Spyke

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View original on lemmy.world

49 replies

sh.itjust.works

there's a secret third option "I don't know if I can do something about it, I keep trying different things, and things keep failing through and going wrong, and I keep trying again and getting up hope, and I keep failing and being disappointed, but should i try other things? but wait maybe this'll work, that's exciting! But what if it doesn't work like everything else... aaaaaaa I'm stressed"

then it does make sense to worry

55

I don't know. I feel like I had that mentality for a while, actually. It led to an increase amount of background stress which would then increase exponentially when I would "fail".

Letting go of that mentality helped me to be a lot more at peace. Don't get me wrong, it still creeps back up from time to time. I'm only human, after all.

But life isn't a series of fails and wins. Life just is. Events occur. Some bring us up a bit and some bring us down a bit. You can't control everything about the universe. Things happen. Time passes. You do the best you can in life and see what events will unfold. Be gentle to yourself when negative things happen. You can't control everything. You are a human being, not a robot. Not a deity.

Or maybe landing on a specific psych med helped me a bit too idk.

2
programming.dev

You can always

  1. try to change a situation
  2. try to remove yourself from a situation
  3. try to accept a situation

The worst thing you can do it be lazy about changing / leaving a situation yet constantly complain about it.

18
feddit.org

Can you do something about it?

☐ yes
☐ no
☒ maybe?? something might occur to me if i just think hard enough about it?? not like that hasn't worked in the past.

36
dingusreply
lemmy.world

You'll think yourself into crazy that way. Source: been there

2
Lumidaubreply
feddit.org

I know. But anytime I actively tell myself "don't overthink it, relax and see what's coming, accept that you don't have the answer", it goes wrong, I forget shit, I overlook shit, it turns out I could've done something and didn't and now it's a mess.

3

Idk maybe, but you sound a bit like my coworker. She overthinks shit to death more than anyone else I know. Because the times she doesn't, she thinks this stuff happens, as you say.

And you know what...to some degree it can. But I think the bigger thing is to learn to be ok with the mess. Because you aren't perfect. No one is. More relaxed people seem to be tolerant of a higher degree of "mess" that you are. And they lead much happier lives that way.

I know...easier said than done. And the "mess" can be scary and unpleasant. But learning to let go can really do wonders for mental health.

2
lemmy.world

I always hate when people say “it is what it is” but they’re right. It is.

14
bitjunkiereply
lemmy.world

Then you're ahead of the game because you already weren't worrying

21

Alternatively, what if you can do something about it but you're not sure what that is, so you're caught in decision paralysis. And then outsider observers call that "lazy" because it's easier than empathizing with someone who is experiencing a pronounced difficulty?

8

Less worry, and more fighting for your life.

Consultation fee will hit your inbox in a few days. CC'ing in your next-of-kin too. Just in case...

5

Ohhhhh no no, theres a misunderstanding. I dont have a problem with being helpless, my problem is that i cant get myself to solve stuff i know i can and i stress about that

3

Me, asphyxiating: "Nothing I can do about this except tilt my head back and take a deep breath and... oh wait".

4

All I see is a head blissfully rolling off of a pathway into the sweetness of oblivion, one question at a time.

1
db2
lemmy.world

Shikata ga nai

Bonus points if you get the reference.

Edit: I will not be responding. Don't waste your time.

-3
pedzreply

I've only heard shōganai by westerners describing life in Japan, and then while watching videos of the tsunami in 2011. And as others have said, it may be a reference for you, but isn't it just a common saying? Common enough that someone from the other side of the planet knows it, but not your reference.

1
lemmy.world

For anyone reading this who doesn't understand, shikata ga nai is a common saying in Japanese that literally translates to "nothing can be done." It's used very similarly to the English saying "it is what it is." It's not a reference insofar as just speaking in another language isn't really a reference to anything

3

Repeating your incorrect assessment doesn't make it correct. You don't know what it's a reference to, that doesn't mean you know it isn't one.

-2
Lumidaubreply
feddit.org

That's okay, I'm just confused/intrigued at how anyone is going to identify a reference based on a common saying. Like "Goodnight, sleep tight" or "goddammit" or "kids these days". I'll be lurking to see what happens :)

5

I'm with you. I've heard that phrase twice today already and would never think "oh, that's a reference to something".

2

Cute, but wrong. Don't get upset that you don't get it.

-1
db2reply
lemmy.world

The other guy is very obnoxious, I went ahead and blocked him. But since he ruined it with his ignorant behavior I've kind of lost interest in the game. Dude sucked all the fun out of it with that personality flaw.

Since you seemed genuinely interested I wanted to tell you what the reference is though:

https://www.kimstanleyrobinson.info/content/mars-trilogy-glossary

Scroll to S. Also highly recommend the trilogy.

0

lol alright I see

Thank you for explaining and making me aware of this author :)

2

Now I want to tell you what it is but I don't want to make it too easy 😆

0

You reached the end