This is the sort of thing that your most pretentious relative buys, invites the family over for dinner, then spends the whole time fishing for compliments.
"I like the added challenge of your fork constantly slipping from my grip. It's so cool how you found one of our most basic tools, and made it as challenging as it is ugly."
... either that or put them in an 'anti human art exhibit', along side the minimum wage machine that cranks out a penny every couple of minutes, and ... a modern budget airline seat.
It takes a 2€ coin, as you crank the wheel it spits out 1ct in the front and a 100€ bill drops out the back into a vault you can look into but not access.
Not officially on the team, but the knife has a pretty dangerous design: you can't immediately visually distinguish the blade from the handle, also in slippery conditions if you're pushing the knife your fingers slide immediately from the handle to the blade.
The fork is eh, but the width of the handle makes it very hard to spin in your hand, so it would be bad for eating long pasta like spaghetti.
Lol "team tism" doesn't work so well in an australian context since TISM is an anonymous art-rock band known for songs such as "I'm on the drug (that killed river phoenix)" and "You're a wanker".
It still bothers me that in Yob or Wanker I learned that I'm definitely a wanker, and that it means annoying things for how I approach politics. That song was seriously educational.
TISM are fucking genius punks.
Edit: Another great fact about TISM is that there is a serious and ongoing campaign to have them be the Australian entry to Eurovision.
This would go about the same level of awesome as sending Rage Against The Machine for the US.
I love it so much I need the full name and address of the person who made this, including if they have security cameras, where their blind spots are, and if they arm their home security when they go to bed.
@ickplant Very close to the "Arne Jacobsen" tableware featured in "2001 a Space Oydessy". Do I win anything for remembering obscure tableware from 50 years ago? 😜 https://youtu.be/1scvHn2olRM?t=64
@Arcanepotato I think part of the reason I remembered was because I was shocked they were mixing together their beautifully colored uniform food boxes. I used to care a lot about different food touching/mixing. 😵💫
I'm (very slowly) working on an art project of autism friendly/antagonist tableware in my ceramics hobby, despite not having the stereotypical food mixing concern. It's just that foods must be mixed in very specific ways to optimize the texture and temperature contrasts and it's illegal to eat different flavored skittles at the same time. Yes, I'm very normal about food. 🫣
On the hand I am not at all normal about how much I love environmental story telling in 1970s and 1980s sci fi and modernist design. Thank you for sharing this detail about the film.
"Twinpops" those and the generic sleeve of sugar water are mechanic staples, you can get about a thousand for 30 dollars and they don't seem to have crazy sweeteners that make you poop outrageous if you eat one too many.
I had a childhood friend who ate this way all the way into his 20s. Not sure what happened to him from there.
He was supposed to be lefty but his dad tried to break that of him. Now he's the shittiest ambidextrous person you can imagine. Everything he does with his hands is some caveman shit
Texture is the most important part of any meal. I firmly believe utensils contribute to the overall texture of what im eating. These look distracting, uncomfortable, and difficult to use
Then I look closer... indented writing on the handle! NO!
NO!
Ruined a great idea. With sensory torment. Just what's not needed when eating... sensory processing disorder triggering. Cannot digest food under that much stress. Defeats point of cutlery. This is bad design. Not for the straight wide indistinguishable neck, but for the non-smooth handle. It's like electric ants crawling up the nerves.
I feel like the lack of neck will force my hand to just keep shoving the fork in until it hits the back of my throat. Looking at it hurts me. It needs a flared base.
Functionally a 7/10. If I had to guess someone probably made that knife razor sharp for shits and giggles, hoping someone else would cut their finger on it. Doesn't conform to the hand at all. Seeing how thin it is means anything requiring a reasonable amount of force is gonna dig into your hand weird.
Aesthetically. 0/10. No filigree. All the same width and shape. That silver is not polished at all. Only fits in a camping or military kit probably.
130 replies
No. I only use IKEA Atbärt.
0/10. Horrible.
This is the sort of thing that your most pretentious relative buys, invites the family over for dinner, then spends the whole time fishing for compliments.
"I like the added challenge of your fork constantly slipping from my grip. It's so cool how you found one of our most basic tools, and made it as challenging as it is ugly."
The title of this art piece is 'performative starvation'.
Oh, I thought the opposite. Only time I see cutlery lacking shape is for cost-cutting. Rare to see disposable cutlery come in steel.
Melt em down, try again.
... either that or put them in an 'anti human art exhibit', along side the minimum wage machine that cranks out a penny every couple of minutes, and ... a modern budget airline seat.
Someone please build this machine!
It takes a 2€ coin, as you crank the wheel it spits out 1ct in the front and a 100€ bill drops out the back into a vault you can look into but not access.
https://mymodernmet.com/minimum-wage-machine/
Ah, I guess I thought this was more widely known about... this is what I was referencing, already been built.
