For the first forty years of my life, I could not understand people (including my mom) who disliked overhead lighting. Now, I would way rather fumble in the dark than have that stuff glaring at me (grudging exception if I am using a knife in the kitchen). It's become a minor source of friction with my husband. I don't understand what changed.
The most satisfactory setup seems to be great indirect and task lighting that is just as easy to turn on and off as the overhead. Requires lighting purchases and maybe installation, and maybe "smart" switches if there aren't switched outlets or other readily accessible places for the controls, which is a barrier. As an intermediate step, a different colored (warmer white) and less bright bulb in the overhead can make it more tolerable.
Needs a ghetto cricket too. If you don’t have one you can make one. Go get a smoke alarm and find the shittiest battery that powers it just enough to chirp
AROO, BROTHER, GET A MF'IN HOG IN THERE. CRANK THAT MF'ER ANY TIME A BROTHER STARTS THINKING UR FEMININE (not that there's anything wrong with expressing femininity).
I saw one yesterday where the person didn't use a pillow case and the spots on their pillow and bed where they presumably lay were browned. Is that normal?
Exactly. This person has/needs a full or queen sized bed, but their bedroom isn't big enough for it. So, it's blocking the closet, because that's the only place it can go.
Only girls have giant skulls in their bedrooms. STFU!!
And what's with all that black & red? Are you a sissy or something?
Real, manly men have daisies & paisley with pastel walls. MAN UP BITCH!!!
toss everything but the cat and the skull. everything you think of adding to the space, ask yourself 'is this in service of the skull? is this in service of the cat?'
if neither, don't add it. rinse & repeat until it looks like a Spirit Halloween to address the emptiness of the space (but know now, it won't fix the emptiness of your soul)
You need a ceiling fan made out of swords. Nothing is as manly as living under literal spinning death, and the motion will draw onlookers' attention away from the void.
Replace the white closet frame and doors with natural wood. Get rid of that skull. Replace it with a taxidermy black bear. Hang a sword above the closet doors. A really goofy looking one from the mall. Unmake the bed. Throw some Cheetos on the floor.
The way you decrease both the emptiness and femininity of this space is to get rid of all the retail mall goth shit, rev up the table saw and make some actual furniture.
If you're committed to the black and red aesthetic go with ebonized white oak and glazed black cherry. I'd lean toward the American Craftsman/Mission style, stylish within practicality and built to last, and most importantly would look absolutely stupid in distressed chalk paint.
There's a stereotype that men don't understand bed frames, somebody already in this comment section has posted a bare air mattress on the floor. The other extreme is the fuckateria table on display in the original post. Looks like a futon mat on plywood? Go to a mattress store and buy something that isn't marked down. As for a bed frame, simplicity is the order of the day. No footboard, if you go with a headboard make it functional. Should be low enough to sit down on, a bed you climb up on is college kid shit.
A taller dresser is more masculine, compared to a woman's dressing table.
A simple rocking chair is surprisingly useful, serves as a dressing rack.
You'll probably want three levels of lighting, mood lighting, reading lighting and cleaning lighting. Built-in overhead lights will serve as the latter.
Avoid any urge to set dress. This isn't a film set, you don't have to intentionally clutter tabletops and shelves with shit. Live a life and things to put there will happen to you. For the love of fuck don't decorate with books you want people to think you read.
In my experience, a woman's living space is either more cluttered than a man's because she's got 5.37*10^9 bottles in the shower, piles of laundry made of a larger number of smaller garments, and 900 pillows, OR she lives in a film set where nothing can be moved, touched or used. You don't dry your hands on the towels on the towel rack, those are for decoration, if you need to dry your hands go down to the laundry room, open the towel bin, take out a towel, dry your hands, wash-rinse-sanitize-dry-iron-fold and put away the towel, then go about your day.
Man tidy is "blanket's on the bed, laundry's either put away or in the hamper, the carpet has been vacuumed at some point in the last month, and none of the cologne/deodorant bottles on the dresser are empty."
Underglow will always have a 2 Fast 2 Furious vibe for me, like that bed has a big amp and subwoofer in the back with no capacitor so it'll stall the engine if the volume is turned up too high, a muffler delete and a spoiler even though it's front wheel drive.
I can’t be the only one who thought this was a woman/femme-leaning OP who wants to make the space more accommodating for their male/masc-leaning partner?
105 replies
Bed frames are feminine, put that mattress on the floor. While your at it, get rid of the sheets, bare mattress it up.
Lighting is too fancy, fancy is feminine. Plain flickering bulb is what you want for ambiance.
How did you get a picture of my 1st apartment bedroom?
Flock camera.
Chandelier is a bit feminine
Women hate overhead lighting. We decided at the meeting.
