Entertainment budget. Every day I walk down to the tracks, retrieve the smushed penny from yesterday, admire it for a moment and set another one on the rails
Christ. My son has a cough, and he crawled up into our bed last night. Spent hours coughing directly into my ear, slapping me with flailing hands, and crying for milk (which he then rejected after it was offered).
It gets better. The early years are so exhausting that it’s hard to function. It so often feels like you’re talking to a wall and repeating yourself every day. And then little by little, they start to parrot your saying and mannerisms (which is frankly, hilarious). Be kind to yourself while you’re in the trenches, it will get better and every year will be easier than the one before
Oh no doubt. We've got friends with older kids and we're getting a bunch of hot tips about what comes next - some good, some bad.
One of my friends swears the best day in a parent's life is the day you change the last diaper. But the second best is the day your kids beat you at chess.
I mean that's totally on you. Like it's so obvious beforehand that u are not gonna get a lot of sleep once u have children. People nowadays really don't think things through, do they.
Go to bed at 9PM, that should work out to around 8h even with kids getting up early and a few interruptions during the night. That worked for us at least when the kids were still infants/toddlers.
Not all kids sleep a regular schedule, despite their parents’ best efforts. I work with neurodivergent kids and every day there’s inevitably some kid who woke up at 4am, or didn’t fall asleep until midnight, or both.
No if course they don't, neither did ours (youngest still doesn't consistently at 7yo)...both our kids are ND. Key for us is division of responsibilities. One has them in the evening/night, the other takes mornings. Switch around however it fits your everyday schedule requirements. One can covee afternoons if adult naps are needed as well.
This still allows for pretty consistently getting a decent amount of sleep. If you're a single parent, then yeah it's fucked.
My niece and nephew have perfectly regular sleep schedules. As in their sleep schedules are super consistent.
Is it "regular" like "regular people have it"? Fuck no!
But their schedule is like clockwork with it's regularity.
Wake up at 4am, full of energy until 4pm, unconscious until 8pm, wide awake until midnight, asleep until 4am, repeat. They're 10 now and I really hope they get a job someday that let's them keep that kind of schedule because it works so well for them.
EDIT: I should clarify though that their schedule is almost perfectly at odds with my brother's (their dad) schedule.
Being stressed out by the world is unhealthy. Withdrawing from reality to avoid that stress is also unhealthy. The fuck am I supposed to do move to another planet? In this economy?
Y'all have never been to court ordered alcoholics anonymous meetings and it shows.
Reinhold Niebuhr wrote the first known version of the Serenity Prayer, and it's been through a few revisions just by popular word of mouth or even literal Hallmark greeting cards, but the version they say at AA meetings is:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
The basic principle can be decoupled from the religious origins and still be a useful approach to life. Learn not to stress about the things not in your control, while still taking control of the influence you do have.
Huh? Where and what you eat is absolutely something you have control over. A war in Iran raising prices on food is not something you have control over.
Oh yeah? I'm jealous you never had to worry about what job to do in the economy that will feed me.
I had few months where I was going door to door, hoping someone wants their lawn mowed or windows washed so I can eat that night. And I'd say I'm privileged ones because I knew this kind man who was willing to lend me his tools to mow and to clean windows. I'm lucky because I got a scholarship for tuition for university and I don't have to worry about what to eat anymore.
But for the few months I relied only on window washing and lawn moving, I remember I at least had 4-5 days where despite going through 100s of houses, no one needing the services.
But Please tell me how absolute of a control I had about what I eat with 0 earnings in that day and my networth being essentially 0. I guess absolute control I had was starve.
Not trying to get into a poverty contest with you. You mistook me clarifying what I said as a challenge against your life experiences.
To reiterate: don't stress about things you have no control over. Stressing about it won't change anything. That time and energy is better spent stressing about the things you do have control over.
Maybe you not liking the taste of boot is some kind of mental illness? Or maybe you just need more drugs. No I will jot prescribe them. Yes I will judge you.
I suppose drugs? The doctors have a lot of those. Though those drugs make the Sacklers a loooot of money and ruin people's lives. So I suppose one can choose artisinal life-wrecking (by a guy named Kevyn who made the drugs himself at home in his trailer, or the industrailzed version. But that's the US I suppose, not being from there I just take a stroll in the woods and feel fine
The only way for me to avoid stress would be suicide and even then there would probably be some cunt in the afterlife like "nah, nah, nah no rest yet, because you are here early you have to work off the remaining years you should have been alive and then we'll talk about interests, oh wait that's kinda like it is now...
Also thank God for indie + AA games and GOG + itch. Gaming can get pretty predatory but at least there are some places still where new games come up that aren't using every engagement technique to bleed you dry.
I've been really enjoying rain world and just getting to be a little guy running around and dying a lot.
