ALEX JONES IS DEAD (First episode of The Onion's new weekly InfoWars show)
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102 replies
When I was out and about today, I listened to the head of The Onion being interviewed on NPR. He talked a lot about the ways Alex Jones has tried to get out of paying the families of the Sandy Hook kids that were killed like he's required to. They tried to devalue Info Wars, and then have a shell company buy it at auction for a tiny amount so that there would be no money to pay the families. Apparently that was the original motivation for The Onion bidding on it and bidding it up: to make sure there was money for the families, and also they thought they could do something with it.
That whole thing is still in litigation, with Jones saying the company really has no value. So The Onion is releasing new content of the kind they intend to do on the site, in hopes that people will stream it and show the judge that there's an audience and a value. I decided to watch the first episode even if it's terrible, to give them the views.
It's not terrible, it's hilarious. Well worth watching. Note that some of the commercials are theirs, and you might not want to skip those.
Wow, he could have apologised and settled out of court at any time, and instead we get a worm crawling down every hole.
The conservative and libertarian mind can only ever think about themselves.
Alex Jones is truly a malevolent POS (person of shit) and so are his fans. I wish nothing but the worst for them.
I caught the live stream about halfway through. I skipped back to the beginning and I really enjoyed it. I plan on watching it every week, hopefully live, to help boost their numbers.
The ad for Oxygyn was truly hilarious and I like that they're still running with "Turn Your Piss into Gold."
Yeah, completely agree on both things.
The hog water commercial was pretty good.
None of them are real commercials, sadly, not even Turn Your Gold Into Piss
No, it’s real. And, there’s a glitch where you get more piss for the gold than gold for the piss. Infinite piss. What more could you want?
That's so embarrassing that they got the ratios wrong so I can get infinite piss by just continually buying both products. They're gonna panic when they wonder why I've bought out their whole stock, but by then it will be too late. 🧠🧠🧠
I did not know any of this. Thank you.
https://www.npr.org/2026/07/02/nx-s1-5871321/the-onions-plan-to-finally-take-over-infowars
Yep, that was the segment - I didn't think to link it, thanks
Omg I have been waiting to see what they do with this IP. I gotta make sure I come back.
It looks like they'll be doing a live stream every Thursday evening.
Tonight's was great. I learned a lot. Like JFK didn't kill himself. I never ever considered that he might have been assassinated.
"We really have no idea how medium-up this goes."
It's definitely off to a good start.
So far I've learned Alex Jones is unable to grow hair on the top of his head
Come on man, you really buy this conspiracy shit? Everyone knows his head just kinda did that on its own.
Is it possible he hanged himself from a light pole?
I was so sure he hung himself.
We are so lucky to have such honest and reliable news sources!
It's a brand, a name. It's not "IP". There is no such thing as intellectual property, it's a manipulative term.
That being said, agree with the sentiment! This is great 😊
People arguing against IP either have never created anything, or have their “creative” endeavours backed by family wealth.
Tbh I agree with the general spirit of what they are saying but IP is obviously a valid legal construct and wishing it wasn't doesn't change that, and I didn't really appreciate being "well aCkshULly"d so I hit the down arrow anyway lol
Intellectual property is as real as any other property is: it's all made up by people, but it has the force of social/economic/governmental institutions behind it so it can affect your life.
It's just that legal concepts tend to attract discussions by people who can't tell the difference between a descriptive or positive argument (how things are) versus a normative argument (how things should be).
What the fuck are you even talking about? "Intellectual property" is a term pushed by corporations and their lawyers to lump together very different legal regimes like copyright, trademark, regional indications or patents, under one supposedly common name. Doing this really has the main advantage of making it possible to use the language of theft when talking about things that can be infinitely copied, and therefore can't be stolen. "Stolen IP" makes about as much sense as "unauthorised colour".
Well, next time you create something useful, I hope you share it with everyone for free
Are you by any chance a sovcit?
Uh, no. What would make you think this?
All this has been common knowledge in FOSS circles for ages.
OH YEAH I totally forgot that The Onion acquired InfoWars after Alex Jones was forced to sell due to multiple legal proceedings including his divorce and a lawsuit from Sandy Hook shooting victims that he claimed were actors.
Apparently the actual sale of Infowars is still tied up in court. What they're doing here is just creating their own Infowars despite that, consequences be damned. Alex Jones isn't in any position to protect the trademark and The Onion is calling it parody.
Alex Jones doesn't own any IP any more. His bankruptcy estate owns the shares in the business that used to be his. So Alex Jones can't sue for any infringement. In fact Alex Jones continued to illegally use the studio and the branding for months after he lost the rights to do so.
In theory Jones's bankruptcy estate's liquidator / administrator could sue on behalf of the estate. But that guy was trying to award the auction to the Onion in the first place.
The Onion tried to strike a short term lease deal, which hasn't been approved yet. So they're just going to make the lease payments to the plaintiffs directly for the time being.
And they think they're in a pretty legally defensible situation, because, hey, who's going to sue them?
By the way, the court ruled that the judgement can't be discharged in bankruptcy. So Jones is coming out of bankruptcy, and he still owes the full amount (less whatever is collected from the Onion) personally. He doesn't get a clean slate. Any future income of his can be garnished and assets seized down to some minimum. For the rest of his life.
keep going, I'm almost there
I read this in weird al's voice, but like he's saying the whole thing at once in one big breath.
I thought there was another issue. I'm so glad, I fucking love it.
Edit: I think this show is going to get followers like Colbert got followers because they thought it was real. There's a hole to fill.
I'm being lied to... RIGHT now.
I lost hope before that The Onion have lost the legal battle to acquire InfoWars. But alas, there is indeed a god!
