited understands of human beings and of how the world works and instead rely on black and white thinking like a junior high student.

2

I'm mostly mad at Hochul for gutting the right to repair bill on her own and then signing the bill she changed without consulting the rest of new York government. She was puppeted by corpos here. I'm not a both sides guy, Republicans are worse, by a lot. I just so happen to be independently upset at some Democrats for being puppeted.

2

I think the term puppet is used here to highlight the very clandestine nature of who exactly is behind the puppets that make up the Democratic party, i.e. Israel and the corporations that use the military-industrial complex to keep it going

You could look at context instead of being condescending

3

Yes, Democrats are also obviously controlled by big money. They could even be the same big money as the Republicans, who are just using both sides to divide the working class to distract from how much they are exploiting us.

1
fedia.io

That's not what Jesus meant, you dummy genius.

20

He was setting up the ending, where he - a carpenter - dies by being nailed to a piece of wood.

9
lemmy.zip

I knew a guy who comes for puppets. He got a lap dance from Elmo once.

17
lemmy.world

Elon Musk does look like a puppet when he flails around on stage during campaigns

12

Both explanations I've heard are pathetic.

  1. His 5 year old son hit him (maybe trying to stop him from molesting him?)
  2. Stephen Miller hit him because Elon banged his wife

Both explanations are pretty bad.

3

Whose Jiu Jitsu is stronger? Elon Musk vs Jonah Hill

Probably would be a lot of high-pitch screeching in that match.

12

Lets be realistic. It would be a slap fight with both of them bawling.

7
lemmy.world

Elon Musk has trained in Jiu Jitsu and is cringy and insecure as fuck.

Jonah Hill has trained in Jiu Jitsu and is cringy and insecure as fuck.

Who will survive?

Finally a cage match I'm willing to pay to watch.

14
leminal.space

Ooh ooh!!!

Can we have it moderated bu current day Steven Seagal? That shit would be hilarious.

5

Steven Seagal is too out of shape to do anything strenuous like standing upright for long periods of time.

2
eestileibreply
sh.itjust.works

I fully believe Jonah Hill could hospitalize me in seconds.

I do not believe that about Musk. At all.

5
lemmy.world

Both are nepo babies. Jonah Hill Feldstein is the son of a movie studio producer. But yeah, I do suspect he could crush Elon if they ever fought. Which is why we, the internet, need to instigate a fight between them.

2
eestileibreply
sh.itjust.works

Not sure why you bolded Feldstein, am I supposed to recognize that name?

Maybe Jonah Hill/Mark Zuckerberg would be a closer match, and we would all be winners with that one.

Musk in an opening bout, maybe against Jeff Bezos?

1
lemmy.world

Johan Hill was born Jonah Hill Feldstein, he changed his name to remove that last part because his dad is a famous and powerful studio exec. He was trying to hide his nepo baby status.

1

I've never seen a movie with him in it so I can't judge his level of talent. 🤷🏻

I think it is a good choice as a stage name.

I'm perfectly willing to believe he's also an insecure jerk with a chip on his shoulder, that's kind of table stakes for comedians. I couldn't believe how much of an asshole Conan O'Brien was in his documentary.

1

If there are any Gepettos or even Strombolis, just realize the sword of Damocles cuts both ways…

6
lemmy.ca

What a pathetic limp dicked dipshit. lol.

8
lemmy.today

speaking of limp dick, his "surgeon" botched his penis implant , so he has to come in a cup to impregnate his concubines, to produce the 14+children he has, except vivien though.

2

Assuming that's true :

Tbf I think I'd go off the rails if I had that happen to me. You have enough money and influence to shape reality to your will. Of course "have a magnificent cock" is on the list. To have it turned into a useless freakshow would be devastating.

3
lemmy.world

Careful now. Elon rubbed his weewee against the leg of a flight attendant he hired (then required to get massaging lessons without actually paying her for taking the lessons) only to have his totally fair offer of buying her a horse in exchange for a happy ending be turned down. I guess he misinterpreted her talking to him as flirting. Probably made the mistake of using the word "come" in a sentence and Elon took it as a sign to wipe his dick out on her. True story.

11

Thing is Elon's always under-estimates his timelines so it stands to reason he'll under-estimate the puppet masters strength so Elon is likely to be crushed like a mosquito.

7

Last year some reporter asked him how he'd been doing and the dude was like "well, at least I didn't get shoot."

I guess so Tesla employee tried to hunt him down but got caught. Must be a really awful employer to work for.

1

I don't know of he can cry anymore what with all the cosmetic surgery he's had. Fucks up the tear ducts.

5

Musk is just saying he will come after the lobbyists and large donors of his political critics.

5
lemmy.world

Remember the time Elon got pushed down a flight of stairs at school by another student because Elon had been ruthlessly mocking the kid about his dad dying a few days earlier and when Elon insisted that the kid be punished everyone of authority agreed Elon had basically earned it for being such a compassionless prick? I remember. And I talk about it whenever Elon is mentioned so others can learn about how long he's been a freak for.

2
lemmy.world

I have never heard of this, Jesus what a... I don't think English has a word for the type of prick Elon is.

2
lemmy.world

Why would Democrats go after Musk instead of Republicans? I'm trying to figure out what their motivation is.

All I can think of is that perhaps they have deep pocket donors that want to stick a thumb in Musk's eye, but what can they do? He's not an elected official, he doesn't owe the USA any fealty. Even if they catch him on something like lying under oath, they wouldn't be able to imprison him (he has three citizenships and can just stay out of the USA worst case scenario)

There's fuckery about.

Democrats should go after Republicans, in my opinion. But, just like when Biden was in office, they will do nothing.

-1

Presumably to stanch the flow of money to Republican coffers. Attacking supply lines is always a viable tactic- especially one so big as Musk is.

6

Elon has donated hundreds of millions to republican elections. Elon is also definitely committing various forms of fraud against investors, manipulation of the stock market and is probably much deeper into Jeffrey Epstein than we are currently being told. Oh and the whole DOGE thing. All of that kind of pisses normal people off.

2