This is a hell of a way to discover I'm a women
For the first forty years of my life, I could not understand people (including my mom) who disliked overhead lighting. Now, I would way rather fumble in the dark than have that stuff glaring at me (grudging exception if I am using a knife in the kitchen). It's become a minor source of friction with my husband. I don't understand what changed.
How can I make my wife hate overhead lighting?
I hate it more than sand
The most satisfactory setup seems to be great indirect and task lighting that is just as easy to turn on and off as the overhead. Requires lighting purchases and maybe installation, and maybe "smart" switches if there aren't switched outlets or other readily accessible places for the controls, which is a barrier. As an intermediate step, a different colored (warmer white) and less bright bulb in the overhead can make it more tolerable.
I fully believe that; almost all of the women in my family vastly prefer table lamps. I inherited all 19 of my grandmother's.
sorry, those are my cursed glass daggers of illumination.
Oh, my mistake, very metal, not feminine.
you may not like it, but this is what peak male interior design performance looks like
this but unironically
I'm picky. I need a fluffy blanket and a comforter on the air mattress to be fully comfy.
You may not like it, but this is what building wealth and saving for early retirement looks like.
That's a true king's bedroom
You want a bulb? Real men stub their toes in the dark.
Psssshhhh!!!! I stub my toe in the daylight! I stub my toe when there isn't even anything TO stub your toe on!
I'm just clumsy.
I think if it is that terrible bright white kind of bulb, it will be ok. 😉
8500K temp and CRI of 'no' - sounds right.
Chat: I added some CTB jells but I think there are some stray violet frequencies getting through.
I don’t understand the bed frame. Is it a 2 inch mattress on a platform frame? You’re going to bang your shin on that so hard.
Also, the bed is blocking the closet doors because, I’m assuming.. closets are for ladies?
Semicolon my dude
Semicolons are feminine
You joke, but that was my setup for years
I bet you're manly as fuck
Edit: also, what's heroine like?
Heroine? Like a female superhero? I uh.....I dunno man. We've already established that I am very manly.
Then again, Wonder Woman would be a heroine, and she's probably more manly that emo ass Batman!
Waaaah!!!! Waaaah!!!! My parents died!
Both of Spidermans parents died. And his uncle ben. And you don't see him being a little emo pussy.
Well, except in Spiderman 3. But we don't talk about that one.
I'll have you know, I hate your take on Batman
It's accurate, but I'm still mad about it
That was my place in Florida. I think I even had the audacity to bring a girl there. IIRC we ended up back at her place.
Needs a ghetto cricket too. If you don’t have one you can make one. Go get a smoke alarm and find the shittiest battery that powers it just enough to chirp
Perfect for zoom meetings
YOU'RE*
How is it so hard to get right?
Spellibg, grammar and literacy are feminine
Just get one queen size.
McQueen size
Why is he Asian?
Made in china
Less empty = more thing
less fem = man thing
The obvious conclusion here, is a room brimming with dildos
Nothing manlier than being gay? HMMMMMM
I know several gay people WAY manlier than i. Myself being a cis hetro male.
Add some dildos to the place. Nothing is more manly than thick, juicy dicks. It's sure to be a conversation-starter, too!
"I didn't know you could harvest cucumbers indoors!"
What this guy needs is obviously a second giant skull.
Yes, but also many more skulls of all sizes, just strewn around the place, he'll also need more shelves and things to put all the new skulls on them.
Skulls for the skull bed!
AROO, BROTHER, GET A MF'IN HOG IN THERE. CRANK THAT MF'ER ANY TIME A BROTHER STARTS THINKING UR FEMININE (not that there's anything wrong with expressing femininity).
obviously a joke. but it's great to see a normal living space on the internet even though it's abnormal in style.
everywhere i go online i see these pristine hotel or beverly hills living spaces behind the subject of the photo.
real people have clutter and lack 5k an hour interior designers!
I saw one yesterday where the person didn't use a pillow case and the spots on their pillow and bed where they presumably lay were browned. Is that normal?
Exactly. This person has/needs a full or queen sized bed, but their bedroom isn't big enough for it. So, it's blocking the closet, because that's the only place it can go.
Only girls have giant skulls in their bedrooms. STFU!! And what's with all that black & red? Are you a sissy or something? Real, manly men have daisies & paisley with pastel walls. MAN UP BITCH!!!
I honestly thought this was a girls room and I thought the text was trying to be edgy.
waifu pillow and film replica swords mounted to the wall
Well obviously you get rid of the skull. That skull could be male or female. 50/50 removing it decreases femininity of the room.
That just feels like some DnD
Is this idiot put the bed against the cupboard so he can't get access?
Who needs closets when you only have one goth outfit?
Extreme manliness demands sacrifices
yes he was
Dracula needs no cupboard.
Headboard
toss everything but the cat and the skull. everything you think of adding to the space, ask yourself 'is this in service of the skull? is this in service of the cat?'
if neither, don't add it. rinse & repeat until it looks like a Spirit Halloween to address the emptiness of the space (but know now, it won't fix the emptiness of your soul)
Agreed. Cat and skull are doing all the heavy lifting here.