They won the lawsuit like 4 months ago
You gotta hear Ben Collins' interview with
Terry Grossanother interviewer yesterday. It actually gave me a tiny spark of hope in our future.Tim's going to completely shred his voice doing this character
From the picture I couldn't even tell it was him.
The lying mainstream media is not even mentioning his death!!!!!111
I laughed out loud every time they showed that video.
Haven't been able to watch it all yet; have to head to work. But man oh man, Jim Haggerty with the everyman Colbert Show vibes. Love it. And Tim's Alex Jones impression is spot...on.
if you have a minute, the theme song is great
First half of the headline got me lol
Dang, I ate the onion
I only had a bite. It's like when you ask for no onions and then you get a bite and you're like ew wtf is this Alex Jones is dead doing in my burger?
The parody is just so on point. Could have gone with an even more clowny version of Alex J*nes, but extending the stuttering bluster to be the entire runtime of the show would be gauche.
Realizing the headline isn't real:
You're being lied to... right now!
Give it time.
I just want Knowledge Fight back.
Did they stop? I feel like I listened to some new episodes earlier this year
They quit in May of this year, shortly after the Onion announced their plans for InfoWars.com. Jordan had a very negative reaction to the Onion development, and streamed this on Twitch. Dan and Jordan couldn’t agree on a way to move forward, and amicably parted ways. They explain the situation in the penultimate episode, the last studio episode. The final episode was a pre-scheduled live show that they both agreed to go through with.
Jordan still streams occasionally on Twitch at jay_bee_holmes. I’m still waiting for whatever Dan does next.
Edit: Dan just dropped the first episode of his new podcast, minutes after I posted this! What a coincidence. It’s on the old KF feed.
I'm interested, what's it called? Not sure what the old feed was.
The old podcast is Knowledge Fight. The new one is Show Me State of Mind. The first SMSoM episode was cross-posted to KF also.
Got it, thanks!
Oh wow, I am so happy to learn that Dan is already posting his new project.
Is that Jordan video really just an hour of one word every twenty seconds?
No, the intro is long, then he comes on and talks. It’s not good. I don’t recommend watching it. I think it was a manic episode, and it was a while ago, so there’s nothing to be done about it now. Knowledge Fight is over.
He's been dead for 15 years, replaced by one of those Men In Black bodies with a bug in the head.
i'm pretty sure that's not where the bug is
My mistake, I couldn't tell
No worries. Standard model is head, but his pilot seat is allllll the way up his ass
Jim Mother-Fucking Haggerty!
His delivery is soooo good. He need's a full time gig.
HOG WATER! HOG WATER! HOG WATER!
I DRINK HOG WATER WHEN I A CRANK MY HOG WITH MY BROTHERS!
Green is the best flavor!
Popped like a balloon
I thought infowars.com was being taken over - is it not?
They are fighting as much as possible to prevent the onion takeover
He's still trying, but that's just typical Alex Jones bullshit. It's over, The Onion owns it, and Fatso doesn't stand a chance of getting it back.
leased*
I just made it to the first “commercial break”. Damn I’m glad to have the day off.
This Elf must be stopped.
Don't they own the Alex Jones character? I would have just used a generated Alex Jones suit on an actor and gotten increasingly uncanny with it.
I wasn't sure what to expect. But this was pretty good for what it is. Fuck Alex Jone and InfoWars.
I think onion had a great opportunity to fix the damage Alex jones did back then but instead they went for “adult swim” direction. I bet there were lots of previous info wars watchers would have started watching it thinking it was back. Could have had the potential to educate them at least a couple. But yeah, gotta show those ads so it’s “lulz” direction.
This would have been onions entry to get into actual news industry. I think onion literally contributes nothing to anything. I really think the world in this situation because people are not taking serious what sort of direction we’re headed to. You don’t see any single racist media spending their time to make clown shows. They have their actual clowns like rogan to boost their credibility. I admit I haven’t watched the whole thing. If I want something silly, I would have watch Tim and Eric instead.
Idk man. I think they’ve really missed their shot to make something actually useful with info wars. Oh well, everything sucks anyway.
All of the money the receive goes to Sandy Hook families. So there's that.
Edit: I'm watching it now, and I have to disagree. Satire has its place, and there's a lot of value in showing just how absurd these people are.
Oh didn’t knew that. That’s good to know.
Jordan?
hard disagree: satire and mockery is useful and has historically been a way to fight back against fascists and autorcrats.
Don’t get me wrong not replying to troll or anything. Genuinely asking; I’ve always seen this argument but what exactly worked in the past? Are there any examples what made the previous satire worked against?
The onion sucks, and plagarizes better men.
Oh shit! -5 rating on Voyager and you're wrong here and you're a fucking asshole based on history. Go put a firecracker in your pee hole bro. Easy block.
Hey you need to be better, obviously this guy is struggling.
He won't understand the implication he should light the firecracker unless you tell him explicitly.
I'll do better next time and make sure I mention to light any firecrackers lodged in the junk.
Your blocklist is working? Mine hasn't in like a month
It seems to be working as far as I can tell.
that makes one of us. i tried blocking you an hour ago as a test before sending this and unblocking you.
I did just notice a guy I thought I blocked show up in my feed... I wonder what is going on.
the admins got tired of the mods complaining that people weren't just blocking and moving on so they disabled the blocklists? sounds like something the admins would do
🤷. I did just check and the guy I thought I had blocked wasn't actually blocked. Voyager is a little finicky with stuff you've blocked so it's not that easy for me to test.
Ha ha, says someone that has never produced material. You aren't a producer, you feed off attacking downvoted comments because you have nothing positive to contribute yourself.
21 posts of content vs your 3. What material are you producing? Shit?
Nope that's me producing the shit. Sorry, I lost my shovel
Ha ha, says someone producing nothing.
Good riddance, you are clearly an asshole.
No you!