But do go and build your variant as well!
I had no idea, very cool, thanks for sharing
Just sharing my two cents lol.
Wow is that all it took to make the abolitionist principles leave my body?
(As non functional items I appreciate the aesthetic but looking at them and picturing how they feel makes me want to vomit)
Not officially on the team, but the knife has a pretty dangerous design: you can't immediately visually distinguish the blade from the handle, also in slippery conditions if you're pushing the knife your fingers slide immediately from the handle to the blade. The fork is eh, but the width of the handle makes it very hard to spin in your hand, so it would be bad for eating long pasta like spaghetti.
That would be a problem if the knife was sharp, but you can immediately tell that knife is as blunt as a beach ball.
You can cut yourself with a blunt edge as long as it is rigid and applied enough friction.
Trust me, I did it 😖
If in the best case a knife doesn't cut, it's a really shitty knife.
Butter knives are shitty
Not that shitty, they cut butter, it's in the name
Lol "team tism" doesn't work so well in an australian context since TISM is an anonymous art-rock band known for songs such as "I'm on the drug (that killed river phoenix)" and "You're a wanker".
I like them already
Same. Great name and great titles. Gonna look that up
It still bothers me that in Yob or Wanker I learned that I'm definitely a wanker, and that it means annoying things for how I approach politics. That song was seriously educational.
TISM are fucking genius punks.
Edit: Another great fact about TISM is that there is a serious and ongoing campaign to have them be the Australian entry to Eurovision.
This would go about the same level of awesome as sending Rage Against The Machine for the US.
We call ourselves the "Victims of TISM Support Group".
Everything is shit except for TISM – who are shit.
I love it so much I need the full name and address of the person who made this, including if they have security cameras, where their blind spots are, and if they arm their home security when they go to bed.
To give them hugs, right?
The fork is akin to the barbaric abbreviation, IMO.
NO.
@ickplant Very close to the "Arne Jacobsen" tableware featured in "2001 a Space Oydessy". Do I win anything for remembering obscure tableware from 50 years ago? 😜
https://youtu.be/1scvHn2olRM?t=64
Amazing memory! You win this set of convenient and attractive pan holders:
Definitely ATBGE material here; the stitches are so clean
What's amusing about this is that actual silicone dildos would probably work better and would be more hygenic.
I aspire to this level of autism and am ashamed I did not make the same connection.
@Arcanepotato I think part of the reason I remembered was because I was shocked they were mixing together their beautifully colored uniform food boxes. I used to care a lot about different food touching/mixing. 😵💫
I'm (very slowly) working on an art project of autism friendly/antagonist tableware in my ceramics hobby, despite not having the stereotypical food mixing concern. It's just that foods must be mixed in very specific ways to optimize the texture and temperature contrasts and it's illegal to eat different flavored skittles at the same time. Yes, I'm very normal about food. 🫣
On the hand I am not at all normal about how much I love environmental story telling in 1970s and 1980s sci fi and modernist design. Thank you for sharing this detail about the film.
its like those twin popsicles
"Twinpops" those and the generic sleeve of sugar water are mechanic staples, you can get about a thousand for 30 dollars and they don't seem to have crazy sweeteners that make you poop outrageous if you eat one too many.
I got tine for that
Brutalist cutlery. That’s uhh that’s a thing I guess
Not enough concrete.
But you're still right.
I'm not entirely sure if I am part of the team, but for sure I'm part of the group that hates this.
This is Ragebait!
Cast it back into the fire from hence it came!
(I'm planning an actually scary halloween party)
Well they're sure freaking me out
The amount of time it took that gif to load for me... it took me back to the halcyon days of dial-up.
I hate it
No
h a t e
These for those mfers that hold their cutlery in a fist
I had a childhood friend who ate this way all the way into his 20s. Not sure what happened to him from there.
He was supposed to be lefty but his dad tried to break that of him. Now he's the shittiest ambidextrous person you can imagine. Everything he does with his hands is some caveman shit
Does anyone know what these are called? I legitimately want to buy a set for my frenemy.
Yes, but find them used to not encourage this designer any further
I thought you said "for my family" for a second and was getting ready to report you to CPS.
David Mellor, "minimal"
0/10
I like my silverware to have the handles easily distinguishable from the heads/blades. Also, "handle" design is way too boring for me.
Lmao. Here I was happily scrolling then just….
‘Fucking die’
I wouldn't tell anyone I'd started metalworking, but there'd be signs.
Like all my metal things look like garbage.
nice to touch, bad to use. don't need utensils sliding around in my hands!
I reflexively downvoted this the moment it appeared on my feed
I think a lot of people voted like…
I know I did. Very much a "Thanks I hate it" post
Literally me
Absolutely not.
I never thought silverware could look stupid... Until today
Texture is the most important part of any meal. I firmly believe utensils contribute to the overall texture of what im eating. These look distracting, uncomfortable, and difficult to use
Since I viscerally hate them, I'd assume my twin might like them and they'll show up in the kitchen drawers one day to my annoyance.