Well this guy is definitely trying hard to keep his closet closed, figuratively and physically
Giant moose bust
you have awakened something bad in me
You need a ceiling fan made out of swords. Nothing is as manly as living under literal spinning death, and the motion will draw onlookers' attention away from the void.
Like swords over Damocles
Add some dirty dishes on the floor. A bowl of spaghetti and an empty can of beer is a easy and masculine touch you can use
Obviously needs more skulls
Put a pentagram above the bed and it's done.
I feel like that's getting back to feminine witchy territory.
Okay fine, put a big masculine poster of a muscled up Satan with hot abs and cum gutters and pretend that's straight.
Maybe some dumb bells in the corner.
Now you are talking
Replace the white closet frame and doors with natural wood. Get rid of that skull. Replace it with a taxidermy black bear. Hang a sword above the closet doors. A really goofy looking one from the mall. Unmake the bed. Throw some Cheetos on the floor.
He has to be careful to not get a feminine sword like a rapier or a khopesh
You’re missing the pile of crusty socks.
Pile of crusty socks? This is an adult. There should just be a couple of rigid towels.
The way you decrease both the emptiness and femininity of this space is to get rid of all the retail mall goth shit, rev up the table saw and make some actual furniture.
If you're committed to the black and red aesthetic go with ebonized white oak and glazed black cherry. I'd lean toward the American Craftsman/Mission style, stylish within practicality and built to last, and most importantly would look absolutely stupid in distressed chalk paint.
There's a stereotype that men don't understand bed frames, somebody already in this comment section has posted a bare air mattress on the floor. The other extreme is the fuckateria table on display in the original post. Looks like a futon mat on plywood? Go to a mattress store and buy something that isn't marked down. As for a bed frame, simplicity is the order of the day. No footboard, if you go with a headboard make it functional. Should be low enough to sit down on, a bed you climb up on is college kid shit.
A taller dresser is more masculine, compared to a woman's dressing table.
A simple rocking chair is surprisingly useful, serves as a dressing rack.
You'll probably want three levels of lighting, mood lighting, reading lighting and cleaning lighting. Built-in overhead lights will serve as the latter.
Avoid any urge to set dress. This isn't a film set, you don't have to intentionally clutter tabletops and shelves with shit. Live a life and things to put there will happen to you. For the love of fuck don't decorate with books you want people to think you read.
Ron Swanson, is that you?
Leave it as is and land a banging goth chick
I mean, with the pink looking underglow and black glitter looking duvet cover it does kinda give goth glam 😅
My real question is why the fuck it looks like the bed is just permanently blocking the closet lol
kinda reminds me of fnaf 4 ngl
I kind of thought it was one of those scratchy moving blankets dyed black
Bed a bedroom once where the only space to put the bed (a twin!) was with the head of the bed inside the closet.
Not relevant here, that bed could be moved, but reminded of it.
The torturing rack in the corner really ties the room together
Some nice curtains would really pull the room together.
Is "tidy" feminine?
In my experience, a woman's living space is either more cluttered than a man's because she's got 5.37*10^9 bottles in the shower, piles of laundry made of a larger number of smaller garments, and 900 pillows, OR she lives in a film set where nothing can be moved, touched or used. You don't dry your hands on the towels on the towel rack, those are for decoration, if you need to dry your hands go down to the laundry room, open the towel bin, take out a towel, dry your hands, wash-rinse-sanitize-dry-iron-fold and put away the towel, then go about your day.
Man tidy is "blanket's on the bed, laundry's either put away or in the hamper, the carpet has been vacuumed at some point in the last month, and none of the cologne/deodorant bottles on the dresser are empty."
/srs remove underglow, use plain colored blanket
Though I can't tell that to OP since I am looking at a repost of a screenshot of likely a repost of a shitpost
Paint the walls with Singularity Black. Cover up the colour of capitalization on human rights.
I kinda think the red underglow does make it look feminine. I like it.
Underglow will always have a 2 Fast 2 Furious vibe for me, like that bed has a big amp and subwoofer in the back with no capacitor so it'll stall the engine if the volume is turned up too high, a muffler delete and a spoiler even though it's front wheel drive.
Throw some clothes all over
Is this attached to the doom bathroom?
Maybe. Is that the one with a floor-hole through to the cursed basement?
*bathdoom
Whatever happens in the doom vathroom, stays in the doom bathromm. Decorative choices included.
Cocks everywhere. After all, what is less feminine than giant raging boners?
I can’t be the only one who thought this was a woman/femme-leaning OP who wants to make the space more accommodating for their male/masc-leaning partner?
Is that a loom in the corner lol
Get rid of the easel. Real men don’t paint pretty pictures.