Reminder that every sizable company in the attention economy retains amongst its employees individuals who have the academic and professional background to fine tune their systems to make and keep a vice grip on the attention of it's users/victims, regardless of the negative effects it has on the micro level for an individual victim, or the macro level on society as a whole.
On top of that, most of us only get meaningful substantial social interaction at work, if that.
Just "quitting all social media" is tougher than it sounds because deep down humans want to interact with each other, but we often can't! And aside from algorithms, lots of stuff sucks right now, so that's what people are talking about. And that's before we bring algorithms into the equation.
The Internet used to be this wonderful place to reach out and meet other human beings from anywhere, and make friends, and share, and be connected to those other people without being stuck in 100°F heat and traffic or airlines. It was a digital "third place" for humanity to hang out.
And now the main 'net is an unholy, ravenous corporate homunculus that wears the skin of that third place.
We're still mostly physically isolated from the rest of our species unless it's an unpleasant obligation, but the "people" are harder to find amongst all the shapeshifting shills, ads, propagandists, and most of all, bots.
Lemmy has none of those algorithms, and a lot of the articles and posts bum me the heck out, badly, but I still feel the urge to visit because outside of work and my overworked family and busy friends on wacky schedules, I too, am isolated.
Ah yes, keep doing the things that are causing you massive chronic stress but please stop doing that one fun activity your using to charge your batteries cause your hearthrate might go up from it and we cant have you waste your remaining health on something that is not economically useful.
You can choose an adjacent hobby without the same stress level, that’s a choice. Instead of doing basketball tournaments, plays some beer league, or just shoot some hoops. There’s always options.
I mean i was just making a relatable joke for people who know what its like to struggle mentally, this wasn’t an issue that needs solving, but if you cant relate then honestly that is great for you.
My partner has been looking for a hobby that does not burn them out for over half their life that is not “sleeping till next shift”.
Most of these generic kind of suggestion all amount to “have you tried to just not having problems?”
That always bothered the heck out of me. Healthwise, jobs are basically society-mandated cigarettes with a ton of "virtue" on the packaging.
Toxic friends? "Leave them! They're so bad for you!"
Addiction? "Quit that. It's so bad for you!"
Chair all day? "Get away from that, go get some fresh air!"
Terrible job? "Woah woah...let's not be hasty. Do you have another terrible job lined up to take its place?"
But yes, you have a hobby that makes you feel alive but doesn't pay money? Here comes the lecture about "being an adult means..." and "Sometimes you need to make room for important things."
It's no surprise of course. Human success and happiness is not something our socioeconomic systems strive for, in the eons-long game of competing empires. 🙄
I couldn't be a juggler because, uh, well I have an impediment, but I turned that into my educational art project where I can teach behind a screen and not, uh, not have that impediment.
Foraging is a good, low-stress hobby that costs nothing. You get to be out in nature and score free food. Bonus points if the plant you forage for is invasive - then you’re helping the environment, too!
Their job is to give you the answers not figure out how to integrate them into your life, know if it's possible or how much sacrifice it takes you. Or maybe that's just my experience with doctors, I am poor afterall.
Perhaps “goblin mode” is a viable option?
Don't let your dreams be dreams.
Quits job and retires early
“You told me to avoid stress…”
Until your meager savings runs out and now the stress level is 100x what it was before
lol y'all have savings?
Who has savings, most of us just have debt.
not for long at this rate
What do you think the pennies in the jar are for?
Hey, copper prices are going up, that's an investment!
To punish myself for swearing too much
I am too garsh darned broke to friggin' swear.
Entertainment budget. Every day I walk down to the tracks, retrieve the smushed penny from yesterday, admire it for a moment and set another one on the rails
Definitely not enough at this rate.
I love all these YouTube videos, health gurus and influencers encouraging me to sleep a full eight hours.
Y'all motherfuckers have never had children, have you?
Why would you have children if you wanted to sleep ever again?
Because sex is fun, birth control is not always perfect, my wife did not wish an abortion and I respect her bodily autonomy.
Or worked hospitality. These fuckers have never done an AFD or a clopen
Love the word "clopen". It's a terrible word and it gets the point across perfectly.
You don't even get to finish "close" before you're already opening. There's no hyphen or breath time in-between.
It's all just mashed together, rushed, and stressful, just like the shift it describes.
Christ. My son has a cough, and he crawled up into our bed last night. Spent hours coughing directly into my ear, slapping me with flailing hands, and crying for milk (which he then rejected after it was offered).
I am in an absolute haze this morning.
It gets better. The early years are so exhausting that it’s hard to function. It so often feels like you’re talking to a wall and repeating yourself every day. And then little by little, they start to parrot your saying and mannerisms (which is frankly, hilarious). Be kind to yourself while you’re in the trenches, it will get better and every year will be easier than the one before
Oh no doubt. We've got friends with older kids and we're getting a bunch of hot tips about what comes next - some good, some bad.