I bet the people that like this design also think horizontal Wii remote is comfortable.
No. Rated bad.
Uncomfortable
At first... I want.
Then I look closer... indented writing on the handle! NO!
NO!
Ruined a great idea. With sensory torment. Just what's not needed when eating... sensory processing disorder triggering. Cannot digest food under that much stress. Defeats point of cutlery. This is bad design. Not for the straight wide indistinguishable neck, but for the non-smooth handle. It's like electric ants crawling up the nerves.
Prison motif. Nice.
https://maartenbaptist.com/product/yamazaki-triangular-stainless-steel-cutlery-multitool-japanees-1980-design/
550€ is the money that they give to me if I can finish a meal using that "fork"?
Very close to the utensils I had in the army. Where's the damn spoon?
At least the army utensils had the benefit of being foldable.
I eat with a battle-ready replica of Anduril and a serving fork
I knew I screwed up with my silverware choice on my wedding registry...
I meant to type "sword staffs" not "sword crosses"
it's a staff with a full length sword blade on one side with a big cross guard that kind of makes the whole thing look like a cross
You could also go with IRL medieval blades like the executioner's blade or go Scandinavian and do sword-crosses
NOPE
Depends if any of the edges dig into skin when trying to use.
Ew “What if fork, but thumb?”
I like the rounded handles, makes for easy manipulation. However without taper the balance on the fork would be off.
Then again, this all depends on what gauge steel we’re dealing with. I’m a lummox so I prefer thick, heavy steel so I don’t accidentally bend them.
Ooh, I just learned a new word thanks to you (lummox).
You’re welcome! I learned it from Ren & Stimpy
So that show WAS educational after all!
Everything is a lesson if you look hard enough
They’re not too big or too heavy I’m assuming so I don’t like them but they avoid my two biggest hates, I could live with them if I had to
I like thick unbending silverware. All my favorite spoons had some extra meat on them.
I fucks with it
If I'm allowed to etch them then I can fix it.
"Stylized apocalyptic"
either the best or the absolute worst
Not my cup of tea. But it's cutlery, tbf.
Puns aside: I wouldn't buy it. Although, I'm a bit intrigued how the handling is. Also: is there a matching spoon?
It's just a brick
see, the problem here is it looks like someone sealed the tableware in carbonite.
It's wrong.
It's fine. If I was served with these, I would forget it the next day.
I can easily see myself getting high and using the wrong end of both of these.
“Why are my hands bleeding?”
Better give mum a bloody good night handshake.
Ew.
Unholy do not like
This post is generating exactly the kind of lively discussion I was hoping for. I love you all!
maybe/10
Unable to rate without being able to use… this opinion is informed by the cool looking but otherwise quite drippy spoons we got as wedding gifts.
How do I delete someone else's post?
Unfinished.
this is exactly what I expected an IKEA fork to look like and was disappointed when I didn't find it the first time I went there
What a terrible idea made manifest.
I'm fine with the knife (it being almost one shape the whole way through is very pleasing), but the fork is no.
Surprisingly, I’m ok with the knife too. But the fork is making me wince every time I look.
Funny, I have the exact opposite reaction. I can see myself using the fork fine, but its so unclear where the knife's handle ends and blade begins.
Is everyone so upset at the fork because we’re all having the same intrusive thought?
Is it just me?
For me it’s the “neck” of the fork. The fact that it’s non existent makes me very uncomfortable on a somatic level.
I feel like the lack of neck will force my hand to just keep shoving the fork in until it hits the back of my throat. Looking at it hurts me. It needs a flared base.
Big metal popsicle sticks, with some slots carved in them....
No.
It looks like the prongs of the fork taper inwards a little bit and I hate it
@ickplant Terrible, where is the spoon?
... the only acceptable use of these things is using them to thwap whoever gave or showed them to you.
Diogenes, give me strength...
Tryna pass off tongue depressors and/or shoehorns as spoons smh my head
One slip and you're finger are on the sharp end
Oddly satisfying
Functionally a 7/10. If I had to guess someone probably made that knife razor sharp for shits and giggles, hoping someone else would cut their finger on it. Doesn't conform to the hand at all. Seeing how thin it is means anything requiring a reasonable amount of force is gonna dig into your hand weird.
Aesthetically. 0/10. No filigree. All the same width and shape. That silver is not polished at all. Only fits in a camping or military kit probably.
Aesthetically, 10/10.
Ergonomically, 6/10.
There are few things i hate more
Bunch of uncultured idiots here who don't understand that you're supposed to use these like a fucked-up cross between salad tongs and chopsticks.
Go back to your two-block dirt holes and eat your McDonald's Dorito-Tacoritos with your toes or whatever, you unwashed philistines.