One of my friends swears the best day in a parent's life is the day you change the last diaper. But the second best is the day your kids beat you at chess.
So I've got a lot to look forward to
That’s rough, buddy.
I mean that's totally on you. Like it's so obvious beforehand that u are not gonna get a lot of sleep once u have children. People nowadays really don't think things through, do they.
The name fits your attitude perfectly :D
Go to bed at 9PM, that should work out to around 8h even with kids getting up early and a few interruptions during the night. That worked for us at least when the kids were still infants/toddlers.
Not all kids sleep a regular schedule, despite their parents’ best efforts. I work with neurodivergent kids and every day there’s inevitably some kid who woke up at 4am, or didn’t fall asleep until midnight, or both.
No if course they don't, neither did ours (youngest still doesn't consistently at 7yo)...both our kids are ND. Key for us is division of responsibilities. One has them in the evening/night, the other takes mornings. Switch around however it fits your everyday schedule requirements. One can covee afternoons if adult naps are needed as well.
This still allows for pretty consistently getting a decent amount of sleep. If you're a single parent, then yeah it's fucked.
My niece and nephew have perfectly regular sleep schedules. As in their sleep schedules are super consistent.
Is it "regular" like "regular people have it"? Fuck no!
But their schedule is like clockwork with it's regularity.
Wake up at 4am, full of energy until 4pm, unconscious until 8pm, wide awake until midnight, asleep until 4am, repeat. They're 10 now and I really hope they get a job someday that let's them keep that kind of schedule because it works so well for them.
EDIT: I should clarify though that their schedule is almost perfectly at odds with my brother's (their dad) schedule.
what about people on 2nd or 3rd shift
I dont think I've ever heard of 2nd and 3rd shift, Pippin
Being stressed out by the world is unhealthy. Withdrawing from reality to avoid that stress is also unhealthy. The fuck am I supposed to do move to another planet? In this economy?
"Avoid stress" is code for don't worry about things you have no control over.
Thinking I have no control over things feels defeatist
You can control things, just not everything.
Well yea. My point is, there is very little you have "no control" over; and "things I can influence" is where stress comes from
Y'all have never been to court ordered alcoholics anonymous meetings and it shows.
Reinhold Niebuhr wrote the first known version of the Serenity Prayer, and it's been through a few revisions just by popular word of mouth or even literal Hallmark greeting cards, but the version they say at AA meetings is:
The basic principle can be decoupled from the religious origins and still be a useful approach to life. Learn not to stress about the things not in your control, while still taking control of the influence you do have.
Where to get my next meal, is something I don't always have control over. Unfortunately it's also not something I can stop worrying about.
Edit: made it clear that my situation is much better now, but it wasn't always.
Huh? Where and what you eat is absolutely something you have control over. A war in Iran raising prices on food is not something you have control over.
Oh yeah? I'm jealous you never had to worry about what job to do in the economy that will feed me. I had few months where I was going door to door, hoping someone wants their lawn mowed or windows washed so I can eat that night. And I'd say I'm privileged ones because I knew this kind man who was willing to lend me his tools to mow and to clean windows. I'm lucky because I got a scholarship for tuition for university and I don't have to worry about what to eat anymore.
But for the few months I relied only on window washing and lawn moving, I remember I at least had 4-5 days where despite going through 100s of houses, no one needing the services. But Please tell me how absolute of a control I had about what I eat with 0 earnings in that day and my networth being essentially 0. I guess absolute control I had was starve.
Not trying to get into a poverty contest with you. You mistook me clarifying what I said as a challenge against your life experiences.
To reiterate: don't stress about things you have no control over. Stressing about it won't change anything. That time and energy is better spent stressing about the things you do have control over.
Is code for "just don't have anxiety or burnout! It's easy!"
Maybe you not liking the taste of boot is some kind of mental illness? Or maybe you just need more drugs. No I will jot prescribe them. Yes I will judge you.
I suppose drugs? The doctors have a lot of those. Though those drugs make the Sacklers a loooot of money and ruin people's lives. So I suppose one can choose artisinal life-wrecking (by a guy named Kevyn who made the drugs himself at home in his trailer, or the industrailzed version. But that's the US I suppose, not being from there I just take a stroll in the woods and feel fine
Who wants to be decorative anyway?
Gollum with his bros.
Gargoyles are water features. So unless you want to be installed at the end of a gutter and vomit water, I recommend becoming a grotesque instead.
Oh, so Kirk was the new college gargoyle, not just grotesque. Now I get it!
Ok, wow, this just made me realize that "gargle" and "gargoyle" share the same "mouth/throat water" origin. Mind blown.
And the Spanish word for throat is garganta
AND YOUR MOM IS GARGANTUOUS
One of my favorite fun facts is that the proper name for a Gothic grotesque that is purely decorative is hunky punk
Sadly. No one wants to hire a hermit to live in their garden these days.
I would love to unsubscribe from the economy
Patient: "Uh, there are systemic reasons I can't avoid stress, doc."
Doctor: (Dusts off hands) "Well, my job is done here!"
Just move to Stardew Valley bro.
The only way for me to avoid stress would be suicide and even then there would probably be some cunt in the afterlife like "nah, nah, nah no rest yet, because you are here early you have to work off the remaining years you should have been alive and then we'll talk about interests, oh wait that's kinda like it is now...
Stress of dissappointing people who may care.
With a username like that, your worries are completely reasonable.
Grotesque
What is this? Mulder from the X-Files?
Same doctors also started to call teeth "cosmetic only" once they realized they could make a shitton of money from the organs people use to eat.
I dissociate via video games. Shapez2 has gotten it's hooks in me.
Also thank God for indie + AA games and GOG + itch. Gaming can get pretty predatory but at least there are some places still where new games come up that aren't using every engagement technique to bleed you dry.
I've been really enjoying rain world and just getting to be a little guy running around and dying a lot.
She could try not doomscrolling and blasting herself with horrible news and opinions from crazy people on social media for a start
Reminder that every sizable company in the attention economy retains amongst its employees individuals who have the academic and professional background to fine tune their systems to make and keep a vice grip on the attention of it's users/victims, regardless of the negative effects it has on the micro level for an individual victim, or the macro level on society as a whole.
On top of that, most of us only get
meaningfulsubstantial social interaction at work, if that.Just "quitting all social media" is tougher than it sounds because deep down humans want to interact with each other, but we often can't! And aside from algorithms, lots of stuff sucks right now, so that's what people are talking about. And that's before we bring algorithms into the equation.
The Internet used to be this wonderful place to reach out and meet other human beings from anywhere, and make friends, and share, and be connected to those other people without being stuck in 100°F heat and traffic or airlines. It was a digital "third place" for humanity to hang out.
And now the main 'net is an unholy, ravenous corporate homunculus that wears the skin of that third place.
We're still mostly physically isolated from the rest of our species unless it's an unpleasant obligation, but the "people" are harder to find amongst all the shapeshifting shills, ads, propagandists, and most of all, bots.
Lemmy has none of those algorithms, and a lot of the articles and posts bum me the heck out, badly, but I still feel the urge to visit because outside of work and my overworked family and busy friends on wacky schedules, I too, am isolated.
Did that for a while, cause I had no choice. Very little stress, for a bit. Till the money starts running out.
Quit my job and moved to the woods and a survival for dummies book.
What's stopping you?
They mean dont do high stress hobbies, like maybe don’t race cars, don’t play competitive sports, stuff like that.
Ah yes, keep doing the things that are causing you massive chronic stress but please stop doing that one fun activity your using to charge your batteries cause your hearthrate might go up from it and we cant have you waste your remaining health on something that is not economically useful.
You can choose an adjacent hobby without the same stress level, that’s a choice. Instead of doing basketball tournaments, plays some beer league, or just shoot some hoops. There’s always options.
I mean i was just making a relatable joke for people who know what its like to struggle mentally, this wasn’t an issue that needs solving, but if you cant relate then honestly that is great for you.
My partner has been looking for a hobby that does not burn them out for over half their life that is not “sleeping till next shift”.
Most of these generic kind of suggestion all amount to “have you tried to just not having problems?”
The point isn't the stress level of the hobby, it's that you're expected to drop your hobbies to manage your stress, not your much more stressful job.
That always bothered the heck out of me. Healthwise, jobs are basically society-mandated cigarettes with a ton of "virtue" on the packaging.
But yes, you have a hobby that makes you feel alive but doesn't pay money? Here comes the lecture about "being an adult means..." and "Sometimes you need to make room for important things."
It's no surprise of course. Human success and happiness is not something our socioeconomic systems strive for, in the eons-long game of competing empires. 🙄
I hate to break it to you man, but the point of life isn't work.
How the hell did you get that from my comment?
I couldn't be a juggler because, uh, well I have an impediment, but I turned that into my educational art project where I can teach behind a screen and not, uh, not have that impediment.
But I never have done anything like that? That's like saying just quit smoking to someone who's never smoked. The stress is just from being alive.
How are they to know that? It’s general advice for everyone lol.
I mean, with the cost of everything, all Hobbies are high stress.
Foraging is a good, low-stress hobby that costs nothing. You get to be out in nature and score free food. Bonus points if the plant you forage for is invasive - then you’re helping the environment, too!
And you can spice things up by calling it "botanical bounty hunting." :D
Their job is to give you the answers not figure out how to integrate them into your life, know if it's possible or how much sacrifice it takes you. Or maybe that's just my experience with doctors, I am poor afterall.